Melodramatic Fool

hergan, hergie. they/them, 30s. 🐍🍎Temptress & Degenerate. Fanfic author. Pander Pride but Vicissitude for life. Please read my pinned post, I post shit you probably won't like. Icon art by karasu and header art by VioVayo.

[hergan416]

There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are either well written, or badly written. That is all.

-Oscar Wilde, preface to the 1891 book version of The Picture of Dorian Gray

Hello, I'm hergan. I write (often smutty) fanfiction and lust over fictional characters (among other things -- see my omoroshi tag for details 😂) I like to think my works are well-written, but that's for you to decide.

I try to tag ships, fandoms, characters and topics as best I can. If you don't like incest ships, consider blocking the tags for those ships. If you don't like piss or omo, consider blocking those tags. If you are underage (or don't want to see adult content) please turn on your mature post filter and block the nsfw tag, or don't follow me.

My fandoms and interests:

Moriarty the Patriot (current, active fandom)

History (including historical erotica)

Omorashi

CoC2 (might not post about this much, but I AM playing through it)

One Piece (mostly reblogs)

Yugioh (mostly reblogs, first fandom love)

[allegrabanner]

is this anything

[inkskinned]

Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht. 

I’m not worth the cost of a watch.

[inkskinned]

i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.

i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.

as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.

disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.

at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.

i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.

i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.

we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.

[kristina100000]

i was having a really hard morning but my daughter of 3 years said mommy dont cry i made you a drum n bass playlist

[postarcadian]

the thing I love most about how tumblr users use tags is that it’s like what if a social media website had a footnotes system

[softichill]

I think abt this tiktok all the time

[thesadcyborg9million]

Diversity hire bryson ur absolutely slaying

[sparrowsfallingfromthesky]

[unstrungbones]

there are many things tumblr as a whole has to learn but one of them is “someone can reblog a post without them endorsing every action the op has ever taken, we are not beholden to do background checks on the producers of every shitpost on the internet”

[kryptoncat]

[kurganfilledwithbearbones]

a mutual made this point and a prominent youtuber tried to dox her

[grenadineghost]

you want to be mommy’s adjective noun, don’t you, pet name? you want to verb and verb for mommy like a good gender

[alhyastarain]

you want to be mommy's weird potato, don't you, Brian? you want to skip and somersault like a good jester

[jeaniefranklins]

Sex scene as character study is so good. What is your relationship to your body? What is your relationship to your partner? What lessons have you absorbed from the culture about yourself as a sexual being? How much do you have to trust someone before being comfortable with intimacy? What fears and insecurities come to the fore for you when you take your clothes off? It's so good.

[headspace-hotel]

How do they communicate? How do they expect others to communicate? How well do they understand their body and their own capacity for pleasure? What do they tend to do to make their partner feel comfortable? How comfortable are they showing emotion in front of others? How much insight do they have into what their own emotions mean and are connected to? What are they focused on during the encounter? How conscious are they of exchanges of power and vulnerability? very very very good

[askaniritual]

i just don’t think “is dude gender neutral” is that productive of a conversation because a word can be gendered and still used regardless of gender. i call my male friends girlypop and my female friends man but i don’t think anybody would agree that those are somehow not gendered terms.

the real question is just “would you be willing to apologize and stop using a word if somebody told you it made them uncomfortable?” the answer to which in a surprising number of cases is no mostly because it seems like overall ppl r more upset abt getting accused of transphobia than they are abt being transphobic

[lakemojave]

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

[lakemojave]

Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs

[pjharvey-moved-deactivated20250]

making fun of americans is pretty much always ok if youre not doing it in an edgelord “you guys have so many school shootings” way or acting like we’re the only country that has racism. but like posts about americans and hamburger get me every time

[empress-hancock]

This is just objectively hilarious

[arowitharrows]

Shout-out to aromantic people whose lives are so fucking busy that they periodically forget what day of the week it is. today is Wednesday, June 5th. Happy Aromantic Visibility Day.

[arowitharrows]

Today is Thursday, June 5th. Happy Aromantic Visibility Day.

[arowitharrows]

It's June 5th again!

[tall]

[byjove]

Someone mentioned how they were having a hard time creating a world for their fantasy fiction geographically because they kept reinventing the island of Britain, which also happened to my good close enemy George R. R. Martin. I would like to suggest North Carolina. I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous but North Carolina has an awesome geographic setup for a fantasy kingdom, I think. Inhospitable barrier islands, constantly shifting shoals in the sound, swamps with alligators, venomous snakes and carnivorous plants, lots of very flat and somewhat sparsely populated farmland, foothills, mines, mountains full of mysterious phenomenon that were originally very difficult to navigate and people still get lost in today. It kind of rocks.

[the-ice-queen-623]

AND VENUS FLYTRAPS ARE NATIVE TO THE CAROLINAS!

[byjove]

There are actually 36 carnivorous plant species native to North Carolina, roughly half of all carnivorous plant species in the United States are found in North Carolina! I added the carnivorous plant detail because that’s something I love about the state. We have so many fucking bugs that the plants keep evolving to eat them.

I love that giant man eating Venus flytraps are worldbuilding staples in untamed tropical fantasy settings but they’re actually native to a small region in the Carolinas.

[byjove]

And I agree with the notes, the Chesapeake Bay + Great Dismal Swamp (partially in NC anyway) and the South Carolina Lowcountry would be good geographic additions to this.

[spacetimeaccordionfolder]

Look. Sometimes you've just got to tie up that protagonist, okay? Factually. It needs to happen. For character reasons. Let's watch how they squirm trying to escape. How their mind works when they can't rely on their body. Do they panic? do they charm? Do they go still? Is it an absolute breeze for them to escape, barely a hindrance? Or are they well and truly contained? How does their face change when they realize that? Does their stoic nature wash away? Turn to pleas and panic, knowing they can't help those they care about? Or do they turn animalistic, growling and snarling and wrenching at their restraints? Shouting threats, fighting with their words? Do they realize they may hurt themself in their struggles and stop or do they not care about that? What happens when you add a gag into the situation? Muffle their cries and threats into incoherent babble. Do they still try to speak or do they get quiet? Study how their mind works in such a situation and learn about them. ...and appreciate the squirming and noises that they make, along the way.