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almost home
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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Today's Document
blake kathryn
wallacepolsom
if i look back, i am lost
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@hazy-moon-daisy
oh me? I lost my penis when I ignored the "Don't touch the machinery" sign. you know how it is
you all hate me and my penis. I mean penisnt
I made the mistake of looking at this while taking an order over the headset at work and started laughing really hard and had to gather myself for a second and my coworkers kept trying to look at my phone to see what I was laughing at
nearly ran a redlight thinking about >penis ripped off by penis gnomes on my way home from work
i think if hollanov decide to have more than one kid at least one of them will be a goalie. and you know that kid is going first in whichever draft they end up in because they practiced on shane fucking hollander and ilya fucking rozanov (because if your dads were casually the two best centres in the nhl and two of the most successful hockey players on the planet, then you defend that net like your life depends on it)
everyone else in that years draft thinks this hollander-rozanov child got picked first out of nepotism (because who the fuck is that desperate to pick a goalie first overall in the draft?) until one day that team’s starting goalie is injured and all of a sudden your scoring chances have gone to hell because you’re trying to get the puck past cerberus, the three headed dog that guards the gates of hell
someone says something about nepotism and in a fit of rage ilya posts a bunch of videos of their kid at the grand age of eight years old defending the net from their father. and it’s an unacknowledged fact that The Shane Hollander has never gone easy on the ice at all, and the fact he’s playing his still single-digit kid does not change this one iota
and the kid is WINNING. shane is clearly not pulling his punches and a significant number ARE going into the net (because, at the end of the day this is still The Shane Hollander vs a middle-schooler) but the kid is saving enough goals that it’s noticeable
and ilya captions the post. “if our child is capable of this level of goaltending at 8 imagine how good he’ll be in ten years” and then his next post is “oh wait, you don’t need to imagine” and the accompanying video is some of the best saves he’s made that year
(their child also has a brutal sense of humour that the world discovers the first time he’s mic’d up. “why are they mic’ing the goalie?” everyone asks, then the commentary starts and they immediately understand. a petition goes round for him to be mic’d every game. he’s not, but he is mic’d more frequently than the average goaltender)
So I think the way you know you suck at hockey (at the professional level, I know no one in the NHL actually sucks) is if you’re playing poorly and Shane Hollander is still nice to you. “You you did good out there, man. No sweat.” He’s mean to the players who have potential (“What the FUCK were you thinking Haas?”), or the really good players fucking up on bad nights. He doesn’t even talk to his husband out at Monks after Rozanov missed his pass on the power play (“I set it up perfectly for you, Ilya, if you’d just admit it then maybe I could help you fix it for next time—“) but he’s asking you about the kids and where you go for Christmas. You’re never getting off the fourth line bud. Actually, Hollander just bought you a beer, which means you’ll be back in the minors next week.
shane takes ilya fishing just off the dock and he baits the hooks and casts the lines and then just. sits. completely still and silent. and ilya is like shane. shane??? hello? shane what is wrong?? and shane is just shushes him and goes back to sitting completely still and silent, only moving when there's a nibble or to reel when the line is too loose. ilya isn't even looking at his line because he's too focused on shane not moving at all. it freaks him out so bad he never goes fishing again.
Love that little line in Ep 6 after Ilya says "I know your mom is half Japanese or something, probably where you get your looks," — and then Shane kind of playfully objects and goes "Well, half of them..."
Because Shane really stands up for his Certified Boring New-Yorker reading white-ass dad there and says no no. Don't get it twisted. DILF David Hollander rights. Hot David Hollander rights. And yanno what? I fully believe him. How else do we think this man pulled Yuna?? I just know Ilya is gonna be wandering around the Hollander's cottage one day and he'll catch sight of a photo of Yuna and David during their university days or something (maybe David is in his McGill hockey uniform, fresh off the ice, idk just spit-balling) and Ilya's gonna go oohhhhhh. Okie. Da. I see. I have joined family of hotties. Entire family of stone cold babes. And is including me now. Okie. Yay :)
I HAVE FINALLY FOUND THE PAINT JOB I NEED ON MY CAR.
driving my newly painted car down to my job at the children’s hospital
are non brits aware of count binface.
Like don't get me wrong, Ilya is uncomfortably aware of the consequences if his whole bisexual thing gets out. But you can't tell me that sometimes he's just dying to tell Marleau about the fact that he pulled Shane Hollander, that he's actively pulling Hollander every time they play Montreal. He got hockey's 11/10 and he can't even tell anyone.
I quote this and laugh to myself very, very often.
people moving to tumblr from twitter please fucking reblog art likes literally dont do anything except make the artist upset bc they have 2 reblogs and 55 likes
yes this includes fanfiction, gif sets, edits, etc.
theres this one person who reblogs this post like 20 times a day and then sometimes will also reblog it like 200 times at once and also anytime it appears on their dash they apparently will queue it again too and i just want you all to know that you pissed them off real bad and that should be your sign to reblog art actually. for them
heyyyyy followers and mutuals who think this only applies to people from twitter:
it doesn’t.
Literally the entire poetry space is so much horrendously worse with this. I make art as well but it is literally so intense, how little poetry people do not reblog anything outside of their PERFECT little aesthetic. I was curious and looked at like 20 different poetry blogs and found the same or similar aesthetic stuff and very few people reblogging other forms of poetry. Whatever poems I do post usually never get reblogs, and there’s only like 3 likes after a few days and the post never gets interacted with again.
The people supposedly ENJOY the content, but not enough to ruin their perfect aesthetic blogs or to make a side blog to look at other people’s poems and works. And I’m not dissing aesthetic blogs, you do you, good for you, but the problem comes from not supporting other artists or poets. No comments on posts either usually, just likes and moving on. It’s at the point I have considered several times to entirely stop posting my poetry. I’ve long since almost entirely stopped posting my art because it feels like more effort to tag the damn art than it’s worth, because nobody sees it or cares. No sketches, no wips, no talking about my story, no talking about my characters, I save that for my discord communities because literally it’s a ghost town here.
i tried making a contrapuntal poem for hollanov, which can be read 3 ways: shane’s side alone, ilya’s side alone, or both sides together. inspired by the long game.
babe - hollanov - @hollanovmicrofic - click here to see my microfic archive! - does this count as a microfic? - trying to be like the youths here
