hrtwt is something else…. we over here waiting on our shane of the day and they got ppl faking their deaths
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hrtwt is something else…. we over here waiting on our shane of the day and they got ppl faking their deaths
i love love loooove 'better than the fucking yankees' because shane's not just some hockey-obsessed jock, he's a straight up jock across the board. he's an all-rounder!!! he's a hockey player, and hockey players literally spend like 80-90% of their time talking about all the other sports they're watching. he watches sportscenter like it's the nightly news, has the baseball on in the background all summer. he's showing up at the olympics for sports simply because he knows the athletes, and as a top canadian athlete with his level of marketing and sponsorship, he's met and knows A Lot of athletes. he's getting invited to grand slam tournaments. he's reading all those high performing athlete biographies. he has an opinion on who's going to win the super bowl, who looks good in the nba, which teams will do best in the world cup, who's in form for the masters. in tlg he's participating in the great canadian pastime of putting on some late night australian rugby/aussie rules just for the sake of having some live sports running in the background. he and ilya put the tennis on later in the book for the same reason. that boy is a fucking jock!!!
I just imagine that once they're on the same team Hollanov aren't really interested in like romantic PDA, but they are VERY interested in being physical with each other in the way athletes are. The first time Shane knocks helmets with him on the way into the tunnel, Ilya freezes, smiling with so much delight that Bood has to be like "Tighten up Cap! You see him all the time!" The first time Ilya snaps a towel at Shane has him laughing like Ilya is a physical comedy genius. The first time Shane chirps Ilya for missing a pass on the power play and Ilya puts him in a headlock to mess up his hair and then they start roughhousing like kids they both get so hard in their pants they better thank god for jock straps and cups. Like, this is their language. Camaraderie, fraternity, chirps, roasting, wrestling—now they get to have it together, for once.
On-ice things too!
fist bumps at the boards when one of them scores
Ilya getting to yell at the ref on Shane's behalf when he takes a cheap hit
Shane giving the hardest check of his career to the d-man that gave Ilya a minor concussion in the last game against them. The guy practically backflips but he's fine and the gif of Shane's snarling face goes viral
When Ilya loses a blade on the power play one time Shane's the closet one who can tow him to the bench (this goes VERY viral)
SICK PRETTY SHOTS on said power play, showing the world how fucking stupid everyone was to allow them to get on the same team
Real Hockey Fans who know real details should add more!
Okokok if I may :)
Locker Room / Bench
Guys tape everything—wrists, fingers, knees, ankles—and Ilya having strong opinions about how Shane tapes his wrists wrong and physically taking his hand and redoing it. It takes forever. You have to hold the wrist, keep tension on the tape. Shane spending the entire time staring at his face like he's having a religious experience.
The thing where your teammate finishes taping your stick because you're still messing with your skates. Deeply domestic. Completely normal hockey behavior. Ilya doing it for Shane without asking because he knows exactly how Shane likes his blade wrapped from years of studying him as an opponent. Shane does not Trust anyone else to even touch his stick
Ilya starts stealing Shane's sticks during morning skate and refusing to give them back until Shane physically wrestles them out of his hands.
Sharing a water bottle on the bench. Deeply unsanitary. Completely normal. Something you only really do with guys you're comfortable around. Ilya grabbing Shane's by mistake the first week and Shane not even mentioning it.
The thing where after a bad loss nobody talks. The room is silent except for tape ripping and gear getting packed away. Ilya sitting down next to Shane, shoulders touching, and saying absolutely nothing. Somehow that's the most anyone has said all night.
Sharing an iPad on the bench, shoulder-to-shoulder, drawing routes on the screen with gloved fingers. One of them grabbing the other's arm to point something out and not letting go because they're both still watching the clip.
The full-body lean that happens after a brutal shift. Just putting your entire weight onto the guy next to you because you're too tired to hold yourself up. Ilya doing it once without thinking and Shane automatically widening his stance to take the weight.
Ilya grabbing Shane's elbow during a TV timeout and physically moving him six inches to the left so he can see the whiteboard. Shane just lets himself be repositioned.
Guys smacking each other on the ass after a good play is so normalized in hockey it's practically invisible. The first time Ilya does it to Shane they both feel like they're getting away with something.
The way players grab the backs of each other's necks to get their attention. The way they grab cages to be heard over crowd noise. Ilya catching Shane by the visor and pulling him closer until they're practically nose-to-nose to say something, and Shane immediately going still.
