[apollophanes]

I've seen this saying being passed around a few times. Not sure where it is from, but I love it:

If you don't know who to pray to, then pray to Hermes. Even if he cannot help you, he knows someone who can.

[facts-i-just-made-up]

What’s the very last word ever invented?

On the contrary, "What" was the very first word invented, followed quickly by "The" and "Fuck" when an early caveman overheard a very snarky sounding grunt from her asshole boyfriend.

[tastefullyoffensive]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i can’t imagine dealing w/ even just moderate social media fame as a teenager. i’m an entire adult and it still took me months of emotional & mental adjustment to figure out how to handle this blog blowing up. there were major mental health repercussions for me as a fully developed adult, I literally can’t imagine how toxic that would have been for me at a younger age.

please stay safe & treat each other with respect. social media culture allows us to harm each other in ways we’re still discovering. i’m proud of a lot of the stuff i see ya’ll doing, but there are still some very toxic behaviors we’ve normalized on this site and others

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Gaud you seemed to have put your icon on inside out

freshly peeled!

[everyone-loves-purple]

nice! never say that again!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

can’t wait for my winter coat to grow in

[pyromaniac-fairy-of-water]

It’s things like this that remind me why I’m following you and also make me regret following you

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

if you don’t regret following at least a little then you’re not getting the full Gaud Experience 

[pettycentral]

[teamnowalls-deactivated20180918]

earth sign antics

[kiss-kiss-fall-in-my-ass]

Got an update for y’all

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Opinion on clowns?

they’re pretty problematic as exotic pets, plus they do a lot of damage to local ecosystems if allowed to escape

[jumbiewumbie]

and they taste weird

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

they’re naturally toxic. clowns meat is not safe to eat unless prepared by a professional, and even then it’s more of a novelty food. some cultures consider it a delicacy but i can’t ethically endorse that

[biggest-goldiest-fish]

Y'all. Clowns are used as decor. WHY ARE YALL EATING CLOWNS

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

yeah as taxidermied decor. that doesn’t mean you can’t eat the meat

[askthedevicer]

someone came into my restaurant with a clown once claimed it was a service animal. I dont know what service it provided, and my manager wasn’t willing to go over and confirm

it just stood there. staring. smiling.

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[crimson-chains]

THE INTERNET HAS RUINED ME

STOWAGE IS A REAL WORD, GOD DAMN

[omghotmemes]

I found this a while ago and it still makes me laugh.

[animalsnaps]

Cute animal snaps

[valtsv]

there are a lot of theories for why yoda talks Like That™️, the most plausible of which are usually something along the lines of "he uses the same sentence structure as his native language no matter which language he's speaking or who he's talking to", but my personal favorite reddit crack theory is that he forms his sentences that way intentionally because he wants people to rearrange the sentences into something they can understand in their heads to make sure that they actually listen to him because it's just such a bastard power move. like. Master Of The Jedi Order I Am. Put Up With This You Will. Fuck You.

[conners-kent]

#alfred raised him right

[i-prefer-fiction-over-friends]

Bruce ‘raised by a butler’ Wayne knows how to treat everyone no matter their social position with respect.

Can you imagine his outrage and anger at watching how everyone treats the only family he has left? Alfred was his entire world until Dick showed up. And people saw the man that raised him in the same way they noticed a lamp. He swears to himself to never be like them.

So Bruce knows all the janitors names, he pulled strings for his garbage man Donny’s daughter to get into a better school, he thanks waitstaff with the utmost sincerity, he makes genuine conversation with anyone he can so that they know they are seen, he tips graciously and leaves his card with those stuck in a rut with the skills to be more.

Batman fights crime but Bruce Wayne fights apathy.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Can I use you as a weighted blanket to help me deal w/ my autisim and touch starvation?

*flattens myself like a pancake and just fucking flings myself onto you*

[brownnesscrew]

[accelerationist-king-piccolo]

If you have Edison lights you automatically get the guillotine.

[bgm05]

this place has a burger that’s topped with like 3 other kinds of meat and tastes like nothing but liquid smoke

[captain-cargoshorts]

guacamole is offered for $1.75

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

they have a sign up telling you no Wi-Fi talk to each other but they also want you to follow them on Instagram

[saint-batrick]

they have a $17 burger that has “deconstructed” in its description.

[jonlybonlyfromboldlygo]

All of the beverages are served in mason jars and the only straws they provide, on request, are dry pasta

[cumaeansibyl]

Menus printed on brown paper that’s meant to look low-fi but actually costs $40 a ream

[silent-calling]

Your waiter has a man-bun and hotpants on and recommends you the low fat, low calzhigh soy veggie burger for $19.89. Fries aren’t served.

[disgruntled-neighborhood-wife]

The microbrew menu is 300 pages thick and none of them are good

[friendly-neighborhood-patriarch]

those ridiculously uncomfortable benches are always placed on a floor designed to make the most noise when you try to leave.

[themodernmaccabee]

The seating is pretty terrible and it always smells like a farmers market in a recently burnt down barn.

The burger you ordered as medium will always come out well done

[bezosbaldhead-deactivated202007]

They don’t have a brand name soda fountain but instead carry sodas and colas made from roots and cane sugar. Their AC keeps the restaurant at a comfortable 55 degrees on a 70 degree day while the cardstock menu proudly boasts that they’re made from 100% recycled paper. Extra toppings can cost up to $5 depending on what you get.

