Epsy Ass

[brattylikestoeat]

[queenqueso]

[catasters]

[ren-054]

woa h !

[beardedmrbean]

[auntierayeraye]

[dorothylarouge]

US Presidents as Dril Tweets

George Washington: another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

John Adams: "ah boo hoo hoo i want to post Foul comments to content leaders" Fat Chance, Dimwit. I will annihilate you under bulwark of the Law and God.

Thomas Jefferson: Q: If your post was proven by a counsil of wise men to be racist, or bullshit, would you bar it from the record? A: I do not delete my posts

James Madison: (sniffing a crumpled up one dollar bill i found on the floor of a dog kennel) ah.. thats greenbacks baby

James Monroe: for decades i have traversed the unforgiving mountains and rivers of south america, hoping to catch a glimpse of the fabled "ass downloader"

John Quincy Adams: "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

Andrew Jackson: handing Faves over to my enemies is FRAUD !! base, contemptible FRAUD!

Martin Van Buren: Food $200

Data $150

Rent $800

Candles $3,600

Utility $150

someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

William Henry Harrison: (spends all of 7 seconds skimming some blog posts) yep. just as i knew all along. having pnuamonia is good

John Tyler: fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this

James K. Polk: thhere is no such thing as charisma, and art is fake. the only metrics by which we must determine the worth of a man are Strength and Wisdom

Zachary Taylor: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers tell me that im dying

Millard Fillmore: trying to heal..... please donate to my go fund me... $10 will make me less racist... $100 will make me extremely less racist...thank you...

Franklin Pierce: blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin

James Buchanan: #NationalGirlfriendDay please cherish your gal's.. in honor of us, the single Boys who must sacrifice all companionship to #CarryTheBrand...

Abraham Lincoln: unloading an entire belt of ammo at me with a minigun or some such device will now get you "Blocked"

Andrew Johnson: who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off

Ulysses S. Grant: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT

Rutherford B. Hayes: using the toilet when i hear Our national anthem start to play. i do what i must. i stand tall in complete agony; as shit runs down my leg,

James A. Garfield: too much truth in such little time. feeling the heat cominh down to silence me... signing off........ for now

Chester A. Arthur: i WILL wise the fuck up. i WILL super charge my content for 2017. i WILL get blue check mark

Grover Cleveland: the way i see it, people who come on here and submit content that is not up to par, could possibly be considered the "Villains" of this site

Benjamin Harrison: i help every body, im not racist, i keep myself nice, and when i ask for a single re-tweet in return i am told to fuck off, fuck myself, etc

William McKinley: boy oh boy do i love purchasing large amounnts of Fool's Gold. wait a minute... fools gold fucking sucks. this stuff is no good..!! Fuck !!!

Theodore Roosevelt: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL

William H. Taft: ah.. the perfect Souffle! cant wait to dig in to t(*EVERY PIPE IN MY HOUSE EXPLODES AT THE SAME TIME, COVERING ME IN SHIT AND BOILING WATER*

Woodrow Wilson: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. "war is the most fucked up thing ever." he takes a sip of beer

Warren G. Harding: somebody please Bribe me

Calvin Coolidge: aggressively joyless oaf hhere. painfully obnoxious respect demander checkign in. extremely dim witted frowning man looking for pals

Herbert Hoover: it is really quite astonishing that I have yet to win The Lottery, given how good I am at selecting six numbers and saying them out loud

Franklin D. Roosevelt: ive never heard of this “europe” but it sounds like a big bunch of shit to me

Harry Truman: everybody wants to be the guy to write the tweet that solves racism once and for all because it would look good as hell on a resume

Dwight D. Eisenhower: my "F*&k It!! Let's Go Golfin" t-shirt maintains a tenacious stranglehold on my life. after 1,125 days of Golf my body is twisted, deformed

John F. Kennedy: when you do sutuff like... shoot my jaw clean off of my face with a sniper rifle, it mostly reflects poorly on your self

Lyndon B. Johnson: incredibly handsome , charismatic famous boy credited with ending income inequality after saying that slumlords should be called "dumblords"

Richard Nixon: i attribute the complete failure of my brand to the actions of detractors, oor my “trolls”, as it were, as well as my own constant fuckups

Gerald Ford: shutting computer down until the shitty moods & attitudes can fuck off., if you need me ill be on my other computer, sititng 60° to my right

