@heycreehere - Tumblr Blog

“i love you.” ★☆☆☆☆

“i love you like a second snowfall, but not the first, because the first is always unexpected and i always expected to love you.” ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

fourraccoonsinacoat

*One night at camp.*

Gale: Surprise camp safety drill, everyone! Cultists of the Absolute are attacking, what do you do? Go!

Astarion: Gods below, not this nonsense again.

Gale: Time is wasting, people! What are you doing?

Lae'zel: Chk! I am going to bed. I will not waste my time with hypothetical pondering.

Gale: Alright, Lae'zel has taken an arrow to the face and is dead. Next person!

Astarion: I don't know, I do what any reasonable person would do. I stab them!

Gale: Wrong. They began their attack with archers and you are shot through with arrows before you can get near them. Astarion is dead. Next!

Wyll: Can't Shadowheart just heal them?

Gale: Shadowheart, would you like to heal Lae'zel and Astarion?

Shadowheart: *Considers.* Nah.

Lae'zel: *From her tent.* K'chakhi!

Astarion: I stab Shadowheart.

Gale: The two of you don't get opinions. You're dead. The cultists are now inside camp, what are the rest of you doing?

Durge: I cast fireball.

Gale: You cast fireball...on the camp?

Durge: Well, first I make sure that Scratch and the owlbear cub are at a safe distance, but yeah. I cast fireball.

Gale: Okay. The camp goes up in flames. The cultists are dead, but so are your companions.

Durge: Wonderful. I go to bed and have the most restful and uninterrupted sleep that my broken mind can remember.

*Lae'zel approves.*

- - - -

BG3 Incorrect Quotes Masterlist.

spirulin4

my kids are gonna be like mommy what’s an ipad and i’m going to be like we DONT use that word in this house. play with worms.

whiplash1-10

The popularity of ships like Aziraphael/Crowley and Ed/Stede makes so much sense because it’s the classic good boy meets bad boy except this time the bad boy is also a good boy, the good boy is insane actually, and both boys are middle aged men

unearthlydust

Ed Teach + tied-up hair

OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH

pallidprincess

tiktok is such an awful app, it's almost designed to feed you misinformation and expose you to insane discourse. unlike beloved tumblr, the app that feeds me misinformation and exposes me to insane discourse

pallidprincess

lierdumoa

No, no, no, you see on tiktok an algorithm feeds you misinformation. On Tumblr I feed myself misinformation from my charcuterie board of hand-selected unhinged mutuals.

lierdumoa

None of that mass market junk. Only artisanal, small batch, sustainably cultivated, fair trade horseshit.

gu3rrillag0th

Astarion. The man that you are.

tench

boowish

ambassadorquark

the best britticism is "taking the piss" 100%. no word for this in the president's english

cottageaesthetic

toastbutteregg

pluviatrix

gotham is in new jersey. you can’t pump your own gas in jersey

broosepayne

(Very slight spoiler for The Batman 2022)

Alfred: Bruce we need to meet with the board for the Flood Relief Initiative.

Bruce, curled up in a little wet ball, sitting in a dank corner of the Batcave:

Alfred: Bruce. You need to shower and get dressed right now or you’ll be late.

Bruce:

Alfred, marching over: Dammit, Bruce- *grabs Bruce’s shoulder*

Bruce: *hisses*

Alfred: Shower. The board—do you hear me? What’s that in your ears?

Bruce: *plucks out AirPods* I was in the middle of the Black Parade, Alfred. >:-(

—

Alfred: Bruce you need to eat. Here, I’ve brought you some dinner. I expect you to finish all of this broccoli.

Bruce, huddled under the dining table:

Alfred: Bruce? Get up. You’re not eating on the floor.

Bruce:

Alfred: *taps Bruce’s thigh with his foot*

Bruce, recoiling: Don’t kick me Alfred I’m listening to Muse—

Alfred: Get those headphones out of your ears when I’m talking to you.

—

Alfred: Bruce, Dick needs help with his math homework and I’m not doing it. Get inside.

Bruce: *crouched atop a gargoyle outside his bedroom window, drenched from the rain, face streaked with black greasepaint*

Alfred: Bruce Thomas Wayne. Your ward needs help with his math. Get down from there this instant. Can you hear me? Have you got those bloody headphones in again—

Bruce:

Dick: Don’t worry Al! I’ve got it! *jumps out window, swings up onto Bruce’s shoulders, and pulls the AirPods out*

Bruce: Dick what are you doing we’re twenty stories up—

Dick: *flips back inside, drops the AirPods on the ground and stomps them to bits with his Superman light-up sneakers*

Bruce:

Alfred:

Dick: :) Now you can help me with my math!

#batman #bruce wayne #broose stop #batfamily #batfam #battinson #the batman 2022 spoilers #the Batman 2022 #dick grayson #tiny text bruce #Bruce Wayne is kind of a prick l

i-am-justbeth

Can't stop thinking about Battinson. Never in my life have I understood the "poor little meow meow" thing until I saw this man rock up to breakfast in a massive t-shirt and sweatpants, eat a single blueberry because Alfred told him to, and then put on sunglasses indoors because it was too bright. He tried to wingsuit down from GCPD headquarters, got his parachute caught, hit a bus and a parked car, tumbled through the street, then just stood up and ran away. This man looked like he was on the verge of crying out of sheer awkwardness every time he had to be Bruce Wayne and he still didn't look clean.

He's a dirty, greasy, disgusting little gremlin man and it shows and I love him

#the batman #the batman spoilers #bruce wayne #battinson #poor little meow meow