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#extradirty
Today's Document

pixel skylines
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⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ

Love Begins
Cosimo Galluzzi
trying on a metaphor

bliss lane

oozey mess

titsay
noise dept.

gracie abrams
occasionally subtle

blake kathryn
official daine visual archive
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

seen from Argentina
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seen from Germany
seen from Uruguay

seen from Venezuela
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seen from TĂźrkiye
seen from Germany
seen from Spain
seen from Iraq
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Argentina

seen from TĂźrkiye

seen from United Kingdom
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seen from Norway
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@ginger-biscuit
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I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.
Give yourself the treat before you start. I'm serious. And ideally during the task and afterwards too.
Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.
"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.
You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.
(Also read How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis)
I give my students a LOT of techniques for starting writing when it feels overwhelming or daunting, but one of them is exactly this: dopamine load BEFOREHAND. It may sound weird to people on tumblr dot com, but a lot of people seriously struggle with executive dysfunction when it comes to writing literally anything, to the extent that it can cause such symptoms as panic, depression, and AI chatbot use.
I usually suggest this technique as a "Reverse Pomodoro." In the original Pomodoro, you work for 25 minutes and then take a break for 5 minutes (the times vary, but that's the essential ratio). People with executive dysfunction often find this insurmountable, and they get even more frustrated, and then the task seems even more difficult. So instead, flip those times.
FIRST, spend 25 minutes doing something energizing and engaging that you like to do. Not scrolling social media passively, not watching tv, not napping. Try something like colouring, doing yoga, running/walking around the block, talking about your favourite tv show with someone in real time, playing with the dog or cat, making and eating a lovely sandwich, hula hooping, something active. Having a little treat absolutely falls in this category!
(on the subject of little treats: refusing yourself food until you do work is for fucking Puritans and you can be kinder to yourself)
Then, after 25 minutes (or however long it takes to eat the sandwich or finish the yoga routine, it doesn't have to be exact), spend 5 minutes writing (or doing whatever you're struggling to start). Most people can coax themselves into doing something they find difficult for five minutes, if they have already filled up the joy/energy/engagement bucket. You can put a timer on for the 5 minutes if you want, or if you find that annoying, just work for as long as you like.
The other key is: don't push yourself to keep going when you're frustrated or tiredâthat will just reinforce the negative belief that you already have, which tells you that this task is painful to do, and needs to be avoided. If you've commonly had to force yourself to do this kind of task, that's likely part of why you think of it as painful and have trouble starting it now. Also, you should just, at a basic level, try not to put yourself in pain for the sake of productivity. So just do it till the good feelings run out. Then start hula hooping or colouring again for another 25 minutes. When the tank's refilled, try another 5 minutes of work, if you can. Adjust times to taste.
Not every technique works for everyone, but I've seen this one work for many students who are genuinely and seriously disabled by executive dysfunction. And many people find themselves getting more and more excited and engaged in the "difficult" taskâbecause the good feelings from the hula hooping carry over, and because they're suddenly able to do the task without feeling pain, and feel accomplishment without feeling pain.
i really appreciate seeing all the posts on my dash recently to the effect of "shutting down conversations about race/gender/minorities in fandom spaces because 'fandom is meant to be fun' is just an excuse to not think critically about the bigoted behaviors you are exhibiting". i hope that this energy carries over into the gaming sphere next pleaaseee
pokemon is a series about building Your own team and going on Your own adventure with creatures that You collect and befriend, and is designed from the ground up to be personal and immersive. i have never been able to look like myself in a pokemon game. if i bought pokemon z a today and booted it up and tried to customize myself, i would not be able to look like myself. just fuck me i guess.
ok yay
I get in theory why people complain about het ships or whatever, I get wanting to watch queer media I really do, but I guess where yâall lose me is like. I saw some asshole on a post about Sinners complaining it was âhetslopââthis person was specifically doing so while also claiming Remmick was a queer character and thus they were justified in caring more about him than the Black protagonists. which is a whole other disgusting can of worms that has been well addressed by others at this point. but even in the absence of that part of the argument, like, no, i actually donât think that a hunger for queer stories is an especially good excuse to deride and dismiss a piece of landmark Black filmmaking, especially as a non-Black person. I have a post thatâs been going around encouraging folks to engage with more Native stories and characters, and I had someone come onto that post saying in the tags that theyâd need these stories to be queer in order to care. and I just think that, you know, sucks! like obviously as a queer Native I also want to see more of those stories too. but idk how else to put it other than to say that Black people and people of color shouldnât have to be like you in order for you to care about our narratives and experiences. and I think some of yâall are using this disdain for heterosexuality as a cover for your unexamined racial biases. itâs not okay to be racist to people just because those people happen to be straight, and you continue to be white before you are queer.
on an even more basic level than that, also, I simply just think some of yâall NEED to learn how to interact with media and storytelling without ships and fandom in mind. like if not being able to write fic about two men kissing is genuinely going to be a dealbreaker for you I think thatâs actually something you need to work on within yourself because at that point I think youâre no longer really interacting with art and themes and narrative so much as just kind of playing with toys. which is, like, fine I guess. have fun. but it wouldnât kill you to disengage from that from time to time. especially if would allow you to actually appreciate rich and deeply moving cultural stories from communities of color that you desperately need to learn how to see as human
Possibly my spiciest take is that it's actually good to have people you respect and like that have some dogshit takes.
I think part of what is making young people lonelier, in discussing why they're increasingly isolated, is that they're so afraid of meeting someone who doesn't hold their same beliefs, and instead of being just core beliefs it is kinda ancillary shit.
It's actually okay to disagree even on social topics! Even on some political ones! But I mean, online you can start with "i love this mutual but they have a really bad/uninformed opinion about x media"
I know this is IMMEDIATELY going to be taken in bad faith, and yes babygirl, you are so right, I DO want you to go make best friends with both the KKK grand wizard AND your nearest nazi leader.
But seriously, as someone who has spent two decades doing community organization: finding ways to connect with different people is so so so important. There are people i follow here who ate 80% smart and their brain falls out of their head 20% of the time and that is GOOD FOR MY MENTAL ECOSYSTEM AND GOOD FOR LEARNING HOW TO BE A PERSON
LET'S ALL GO PISS ON THE POOR
Itâs also good to assume you probably are the friend whose brain falls out 20% of the time.
We all have blind spots, assumptions, and dogshit take from time to time. They canât all be winners.
many of you just. genuinely donât believe that people can grow and change.
this is about the death penalty and its also about call out posts about people who have already apologized for things they did a long time ago and itâs also about using âtoxicâ or âabuserâ as if its an immutable class of person, and its also about any other circumstance with permanent consequences or wherein you assume someone is still the same person they were.
steps
many such cases
I just canât believe some of u are soooo young u didnât experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital
actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao
Thatâs because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest
I want to see the vampire who lives in this. I bet his name is Chad or Hunter.
And he's ready to crack open a boy with the cold ones.
Video caption: Good guy who talks like a bad guyÂ
âPerhaps youâd like to see my pets. They were ALL ⌠rescues.âÂ
âAnd as always, gentlemen, our profits will be ⌠donated.âÂ
âOh, I wish I could stay and chat, but Iâm afraid I have to take my friend to the airport.âÂ
Redeemed villain who canât let the speech pattern go
the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive
''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.
the more you twist yourself into a pretzel to avoid regret the harder it will hit when it eventually catches up to you.