Welcome To My Blog I am Manny :)!

This is my blog, I enjoy playing video games, watching cartoons and anime. I get paid to play pretend on stage. He/His

[hanmandler]

This probably sounds weird/dumb but, I felt very lonely today. I didn’t go to school/see anyone so that’s probably why? But I guess the thing is that I haven’t really felt lonely for a while. I usually prefer being by myself now. Or so I thought didn’t really care for a while. 

[hanmandler]

Long post didn’t want it cluttering your feed. If you care to read go for it.

For a while now I’ve felt very disconnected from a lot of people. Friends ask me to hang out but I really would rather stay at home and do nothing. Usually I would immediately say yes because I would rather be out of the house. But for the last few months I really could care less. Honestly it sounds pretty bad and I would rather not try to be a dick to people who genuinely care about me. But I just feel so, well I can’t really put it in words. It just feels like I don’t care anymore. Which really sucks because I do care about my friends, I just don’t have the motivation or want put in the effort to say yes to someone wanting to hang out with me. I tried to avoid many things by making myself busy with tasks that will take a whole day to do. I have to force myself to hang out with my friends because I can’t keep rejecting them by saying I’m busy. I feel like out of all my friends I really hang out with one person. We always hang out on the weekends (as much as he is awake) and we go grab food, watch tv, and blaze all the time. He is probably the only person I feel connected to. Maybe it’s just working, maybe once I go back to school I’ll feel better. I’d rather not lose my friends because of this and that might happen if I keep rejecting their requests to hang out. I don’t know, I’ve tried to plan a few things this week to make sure I actually hang out with someone. 

[hanmandler]

I really feel disconnected from a lot of my friends lately.

[pokemonmovesetsdaily]

Leaving this here

[hanmandler]

Free Him

[hanmandler]

I've been feeling more and more negative these last few weeks

[hanmandler]

LOOK AT THIS MOTHER FUCKER HE HAS A GRASS BOWTIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[112212111122112]

[hanmandler]

My lack of self worth has gotten worse and worse lately. I hate this feeling.

[sociallyawkwardphantasy]

[verifiedofficial]

[hatboy]

Some kids. {Doodles from my Twitter}

[trafalgarlee]

Old School vs New School

[hanmandler]

Future Plans

This post is mainly meant if you were ever curious about my life. I just didn’t want it taking up a lot of space.

So I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately of where I could see myself in the next 5-10 years and it’s been an interesting and tough decision that I feel I need to start working towards.

I have been programming for sometime, but I never really felt confident in my work because I was never as skilled as other people. In high school there were people who just got it and I felt angry that I couldn’t understand what was going on. It really clicked when I realized I had no idea about actually programming outside of a console window. That although I understood how to make things flow logically, sometimes my brain just couldn’t understand more complex stuff about programming like complex algorithm’s. I remember being very jealous that people could easily understand how to make a quick sort function or solve the knapsack problem. It wasn’t till last year that I really started to understand programming to a higher degree. Especially in my classes that were all based around more complex programming. It started to click and I didn’t feel as dumb anymore. I didn’t feel like a failure and I was much more proud of my work.

Coming to the workplace for my coop has made me realize how much I can do if I really put my mind to it. That I learned something completely new in 3 days and since my 4 months being here have completed 3 major projects for the company. I’ve done more in these 4 months than Senior Developers have done for them in the last year, so much so that I’m part of the reason that they got fired. I felt terrible that I made people lose their jobs but I had no idea that they were not working. But I know that’s not my fault they weren’t working. I have no responsibility over that even if that makes me sound like an asshole.

Going into the future I have made some goals that I feel like I need to accomplish. I’ve been working on scripts, making work flows, and concept art all for a new game concept. This is sort of my manifesto for this game, or a game design document. Every night I sit at my desk and start thinking of ideas for this game and I’ve been making a lot of process. I start writing and working.

I don’t know when this game will be started, but I do know I am happy working on this.

After I finish college I am going to be going back to University for game development. Hopefully Brock, because it is partnered with Niagara College’s game program.

Then comes the cross road that I’ve started to reach.

Some may know that some how for whatever reason I started really following Rooster Teeth. I started listening to their podcasts a lot and I really started to get invested in them as a company so much so that I even pay to be a sponsor. The ideals they follow and the company that’s been created because of them is something I really respect. They’ve really showed me that people were wrong, my parents were wrong, that you can go to big places by following your dreams. I even started working on pitches for them, however, I don’t want to bring it up anytime soon. I’ve come to the position, when I finish school do I try my best to create an amazing portfolio so I can try getting a job there. Or do I stay here and create a studio that I will maybe work on with one of my closest friends. For once in my life, I have come to such a decision that has never really been a question to me in the past. The reason I am leaning towards trying my best to work for them is because I respect them so much. They’ve showed me that two of my passions programming and comedy can work hand in hand. Which is something I never thought of, when I wanted to create a studio. But once again that’s if I get my stuff off the ground now and show them something I’ve created.

For once in my life I feel bad that I can’t follow my dream of creating a studio but some part of me also sees that this could be an amazing opportunity.

I don’t know what is going to happen and I really feel only time can tell at this point. Maybe my ideas will change when I’m older, maybe they won’t, I mean the last 10 years I was so determined to create a studio one day. So I really can’t say anymore.

All I can say is that I want to prove that I can create something that is worth it.

[playbill]

Broadway-Bound SpongeBob Musical Announces Complete Cast

[silencewhippersnapper]

WHY

[agentsex]

@godlessondheimite

[godlessondheimite]

newsies choreography

[carlottagiudicellivevo]

honestly I kind of love how well the actors are conveying their characters with non-cartoony costumes and their faces not even showing though

[godlessondheimite]

TBH I’m expecting this to be an unexpectedly poignant and touching musical.

[muddiedfoxglove]

Why is no one talking about how Lilli is playing sandy!?! Like a WOC playing a popular character!!!

[charaznablescanontoyota]

“The musical will feature songs from a mixture of classic and contemporary artists, including Steven Tyler and Joe Perry of the band Aerosmith, Tony winner Cyndi Lauper ( Kinky Boots), They Might Be Giants, Jonathan Coulton, Dirty Projectors, The Flaming Lips, Sara Bareilles, John Legend, Lady Antebellum, Panic! At the Disco, Plain White T’s and T.I., with an additional song by David Bowie and additional lyrics by Jonathan Coulton. “All of the musicians got a brief on where their song fits in the story, so they weren’t randomly writing songs on the topic of SpongeBob,” Jarrow explained. “They knew where it fit in the story.“” um holy shit???

[mcgarrygirl78]

This will either be the best thing ever or the biggest clusterfuck in all of Broadway history.  either way, bring it on!!!!!

[missocki]

My brain can not process this.

[mitosass-deactivated20160725]

@mildtoast OMG

[mildtoast-deactivated20160725]

Welp! @mitosass

[plumdwarf]

@goodmom

[zachsilberberg]

this sounds?? mildly promising???

[hanmandler]

I'm not sure if I'm happy or scared

[hanmandler]

Writing pitches to a studio is a lot harder than I thought.

[cheejoekay]

Any thoughts?

[youngsongoten]

he’s insecure about his old man hands

[vividjupiter-deactivated2023121]

Guys shut up the gloves match the outfit

[strawberryogre]

Because Decora Kei nails are hard to maintain. 

I thought you all knew this.