Manic Morphine

she/her (37) Part Time Soulmate Full Time Problem

[autistichollander]

shane always getting spoken to growing up about how he needs to be making sure he wears clothes around the house bc hes always got just a pair of underwear on and he doesnt fuckingggg want to wear those shorts mom they feel GROSS against his thighs!!!!!!! him always giving annoyed looks to grown ups that dare speak to him about this. shane rolling his eyes after years of hearing the same thing over and over and then one day hes so sick of hearing about how he doesnt even dress normally in his own home that he starts wearing "normal" clothes and hes so fucking overstimulated but whatever if hes home alone he can dress how he wants but he will dress more accordingly to when others are around.

anyways cut to shane being so ufcking comfortable around ilya that he stops wearing clothes around him other than like maybe a pair of his fav underwear at MOST and ilya is broken brained staring at shane like holy fucking shit you just are hiding this all for years and now we live together and you love being naked other than underwear???? HOW DOES HE SURVIVEEEE

[ilya-sweetheart]

Boston boys 😎 groupchat

Ilya: everyone is welcome to dunkin’s funeral on friday

Cliff: who the fuck is dunkin?

St-Simon: you’re selling your ducati?!

Connors: you named your bike after dunkin donuts?

Ilya: yes and also yes; jane says either i sell dangerous motorcycle or i can never eat her ass again

Ilya: was easy choice

Cliff: man you’re whipped can’t belive you’re actually giving up on your fucking Ducati

Ilya: if you had seen janes ass you’d understand

Connors: what are you getting instead?

Ilya: Nothing. Jane says I have enough cars and should invest money in more safe investments in case i loose my job and visa

St-Simons: jesus kid

St-Simons: you sure she’s not your wife?

Ilya: soon i will be jane’s husband and you will all be jealous

[starthecozy]

For this WIP Wednesday: steddie having a cuddle session ❤️

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

shots in car side mirrors are one of my favorite cinematography things <3

[ros-sauce]

(bravely) I think body parts should only hurt if something is wrong.

[kangamommynow]

And that something should be fixable

[teaboot]

Ideally with a warm bath and a good night's sleep

[pocketsized-art]

Hey y'all! GO READ THIS AMAZING ILYA ROZANOV FANFIC RIGHT THIS MOMENT>:)) (Not mine) (Very much not mine but I would die for it)

The interview

WIP fanart below. I don't know if I'll finish it or keep it as a sketch.

(Fanart is mine, with permission from the author. The watermarks are for my insta.)

Love, Keys

[madrasaur]

band 4 band

[m4s0ch1st1c-pup]

Shane and Ilya walking into the locker room to get ready for practice

Ilya starts taking his clothes off and suddenly the rest of the team is chirping him and Shane about what they got up to last night

Both Ilya and Shane look at each other in confusion before both look down at Ilya's body and suddenly realize what everyone's talking about

Ilya is absolutely COVERED in bite marks

On his neck, shoulders, arms, thighs, chest, back, everywhere

Ilya smirks before saying "is not what you think, husband just uses me like chew toy when the world tries to fight him"

Shane was simply biting Ilya the night before as a stim because he chewlery wasn't clean and he felt overstimulated, Ilya, of course, let him have free reign and proceeded to get chewed on for hours

[felixafterall]

Headcanon of the day:

Shane and Harris went to the same school and Harris saw this kid sitting alone during lunch and decided that is now my friend

Ofc they keep in contact over the years and Harris is the first Shane comes out too (after rose) and Harris is like “babes I thought we knew this”

Shane just stares at him for a while before replying “you couldn’t have let me know as well?” Then they laugh.

Harris freaks the fuck out when he hears Ilya is moving to Ottawa and Shane has to pretend that he has no fucking clue why Ilya is moving.

One day Harris invites Shane to one of the barbecues and he just says he’s bringing his old school friend named Shane. No one expects Shane fucking Hollander to show up. Not even Ilya.

Later that night Ilya is like “why didn’t you tell meeee???” Shane just turns to him with the most deadpanned expression and says “I did I talk about him regularly” and then falls asleep.

Ilya lays there staring at the ceiling for a while before he’s hit with several memories all at once the most prominent being the one where Shane tells him over the phone that one of his friends from school had pretty much gotten his dream job as media person with the centaurs. The other memories being little mentions of Harris here and there but all of them vague enough that he didn’t realize it was the same Harris

[illuminetic]

Love that little line in Ep 6 after Ilya says "I know your mom is half Japanese or something, probably where you get your looks," — and then Shane kind of playfully objects and goes "Well, half of them..."

