hurf durf

nerts

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

villain going to the goon shelter to pick out a new henchman

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

this energetic and diabolical boy was rescued from a goon hoarding situation… he loves pulling levers, gloating, and turning cranks with great abandon. prefers to be the only goon. needs an active lair with plenty of enrichment.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

now this fella comes with some baggage. his previous villain was going to have put down when he refused to perform unsedated human vivisection as a form of torture. one of our agents intercepted the execution and brought him to the goon shelter. would thrive in an environment of G or PG-rated villainry.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

on the other hand, if you’re looking for something a little more… advanced… then this fine lady over here would make a great challenge for an experienced villain able to set firm boundaries. she will NOT be released to first-time villains; proof of prior henchpeople must be demonstrated before adoption approval. high prey drive. under no circumstances should she be left alone with children or small animals. must sign waiver releasing the goon shelter from responsibility if her behavior is deemed excessively depraved.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

These two are pair-bonded and may only be adopted together. Up for anything, they are fiercely loyal to their employer provided their needs are met and they are permitted to hold hands. They look alarmingly similar to one another but it is undeterminable whether they are close blood relatives or lovers who choose to dress and style themselves in identical ways. Habit of finishing each other’s sentences with rhyming couplets; we have not attempted to train this out of them. Will answer to whatever names or titles you give them so long as they are complimentary and/or rhyme.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Will you help this goon find his forevil lair? He’s been returned to the goon shelter six times now but we refuse to give up on him. A vile little rat of a man, he’d be the perfect accomplice to someone willing to overlook his unfortunate heterosexuality. If gay-coding is not your style and you don’t expect it from a henchman, please consider giving this little guy a good home in your dastardly schemes.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

This guy is not your typical goon. He was rescued from a high-kill shelter after being deemed unfit for henching. His deep baritone voice, his darkly handsome good looks, and his flair for the dramatic have made prospective employers pass over him time and time again, making him the longest resident of the goon shelter. But don’t judge a book by its cover—while his appearance and demeanor suggest “villain”, his real passion is taking orders and faithfully serving a master. If you’re secure in your villainry and not prone to jealousy, he may just be what it takes to turn your base into a lair.

[hentaikid]

Caesar Trolling is a art

Some guy on 4chan was spreading scurrilous rumours about Caesar being buggered when he was a young prisoner of the pirates and I'm like... maybe? That's not how the story is told usually, but maybe?

But what I'm wondering is how dedicated this channer is to trolling that he has to wander into a discussion on ancient Rome and troll a guy who's been dead 2000 years. Does he expect to enrage all the caesar supporters reading the thread? Is that what we're doing?

[ladygrinninghole]

obsessed with star trek repeatedly writing themselves into a corner by creating alien races that are supposed to be The Bad Guys when that explicitly conflicts with their previously established notion that no group of people is inherently good or evil.

first it was the klingons—they’re originally supposed to be this cruel, bloodthirsty, war-obsessed people—and then tng comes along and it’s like wait no maybe war and violence is a part of their culture and actually ties back to ancient traditions and philosophies so we have to be woke about it.

hey these are the ferengi and they’re supposed to represent everything we hate about capitalist society; they’re greedy, scheming, profit-obsessed, and they look like ugly little trolls to emphasize how much we fucking HATE capitalism. oh wait fuck here comes deep space nine and we have to recognize that they’re PEOPLE. okok what if the pursuit of profit is actually part of their culture and ties back to ancient traditions and philosophies. so we have to be woke about it.

this is the borg, they’re a hivemind race of cyborgs who have no sense of individuality and their only motivation is assimilating people into their society. they want to assimilate humanity and we are completely defenseless against them because their technology is eons ahead of our own and they’re incapable of being reasoned with. oh sweet we have a borg prisoner this is the perfect opportunity to commit genocide against them. fuck actually we can’t commit genocide we’re woke and communists and in space.

hey these are the cardassians, they’re part of a cruel and vicious empire which is supposed to be a representation of fascism and authoritarian regimes, they’re a cold, bloodthirsty people with no sense of empathy or compassion, their society literally references 1984 on multiple occasions, and they’re known for the insanely cruel and inhumane methods of torture they use against their prisoners of war. we hate the cardassians…….. except, here’s a cardassian kid who grew up on bajor, and……. fuck. he’s a person. now we actually have to consider his humanity. and being racist is actually……. bad.

this is the jem’hadar, they’re genetically engineered soldiers who have no sense of individuality and only live to defend the state. they’re all born addicted to a synthetic drug that’s manufactured by the state and administered by their masters—this is how they’re kept subservient. they’re ruthless and powerful and they’re incapable of being reasoned with because their only motivation is violence and killing. so we should kill them all, right? FUCK….. what if they’re actually people. goddamnit. now we have to consider their humanity.

hey these are the romulans. hey these are the founders. the list goes on. i just find it really interesting

[writergeekrhw]

Mission accomplished!

[ncc-42069]

(For those that don't realize, the previous reblog is one of DS9's writers.)

[unsoundedcomic]

Is Mikaila right when she says Tree doesn't see people when he looks at others? Something to do with his longevity i presume, if she's right?

Mikaila's hypothesis is that he keeps himself at a distance when he's doing uh, professional things. She's pretty sure he'll kill absolutely anyone if that's the job, and probably doesn't want to get to know anyone because of it. Perhaps he is a jocular gentleman in his personal life, but when she's seen papa talking to him, he looks at her like a line item on Farold's lunch menu.

Really need an escort. He probably just hates Soud, everyone does.

