Guy Girl Whatever @guygirlwhatever - Tumblr Blog

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

#Minor correction #“use internet on phone” is a cantrip #“call on phone” is a high level spell

kedreeva

Take a moment from your busy day to relax and observe all the ways to pester a peahen, at her insistence.

monstermonger

A blazing bright summer!

Itty Bitty Summer Dragon stickers ♡

I'm OFFICIALLY DONE with all the itty bitty seasonal dragons :") thanks everyone for checking them out!! It was such a fun little project to do! All the seasons here:

🍂Autumn | ❄️Winter | 🌱Spring | 🌻 Summer

katycreep

She’s a girl with a wide taste range ok?

staticbluue

“People should pass a test before being allowed to have kids.” “Isn’t it scary how white people have this inborn capacity for evil?” “I’ll never pass because males and females have different skull shapes.” “Autistic people have a stronger sense of justice than anyone else.” “I don’t want AMABs in my space because they’re dangerous.” “You shouldn’t have access to hormones if you dress like THAT.” “Anyone who does something that awful isn’t human.” “Some people really shouldn’t be allowed to vote.”

This is eugenics. This is phrenology. THIS IS NAZI SHIT, YOU ARE A LEFTIST BUYING INTO NAZI SHIT. YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO NAZI SHIT.

zephyraes

STIM - Holo Slime

Link back to this post directly if used.

#I have a love hate relationship with it's non/interactions with the scoop

callese

writing-prompt-s

You’ve been sentenced to 400 years for multiple murders. It’s been 399 years and your jailers are starting to get nervous.

elidyce

I was twenty… twenty-five, I think?… when I was sentenced. Four hundred years was a length of time I couldn’t even imagine. It was a length of time I don’t think anyone could imagine, even the judge. It was just a big showy number that let everyone know I’d never see the light of day again. The mages who cast the spells were dramatic about it, practically shouting the part about ‘until death claims you, or four hundred years hath passed, forsooth, thou shalt be imprisoned here’. They don’t waste that kind of magic on most prisoners, but I was special.

The Slayer, they called me then. The Monster of Sentan. I’d killed nineteen people… I remember that number because I was so furious that they stopped me so close to my goal of twenty-one. And I didn’t just kill ordinary people, no, but the Chosen of the Gods. The Great and Good. They were terrified of me. So they locked me away, to die forgotten.

It had been a little less than a hundred years when the king died without heir, and a civil war tore the country apart. When the fighting was all over, the losers were dragged down to the deepest cells under the castle, and the new king and his soldiers stopped and stared at me. “Who… who is this?” he asked, frowning. “Some victim of the usurper?”

People like cooks and jailers and scrubbers don’t change as easily as kings. The same man who’d been bringing me my meals since there was still brown in his hair and beard shuffled forward, hunched and grey now. “No, yer majesty,” he said humbly. “That be a special prisoner, from before the old king died.”

“Special? Special how?” He frowned, moving closer to my cell. “The old king died more than ten years ago. This woman must have been a child then. What could she have done to - “

“Don’t get too close, yer majesty,” the old man said sharply. “That’s the Monster of Sentan… an’ she bites.”

That was true. I do bite.

Keep reading

#I need more!

perfectday1972

o0kawaii0o

Hero of Time

shimamitsu-moved

ppl are so mad in the replies to this tweet but op is literally right

edgar-allan-possum

#I watched Spice and Wolf and Ouran High School Host Club

picsthatmakeyougohmm

hmmm

toast-potent

i don’t need to say it

bingomann

don’t say anything. just reblog this if you’re thinking of exactly that thing when you see this picture

fuck-customers

We should have stamp cards and every time you do a job interview, the interviewer stamps your card and after you do idk 20 interviews, the 21st interviewer HAS to hire you, no matter what. This is fucking ridiculous.

Same with rejections. You get 20 or so job rejections and the 21st has to interview you, no matter what. I shouldn't be in the fucking triple digits for job applications that I've submitted and still not gotten a single fucking offer.

Posted by admin Rodney