Lady Ophelia Seremai got CORAL SNAKE RINGS up her neck y'all!

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@harmonymelody
Lady Ophelia Seremai got CORAL SNAKE RINGS up her neck y'all!
“No one stands on their own two feet. If they look like they do, it is because they are standing on top of people you cannot see.”
They'll give you the scar for this.
Oh boy. The Tachonis are selling spots in their undead army/castle in death.
That's some scary kind of loyalty they could potentially pull when those folks (think) they know what they're getting in death. If they think it's a cushy after gig, why would they fear fighting to the death?
murray: *compliments azune*
azune, immediately: thank you. that means a lot. i will kill somebody for you.
You wake up from unconsciousness to find artistic director of the Globe theatre, famed stage actor and playwright Sir Mark Rylance hauling you to safety.
That's the kind of night Demodus Blix is having
Azune and Murray promising to kill for each other. Bolaire doing fucked up manipulative toxic yaoi shit to Hal while also literally putting his life in Hal's hands. There's even a trans grad student there.
today in making myself sad with graphs, you ever think about the changing relationship between occtis and thimble in terms of who looks older?
(we already knew that thimble started aging 8 years ago and looks about 18 now, but the recent cold open saying she was 10 until the doors to faerie closed does confirm she's been aging at a normal human rate since then)
thimble was older than occtis when they first met, but only by a little bit, he quickly overtook her. and while they've been aging at the same rate for the last 8 years, his head start means he's stayed roughly two years older than her (in appearance, anyway). but given what occtis is now, assuming they both survive the next two years, that's gonna flip again - and in a complete reversal of what they thought their respective immortalities would be, thimble's gonna be the older one again and keep getting older, while occtis' age stays put
make wizard hat (•:|>
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great wizard guys
drink some fucking water
write insane shit that’s way beyond your perceived ability and skill level even if you don’t finish it even if you think it sucks
The Kansas Industrialist, Manhattan, October 18, 1916
truly some people have no genre savviness whatsoever. A girl came back from the dead the other day and fresh out of the grave she laughed and laughed and lay down on the grass nearby to watch the sky, dirt still under her nails. I asked her if she’s sad about anything and she asked me why she should be. I asked her if she’s perhaps worried she’s a shadow of who she used to be and she said that if she is a shadow she is a joyous one, and anyway whoever she was she is her, now, and that’s enough. I inquired about revenge, about unfinished business, about what had filled her with the incessant need to claw her way out from beneath but she just said she’s here to live. I told her about ghosts, about zombies, tried to explain to her how her options lie between horror and tragedy but she just said if those are the stories meant for her then she’ll make another one. I said “isn’t it terribly lonely how in your triumph over death nobody was here to greet you?” and she just looked at me funny and said “what do you mean? The whole world was here, waiting”. Some people, I tell you.
Catnapping
Story Time:
Working in retail is really fun, and the times when major fuck-ups happen, they can be either anxiety-attack inducing, or make it possible to get through the rest of your god-awful shift with a smile depending on the customer. My all-time favorite absolute fuck-up is as follows:
This kind woman is just doing her thing. She scans her membership card from her keychain. The register beeps to acknowledge the scan. We continue as usual. Neither of us notice right away, but after I’ve scanned a few more items, I hear a very quiet, “Um,” from the lady, very polite. I look at her. She is looking at the screen of my register, blinking. I, too, look.
And lo and behold. There is a charge of over four-thousand dollars ($4,000) worth of garlic bread staring us in the face. There are no words for a minute. We’re just… in awe. How did this happen? How the hell did this happen?
She didn’t even have garlic bread in her cart.
I sputter a partial apology - I was incapable of forming actual sentences in the moment - and try to void the garlic bread. Since there was no garlic bread to scan, I try to manually remove $4,000-some from this transaction.
Well, the registers don’t like it when you try to void off more than five dollars ($5) from a transaction, so naturally it pings my manager for confirmation, but she’s not by her pager.
At this point, both myself and the lady are just… dumbfounded. She’s not even mad. I’m not even all that embarrassed. Both of us are just looking at the screen. There’s a bit of laughter, but it’s mostly just… confusion.
I have to call through the whole store for my manager on the intercom because she’s not answering. She shows up, ready to override and void it, when she too, sees what exactly is being voided.
“What… did you do?”
“I genuinely. Have literally. No. Idea.”
She voids it, and I go to finish the transaction and tell the woman her total (minus the garlic bread). My register pings. It tells me that she hasn’t scanned her membership card. Odd. I distinctly remember her doing that. The woman goes to scan her card again, and I notice that her library card is stuck to her membership card. I tell her gently, and she separates the two and scans her card.
My manager, hovering nearby still, sees this and says, “I think it mistook the barcode of her other card for garlic bread, and the remaining digits were read as the price.”
And that’s when the laughter really came over us. There were no hard feelings at all. In fact, the woman was incredibly glad that the receipt still showed the garlic bread and the voiding of. I will remember it until the end of time, my only regret in the entire situation being that I didn’t take a damn picture, because she has proof and I don’t. But I swear to God it happened.
TDLR; Library Card Charged $4,000 of Garlic Bread.
that’s just how valuable library cards are. each one is worth at least $4000 of garlic bread
A picture is worth a thousand words, a library card is worth $4000 worth of garlic bread, if we can figure out how many words the average library card can check out at once, we can probably work out a picture-to-garlic bread conversion here, too.
My hope for whoever is reading this is that your life starts making sense and coming together. I hope the good days are right around the corner for you.