Getting your jersey number called for a penalty and having to go to the box and your linemate skating you over, just a hand between the shoulder blades guiding you to the box door, and Shane doing this for Ilya once and Ilya looking back at him through the glass from the penalty box and Shane just tapping his own chest twice like I've got it, go sit down (I realize they're both centers but maybe occasionally Ilya plays wing, like mentioned about All-Stars in that bed convo w Sveta)
The two of them coming back to the bench after a shift and immediately starting to explain what they saw at the exact same time. "The weak-side D keeps cheating—" "I know, if we swing lower—" Neither of them stops talking. Somehow they're still having the same conversation.
Every winger they've ever played with eventually develops the same thousand-yard stare while Shane and Ilya spend an entire TV timeout discussing a faceoff they already won three minutes ago.
On The Ice
The thing about Shane being able to look completely bored while doing something physically absurd. Ilya being one of the only people who's ever been able to tell the difference between Shane coasting and Shane being fully locked in because he's spent years reading him from the other bench.
Now he reads him from the same bench. At some point Ilya realizes he can tell whether Shane is nervous by whether his right leg is bouncing. Shane is Hockey Jesus and therefore never nervous about himself, obviously. But teammates doing stupid shit? Suddenly the leg is going.
Shane automatically skates over to grab the extra guy after every scrum because nobody gets to cross-check Ilya except him.
The first month they accidentally keep ending up in the same support lane in the neutral zone. Both of them trying to do the responsible center thing on the breakout, swinging to provide an outlet, reading the same play developing and arriving in the same spot. One goes low to support the defenseman. The other is already there. It takes a month of bumping into each other before they stop thinking the exact same thought at the exact same time.
pThe breakout where Ilya is supposed to be the outlet but gets tied up on the wall. He manages to free one arm and taps his stick twice on the ice. Don't go middle. Go wide. Shane reads it instantly.
At some point they've developed an entire private language of stick taps that nobody else understands.
When the power play isn't working, they have entire conversations between whistles that are maybe thirty percent words and seventy percent stick taps, glove grabs, shoulder shoves, and pointing at patches of ice.
The Ovi-Backstrom thing, neither of them is permanently Ovi and neither of them is permanently Backstrom. Some shifts Shane is the shooter. Some shifts Ilya is. Some shifts they're both trying to set the other guy up. Figuring out who's who isn't really a system so much as a running conversation.
Shane pinching at the blue line, which coaches have spent his entire life trying to discourage. Ilya rotating back to cover before Shane has fully committed to the pinch. Making the decision for him before he's made it himself.
The first time they line up together for a defensive-zone draw and Ilya casually puts a hand on Shane's back and shifts him six inches to the right. It's not even a weird thing. Players reposition each other all the time. Shane still short-circuits because nobody has ever moved him before. He's always been the one directing traffic.
Shane taking a defensive-zone draw because it's on his strong side. Ilya automatically drifting to the wing. No discussion, no ego, just both of them recognizing what gives them the best chance to win possession.
Which is maybe the strangest thing about them. They've both spent their entire lives being THE centerman. The guy the play runs through. The guy who takes the draw. The guy who decides. And now they keep finding themselves yielding little pieces of territory to each other without even thinking about it.
They both tap their sticks on the ice in the exact same rhythm before a faceoff. Someone points it out. They deny it with suspicious speed. (They are the Exact Same People It's Creepy).
Both of them mutter constantly during games. To themselves. To the puck. To nobody. For years they did it from opposite benches. Now they're muttering at each other halfway through shifts, sometimes English, sometimes Russian, and their wingers genuinely cannot tell whether they're communicating or just happening simultaneously.
The line change where Shane is jumping over the boards and Ilya is coming off and for one second they have to occupy the exact same piece of ice. A hand on an elbow. A shove at the hip, crawling over each other. Alternatively, one of them trying to get on the bench where the other is already sitting, and like missing a little, so now Shane's dragging Ilya over the railing by the back of his jersey like a feral alley cat
Shane bodychecking Ilya into the boards during practice and then immediately grabbing his jersey to make sure he's still upright.
Ilya scores goals that look psychic because he knows where Shane is going before Shane does. The back-door tap-in where Shane hasn't even looked at him yet and Ilya is already there, stick on the ice, because he read Shane's shoulder angle and knew the pass was coming. Shane doesn't even have to find him. Ilya is just always in the right place because he's been studying Shane longer than Shane has been studying himself.
