Greenwhistler

LOTR plus miscellany Any pronouns | agender | bi | exmo Yes, I’ve somehow been here over a decade No I cannot whistle

[lovespreadsroses]

https://www.thecut.com/2018/11/im-broke-and-friendless-and-ive-wasted-my-whole-life.html

[if-i-was-a-wyrm]

sonce the sports are happening big rn where i live i made a handy chart of all the phrases i use to communicate with my loved ones during these trying times. i thought others might find it useful too

ive discovered you can have whole conversations with people using just these phrases and none will be any the wiser that you dont even know what sport it is theyre talking about

[kellkyy]

Missing items

[bunkey]

notice how everyone is horny today

[bunkey]

[fairycosmos]

good morning to the beaten and the damned only

[beansfrombeans]

[kalichnikov]

“Terf is a slur used to silence us” dang bitch I wish it worked shut the fuck up

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

you're not making enough of stone fruit season. that's another thing you're fucking up. a few dozen stone fruit seasons you get your whole life. you need to take a hard look at your peach and mango consumption.

[tail-feathers]

Maynard Dixon

Clouds and Prairie

1921

[stagbeetleboy]

It would be funny if we were introduced to a vast galaxy of alien life and the blue whale was still the largest animal ever discovered. Like that’s the biggest life has ever gotten. That would be fucked. The blue whale is just the craziest animals would get even with the introduction of a seemingly infinite number of new species. Would you be disappointed or celebrate the enormity of our homegrown big ass creature?

[papayajuan2019]

i wish music was real

[icedteadrinker]

Limmy deleted best tweet of all time I'm so mad

[wispstalk]

if ur gonna be pressed into service by your liege lord, u want to be the swiftest rider. get good at horses, because they're always sending the swiftest rider off to do some other shit that is, crucially, away from the battlefield. I'm telling u. when ur forces are outnumbered and the enemy legions show up with some unexpected advantage, someone in command is gonna say, "send the swiftest rider to alert the queen!!!" that's u. u want to be that guy

[insistings]

thought of them

[evilscientist3]

i swear if the wizard doesnt let me out of his abandoned salt mine soon im gonna fucking LOSE IT

[ttechniic]

what did you do to be put into the salt mine

[evilscientist3]

i MAY have eaten his special wizard meal. but i think he should let me out tbh

[ttechniic]

was it good? was it worth it? are you able to bear the weight of your sin?

[evilscientist3]

im not gonna lie it was fucking delicious i would fucking do it again. wait shit youre the fucking wizard in disguise seeing if ive learned my lesson arent you. fuck.

[ttechniic]

10 YEARS IN THE ABANDONED SALT MINE.

[siderealglimmer]

[sobcat]

let's wrap this decade up. 2030 I'm ready

[papayajuan2019]

going to the choices made in anger market. what do you guys want

[bedupolker]

incredibly minor but still dumb side effect of late stage capitalism: ever notice how so many concert venues and stadiums just have the lamest names imaginable. Like ooooh Lady Gaga is playing at the..... Mortgage Stadium? Oh boy the finals are at the.... Chase Bank arena. Can't wait to catch a game at the Garunteed Rate field.