✨🐈‍⬛

Time is soup.

[metamorphesque]

there is a moment between jumping from the frying pan into the fire that feels a lot like liberation

[nylarac]

not to be a pedantic hater but i wish tumblr accent wasn't the commonly used term to describe tumblrina typing quirks and phrases bc that is Not an accent it's a dialect!!

[seimsisk]

what's the difference here?

[nylarac]

accents just affect how you pronounce words

dialects also include grammar (like tumblr users' tendency to not captialize except for Emphasis or ending sentences with commas like this,,,,,) and vocabulary (blorbo, devil's sacrament, #mythis, etc)

[gr8writingtips]

writing tip #4232:

don't follow your heart. follow MY heart. only write things i want to read please and thank you

[salmon-n-hazel]

Dandelions

Shop print INPRNT | Scarves & Bandana: Ko-Fi

[teathattast]

[wizardarchetypes]

it’s sooo funny when rude customers encounter employees who can deny them service for the first time.

i was working at a little cafe where I could deny service over bad behavior, harassment etc. & mask mandates had just ended a week before & already people were being weird about me still wearing mine—an N95, the kind shaped kinda like a duckbill.

so this man walked in, looked at me sooo scathingly, laughed at me, and said “damn. never known a woman to choose…practicality over looks.”

And I just said, “oh. you can go, you’re not getting a drink.” And he said, “what???”

I said, “sir, you just walked in at 6 am & called women impractical and me ugly in one sentence.”

And he was so astonished he didn’t even argue he just turned around and left 💀🙏🏻 it was like he suddenly became self aware

[carolinalaurel]

One summer I was running ferry rides across a lake so people could see the waterfalls without walking 6 miles when a guy snapped my bra strap as he was boarding the boat. So i immediately threw him off, he started yelling for my manager, my boss cheerfully informed him that, yeah, she’s the captain of the boat and she can kick off anyone she wants. He goes to storm off, looks expectantly at his girlfriend, and she just goes, “Well, I’M not walking six miles, Michael! I’ll meet you back at the car!” and sits right back down!!!!

The expression on his face when he was told that he couldn’t get on the boat, then immediately told that his girlfriend was ditching him? PRICELESS. he just blinked at her and then stormed off like a child. I gave her a free hat and was like maybe rethink this relationship…….

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

i once had this fucker come up to order a beer. while i pour it he shows me the wanky fucking chemical structure tattoo on his arm and he’s like “hey. you know what this is” i was like “nah sorry” (never cared abt chemistry in school, plus having to look at a some rando’s pretentious tattoo gives me the douche chills). he decides to respond with “heh. you must not read many books”

i immediately stop pouring his beer. i reply: “heh. you must not want this beer.” thirsty boy immediately starts groveling like a worm “please please no i do want the beer im sorry im sorry” believe me when i say it was one of the most pathetic things ive ever witnessed

[lezbadeez]

gotta love people immediately backpedaling when they realise that there are Consequences To Being Mean

[lastvalyrian]

I genuinely believe that part of why it has become so normalized to be openly callous and evil in politics is that customer service culture has trained affluent people that they can treat everyone they consider beneath them however they want and still be treated kindly.

[vamprisms]

being online is so scary aren't you guys worried about the world wide spider

[redfagdiver]

It took 36 years for someone to make this joke and by god it was worth the wait

[sludgebitch]

"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"

[sludgebitch]

can you people stop reblogging this my notes look like lunchtime

[cyle]

you laugh but this is how compound emoji work in the utf8 spec

[thotsoflore]

I learned last night through personal experience that you can in fact fist a neopussy, and it made me realize that so much of the propaganda against bottom surgery, even the really small ways that "a neopussy isn't like a *real* vagina" are complete fabrications.

I get wet when I'm horny, I have a vaginal microbiome, it feels like a cis vagina to partners who've been with cis women, and it can take a whole fucking HAND.

I just want to remind folks that the medical technology we have available is amazing, and that there are people and groups out there that have a vested interest in making sure you don't know that.

If you're on the fence don't listen to the propaganda. At the very least talk to a post op transfem before you decide.

Neopussies are the real deal and I just want as many folks as possible to know that.

[probablyasocialecologist]

[bruntalism]

[bruntalism]

[fatfangs]

eww dude keep your skinny fetish to yourself

[64mpg]

that’s not true. starts crying

[midnightssea]

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back

[quendergeer]

you'd think occasionally men would need to touch other men like this to manoeuvre them out of the way but it never happens

[internetgreatesthits]

[mono-red-menace]

[unknown-but-existing]

i feel like this is more funny

[nonaferatu]

This would have had me crucified on tumblr 10 years ago but maybe we are ready for this conversation now:

If you are a socially anxious person, you have to socialize. Your panic/anxiety attacks will only get worse and trigger more frequently if you constantly avoid contact with The Public. Not saying that you need to be a social butterfly- but there is a genuine problem with not being able to order your own meal at a restaurant. And it cannot be solved by always having someone else do it for you.

This is a PSA to about 3/4s of the Portland Youth populace

[nonaferatu]

everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.

[inthefallofasparrow]

Which of these is not a place in the UK?

Barrow-in-Furness

Kidderminster

Upper Slaughter

Swaddlingham

Braintree

Walton-on-the-Naze

Bury St Edmunds

Quedgeley

Skegness

Ashby-de-la-Zouch

Theedlethorpe All Saints

Lancing and Sompting

Voting ended onJul 31

[inthefallofasparrow]

Which of these is not a place in the UK?

Yarm

Strood

Diss

Chard

Slough

Tring

Looe

Clun

Wem

Eye

Sky

Thirsk

Remaining time: 11 hours 7 minutes

[inthefallofasparrow]

Which of these is not a place in the UK?

Ottery St Mary

Much Wenlock

Chipping Sodbury

Leighton Buzzard

Penistone

Cleobury Mortimer

St Just-in-Penwith

Ashworth-under-Lyne

Snaith and Cowick

Nuneaton

Cockermouth

Saltburn-By-The-Sea

Remaining time: 1 day 11 hours