Hortense

i have no idea how to use tumblr 

[andy-gendreau]

Fan art of the manga My Hero Academia (Kōhei Horikoshi) made for my brother’s birthday. It was a nice moment to draw dynamic poses and have fun eheh

[babyanimalgifs]

“Deers synchronized hops through our yard this morning”  

(Source)

[mrkanman]

king minos: get this monster out of my sight!! put it in a labryinth so i never have to look at it again!! gods holy fuck!!!

the minotaur, born like a day ago:

[comrade-bastard-deactivated2024]

yo why do adults try to tell middle schoolers not to dye their hair or cut it weird or dress strange. Middle school is the most miserable time of anyone’s life, let them have fun and get a mohawk or something. They don’t have colleges to impress or a boss to worry about. They’re 12. Let them be less miserable with their blue hair and bad fashion (so long as it’s weather appropriate! I don’t want anyone wearing only a tshirt and jeans in winter!!!) It won’t kill you to let your kid exercise some control over their appearance that literally will not follow them their whole lives. Who cares if your kid wants to wear unprofessional clothes. They’re a kid, they don’t need to be professional.

[niggazinmoscow]

OH WOW THIS IS BEAUTIFUL 

[instinctivelyintuitive-deactiva]

YALL THERES MORE

[imoverallofit]

They’re both so pretty

[prostheticknowledge]

Dildo Generator

Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….

Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).

Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here

[johnnystompanado-deactivated201]

the time is now

[susaine-mcswiney-deactivated201]

hell yeah

[defibrinationsyndrome]

ah yes, the ol rolling pin dilda

[spiffymuffin]

[caterjunes]

it’s called the purple ramjet

[jolys]

which end do you start with? the answer is yours to decide

[grillmasterxbbq]

shove a vase up your ass

[lord-kitschener]

not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls

[fan-troll]

i call it the matterhorn

[poultrymancy]

cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through

[darklightescape]

i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises

[teapotsahoy]

of course this is the post where tumblr is like “Seems sfw to me!”

[furiousfran]

I call this one the Megahorny

Just cram an entire table lamp up there

[ifitaintbaroque]

Me every time this post crosses my dash:

[rosegardenmassacre-deactivated2]

My laugh at this post is auditory evidence of just how sick I still am.

[prettyyinpunk]

Plate. 

[littlestpersimmon]

Vincent

[inritum]

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

[ghostdog07]

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

[deathklaue]

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

[doryishness]

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

[victoriaringsinyourears]

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

[lenshade]

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

[themixedbagofwhat]

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

[wodkat]

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

[acstiel]

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

[juststrokemyglabella]

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

[adweeb-deactivated20160228]

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

[mydeadcarcass]

I WISHED FOR SNK MERCH THE FIRST TIME. I GOT A JACKET.

I WISHED FOR MY GIRLFRIEND THE SECOND TIME. I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

[openyourthird-eye]

THIS WORKs I WISHED I WAS MOVING TO NORTH CAROLINA AND GUESS WHAT GUYS IM MOVING TO NC IN AUGUST I PROMISE U IM NOT LYING

[ariya-art]

guys ok ur probably thinking that this is all just bs right? WELL I THOUGHT SO TOO BUT I WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD CHAT ME AND HE DID AND IM FREAKING OUT not even kidding i swear on my grampas grave this works

[haihl-blog]

I love this it always works for me yey thank u shooting star :’)

[phoxae]

woah the notes let’s hope my wish comes true

[teaboot]

The Male Chivalry fandom absolutely ruins their pants over the Defending A Woman’s Honor trope but cannot comprehend the Woman Defends Her Own Honor scenario and that’s why strong female characters get dumped on

[teaboot]

Man punches a man who catcalls me on the street? A hero. A role model. I should marry him. I punch a man who catcalls me on the street? Overreaction. Crazy SJW feminist. It was a compliment. Why do we glorify violence. I’m the real bad guy

[teaboot]

Kinda makes you wonder if my honor is really the motive here tbh

[teathattast]

[lovstrucmoved]

[tchaikovskaya]

being in ur 20s really is like *looks in the mirror* so i guess this is the most attractive i’ll ever be :/

[regularlesbian]

no. recognize your milf potential

[marvel-lous-things]

Bartender: thanks for stopping that bar fight, spiderman. Can I get you a drink? It’s on the house

Peter: thank you, but I can’t

Bartender: why not

Peter:

Bartender:

Peter, trying not to give his age away: I’m pregnant

[eldritchcannon]

Bartender, shook: oh, congratulations, boy or girl?

