Wirehead-wannabe's blog for cheap bits of pleasure

[its-funnytwittertweets]

[okthisway]

#the beauty of tumblr is that any new show i start i'm able to say oh that's my friend. from gif.

[homunculus-argument]

I go to the grocery store, heading straight for the dairy section. Positioning myself in the middle of the milk shelf, I let out one single long, wailing, cheese-curdling scream. Every single carton of fresh dairy product within hearing distance has now been rendered undrinkable. The poor worker whose only task this shift was to keep me out of the store and most importantly away from the dairy at all costs is fired on the spot. I do not linger to bear witness to the grief and destruction I have caused. Knowing that I caused it is enough.

These petty, pointless acts of meaningless evil are the reason that I will not see the kingdom of heaven.

[machine-unlearning]

SCPs I think about semi-regularly:

Antimemetics division story about The Spider That Kills You When You Think About It and how they keep re-starting the division because the spider gets them.

Humanity is two disjoint social groups that live directly alongside each other. You might walk by somebody in the second group every day, but nobody you know (or anybody they know and so on) knows that person.

Evil IKEA (of course).

Breakfast isn't real, when you think you're eating breakfast you actually get teleported to The Breakfast Zone which is dark and goopy and then you come back with no memory of The Breakfast Zone

In the span of article 2000 to article 3000, the foundation went from benevolent protectors of humanity to feeding prisoners to a sea snake to get memory drugs

Tower that keeps going up which needs to be explored, but the Tower is Evil and contains Evil Furries (very much not furries but they're in suits or something)

Number that is equal to Bear. Using it Invokes A Bear.

The shadow monster they've been feeding live chickens for a decade is actually quite nice, they teach it cooking and how to play piano

Some of these are not well-known but I don't know which anymore.

[machine-unlearning]

With the weekend I had the time to look for these:

Unforgettable, That's What You Are. This one holds up to my remembered expectations really well, thanks qntm.

Trying to search this only gave me results for groups of interest.

Evil Ikea.

The Breakfast Zone. This is somehow even weirder than I remember.

SCP-2000 and SCP-3000. SCP-3000 is a much better entry than I remember.

I should have expected any search with "SCP" and "furries" would not produce anything I wanted to see.

Bear Number.

This is heartwarming in a stupid kind of way.

[learning-is-underrated]

I found #2 thanks to Reddit. It's SCP-4857.

[machine-unlearning]

Does anyone have any guesses on the evil tower not-furries?

If it helps, I largely remember it because it had a monologue about how people associate going up as good, so thought the top of the tower was a mystery to uncover.

[wuwojiti]

It's not SCP-962 plus some associated tale, is it?

[machine-unlearning]

This somehow matches all of my descriptions and isn't it, that's unnerving

[dogtoenail]

[serial-unaliver-deactivated2024]

realistic coworker conversation

[parkchanwoohoo]

Amazing that we have so much in common with the different creatures of the earth

[charlesoberonn]

Do theologians in Omegaverse worlds argue about what Jesus meant when he said "I'm the Alpha and the Omega"?

[charlesoberonn]

[charlesoberonn]

That makes a lot of sense, actually.

[brainscrems]

Does anyone know the history as to how that ended up in the bible? Idk, it seems weird that a judean guy who, by historical consensus, spoke aramaic, and possibly hebrew as well, would be using greek letters in a speech. Is this passage thought to be thrown in by the council of nicea on their own? Is this a bad translation and he said the first and last letters of aramaic which was made into greek letters for western audiences? Why is this in there at all? Has the history of this passage been traced as to how it ended up in the canonized version of the bible? I find this very strange that he’d be using greek letters and I gotta know how this came up

[charlesoberonn]

The historical Jesus is believed to have spoken Aramaic but the New Testament was written in Greek, likely by people educated in Greek literature and rhetoric.

They also wrote for a largely Greek-speaking audience since most Christian churches at the time were outside of Judea.

[mirielvairenen]

Also, that speech is from Revelations- so the Jesus saying that is in a vision seen by a guy imprisoned on a Greek island. (John of Patmos, historically identified with John the beloved disciple, and IIRC imprisoned by Domitian towards the end of the 1st century). So it’s… not really attributable to a historical Jesus.

[charlesoberonn]

Historical Jesus spoke Aramaic but Dehydration Hallucination Jesus can speak whatever he wants

[charlesoberonn]

[tgirl-thucydides]

white nationalists doing "retvrn" posting about Papa Roach is insane but whats really wild is them imagining southern California was somehow a white ethnostate with no hispanics 25 years ago

[catie-does-things]

Thinking about how Anakin canonically both touched grass and got laid and was still Like That.

[copalcetic]

he was even at the club! and yet

[important-animal-images]

[fangedjester]

i had to draw her she's so nostalgic

[hedon-hoarder]

@loving-n0t-heyting

@purrtrand-russell-2

[godshideouscreation]

[sighinastorm]

dig how Portugal is looking at her

[sighinastorm]

golden lion tamarin

[arroz-con-yolo]

where else could you get this

[jollyfurydragonballer]

[good-to-drive]

It's kinda funny when you get a bunch of likes but no reblogs like I enjoyed your post but I'd prefer if no one else saw it

[agendratum]

[homunculus-argument]

I can't help just naturally being an extremely suspicious person. I don't mean that as in myself being distrustful of people, but the other way around, I'm just inherently sketchy as hell. Not due to any single individual feature, but a collection of all of them together.

My observation abilities vary wildly between spotting details that nobody else does, and obliviously standing in the middle of traffic because I didn't notice that I'm blocking the road, so someone with a tendency to start suspecting other peoples' actions and motives can easily start wondering who told me something that I simply intuitively put together but didn't assume was a secret, or start insisting that nobody could be that stupid when I do something stupid honestly as an accident.

I also have an abnormally strong startle response. I legit can't be handling anything that's hot, sharp, fragile, or otherwise shouldn't be dropped if I'm anticipating a sudden loud noise (doorbell, dog going BORK, phone alarm, toaster, etc). So it's not unusual of me to jump like a startled cat when someone walks in on me not doing anything in particular. And I can understand that most people don't respond like that when they weren't caught doing something that they weren't supposed to, and it's hard to believe that I really, genuinely wasn't doing anything. I wasn't even doing the shit that I was supposed to be doing.

[mugwomps]

OP are you a squirrel

[homunculus-argument]

Considering how much time I spend trying to find shit that I stashed away to a secure location that I then immediately forgot about, and trying really hard to avoid getting hit by cars while also being really bad at it, I might be.

[what-even-is-thiss]

You know the Grimm version of Snow White makes more sense than most versions if only because in that version Snow White was like 7 years old.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Like imagine you find a 7 year old in the woods and she’s like my mom is gonna kill me because I’m prettier than her and she’s not kidding. You know this queen is that sort of person. So you and your roommates adopt the kid and tell her don’t talk to strangers. And she keeps talking to strangers and getting poison combs stuck in her hair and whatnot.

Like yeah that’s kinda stupid but also she’s seven. She likes apples.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Also imagine it from the hunter’s perspective. The queen tells you this bitch is prettier than me I need you to take her out in the woods and kill her. And then you see who you’re supposed to kill and it’s a 2nd grader. Like how are you supposed to react to that sort of situation? Kill a human child? No. Because you’re not a brainless evil minion you’re just some guy dealing with a cartoonishly evil monarch. Of course you let her go.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Bad look for the Prince of course. Even if she did age while she was in that glass case. He saw a dead woman and just decided to keep her. And once she stopped being dead he was like we’re married now

He did cause the evil queen to dance to death in red hot shoes though. That was kinda cool.

[thedupshadove]

With the acknowledgement that I'm grasping at straws, is it ever directly confirmed that the Prince wasn't also 7?

[thedupshadove]

See, I think that still works.

You are the guardsman assigned to protect the eight-year-old Prince. You are currently in the middle of the forest because he absolutely had his heart set on "going hunting", and the royal second-grader should definitely not be traipsing around the woods on his own. You let him go a little on ahead and he comes running back talking about how there's a dead girl in the clearing and there's no-one else around and he wants to take her home because she's really pretty, Hans, and she's all alone!

You let him drag you to said clearing and okay, that is one angelic-looking dead child alright, and on the one hand the quality of her clothes and the craftsmanship on the coffin (who builds a see-through coffin?) speak to potential Consequences if you simply carry her off, but also for the amount of vines that have grown on the coffin she looks extraordinarily un-decayed, so you should probably get the court alchemist's opinion on that, and there's no way he's going to come all the way out here in his embroidered velvet curly-shoes. And also this kid is technically assigned by God as your natural superior, or something.

So fine. You hoist the coffin onto your shoulder (it's not like the Prince can do it. He's eight.) and head back toward the castle, Prince chattering blithely all the way. And then you turn your ankle on a rock and suddenly there's a thump and a cough and a lot of shouting from inside the coffin and you have now become a key player in a tense political incident with the next kingdom over.

You should probably ask for a raise.

[littlecofiegirl]

[sacred-portal]

[kinda-pushy-fem]

Forcefem as a group project. A girl made by community, working together to make her beautiful........

At least that would be the case if people acTUALLY DID WORK ON THE PROJECT BECAUSE MY GRADE IN FORCEFEM CLASS RELIES ON THIS I SWEAR TO CANDY DARLING-

[literallymechanical]

FISH DELOUSING LASER????

[nicdevera]

death star heal beam. BE NOT AFRAID

[argumate]

walking down the street minding your own business when you get blasted by an orbital laser and a booming voice says YOU ARE CANCER FREE