[iwannabeaswampwitch]

Lots of drama in our household

[leidensygdom]

me of late

[guddog]

my stupid cats why do they look taxidermied

[inkskinned]

Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht. 

I’m not worth the cost of a watch.

[inkskinned]

i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.

i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.

as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.

disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.

at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.

i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.

i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.

we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.

[thingssheadores-deactivated2014]

[mariecanker-blog]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. THIS IS SO NASTY. WHAT IS THIS STRANGELY SHAPED, HI RES FUCKED UP PIECE OF SHIT. SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME THIS DISGUSTING MASS OF WHAT THE FUCK EVER THIS EVEN IS. WHY DO THINGS EXIST LIKE THIS. WHAT THE HELL DO I TAG THIS NASTY THING. WHAT IS THIS. WHAT IS THIS

[striders]

it’s a sliced mango holy shit

[mariecanker-blog]

oh. i like mangoes. 

[contemptible-scoundrel]

dude op must have eaten some pancakes with syrup and fresh berries before posting this

[deadbeatmaker]

one of the guys in the kitchen at work got called irritating and replied “I am not irritating. You just find me irritating. There are many people who love me.” I think we should all adopt his attitude

[petal-metal-blog]

OMG MY NEW SHOES CAME :3 ignore my ugly house arrest ankle bracelet. haha

[knuckleduster]

fuck everything else this is the real post of the decade

[local-gay]

[bandanawaddledee]

Happy 14 years of house arrest ankle bracelet

[dankxsinatra]

[thesapphictwink]

There's a scene in very early 60's Doctor Who where a character falls into a swamp, I think, and they throw not a rag doll, but a card board cut out of the actor. 10/10 they don't make 'em like this no more

[misheancolchester]

[kinardstits]

[zoesupreme]

wow imagine doing 3 shots

[zoesupreme]

imagine doing 1 shot

[guddog]

Having a corporate job that isn't too demanding is mostly a great privilege but i do feel like im taking poison damage all the time

[psykocharm]

would you guys like to see a real illustration from an actual published scientific paper? of course you would

link to the paper

[zordonmlw7]

Hey op kinda buried the lead. This isn't just some illustration. ITS THE ABSTRACT.

[stellanix]

my mushoomb,, :D

[chemkitt]

one musruum..

[oeing-oeing-clay]

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

[kaylmao]

work like a red onion

play like a white onion

fuck like a green onion

[theoneofwhomisblue]

[blossposs]

[crispylilworm]

[theoneofwhomisblue]

[theoneofwhomisblue]

[guddog]

The weirdest thing about working in government is how many really cool vibes alternative fashionable chill people u meet and you talk about like jazz bars and then they r like Oh yea my job is drone procurement for the army :)

[nem23]