Because Shane really stands up for his Certified Boring New-Yorker reading white-ass dad there and says no no. Don't get it twisted. DILF David Hollander rights. Hot David Hollander rights. And yanno what? I fully believe him. How else do we think this man pulled Yuna?? I just know Ilya is gonna be wandering around the Hollander's cottage one day and he'll catch sight of a photo of Yuna and David during their university days or something (maybe David is in his McGill hockey uniform, fresh off the ice, idk just spit-balling) and Ilya's gonna go oohhhhhh. Okie. Da. I see. I have joined family of hotties. Entire family of stone cold babes. And is including me now. Okie. Yay :)

[drawballa]

Family ice time 🏒

[sukimas]

"you should be at the club" i should be in the woods. performing the ritual.

[bugslibraryy]

No but guys. I know this because I was there. Ilya gets a bad splinter in his foot and he’s all “shaneeee” big big sad eyes and pout and hoping around not putting any weight on it. “Shaneeee we have to go to hospital” and Shane is like oh my god get on the couch Ilya.

He gets out their first aid kit and he’s all 😠 serious kitten face as he cleans it and gets the splinter out and Ilya is all “what’s the verdict doc” and Shane is like “can’t be saved, we have to cut the whole foot off” in his flat voice as he’s pulling the splinter out and putting a plaster on it. Ilya nods seriously and says “ah. Ok at least is not my cock then 😕” and Shane is like “Ilya” as he leans down and gives Ilya a kiss over the plaster (despite it being on his foot, despite Ilya having been barefoot in the backyard the last few hours) and says “all better” his hand rubbing the top of his foot.

and then Ilya is all oh 🥺🤭🥰 “come here doctor I need a lot more kisses I think it’s working I think it’s healing me” and Shane huffs but goes to give his kisses- he doesn’t want to be done for malpractice after all.

[scartafacci]

when they ask him if he’s looking forward to facing shane and ilya replies, “he is goalie now, yes?”, he finds if so fun, he just keeps doing it, and he’s obviously a bit more of an asshole about it every time.

“shane hollander? sorry, i don’t know the names of all assistant coaches.”

“shane hollander? the zamboni driver for montreal? does good job, sure, but i have seen smoother ice.”

“shane hollander? who is that? does he sell popcorn during the games so that he can at least watch from afar?”

“shane hollander? you mean the guy who has coffee cart outside the arena because selling iced drinks is the closest he will get to hockey?”

“shane hollander? of course i remember him. he is park guide now, did you know? yes that is the closest he will get to sticks.”

(to the journalist) “shane hollander? is that the name of your son? does he want my autograph?”

and of course ilya also knows that those answers will get him angry sex every time, so he feels very encouraged to continue.

[canidykes]

the big man is the masculine dom and the dom is the top and the little man is effeminate and transgender but fully passes as a cis man and has top surgery but since he doesnt have bottom surgery he literally has to be a bottom theres no way for someone with a vagina to top and the bottom is the sub and they are both uncomplicatedly homosexual with zero positive emotions for women and they both have adhd and autism but only the kind of autism that doesnt actually disable you and they also crossdress but in a specifically humiliating way (why would a MAN wear a DRESS??? 🤪🤪 etc.) and they live together in a big house that they can both effortlessly afford and they're married and have 2 kids a dog and a cat (because Big man is dog coded and Little man is cat coded) and neither of them have jobs or lasting damage from canon events they've been through or physical disabilities or PTSD that I cant turn into Angsty Ship Content and the sun has a big smiley face and birds are just V shapes on the paper it doesnt have to be more complicated than that you dont have to flesh them out. you dont have to. and if you think about it wouldn't it just be soooo much effort to draw a whole bird?? youre just having fun its mean to ask you for detail. and my teacher lives at the school and the bus driver lives in the bus and everything is exactly the same :)

[teddytheartist]

Hadn´t posted this cuz i had so much going on but i did an art exchange as part of @steddiebbang ´s #sbbartexchange26 , this are my colors on @al-at-once ´s Lineart :) i´ve never done asteddie collab or event so im pretty excited, it was sm fun!!

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

I could SO imagine an au where Ilya thinks Shane is playing like some 4D level mind fuck game with him when he comes over to shake his hand (twice) and compliment his playing, so instead of doing his cocky asshole schtick he earnestly takes the compliment and returns it in kind. And then Ilya goes in for the kill, expecting to call Shane's nice guy bluff by asking for his number. Ha. Bet you weren't expecting THAT, Hollander.

But then Hollander seems,,, weirdly pleased?? And,,, actually complies?? Before practically skipping off, like he got what he wanted?? What??

And then they're texting back and forth and Ilya still partly thinks this is some kind of long con, but then it's been weeks and then it's been longer and suddenly they're at the draft and Shane is looking around the room and when he spots Ilya his entire face lights up and he's making a beeline for Ilya and he's still smiling as he says "Ilya!" like he's happy to see him,,, because he IS happy to see him. Because they've been messaging basically constantly for months now and oh fuck oh shit Ilya is so so deeply screwed.

And so, instead of their canon rivals-with-benefits arrangement, we get the ten year slow burn best friends to lovers narrative.

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

@martelldoran COMING IN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR: