Perception [Easy: Success] As you scan the aresenal of knowledge at your fingertips, a particular corner of the bookstore catches your eye with its bright, garish tones, a kaleidoscope of soft cardboard spines. Easy to parse phrases written in large lettering occupy them, quaint titles for simple fables.
Conceptualization [Medium: Success] A light of gentle optimism in a dreary world.
1. Is this... appropriate literature for a hard-boiled detective to be reading? Or any adult man for that matter?
2. Approach the shelf and pick up one of the books.
3. Turn your gaze away from the colorful books.
Rhetoric [Easy: Success] Someone of your stature would definitely get a few weird looks if they were caught reading these.
Endurance [Medium: Success] It would be an insult to your manhood.
Authority [Medium Success] It would be an insult to your authority.
1. Approach the shelf and pick up one of the books.
2. Turn your gaze away from the colorful books.
You pull one of the wideset books from its tightly-packed row, the give is oddly supple as you pinch it with two fingers to pull outwards. You see a herd of horses huddled close together in youthful caricature- big eyes, round faces, bright, shiny coats that evoke the colors of candy and rainbows. It's almost too saccharine to bear.
Authority: Don't you dare.
1. Slide the book back into place.
2. [Volition - Medium 10] Read the book.
3️⃣ 5️⃣
CHECK SUCCESS
Volition [Medium: Success] It's in your hands now. Despite its unwieldly proportions it is light and easy to hold, pages limp between the platicine cover. The title is "My Little Pony: MMMystery on the Friendship Express." It is definitely no Dick Mullins.
1. Maybe seeing how another detective does things will help me with the case? Inspiration can come from the most unexpected of places after all.
2. Can the world really be so cheerful and bright if it needs men like me in it, getting bodies down from trees, solving murders? I must read into this further to find out.
3. I just realized this is a dumb book for children. I'm a man and I don't want to read this stupid baby book.
As your eyes dart across the far-spread prose, it dawns on you that the mystery in question has nothing to do with murder. Various mythical creatures are on their way to a baking competition when suddenly under the cover of darkness their confections are bitten into one by one as if by a vicious ambush predator. A bubblegum pink horse with cotton candy hair has taken it upon herself to investigate the crime.
Inland Empire [Impossible: Success] That's you.
1. What?
Inland Empire: That pony is you.
1. Because I am feeble and nobody takes me seriously?
2. Because I take initiative and rise to the occasion?
3. Because I have the utmost respect for the craft of the working man?
4. Because of my unkempt hair and rosey complexion?
5. I am nothing like this little pink horse.
Inland Empire: No, that is literally you. In another life, you were Pinkamena Diane Pie, an apprentice baker, aspiring "Party Pony," and occasionally, an investigator and enforcer of the cosmological status quo, the greatest law there is; the law of friendship and laughter.
Logic [Easy: Failure] Considering all you've witnessed thus far, reincarnation and worlds where horses talk and bake cakes isn't very far fetched.
1. Party Pony... I like the sound of that.
2. This is crazy. There's no way that such an innocent, gossamer equine could become the broken thing I am right now.
3. I think I just relate to this character a lot. We like a lot of the same things, we have similar struggles in life. It isn't anything more than that.
You try to deny it. As you stare into the round pools of Pinkamena's eyes they become a reflection. You see the manic-depressive, mentally unstable fuck up drowning their problems in life's small pleasures. You see just another small, weak creature doing the best they can in the world with the burden that is life. You see someone trying futilely, desperately to be a good detective.
Composure [Easy: Failure] A single tear rolls down your cheek.
Espirit De Corps [Medium: Success] The lieutenant blinks, eyebrows briefly knitting as he takes a steady breath. His lips want to move but he stops himself. This is out of concern, compassion and to save you the embarrassment of drawing attention to the fact that you've been standing there, weeping over a children's book.
1. "Kim, I think someone wrote this book about me."
2. "I miss them. I miss them all so much, Kim. I'm never going to see them again."
3. "It's just... so sad that all those pastries would go to waste."
4. "I wish we weren't investigating a murder right now."
5. "I'm not crying right now. I'm not a lost little pony stuck in this cruel, fucked up world. I'm a big man, a big detective with a big dick. I am the law. You hear me? I. Am. The Law."
In a rare moment, Lieutenant Kitsuragi draws closer than the usual distance of four paces away from you. He reaches his hand behind you with caution. Two firm pats on the back.
Espirit De Corps: He's seen these moments happen before, fellow officers breaking down after all the blood, the bodies, the sins of the wicked displayed to them like a macabre centerfold finally catches up with them. You sense an air of disapproval for losing yourself but much more than that, pity. He wonders if maybe some day, it will be him crying over the children's section in a musty corner of a book store.
Kim Kitsuragi - "I agree, but... someone has to do it."
Volition [Trivial: Success] You can get through this, you've come this far.
Inland Empire: Don't worry Pinkie Pie, just one more case. Just one more case and then you can go back to baking cakes and throwing parties for your friends and the local townsfolk.
1. Maybe it'll be a celebration for solving the murder. I can see it now: "Case Solved" written in blueberry frosting. It's going to be so much fun.
2. That is not who I am.
👤
THOUGHT GAINED:
FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC
