I'm (kinda) new here! I had a tumblr years ago, but fell off of it sometime around my senior year of high school. So, so long ago now, lol. I guess you could say I'm a transplant from Facebook and Instagram.
I'm looking to learn about stuff, I'm curious about a little bit of everything. I've been lurking for a while trying to learn how to use this app and figure out the local etiquette. So forgive me for any transgressions but please tell me if I mess something up or step on toes.
A bit about me, that no one asked for:
I'm a queer autistic with untreatable ADHD. I'm physically disabled to a degree as well.
I read tarot and have been a student of Hellenistic Astrology for a few years now. I'm hoping to specialize in the horary branch soon.
I'm not necessarily new to witchcraft, but due to something that happened a few years ago I'm slowly taking steps towards practicing once again in small ways.
I love art, although I am not one to create it much, I enjoy looking at it. If you're an artist, I wanna see your work!
I read a lot of psychology books and one of my favorite subjects is the mystery of consciousness.
I also read fantasy when I can tear away from my textbooks. I just finished the Kingkiller Chronicles (at least the two that have been released) and I'm still emotionally recovering from that, lol.
I hope to get to know you all! I love this community so far. The wealth of stories and information is overwhelmingly lovely.
It's nice to meet you! I hope you like the stuff I post :) and I hope I get a chance to learn something from all of you!
It's about damn time these fuckers learned that they don't get just parade around in their faux gestapo getups without someone showing them what's what.
It's amazing how quickly these wannabe tough guy fascists turn into sniveling snowflakes as soon as they are met with even a little resistance.
"I thought I could come in and harass queers and threaten to kill them in peace!"
You really thought people were going to just let you come in and spout your hateful nonsense without any backlash? The audacity! That's a lifetime of unchecked privilege at play. I'm sometimes afraid to even leave my house while existing as a trans woman, and you thought you could just gamet away with this?
doubling down into this witchcraft-as-RPG thing and I think I have a good point to make so here we go:
This is something I've been trying to speak on for a while and I feel like I've said similar recently but it's still on my mind, so,
the practitioner is a vital ingredient in witchcraft that you cannot remove from the equation,
and,
IMO a huge part of why spells and magic can feel hit-or-miss is because you aren't the same person as the guy who developed the spell,
and what works for them might not work for you at all.
And no, I don't necessarily mean sensory/belief/meaning stuff. Because a lot of the time we see people say stuff like this:
"Spells that call for long periods of focus and attention don't work for me because I can't focus." (valid)
Or for example, someone might say this:
"Due to my upbringing I strongly associate the color green with envy, weakness, and spite, so I can't do a money spell that uses the color green." (valid)
But that kind of thing isn't what I mean.
If you like, envision a witch as being an RPG character that has their own skill tree. (RPG metaphors are so convenient)
So let's take one witch who has heavily invested in spiritual elemental magic. This witch has dedicated time and energy to studying elemental magic. They have initiated under the Elemental Guardians. All of their spells are built around an elemental framework. They maintain offering shrines for elementals. Their spiritual calendar is based around honoring the cycle of elements within the seasons.
Like, this witch min/maxed their spiritual elemental magic. They've unlocked that entire skill tree.
And skills within that skill tree include things like:
Skill Unlocked: [Fire Elementals Appear When Called For]
Achievement Unlocked: [Elemental Fire Favors You]
Achievement Unlocked: [Initiated Under King of Fire]
Achievement Unlocked: [Your Spells Are Welcomed on Roads of Fire]
Okay, so. This person starts sharing "witch tips" and spells publicly. Like this:
"Hey, guys! This is an incredibly powerful banishing spell that uses nothing but a candle and visualizing fire burning away your problem. When I do it I can make people move across the country!"
Let me ask you this:
How is that spell going to work for someone who's spiritual elemental magic skill tree looks like this?
Skill Locked: [Fire Elementals Appear When Called For]
Achievement Hidden: [...]
Achievement Hidden: [...]
Achievement Hidden: [...]
Skill Hidden: [...]
Recently I was working with some lovely and very naturally talented practitioners who were going through a bit of a spirit problem. As is normal, they began to feel like their spirit problem might be insurmountable - that they were beset by a spirit of immense power that could not be gotten rid of.
What was one reason they felt nothing they did worked?
They followed a valid, authentic spell format written by a very serious, deeply initiated practitioner - and this initiated practitioner said the spell should last for months.
For these naturally talented practitioners who had never before worked with those powers or received any of those initiations...
the spell only lasted for weeks.
So naturally, that means this spirit is not able to be defeated even by the most powerful spells, right?
(wrong)
The practitioner is a vital ingredient in witchcraft that you cannot remove from the equation.
Or, in other words,
Just because you vibe with a spell, you like the correspondences, and you like the technique, doesn't mean you've unlocked the skills necessary to perform that spell!
Which, in my opinion, is some
Goddamn good news
Because if all this is true, then it would imply things like:
Sorcerous talent is something that can be developed and it stays with you (barring sudden class change, of course).
Hey, there's a reason spells feel hit-or-miss, random, or work more poorly than expected - and that reason can be fixed!
When I want to "practice" my path, but I have nothing to cast on, instead I can explore and develop relationships, techniques, and knowledge within my chosen area of interest.
When I gain an understanding about my own character sheet place in my path, it will give me a greater ability to craft and modify spells to specially work for me.
When I examine the techniques and spells given by others, I will gain an understanding not of whether or not I like their work, but whether or not it will work for me.
So the next time you cast a spell and you feel any part of it fall flat, or you didn't feel what you expected to feel, consider that it might be because you didn't unlock all the skills needed to cast that specific spell.
Sure, there are some cool cats out there who can gain miracle-like success in almost any spell all the time and they don't have to work for it.
But that's not me! And chances are, that's not you, either. So treat thaumaturgy as a skill to be improved upon, why not? Explore foundational, supportive, and adjacent magical techniques, why not? After all, everyone likes unlocking achievements.
this is going to sound crazy but people who are like “I’m afraid to buy secondhand clothes or get furniture off the street because bedbugs 🥺” are so weak. just seal it in a trash bag and leave it somewhere for 30 days. one time I got an 82 year old Madame Alexander doll with carpet beetles eating her hair and I zip-locked her in a bag to kill then and I forgot so I found her months later in my closet wrapped in plastic like Laura Palmer. anyway, thrifting and antique hunting isn’t for wimps so either grow up or stop doing it.
Sometimes you’re going to have to disinfect things. Sometimes there will be ominous mysterious stains on secondhand furniture, clothing, handbags, toys etc. Sometimes you will have to scrub disgusting mystery gunk from your new dishes. Sometimes you will find a 60 year old cough drop melted into the pocket of your vintage fur coat and you’ll never be able to get it out.
Before the Barneys left for France, Alice Barney had her daughter’s portrait painted. Natalie remembered playing at being a page (boy attendant who carries messages) with one particularly pretty girl at school, who began to call Natalie her husband.
Natalie spent her teenage years in Washington D.C., at a home that Alice, an architect as well as a painter, had designed. Natalie often spent time with one of Vice President's daughters, riding their horses. Like most teenagers, the two talked about their crushes. Natalie’s friend favored “Lady C.,” a fancy debutante who the two friends sometimes saw in the streets of Washington. Natalie shared stories of Eva Palmer, her first true love. (Like almost all of Natalie’s future romantic matches, Eva had a penchant for poetry. The two began dating when Natalie was seventeen. )
“Even after I had come out I continued to send flowers, notes and poems to those I admired.”
(Natalie meant that she was “coming out” into society, as a young woman did when she reached an age that made her eligible for marriage. So although she was forced to “come out” into society in the historic context, Natalie also continued to “come out” in the modern context, courting the women she desired.)
