im fucking crying
we're not kids anymore.
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@theartofmadeline

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@highspeedearth
im fucking crying
this tweet hasn't left my mind once in the two years since it's been posted
One of my favorite things about Put Baby In Pelican Mouth is that not only does the pelican have the intelligence necessary to speak human language but also knows how to lie, suggesting it has a theory of mind, yet not enough to understand that no one is going to put baby in pelican mouth.
To be entirely fair to the pelican, I have seen humans do much, much dumber things with their infants. The park rangers in Louisiana ha e to regularly tell people to not put their babies on the ground next to the gators for a pic.
In fact, it could be argued that the peculiar grammar used by the pelican in the Put Baby In Pelican Mouth post is deliberate, like how phishers use major grammar errors in their messages so that people too smart for the scam (or smart enough to report them) ignore the emails and the scammer can focus on the most likely marks.
Regardless, the pelican is right: there is absolutely someone dumb enough to put a baby in its mouth because it asked politely. Probably dozens on that beach alone.
Put baby in pelican mouth for Instagram photo. Facebook photo of baby in pelican mouth for many likes and also happy asleep baby. So cute baby in pelican mouth for video on TikTok. Youtube short of baby so cute in soft pelican mouth for so many views to Youtube channel. Baby in pelican mouth challenge.
UFO Photograph ~ Switzerland (1975) by Billy Meier ~ The flying saucer that would later hang in Fox Mulder’s office
the new dj crazytimes song … now that’s what I call music!
every year I post this meme and every year people get more mad at me than they did the previous year
And every summer I get reminded that we have only a single choice if we want to survive
been thinking about what makes a good hobby and i cant stop thinkin about that one lady who just buys all the same pokemon card of that one guy who has a visible butthole like she had binders and binders full
i want what she has
I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?
Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasn’t anything particularly “foxlike” about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be “weird”, but I don’t think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.
The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.
there are only two genders: frog and pig
I’ve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy’s kids are like that means either
1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR
2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children
yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology
oh god
Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it
Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?
Just wanted to show u guys that in Muppets Most Wanted, Piggy fantasizes about her and Kermit having babies and this is what they look like
So do with that what you will
Recall that in The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit and Fozzie are brothers. And this was their dad (right):
Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha
I, for one, think Shrek handled interspecies coupling the best. By this I am of course talking about the Dronkeys.
In season 3 of BoJack Horseman, we learn Diane (middle) has been impregnated by Mr. Peanutbutter (left). The fetuses are confirmed to be puppies.
This is the worst addition to this post
I am reminded of Treasure Planet.
In which Captain Amelia (left), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic cat, had hybrid babies with Doctor Doppler (middle), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic dog, whom also gave birth to the babies
I always thought that in muppet movies like muppet Christmas Carol the characters are played by the muppets (so kermit is acting and playing the role of Bob rather than being him) so the kids in that film would just be other acting muppets right?
Or is that just something my brain made up?
Last time I saw this post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at the second Eggman
Last time I saw this
post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at
the second Eggman
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
anyone in this thread smoke weed
In Leo the Lion (2005) a lion and elephant have the most cursed hybrid children and I think yall should see them
(also Matt Mercer voices the villain, Maximus Elefante and I think that’s very important)
I think that what they are talking about is perfectly clear.
Amogus
World Heritage Post
once again I am on the hunt for glasses for weird little freaks, but this time I've found some cool ones pretty easily! so in case anyone else is looking, I stumbled across some real weird and gay frames at all of these sites:
eyeshells aoolia zeelool lakoh vooglam lens alter
like, eyeshells in particular has a startlingly vast collection of asymmetric glasses:
(this isn't even all of them)
and also this steampunk nonsense that I love so fucking much and cannot justify spending any money on:
while aoolia has...tbh a lot of the frames the other sites have, but more expensive, but also, a collection of the gayest people you've ever seen:
though tbh not nearly as gay as whatever lens alter has going on:
and vooglam has uhhh...whatever this is!
huh.
(I can't vouch for any of these companies ofc, though I think I'll get something from at least one of them. ideally not the slime glasses, but hey!)
but honestly the absolute best thing I found in all of this is this site that makes vintage fashion, and which happened to have:
these replica victorian railway glasses like the bisexual guy in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter had, AND WHICH
you can even buy with prescription lenses, jesus fucking christ you have no idea how hard it is to not immediately drop $180 on this shit, I'm having to physically restrain myself, I want them so fucking bad
and hey, if you don't need prescription lenses, y'know what else you can buy from this site?
the glasses from national treasure 😭😭
anyway, I'm having a gr8 time! and now I know I can definitely find glasses that are weird enough for my very high standards
phm is decently popular in japan and i mostly see this when i check twitter and see accounts posting pictures of handmade rocky plushies that are so fucking round looking it brings a tear to my eye
he keeps me sane
Dude... allow me to add to your trove.
I have a folder of these on my phone... I'm not sure what that says about me!
Thanks, tumblr mobile, for unintentionally making this even funnier
Just as I said, “is this ever going to load?” One gif loaded and honestly it answered my question perfectly.
Together they create the full set.
saw this again on my dash after reblog and…
tumblr black out poetry
My mans unlocked a higher level of synesthesia