i just remembered that back in elementary and high school, i was friends with a lot of guys and most of them were boy scouts. we were such a tight knit group that it sucked that i was getting left out of things that they wanted me to be a part of. these were all cishet identifying boys at the time, and because i was expressing that i wished i could be in scouts with them, they actually went to their scout leader on my behalf to ask if i could be let in even though i was a "girl". they didn't see me as any different than them. they didn't understand why i couldn't be a part of it.
if you ask me, that's all the proof anyone needs that transphobia & misogyny are learned, not innate. these boys were not old enough to have it drilled into their head at "girls" can't do things that boys "can". they were too young to understand that a "girl" wanting to be masc and seen as a boy could ever be a "bad thing". they saw me as one of the boys. it was never questioned. i actually visited all of these friends after i transitioned and started T and none of them had issues.
they always saw me as one of the boys, to the point of fighting on my behalf to try to get me accepted into their boyscout troop. transphobia, misogyny, and all of these other forms of hatred are learned. not innate. don't let anyone brainwash you into thinking that boys and men are inherently hateful. they're not
Being seen as nothing but one of your close friends is all that it should be.
I was told that I could not join groups like girl scouts (the closest thing that I could think of to Boy Scouts, which I REALLY wanted) because "lesbians were leaders." I was 9, and had no idea what lesbian meant at the time.
It took me 15 years to unlearn that prejudice my father indoctrinated me with... and now... I've been learning that I myself am genderqueer... how the tables turn.
i'm glad you're able to undo some of that now, it's never too late!