It was in fact on a date with in Paris that she first saw Liane de Pougy drive by. Natalie’s date told her “She is nothing but a courtesan,” but Natalie was smitten and began sending flowers, eventually showing up at Pougy’s door in a recently acquired page costume. Natalie wanted to “save” Liane, even offering to marry a man to acquire the funding necessary to keep Liane from needing to do sex work. But Liane did not want to be saved.
Liane chronicled the couple’s journey in her book Idylle Sapphique. Barney wrote a less popular reply volume, which included her most famous quote:
“My queerness is not a vice, is not deliberate, and harms no one.”
In her return to Paris, her childhood friends introduced her to Renée Vivien, “who also wrote poetry,” and was also an out lesbian. Renée and Natalie fell in love, but later broke up due to Natalie’s desire for non-monogamy. Natalie was crushed, but never won Renée back.
While dating Renée, Natalie also began her long career as a writer, publishing her first book of poetry, including poetry dedicated to the women that Natalie loved and illustrations drawn by her mother. (Historians have speculated as to whether or not Alice Pike Barney understood the themes in her daughter’s writing, but she happily illustrated the book.)
In 1902, Natalie used her inheritance to open a long serving salon in her backyard on Rue de Jacob in Paris. Many of the great writers of the time gathered at Natalie’s salons each Friday, including Gertrude Stein, Colette, Ezra Pound, TS Eliot, F Scott Fitzgerald, Isadora Duncan, and later Truman Capote.
In 1927, when the Academie Francaise refused to add women to its ranks, Barney began her own "L'Académie des Femmes" (Women's Academy).
Her large garden featured a neoclassical temple inscribed on its pediment “A L’AMITIE” (to friendship). That amitié is a feminine noun made this motto especially appropriate to the rituals honoring female deities that Barney staged as part of her effort to re-create a circle of creative women lovers like the one she believed flourished around Sappho.
Acting on an Aesthetic determination to, in her words,
“find or found . . . a society composed of all those who seek to focus and improve their lives through an art that can give them pure presence,”
Barney created a community characterized by all the hallmarks of Aestheticism: eccentric elegance in dress, meticulous interior decor, love of erudite poetry, cultivation of wit, and indulgence in sensations beyond the bounds of conventional morality.
One of the attendees of Natalie’s salons was Radclyffe Hall, who later based a fictional character, Valerie Seymour, on Natalie Clifford Barney.
“For Valerie, placid and self-assured, created an atmosphere of courage, everyone felt normal and brave when they gathered together at Valerie Seymour’s….a kind of lighthouse in a storm-swept ocean.”
During World War I, many salons turned into war hospitals, but Natalie Clifford Barney was a pacifist and refused to support the war effort. Her salon continued.
During this time she began one of her longest lasting romantic relationships, with artist Romaine Brooks. Brooks accepted Barney’s need for an open relationship, so their romance lasted over fifty years.
During World War II, Natalie and Romaine lived together in Italy. Natalie was openly anti-fascist before the war, but her writing turned pro-fascist and anti-Semitic as the war raged on. Some have since claimed that she believed what she was writing, but it is equally possible that she was just trying to survive. It is believed that Barney was able to use her American citizenship to help save some Jewish neighbors from deportation to German camps. She never published her pro-fascist and anti-Semitic writings.
After the war, Barney came back to Paris and reopened her salon in 1949. Romaine Brooks remained in Italy, straining their relationship, but never ending Natalie’s affections
It was perhaps Romaine who offered the best descriptions of Natalie Clifford Barney over the years. Brooks was honest and unforgiving, but also gentle and adoring, saying Natalie was
“Perverse…dissolute, self-centered, unfair, stubborn, sometimes miserly, ” but also “…capable of loving someone just as they are, even a thief…”
“Natalie herself was a miracle…as fresh as a Spring morning….Her rebellion against conventions was not combative as was mine. She simply wanted to follow her own inclinations…”
As she wrote in her Pensee’s d’une Amazone
"Yes, you have to 'comply.'/I never complied and yet I am."
Do you consider yourself an idle person?
"I think one must be idle in order to become oneself.
If you have a profession you become part of that profession and it seems to me that's the idlest thing of all [laughs].
