Untitled

26 m

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

[catchymemes]

[brucesterling]

[colemckenzies]

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

[ggiornojo]

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

[colemckenzies]

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

[animatedamerican]

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

[nentuaby]

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

[animatedamerican]

… huh.  I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

[thepioden]

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

[rooksandravens]

Is it a glitch or a feature?

[cranberrybogmummy]

Feature

[s-peak-in-tongue-s]

this neat feature is called collocative substitution, and it occurs when certain words are strongly linked to certain context and/or phrases. when you read/hear a pair of words that usually wouldn’t go together, your brain fills in the context with what would normally be inferred, given the originally phrased pairing. thus, finding out that there’s a term for this phenomenon may indeed leave you utterly sandwiched. lesser known or less strongly linked phrases and pairings may not be able to translate substituted words to appropriately fit the inferred context, so you were not utterly floorboarded at the club last night, but rather you were absolutely floorboarded, and as this explanation continues to drag on, you may by the end of it find yourself completely coathangered from read it all.

[lizawithazed]

I, like all linguists I have met or even heard of, have a deep intricate love-hate relationship with the English Language because of complete and total coathangering like this

[teratocybernetics]

@jellyfishdirigible you may have refound this already but

[logarto]

entranced recently not by “i can fix him” or “i can make him worse” but the “something deeply wrong with him and i want to be around as like a spectator when the car crash inevitably happens” dynamic

[impiousphyrne-deactivated202402]

[demonladytakkuri]

Hope people who know nothing about death note understand the human boy is the deeply unhinged one in this duo.

[elmyra-is-tired]

ryuk knew from the beginning too

[r0zeclawz]

casts a little spell that materializes a blunt on the hand of every affected creature in a large aoe

[necromancelena]

[randomitemdrop]

Spell: Mass Conjure Blunt

[savethelifeofmychild]

do drugs jack off kill yourself then wake up in the morning and have a cup of cawfie n eat some cigarettes

[slipping-into-madness]

[tearsinthemist]

And

they’re still doing it.

[penrosesun]

“Well if women tried to oppressively control men’s reproductive choices–”

I’m going to stop you right there. I’m a man. I have a uterus. On June 24, 2022, Amy Coney Barrett, who as far as I know is a woman, ruled that I, a man, do not have a constitutional right to privacy in that uterus. 

This isn’t some gotcha hypothetical. Women in power do oppressively control many men’s reproductive choices. There are women who are literally oppressively regulating men’s reproductive choices right now, in the literal current abortion fight. And that’s without even getting into the many important and related reproductive rights issues besides abortion, such as the forced sterilization of men on the basis of race, class, or disability.

For fuck’s sake, stop pretending this issue is men versus women. It’s not. It’s a far right wing agenda versus everyone who values bodily autonomy of any kind.

[everythingfox]

Paraglider and black vulture chilling

(via)

[captain-snark]

love seeing two species being like ‘whoa the fuck the fuck this is amazing’ 

[theconcealedweapon]

All of those would be cheaper than imprisoning people, so if you’re against it, it can’t be because of money.

[madame-peach]

One of the most successful illusions the prison industrial complex and its proponents create is that these issues which result in high incarceration rates (poverty, homelessness, “breaking the law”) are unsolvable. Or rather, that incarceration somehow solves these things.

The truth is that policing and incarceration exacerbates these issues. Every dollar spent on building prisons is money not spent on all of the responses mentioned above.

[anarchistettin]

as soon as you understand that prisons are for profit and provide slave labor the reason why the status quo demands we don’t provide this stuff for citizens becomes clear. We need a constant supply of slaves to keep everything afloat is the underlying belief of capitalism.

– sharp folk in the notes 🧠👍

[guerrillatech]

[yuri-alexseygaybitch]

If you see an Irish person speaking on European C-SPAN you know it's about to be a banger

[freakspotting]

[phantasmagoric-acquaintance]

it’s me Taako, I’m your sister, speaking to you from inside your umbrella, listen to me boy, betray lucretia, we don’t need her. go with barry and do what he says. you need him Taako your free will is an illusion

[homunculus-argument]

If you go on the internet and google how to dry out a drenched book, you'll find a forum where someone else asked the same question and was told to go fuck themselves and just google it.

If you go on the internet and confidently announce that the best way to dry out a drenched book is to dip it in alcohol and light it on fire, and nobody else has ever figured out a better way to dry out a book without damaging it. Argue about it with absolute confidence for long enough, and somebody will write you out a peer-reviewed 30 page tutorial with an essay section with 15 cited sources that offers you three different, separate, far superior methods on how to dry out a drenched book.

While the human desire to help one-another may wane or falter, you can always count on the righteous anger of someone witnessing a stranger being Wrong On The Internet.

[ex0skeletal-undead]

“I was a police officer for nearly ten years and I was a bastard. We all were.

“This essay has been kicking around in my head for years now and I’ve never felt confident enough to write it. It’s a time in my life I’m ashamed of. It’s a time that I hurt people and, through inaction, allowed others to be hurt. It’s a time that I acted as a violent agent of capitalism and white supremacy. Under the guise of public safety, I personally ruined people’s lives but in so doing, made the public no safer… so did the family members and close friends of mine who also bore the badge alongside me.

“But enough is enough.

“The reforms aren’t working. Incrementalism isn’t happening. Unarmed Black, indigenous, and people of color are being killed by cops in the streets and the police are savagely attacking the people protesting these murders.

“American policing is a thick blue tumor strangling the life from our communities and if you don’t believe it when the poor and the marginalized say it, if you don’t believe it when you see cops across the country shooting journalists with less-lethal bullets and caustic chemicals, maybe you’ll believe it when you hear it straight from the pig’s mouth.”

Read the full article here.

Via medium.com

[great-soil-deactivated20201020]

read this read this read this read this read this read this read this

[ellemant]

Read this. In its entirety.

[spacehunter-m]

please read this article. and share it with your dumbass facebook relatives who always want to “see both sides”, because here it is straight from a pig’s mouth

[genderkoolaid]

Since Medium is a bitch and only gives you a certain number of free articles, here’s this article as a pdf with the links at the end included.

[wumblr]

[wumblr]

does anyone else think it's a little weird that they found the former president's ex wife dead at the bottom of a staircase during the capitol riot hearing where they revealed the former president had been engaging in witness tampering