Always Sleeping. Never Woken.

A gold medalist in the Sleeping Olympics.  I train pretty hardcore.

[balanced-breakfast-of-dirt]

[endangered-justice-seeker]

One of the most important things you can teach your kids is when and how to say no to authority figures.

[afro-evolutionary-astrology]

Direct Action; minor-friendly edition lmao

[mancydrew]

:/ i wish “bad guy” by billie eilish came out 7 years ago :(

[puncromancer]

explain

[mancydrew]

:)

[puncromancer]

[transpichu-remade-deactivated20]

[summercrane-deactivated20201109]

Visit Original Link

[giantlandsloth]

I’m so tired of me

[reasonandempathy]

Biden vs Sanders

[shitty-car-mods-daily]

Neat

[harlequinhatter]

change your FUCKING name

[quasi-normalcy]

Gonna get buried in a fuchsia plastic coffin.

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[t-ami]

I cannot stop watching this.

[nice-wig-janis]

I FINALLY FOUND IT

[figjams]

why do stores always say ‘gifts for her’??? who is she? why are millions of americans being encouraged to buy gifts for this entity? someone explain

[carolxdanvers]

we must appease Her

[drewbern]

Visit Original Link

[reginaldqueribundus]

Tumblr’s “adult content” ban is the social media equivalent of Kylo Ren firing 500 giant laser cannons at a ghost of Luke Skywalker

[reginaldqueribundus]

Bonus:

[pressuredrightnow]

porn bots:

[reginaldqueribundus]

can’t recall if I reblogged this version yet but this person’s addition just made it 1,000,000 times better

and homey, judging by the massive swarm of pornbots reblogging this post you are so right

[seitan-haku]

MEMEME! Versión Silent Hill 2 💗🤭

[apjvff]

shine bright like a bright thing

[art-woonz]

Art By IG: @aquasixio

Instagram: @artwoonz

[unpretty]

i love cutthroat kitchen but bingewatching makes it really stand out how often alton brown refers to himself as ‘daddy’ and makes contestants wear spreader bars

[dr-hollands-deactivated20190209]

I’m sorry what

[unpretty]

you heard me

[unpretty]

[elkian]

#I CAN’T BELIEVE I NOW KNOW WHERE TO BUY THE EXACT FETISH GEAR THEY USE ON MY FAVORITE COOKING SHOW

[fiskeorn-deactivated20180416]

@genericrevenge

[son-of-maglor]

OKAY BUT WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY USING SPREADER BARS ON A COOKING SHOW??!??! DOESNT THAT MAKE IT KINDA HARD TO COOK???!?

[unpretty]

kinda, yeah

[renthebarbarian]

@datas-vibrating-robot-dong this seems like your speed

[gregorydickens]

That logo looks familiar.

[unpretty]

WHAT

OH MY GOD

[sylveonce]

[paintmeahero]

We met Alton Brown at a show he did here - we paid the extra cash to meet him and get a blurry cellphone pic with him and have him sign a picture. He noticed my (male) companion’s pocket watch, and proceeded to order him to take it out of his pocket. It wasn’t obnoxious, it was in a Dom tone that brooked no argument. So he complied. When he found out it wasn’t wound, and so not working, he was deeply disappointed, and told him to do better next time. 

If this guy isn’t a Dom, I’ll eat that spreader bar.

[unpretty]

[merry-go-round-jailhouse]

[literaryreference]

The Peel is an offshoot of the Onion but honestly if someone told me this was real slam poetry I wouldn’t even question it