Jimmy Carter: i warnned you all that bad things would happen if you kept letting your wives wear jeans. AND NOW LOOK! the damn gas prices are up again

Ronald Reagan: spend a lot of time thinking about how sometimes even war criminals can be heroes sometimes... Dont like it? Click the unfollow buttobn

George H.W. Bush: just thought off an idea i believe to be bad ass. lets find the address of the leader of isis, and mail him/ her pieces of our SHIT

Bill Clinton: were at the point now, that when i offer to impregnate my girl followers, people assume my motives are sexual. disgusting, grow the fuck up,

George W. Bush: friday night gathering up together a big pile of things i like to respect (flags, crucifixes ,etc) and just roll around in it ,give kisses,

Barack Obama: my IQ has increased 10 points ever since i stopped tollerating people mucking about, on the time line

Donald Trump: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset.

ME: I agree

Joe Biden: I will shut the fuck up , IF , it will restore the Harmony. I will get on my knees like a dog and make that sacrifice, for the sake of Calm

[twinflamedreams]

[nadianotapplicable]

doing my own noah's ark lemme know what animals i should include

[lucatielsgirlfriend-deactivated]

aardvark

[lucatielsgirlfriend-deactivated]

ant

[lucatielsgirlfriend-deactivated]

anteater (to keep them humble)

[lucatielsgirlfriend-deactivated]

i have lots more suggestions if youre interested

[lucatielsgirlfriend-deactivated]

[zmpl]

woahhh trick or treat

you get: japanese roleplaying game

[skimble-shanks-the-railway-cat]

Receiving a Werther’s Derivative from my poser grandma

[variegated-fairywren]

hey girl is that a piece of chalk in your pants or is yuor penis just a rectangular prism that crumbles easily into a fine powder

[cpericardium]

Everyone has the "math friend"

[cpericardium]

by this i mean the math major you use as a calculator to check your basic arithmetic

[girlnephew]

[ryanthedemiguy]

I don't think this is possible????

[physicallyimprobable]

Hello Ryan I am here to help. So the first step is pretty easy: Three cheeseburgers are worth 18, so each one is worth 6. If these are dollars, that's a steal!

From the second equation we get that cheeseburger plus fries-squared is five. Subtracting cheeseburger, which is six, from both sides, we get that fries-squared is negative-one. Math fans will know that there are two solutions to this; either fries are the "imaginary unit" 𝒾 or they are its negative, -𝒾. We'll do the rest of the problem with 𝒾, keeping in mind that at the end we should also take the complex conjugates as solutions.

Finally, we have that cup to the power of fries, minus cup, equals three. Replacing fries with 𝒾, and moving a cup to the other side, we get that cup-to-the-𝒾 is equal to cup-plus-three.

Now, the weird part about this is the cup-to-the-i. The problem with this is that complex exponentiation is technically not a thing. That is to say, there is no one function which is mathematically equal to "input-to-the-power-of-𝒾". In fact, there are infinitely many such functions.

Fortunately, due to reasons that take about six pages to explain (trust me I've done it), there is one particular function that many people have agreed is "the most reasonable one". This is not a mathematical notion, but a human preference. Seeing as this question was presumably written by a human, I am comfortable with using this function.

So, what function is this? Well, given a complex number r∠θ written in polar form (if you don't know what that means don't worry), where -π < θ ≤ π, then (r∠θ)^𝒾 = e^(-θ)∠ln(r).

Applying this to our problem a value r∠θ will be a possible solution for cup if e^(-θ)∠ln(r) = r∠θ + 3. Splitting this into real and imaginary parts, we get two equations: e^(-θ) cos(ln(r)) = r cos(θ) + 3 and e^(-θ) sin(ln(r)) = r sin(θ). We can graph these equations on Desmos:

The possible values of cup are the intersections between the red, green, and purple. There are infinitely many of these which have an angle of around -π/3, and there are two weirdos: One which is a complex number very close to -2.98, and one which is somewhere around -25. The possible values for cup are all of these infinitely many solutions, and also all of their complex conjugates.

[sharkgirldick]

They were right, 99% of people can't solve it.

[sacred-portal]

[iraqnroll-deactivated20241123]

[manycrows]

[towerofglass]

[tinytimism]

gatsby is just as unattainable to nick as daisy is to gatsby. nick has explored gatsby’s body and learned all his secrets more times than they are stars in the sky but only in his mind.

[monkey-overalls]

[overwelmd]

ren-o-graphics