[joey-wheeler-official]

The food you order to go comes in a brown paper bag

[skywardsister]

Restaurant tables are made of recycled wood. The aesthetic of the building is black, silver, brown, and red. Food eaten in is served in loose, small wax paper bags instead of plates. Prices on the menu do not show currency iconography beside them.

[quoththeqrowin]

Who hurt you people

[silverhawk]

honestly tho that scene in the incredibles where mr. incredible sees the names of all the old super heroes that used to be his friends / that he knew from Back in the Day and how every one of them has been killed by syndrome is such a chilling scene for so many reasons 

like for one, everyone he knew is dead at this point and has been killed on the same island he’s at now and two, its heartbreaking bc that means that almost every hero wanted to try out being a hero again despite the laws against it and wanted to try and help someone out and relive their glory days, only to be straight up murdered like fuck that scene is just so fuckin intense

[allthesebees-deactivated2019070]

[marisatomay]

[theladyspanishes]

I think the core of that scene for me is, when you’re insane like me and you go through it frame by frame, you can work out that Gazerbeam defeated the omnidroid twice - the only super we have enough information to confirm did so. I always wondered about his body in the cave, how and why he got the password… But it makes sense. This thing goes haywire, gets an upgrade, and goes haywire again? He must have been hella suspicious! So he does what any good superhero would do - tries to get to the bottom of what’s really happening on Nomanisan Island. During the process he’s clearly caught and wounded but has just enough time to get himself somewhere he can leave a final message, just praying that the next super to come along will find it and break the cycle. Gazerbeam is my hero.

[xxxtictacion]

Incredibles 2 has a lot to live up to

[thatgirlwithanopinion-deactivat]

All of this and…

I’m just realizing that the name is No Man Is An Island???? As in, everyone needs someone to depend on and connect with, no one is ever completely alone or should act all on their own.

[swan2swan]

Also Gazerbeam probably has X-ray vision–so he not only survived long enough to defeat the Omnidroid, he had the ability to see Syndrome entering the password.

[animagix101]

Holy guacamole! I should pay more attention, I don’t think I got any of that stuff!

[frognonbinary-deactivated202412]

does anyone think about the fact that now mr. incredibles has to live w/ the fact that all his friends getting killed by syndrome could have been avoided if he had just been nicer to syndrome from the beginning

[breefolk-hates-staff]

^I was thinking that from the beginning reading this and was shocked it went through so many comments before anyone pointed that out.

Syndrome waited until his machine was almost ready to go before asking Bob to come to Nomanisan. He also was surprised to find out that he was married to “Elastigirl”, which means he likely built his list and went through everyone else before finally deciding it was time to kill Bob.

[gay-jesus-probably]

Also, Syndrome literally didn’t find Bob until the start of the movie. He found Frozone and was stalking him. If Lucius hadn’t hung out with Bob, then Frozone was going to be the next one lured. There’s literally a scene of Mirage realizing that the guy in the car with her target is Mr. Incredible. He wasn’t going through the list, he was stalking and finding every former Super he could, luring them to the island, and then killing them, for the sake of improving his robot. Finding Bob was just a happy accident, and Syndromes obsession with him meant that upon finding a bot that could beat Bob, he figured he’d hit perfection and was ready.

and like, let’s be real here in the intro Buddy was crossing the line the second he showed up, Mr. Incredible mentioned he’d been very nice to Buddy, via signing a ridiculous amount of autographs and doing pictures and stuff, and that he was not going to risk a childs life as a sidekick (albeit in less words). Buddy literally showed up by breaking into his car, and then stalked him all evening until he was arrested. That’s disturbingly obsessive behavior, there’s no amount of niceness that would stop Syndrome, it was an impossible situation. No amount of nice was going to appease Syndrome, the second he faced any sort of rejection from Mr. Incredible he was going to lose it and go supervillain. After his arrest he should have gotten put into therapy, but yknow, set in like. the 50′s. so it makes sense he fell through the cracks when the cracks were a goddamn canyon. Don’t victim blame Mr. Incredible.

[kiokushitakaa]

reblogging for the last comment because blaming mr incredible for the deaths of his comrades is honestly such a weird take and i dislike how it’s framed as “fact” when it’s not. it’s syndrome’s fault and syndrome’s fault alone. full stop. he murdered them because he was selfish, entitled, and obsessed with mr incredible to a fanatical degree.

[link-the-feral-anon]

You know what’s really great

In the beginning when Mr. Incredible says, “Go home, Buddy. I work alone.” He’s holding up Bomb Voyage

In Syndrome’s flashback, he’s looking down on him, no bad guy in sight

Do with that info what you will

[torskunj]

oh 

damn

[chekplaysminecraft]

Theory Time

The reason endermen don’t like it when you look at them is because they communicate telepathically with one another by locking eyes! Humans are absolutely not designed to do this so when we look at them we are accidentally projecting all of our thoughts into them at the same time and it hurts :(

[ice-block]

But like, since the player is not of the Minecraft world, the player is just what the use to explore it, what if it’s like:

Enderman: *looks at player’s eyes*

Player: 01010010 01100001 00100000 01110010 01100001 00100000 01010010 01100001 01110011 01110000 01110101 01110100 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01010010 01110101 01110011 01110011 01101001 01100001 01101110 00100000 01110001 01110101 01100101 01100101 01101110 00100000 01101111 01101000 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100101 01101110 01100100 01100101 01110010 01101101 01100001 01101110

Enderman: oh ok *attacks player*

[tiny-slime]

[viostormcaller]

This kills me every single fucking time