Because you'll become a function instead of a free-thinking individual.
Find out who you are and what you are and what other people are."
Some of the greatest writers and artists one can say of the century have placed your genius for friendship, these friendships through the virtue you value most.
"I think it's the most lasting and the most free of passing emotions.
I've lied that I've never given up by friends. They give me up but I never give them up. A sense of loyalty and of choice."
Reed, Christopher. Art and Homosexuality. Oxford University Press, USA, 2011.
“Amazon, Empress, and Friend: The Life of Natalie Clifford Barney | Ohio History Connection.” Home | Ohio History Connection, https://www.ohiohistory.org/learn/collections/history/history-blog/march-2020/nataliecliffordbarney. Accessed 27 Nov. 2021.
BBC interview with Natalie Clifford Barney. Filmed in 1966.
lmao on the edinburgh zoo site it says “there is a daily penguin parade at 14:15 but it may be cancelled last minute as it is a voulntary parade, we do not coax the penguins with food, and they may not want to go out” lmao anarchopenguinism
I feel like the world needs to know the context of the edinburgh zoo penguin parade, becausr I’ve been going there my entire life and I only found out about this the other year.
So a while back (I can’t remember exactly when but I think it was some time around the 40s/50s), a bunch of penguins escaped. A keeper left the gate open so a bunch of penguins just… followed them. And the people loved it. Look at these adorable birds outside their cage just following that guy around! So they get all the penguins back inside and realise that none of them really ran off, they just followed the keeper and went back inside and crowd thought it was amazing, so why not make it a regular thing? Get enough people there that if one of them goes to make a run for it (which at least one has in the past), they can’t get past the people, and let the ones who want outside have a little wander. So every day, they get a crowd, they open the gate, and whatever penguins want to get out can go, waddle about, squawk at people, and then hop back inside.
Also, one of those penguins is Brigadier Sir Nils Olaf III, Colonel-in-cheif of the Norwegian King’s Guard. This isn’t really related to the parade at all, I just love the fact that there’s a penguin in the Norwegian army
A lovely older friend of mine lived in Edinburgh when she was a small child, and regularly attended the penguin parade – as a penguin. That is, she was a small toddler and thus about the right height and speed, and she just waddled along with everyone else who was about 2’ high.
So the answer to ‘can I volunteer to be a penguin’ is at least occasionally ‘yes.’
This work, not widely known, is called “Sfumato,” painted in 1972. Dali developed a new technique here, where he embellished the image after first taking paper and scorching and smoking it with a candle
When Edward Wilson was seven years old, he suffered a fishing accident that blinded his right eye and left him with permanent 20/10 vision. Young Edward had lost his stereoscopic vision, and as a result he had a much easier time seeing small, close objects than he did things far away. Because he could see them better than anything else, Edward began to really focus on the little things around him. He became fascinated with the ants and butterflies that other kids failed to notice. This fascination for those little things eventually led to Wilson becoming the worlds leading expert in myrmecology, or the study of ants. He’s also been called “The 21st century Darwin” for his vast influence on the field of biology and it’s hard to even articulate how much he has done for the sciences in his lifetime.
Joan Procter had a chronic illness that often kept her home from school, where she would spend her time with her many pet reptiles. Unable to attend college due to her illness, she studied herpetology from her home and cultivated her knowledge of reptiles to the point where she became THE expert in reptile husbandry. She knew her shit so well that she (a disabled woman in 1923!) was named curator of reptiles at the London Zoo, where her work revolutionized the field of herpetology. If you’re like me and head straight to the reptile house as soon as you get to any zoo, you can thank our patron saint of lizards Joan Procter for building the science that made captive reptile exhibits possible!
