[20:41] It must’ve cost him a fortune.
The silver ring gleams achingly bright under the white, artificial light of the restaurant. It taunts you, the enormous diamond sparkling brilliantly, as if telling you of all the opportunities and chances you could have if you’d just say yes. Donghyuck’s hands still quiver, even after placing the now opened velvet box down on the table. You can hear his shaky breaths, knowing well of the nervousness filling his body to the brim. Taking a heavy breath, you rip your eyes away from the future he offers you, looking at him instead, his eyes ever so hopeful and shining with promise.
“What happened to the other ones?” you ask quietly.
His breathing stutters and the breath he lets out fills you with heartache- with shame and guilt.
“I- I thought that- maybe you, you didn’t like them…” he whispers, averting his gaze down. “That- that it’s why you keep turning me down.”
You bring your eyes back to the velvet box in front of you, eyeing it with spitefulness. Your eyes sting with tears, but you fight back the sob building in the back of your throat.
The rings he offered you before were simpler. They were his style, something you could see he thought long and hard about. They were always rose gold, with intricate designs, laced with tiny jewels, dainty and beautiful, all of them with his and your initials engraved on the inner side. But this in front of you- this isn’t him. He isn’t flashy or extravagant. He doesn’t like big diamonds and all that bling-bling. He hates that. He likes simplicity and elegance. He hates being called pretentious, hates being too bold. His money doesn’t define him, he says.
“Can’t you consider this as love?” he breathes out, looking up at you with pained eyes. Tear glisten in his eyes and he continues, his voice soft and ringing with desperation. “I know it may seem like I cling hopelessly to you.”
“But we’ve been there for each other, through the highs and lows, through every storm that was thrown our way. We’ve been there for each other for- for so long. I know you more than I know myself, Y/N.”
“Isn’t that already love? Our type of love?” he asks heartbreakingly, tears finally spilling down onto his cheeks. “Don’t you love me too, Y/N?”
You don’t answer. You do love him. Your love for him goes beyond measure. But your heart doesn’t belong to him. Your heart doesn’t skip a beat when you see him like it does for Mark. It doesn’t stop and stand still every time you hold his hand like it does for Mark. It doesn’t burst for him like it does whenever Mark smiles and laughs. You love Donghyuck so much, you do, but your heart will never beat for him the way he’d like it to.
“I can give you everything, Y/N. I’ll take care of you. Of your family.” he bargains with sorrow, despair evident in every way. “You wouldn’t need to work a single day. You wouldn’t need to lift a single finger.”
“Please think about it,” he says, his breath catching once more.
“I’ll give you all the time you need-” his voice cracks with want, but you think about Mark and Donghyuck’s bargains are met with a wall. “I-I- I’ll wait as long as yo-”
You press the lid down on the box in front of you, hiding the ring from your sight, but you keep your eyes on it, knowing if you look at the boy in front of you, you’ll break as well.
“You know what my answer is, Donghyuck.”
His soft cries ring loudly in your ears. He knows. He knows you’ll break his heart over and over again. He knows his fantasy of a love so beautiful, with you as his, is all it will ever be. A fantasy.
But Donghyuck would gladly spend his entire lifetime reaching for that fantasy, and you don’t know if he’ll ever accept the fact that your fates are not entwined.
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