Today, I was handed a sheet of paper with a question asking me how I would respond to Johnson’s situation wherein he is deciding on whether or not he should fly abroad to marry his partner, who is also a man. Sadly, my piece of advice for Johnson was not in the list of choices we could choose from. So, Johnson, here's what I really want to say to you.
Don't listen to me, or to anyone for that matter. If you ask me though, I would tell you to marry him if that's what you really want. If you ask me, I would tell you to go marry him and kiss the heck out of him if that's what you want to. I would tell you to marry him if he makes you happy like no one else can. I would tell you to marry him if he loves you and makes you feel loved. I would tell you to marry him if you see him as your best friend, who can understand you even at your worst. I would tell you to marry him if he sees how imperfect you are but still decides to love you in spite of all your flaws. I would tell you to marry him if he's the one who can make you feel complete, if he's the one who you want to wake up next to everyday, if you know that he's the one you can unconditionally love. But, don't listen to me.
Listen to your mind and your heart.
You are probably in the right state of mind to decide for yourself if you are already looking into having a marriage with someone. You are free enough to make your own choices and to live the life you would like to live. So if that means getting married to this man in some city in the United States of America, then go do it. I'm not stopping you, no one is stopping you. It's basically legal. So, go for it.
I'm only going to advise you to stop and think about it if you are unsure with what you feel, because it happens. There are times when doubts step into the picture and this, for me, is a big red flag. I am telling you this not because you are gay, but because marriage is a huge step and will definitely change your life. If you are having any second thoughts, maybe it’s just not the proper time to marry yet. It probably means you are not ready to give your 100% to this man who might not also be in the right state of mind to share a life with you. After marriage, you will no longer be individuals, but you will share one life, one soul. You will live in the same roof, maybe even start a family. After marriage, you will forever be the property of one another and if you cannot see yourself in the arms of this man forever, pause for a while and get to know each other more. Take your time and savor every moment you will spend with one another until you are certain that you are ready to give yourselves to each other.
But then again, who am I to stop you from marrying anyone, be it a man or a woman? Only you can decide for yourself. Listen to what your mind and heart will tell you, and follow it.
Best of luck, Johnson! I hope you have the time of your life with this man while you conquer the world together.
P.S. Major props to you for actually going as far as thinking about marrying this man. It takes a lot for people to even think about the possibility of marrying each other because of the immense amount of commitment marriage entails. The simple fact that you are considering marrying this man, and that you are possibly formulating your wedding vows in your head as we speak, it must mean you are serious about this relationship you have with him. Plus, the fact that we live in a world where tons of people have struggles accepting change, makes you all the more courageous. It must be difficult to go through every day life with your partner and to be glared at by those who are close-minded. It must be a challenge to openly express your love for one another without being called out for being “disgusting” or whatever insult they can come up with. It must be hard. But for you to even think about marriage, for you to even think about spending the rest of your life enduring the possible discrimination you will both face for deciding to be together forever, that makes you strong. And I commend you for this bravery you possess. Good luck again with all your endeavors, I wish you all the best. Be happy, live life, love.
This is my personal response. This is my answer. It may be "wrong" on paper, but this is the right response in my heart. Love is a wonderful thing that comes in various forms and no matter what happens, I will always believe in the beauty of this mystery that is love and no one can change that.