Jack Horner had tremendous trouble in school as a kid, and he was eventually diagnosed with dyslexia as an adult. Although he had enrolled in college to study paleontology, he was unable to finish his undergraduate studies due to his struggles with dyslexia. However, Horner credits his dyslexia with giving him the superior spatial skills and uncanny grasp on “big-picture” concepts that allowed him to pursue his own path to eventually become one of the most famous paleontologists on the planet. He was the inspiration for the character Alan Grant in Jurassic Park! I was also a dyslexic dino-obsessed kid and my mom blew my mind by telling me the story of Jack Horner when we watched Jurassic park together. Certainly, my dyslexia has made graduate school immensely challenging, but it’s also given me a slightly different perspective on biology and medicine that I’ve really come to value.
This is all to say that no matter what your disability looks like, there is not only ample room for you in the field of biology, but also a desperate need for your unique perspective and abilities. Millions of human minds thinking and seeing in different ways is what has been turning the wheels of science for hundreds of years, and that’s why it’s just baffling to me that anyone would try to deny those with different perspectives a seat at the table.
While snakes can sit still a very long time, this is some kind of hair algae (not moss!) many species of which grow in n fast moving streams, so the snake could have been fairly active and still grow an algae coat, which it will lose next time it sheds or if environmental conditions (like seasonal temps) change too much for this algae's liking :)
"The One Spirit Team has been working tirelessly to help as many families on the Rez as possible through this intense winter season. Road conditions are making it near impossible to distribute firewood and food. Many homes are without power or a reliable and safe heat source.
Any donations received at this time will be used to purchase firewood, supplies, and food to take care of those critically in need."
Donations can be made here:
Donate — One Spirit
Donations to Oglala Re-Member organization, which also assists people living in the Pine Ridge Reservation, can be made here:
Donate money, goods, or time to Re-Member and help Pine Ridge Reservation.
I've been watching a lot of Bluey lately and I've seen some posts and tik toks that have been a bit concerned with the number of adult fans of the show and worried that it might be something like bronies who pushed out the target audience of young girls and made the entire atmosphere surrounding the show very toxic and inappropriate, but surprisingly the comparison hadn't even occurred to me until someone else brought it up because of the sheer fact that it's very clear in the writing of the show that it is for adults. Parents, specifically, but it's not an unexpected secondary audience that the show has captured. It's meant for adults in a way things like mlp just never was.
Most kids shows are written for kids with enough there for their parents to enjoy watching it as well. Bluey seems very much like a show for parents that has enough there that the kids enjoy it too.
Don't get me wrong, it's a kids show. I'm not saying that's not the target demographic. But the writing is for the parents. I don't mean that in a "oh there's innuendo" way or something like that. It's that each episode can be broken down into a moral and a lesson. The moral of every episode, which is generally very simple andusually outright stated in the first minute of the episode, is clearly for kids. And, to a kid watching, that might seem like what the plot revolves around. It's what the kids learn.
But the true plot of the episode generally actually revolves around the lesson, which is generally far more complicated and intended for the parents.
For example, a moral may be "it's okay to be small!" But the lesson is "kids can't always tell when they're unintentionally excluding a friend. They don't mean to be. They just don't know how to adapt what they're doing to fit what the other kid can and can't do and they're too young to have the emotional recognition skills to realize how much it hurts the kid who feels excluded. As a parent, it's your job to notice these things and encourage including all of the kids in a way that's fun. It's better to help them learn the moral than just to tell them."
Or one moral was "don't hog! Take turns fairly!" but the lesson was "when you aren't parenting as a unit, you build resentment and you undermine your partner's authority with the kids. Don't fall into partiarchal ideas that your husband just "can't handle" the kids. It's not fair to either of you. He wants to parent, too, and he's perfectly capable of it. And you need to be able to rely on him if you aren't able to be there to solve a problem. Parenting is a team activity and the most important thing you can do is make sure your expectations are communicated constantly and that you work together."
And it's not always something deep, just clearly there for the parents. Like, one moral is "sometimes all you can do about something or someone that's bothering you is ignore them." While the lesson is "you know that one bit your spouse does that you can't STAND but the kids love but you still really want to get rid of because it's so annoying? Yeah that's not going anywhere. This is your life now. Begin the process of accepting this"
These aren't little innuendo or jokes thrown in to keep parents from getting bored. They're the meat of the episode. Of course there's always reason for concern that the unintented audience of a show will begin to push out the intended one, especially in shows meant for kids, but the question of "is it inherently strange that adults are enjoying Bluey?" seems like a silly one. The show wouldn't be succeeding at what it's clearly trying to, if they weren't.