Peter, now in full-on panic mode: it’s an uh, spider

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

okay this reminded me of the strongest human being (I use that label with some reservation) I have ever met and I still think about him like once a week because about 4 years ago on Thanksgiving night my sister, cousin, and I were going to pick up a friend about a 40 minute drive from home, and I got lost and tried to turn around on a little gravel pull-off on the side of the road, but my front tires got stuck in the snow.

we were in the middle of nowhere with no cell reception, and the only sign of life was a single, completely dark house across the road from us.

We all did our best to push the car out, and we’re strong people, but we couldn’t make it budge. Cold and stuck, we climbed back and wondered what to do. A car full of men pulled over beside us and asked if we needed help, but getting out of our locked car on a backroad at night with strange men felt like a bad idea, so we said a tow was coming and waved them along. We did that twice before finally deciding our only option was to accept the next offer for help and just risk it,

when a man came out of the house across the street.

He’d clearly been watching us and figured out why we’d been lying to people, which really surprised me & he said “it’s okay, you can stay in your car and keep the doors locked. Just start backing up when I say so.”

I had the window cracked and told him “it’s too stuck. There’s no way we’re getting out. Could you call a tow?”

And he said “just back up when I say so.”

So he walked around the front of the car, squatted, and said “okay back up,”

and I did, and

he lifted

the front of the car Into The Air. Off its front wheels, and we backed up while he essentially wheel-barrowed us back onto the road.

And we were honest to god yelling. We couldn’t help it. We just yelled until all four wheels were back on the ground and he was waving us off while we thanked him.

And then I looked at my sister and cousin & said “he REALLY told us we can KEEP our doors locked as if THAT WOULD’VE FUCKING STOPPED HIM!!!! As if he couldn’t have just RIPPED EM OFF THE HINGES.”

I later looked up the weight of my car, and it’s 3200 pounds without anything or anyone in it.

This haunts me.

[soratayuya]

the power of respecting women

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

this is the only valid response on this post

[thenordroom]

Cabin in the woods | photos by Alice Saunders

THENORDROOM.COM - INSTAGRAM - PINTEREST - FACEBOOK

[bogleech]

If you have billions of dollars it shouldn’t be a crime to steal from you. You’ve got enough money that your security should be your own responsibility and anyone who manages to swipe from your hoard deserves applause for besting a supervillain

[megalunalexi-aesthetic]

Over a billion and you reach the social connotations that dragons have, as in stealing from you is considered a Challenge rather than a Crime

[blackgirloutrage2-blog]

PAY ATTENTION! This is how you weed out the men who deserve your time and the ones that don’t. These dudes are literally telling you who they are, but y'all refuse to listen. Your safety comes first.

[dynastylnoire]

I’m in a FB group where dudes 30 and older were having full tantrums over this post. These are the same guys that admit:

Not deleting nudes post break up

Not believing when women that were sexually assaulted

Not believing sex with a partner that is sleeping is rape

Etc.

Please do not date people that take issue with your protecting yourself.

[adreamdeferred]

i deadass took a picture of my dates license and sent to my homegirls in the gc. and turned on my location. yea you cool but it’s always about me and my safety.

[dandridgegirl]

Men who aren’t trash should already know this is commonplace. One of my last dates even offered to take a picture together for my safety text.

[furbytheminx]

Men who get mad when women try to protect themselves are just telling on themselves, nothing more.

[on-your-knees-darling]

All you people out there talking about “spreading my private information” like you don’t drive around with your liscense plate out there for everyone and their mom to see all day every day. Sit down. Shut up. She didn’t ask for your social security number you absolute acorn. Your plates are public knowledge.

[darksilenceinsuburbia]

Conrad Jon Godly