[hentaikid]

There's a scene in Neal Stephenson's System of the World trilogy where a main character has an escort much like Will - the text describes him as someone who'd consider carefully taking a life, as a very important act that deserves consideration - he is summarily dispatched by a fellow for whom murder is "like kneading dough" who just casually pushes him off a ledge to get to his charge. The point being is that the latter kind of person is almost always going to beat the former.

[paleoliths]

While I was at the sexual health clinic I saw a poster for a gonorrhea transmission study where the ask is that a person w throat gonorrhea and one without make out for 3 minutes under observation and they test to see if the one without contracted and then they treat everyone’s infections for free. And they get paid! Anyway if you’re looking for a fanfic situation that’s free you can use that one

[hellonearthiii]

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

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Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

"Molestando Niños Muertos en Bolsa de Basura" Mexico Tour

An absolute disaster. Three balaclava’d edgelords decided it was a brilliant idea to tour every major cartel hotspot, aggressively insulting the local population with all the maturity of a 12-year-old discovering swear words. Their song titles alone were so painfully childish and try-hard that one almost felt embarrassed for them directly in front of actual dangerous people.

They got raided by cartels four times after singing on El Mencho's wife-daughter quincieañera (on direct orders from the President), kidnapped twice, and nearly beheaded with a chainsaw. They only escaped because they correctly answered a Dragon Ball trivia quiz.

Petri’s attempts at speaking Spanish were particularly tragic. His Duolingo lessons clearly aren’t sticking. They finally fled the country on a mule. Truly one of the most impressively stupid and pointlessly provocative tours in recent memory.

Truly pathetic, o algo. 1/10.

— El Chilango Cultural https://soundcloud.com/acciatb

[hentaikid]

Nice detail on the false friend "molestando", took me a moment to remember you're a native Spanish speaker.

[smoke-in-the-winds]

Mammals are Beasts

Mammaries are Breasts

The letter “R” therefore must have some hidden “lactatization” effect in grammar.

[glumshoe]

why does every cartoon character wear these underwear:

[gravitygals]

why don't u

[glumshoe]

because if I wore these underwear the universe would conspire to constantly put me in situations where my pants would get pulled down or destroyed and it’s so hard to find good pants

[theevenprime]

I have a few pairs of these exact underwear, which I wore whenever possible as a camp counselor.

The reason was that, if you get pantsed, and you weren't in on the joke / it wasn't planned, that's a massive breakdown in respect and discipline, and you have to make an example of that kid (generally by wrestling them, and in serious cases, taking away candy privileges). But getting pranked is still a bad look, and makes it seem cool to rebel against your authority.

However, if you get pantsed, and you are in on the joke, everyone has a good laugh, including you, and no one was actually rebelling. It both makes you look like a cool authority figure and makes the person doing it look like they're the sort of person in cahoots with counselors. Then, if there's a behavioral issue, you can have that quiet conversation later, away from an audience.

And since those underwear are so culturally specific as punchlines in a pantsing gag that the only plausible reason to be wearing them is if you're in on a slapstick act, you can retroactively Shanghai any would-be prankster into looking like they did it with your consent and planning, which not only keeps you from indignity, it makes sure that they're rewarded by laughter and attention for looking like they're cooperating with the staff, encouraging that in the future and bringing them in from the outside of the social-reward structure you're trying to set up, where it's cool too be wacky but responsible.

That preparation effort paid off maybe four times across three years, but it was completely worth it.

The downside, of course, is that when one of your kids goes missing in a storm when it's hailing and pouring sheets of water, and you don't have many dry clothes left, you're reduced to running through the rain looking for them in your underwear, which are situationally inappropriate / jarringly comical to the full extent possible.

[mcnostril]

I have finished the game with the gun and the blood and I thought it was pretty great.

[hentaikid]

At the bar Friday get asked how old I am, I say 50, people do a double take

that's more like it!

[fishtrouts]

This is part 2 of the winter dragon’s comic! See part 1 here!

Wheeew I am NOT drawing backgrounds again for a while! I hope you enjoy this ending more than the first one’s! :D

Webtoon | Patreon | Redbubble

[fishtrouts]

Not everybody wants to be your friend, Swordfish 😬

[ducktracy-deactivated20260315]

[fandomfishbish]

i foand my boit suttufuhcut an’ it says oim fouah

[yvesdot]

I have seen a young lady with her table loaded with volumes loaded of fictitious trash, poring day after day and night after night over highly wrought scenes and skillfully portrayed pictures of romance, until her cheeks grew pale, her eyes became wild and reckless, and her mind wandered and was lost — the light of intelligence passed behind a cloud, and her soul was forever benighted. She was insane, incurably insane from reading novels.

-- an anonymous pastor in 1864, on the greatest threat to young women

[abyssalbloom]

People complaining about the current romance book trends ruining women

[elucubrare]

look at Project Gutenberg, righting historical wrongs!

[elucubrare]

maquet was dumas' collaborator on the three musketeers and 17 other works. dumas' publisher kept him off the title page, and there were royalty disputes (dumas, of course, didn't want to pay maquet).

maquet also put the collaborations on his tombstone!

[hentaikid]

I mean judging from that tombstone he did all right for himself

[pocketss]

Ummm she's literally sensitive :/

[catchymemes]

[hentaikid]

I've compromised by starting to abuse the playback speed option (I have an extension that gives me a control panel for YouTube) most speakers are fine at 2x and (default) and some people deserve to be cranked up to 3x, the ponderous bastards.