Dad, hearing me listen to my folk playlist: I thought ya hated country music huh?
Me: This ain't country.
Dad, thinking he's winning: OH YEAH? Then what's this huh?
Me: Folk music. Ya know, stuff that actually tells a story and makes ya wanna dance. Your "country music" is just propaganda and depression with a little bass.
There is witchcraft in small things. In boiling something long enough to make it edible. In tying enough knots in a yarn to make a garment. In putting a seed into the dirt until it becomes a flower.
See @headspace-hotel and @elodieunderglass's post about how boycotting isn't enough. Reverse consumerism, reject over-production, spread information, vote in laws that limit the way companies like this can operate. Don't take your business to the next fast fashion store, take it to the consignment shop or clothing swap, where fast fashion doesn't profit off it at all.
I’ve got ten minutes, I want to talk about what you said here about alternatives to fast fashion.
Someone had a predictable go at me for being a hypocrite and class traitor in that post, because I mentioned that boycotting, while structurally ineffective to change the economic situation, is still good moral practice; I briefly noted that our household personally doesn’t buy fast fashion. (If you don’t say that sort of thing regularly and mechanically, it instantly becomes “elodie discourages people from boycotts in order to feel better about their own closet full of sweatshop clothes.”)
the inverse gotcha is of course, “if you don’t buy fast fashion, then you hate poor people, and don’t understand what it’s like to be poor and have no clothing options!” And this is what the person told me - that I’m malicious for not buying cheap things like a comrade, and that having a two-part stance on boycotts is violently hypocritical.
However, the next move in the chess game is for me to reply, “oh, sometimes I DO wish I could the sort of disposable income to afford fast fashion at all! But regrettably, I can’t - I just can’t justify £12.99 plus shipping for a single new top - so all of my clothes are secondhand from thrift stores, eBay or clothes swaps with the eco group. It would be nice to have fast fashion money! Is it nice?”
The alternatives mentioned above (swapping, buying secondhand, and caring less about keeping up with changing fashion) are the time-honoured traditional most efficient methods of getting dressed on a budget. They are the methods still practiced today by everyone that Shein doesn’t want - namely: men, elderly people, the uncool, large portions of low-income people, the crunchy crowd, people with small children, people with bodies that aren’t small straight rectangles, people without addresses, people with other things on their minds, frugal people, bargain hunters, and so on. The crunchy uncool old broke parents like me are not spending thousands of money on Rich People Ethical brands, nor are we spending much time optimising our online shopping baskets for the free shipping discount. No, we are all parsimoniously sharing the same five boxy, hideous Lucy and Yak fleeces in an endless circle at the clothing swap, like the three old women sharing one eyeball - and we’re only doing that because the eco group provides free tea - and Shein does not bother making clothes for us, and the people playing Tumblr gotcha games are unaware that people like us even exist, let alone are common in real life. Thus we reveal that fast fashion discourse gotchas are really just a set of rules that allow coolish youngish women to pick holes in each other - a form of rock/paper/scissors to establish bullying rights, which involves all players mutually forgetting the existence of uncool old people, secondhand items, and men.
In conclusion, you’re absolutely correct, these alternatives to fast fashion exist, are widely used, and are cheaper. The secondhand economy is cheaper than fast fashion. Swapping stuff is cheaper than fast fashion. Wearing “uncool” stuff is cheaper than buying fast fashion. Changing what makes stuff “cool” - i.e. wearing the stuff you have with confidence and panache, and sneering at the idea that you need to buy what other people tell you - is cheaper and more efficient than changing your wardrobe. This is a boycott people can practice without spending money. Oh my goodness.
So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.
She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.
So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.
Arrival:
So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”
Retrieval:
So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.
Delivery:
So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.
