Am I a ghost, then?

Jasper | he/they/ze | im an adult | just a nerdy dude who likes puns and hyperfixates on cartoons n anime a lot | I yell in my tags | background is by @jamiekinosian header is from @happymoomin

[robogrind]

drawings are secretly the enemy because they start off very nice and unassuming but then when they're about 80% done they start emanating a malevolent aura that makes finishing them the scariest activity you can imagine

[prokopetz]

Worldbuilding exercise #137: imagining how answers regarding mildly obscure trivia about your setting's culture, geopolitics, and history would be phrased on a hypothetical episode of Celebrity Jeopardy (which for the purpose of this exercise exists in that world in precisely the same form as it does in ours).

[cappadocius]

[real-language-facts]

well what if i don't want to stress syllables, this world is stressful enough as it is for a small and innocent syllable

[morallygrayautisticscientist]

Rocky thinking Grace literally said “I have to go and die” on one of their first interactions is so funny to me. Like imagine meeting an alien after almost half a century alone and then they go “ah, bad timing, I’m gonna go lay down and never get up. Nice meeting ya! :)”

[for-those-who-wait]

[notquiteaghost]

concept. grace trying to have his cake (prove to rocky this is not the first time in his entire life he's been close to another person) and eat it too (continue to avoid confessing he did not actually volunteer to be on the hail mary) by talking about stratt, the woman in charge of the whole project, very infrequently. five whole sentences the whole journey back to erid. but he talks about eva a lot. eva is his friend. eva worked on the project with him, eva and him spent a lot of time together, he misses her something awful, sometimes rocky reminds him of her. rocky does not need to know eva and stratt are the same person. grace is in no way hoisting a sword up to hover dangerously above his head.

[for-those-who-wait]

Forgetting your friend is both blind and a professional ragebaiter

[macabro]

Small comforts.

[ambrystoma]

Hitting the Jeremy during ur bosses important meetings

[acanfullofspiders]

once a teacher always a teacher

[projectorthus]

Grace sends this off as a "fuck you" to Stratt and unintentionally eases 40+ years of horrific guilt.

(40+ factoring in the Hail Mary mission, then the time it would take to get back to Erid and the time it would take for the message to get to Earth. Probably closer to 50+ actually).

(I do think Stratt felt bad. She did a lot of terrible things to save the planet, and obviously felt guilt for sending Grace off. I imagine the time waiting to hear back from the Hail Mary was torture for everyone, but she essentially sent three people off to their deaths, one unwillingly. Hearing that Grace made it out alive would be a huge weight off her shoulders.)

[for-those-who-wait]

He's cooked, don't get attached

[kit-screams-into-the-void]

i don’t see the resemblance

bonus carl outtake:

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[knownqueerbaiter]

idk who needs to hear this but it’s healthier for you to just accept that you’re gonna be kinda fat than it is to live the rest of your life miserably trying to monitor yourself to maintain a skinny weight your body doesn’t want to hold onto

[luffycentric]

young and curious

[lesbianshepard]

if an archaeologist says an artifact was probably for “ritual purposes” it means “i have no fuckin clue”

but if they say it was for “fertility rituals” they mean “i know exactly what it was for but i dont want to say ‘ancient dildo’”

[thecringeandwincefactory-deacti]

Back in the day I worked at a certain very famous and very high caste art museum in the US as a junior curator. Part of my job was to catalog the objects in the museum database. This includes details like provenance, measurements, and a visual description of what the object looked like.

Like I said, the museum was a pretty snotty institution. It’s got a LOT of objects it’s way famous for possessing, but nobody knew about the absolutely massive collection of Moche erotic pottery it had because the curators were totally embarrassed by this stuff.

Some examples:

Pretty hot shit, right? They never, ever put any of this stuff on public view or published it in any catalogues but - we legit had like several hundred pieces of Moche ceramics in the “dirty pots” category. Anyway, I was left alone to just do my job with regard to the database for several years, ok? And I figured, well, these’re accessioned objects in the museum’s collection - better get down to bidness. 

I catalogued every goddamn bestiality, necrophiliac, cocksucking, buttfucking, detached penis, and giant vulva drinking cup in that collection. I’d be like, 

A drinking vessel in form of a standing man wearing a tunic and cap. He holds an oversized erection in his hands and stares into the distance (note I did not say “like he’s hella-constipated”). The vessel has a hole at both the tip of the penis as well as around the rim of the figure’s head, thus forcing the drinker to drink only from the penis or risk spilling wine all over themselves from the top of the vessel. Red and orange slip covers the surface of the piece.

Pretty straightforward, right? Apparently the deep seated fear of these objects that the curators exhibited was meant to spread to me as well, but - no one ever gave me that memo, because I guess Midwesterners reproduce asexually. When the curators understood that I had catalogued all of these objects in addition to the other, non-sexy pieces in the collection, they were apparently livid, but knew they had no legs to stand on in terms of getting pissed at me for it. 

I visited the museum’s online public access database a few years back and - every single description I wrote of these pieces has been totally neutered to say something like Male figural vase. 

Long story short? Just call a dildo a fucking dildo. It’s all gonna be ok, I swear.

[workfornow]

This is absolutely the MOST unusual reblog I have ever tagged with what is probably my second-favorite tag, “talk to me about your work.”

Plus it’s hilarious.

[cloudfreed]

I love ancient art history !!!!!

[clockshunddachshund]

@lowercasetrashwriter

[scrimblobimblobadimbo-deactivat]

Museums should have sections dedicated to artifacts like these with a warning that says “There’s a lot of private parts in here but we’re dedicated to displaying history so we won’t censor these. Enter at your own risk” or something. It’s prudish to deliberately hide history because of some ding dongs.

[dovewithscales]

Fucking Puritanism.

Unpopular opinion: Sex exists. Making body parts taboo is both psychologically bad for us and kinda stupid.

[ceruleana]

It must've already been mind-blowing to Rocky to learn that, yeah humans can just perceive the stars by looking at the night sky. Not that actual stars though, we're technically perceiving the ancient past bc that's how far away the stars are it's basic physics. :) like bro must've been all wtf hello?? But then. To learn that, ohh yes that's how humans used navigate across the oceans of our planet, we looked at the stars and oriented ourselves against them :). Like what kinda mythical BS is that? You measured yourself against the ancient imperceptible parts of the night sky. and trusted that to take you to unexplored parts of the sea? and it worked? Erid doesn't even have a fucking nighttime. No wonder humans are so insane.