Goals / Celebrations
The goal celebration where Shane grabs Ilya's face in both hands and shakes it around viciously.
The chest bump that turns into Ilya holding him there for half a second longer than necessary because they're both laughing too hard.
When one of them gets named first star, the other immediately interrupts the interview by spraying him with a water bottle
Shane grabbing the back of Ilya's helmet and shaking it the way you'd ruffle someone's hair if the helmet wasn't there.
After wins Ilya getting Shane in a headlock and dragging him halfway across the ice.
Video / Meetings
The video session where the coaches are breaking down Ilya's one-timer and Shane keeps quietly finishing the explanation because he's spent years trying to defend against it. Ilya turning around to stare at him. Everyone else in the room already grinning, Shane having absolutely no idea what is funny.
Shane flicking the back of Ilya's helmet every time he says something stupid during film review.
Both of them are notorious video guys, which means they keep accidentally finding themselves alone in the video room after practice. At some point they stop pretending it's an accident.
The power-play meeting where the coach draws something up on the whiteboard and Shane reaches over, moves the bumper route two feet, and looks at Ilya. Ilya nods. The coach just sighs and updates the diagram because unfortunately they're right.
shane is such a terrifying captain & i feel like nobody talks abt this. ive seen maybe 2 fics that did this well tops.
he's not bro-ey & brotherly the way roz is. he's a child prodigy, runs a tight ship, efficient as fuck, Hockey Jesus AND plays in montreal (habs lore) so the city does in fact think he can turn water to wine they have sanctified him, & only social enough to keep the respect of his team, so mostly the vets anyway. he dishes advice bluntly & matter of fact, not rude but it's like that's it end of convo. what i say goes bc it DOES. above all this man does not want to be fucking embarrassed, esp not by teammates playing like it's amateur hr. his rooks prob stutter out half sentences around him, get nervous when he approaches them, he is INTIMIDATING but not on purpose!!!1!1!!
M’lord be it gay if I doth touch lance tips with Ser Gawain?
Personally I do think that sometimes non-hockey fans can end up mischaracterizing Shane and Ilya because they don't know enough about hockey/hockey playstyles
The Ilya we see in Heated rivalry would not be throwing the first punch, he's not an enforcer. Ilya is a star center and a Pest. He wouldn't be doing his job correctly if he was punching players every other game, it would end up with not enough ice time to let him be the playmaker he's paid to be.
But being a pest can be playmaking! Find a player to bait, emotionally push them just enough that they try to fight you, and then get the fuck out of there before the ref gives you both penalties. This gets your team the power play. There is probably someone on Ilya's line dedicated to helping him get out of the fights he starts, and finishing them for him!
I also think this is also something that Shane would respect. Ilya is good at it and it's a good strategy for his team. I don't think Shane would see it as some dirty tactic, because Shane probably thinks everyone with a brain can see it for what it is! He probably thinks everyone should be able to see that being an asshole is a tactic for Ilya, that it's something to ignore and not fall for, that it's a strategy and not personal beef.
I think Shane's more disappointed when a Metro falls for it. Shane sees it as Ilya set up a Looney Toons ass obvious trap and one of his teammates ran into it. Why be mad at Bugs Bunny when you can be mad at your defenceman for falling for a fucking Bugs Bunny trap.
HEATED RIVALRY GIF MEME ➤ [1/2] relationships
Just making use of my free will
Inspo🖼:The Meeting on the Turret Stairs
Heated Rivalry, p. 137
i truly do have so much to say about ilya’s bisexuality i’m just so bad at actually articulating it but
the way that people frame it as if him choosing shane means he’s not attracted to women anymore, or that he’s not attracted to anyone except shane anymore
the way people act like it would’ve been so easy for him to just choose to end up with a woman instead as if the only thing a bisexual person could possibly care about in a partner is 1. can i fuck them 2. can i avoid homophobia
the way people pathologise his history of casual sex to try and make out like it wasn’t his choice and it was never something he actually enjoyed
the way ilya being with women/talking to shane about women during the situationship is seen as inherently more slutty and fuckboy-esque than if he’d done the same but with men
the way people act that him choosing shane is proof that he’s actually gay bc no bisexual man would ever choose a man as their long term partner. the way people act like it’s a good thing bc thank god ilya isn’t one of those real bisexuals, the ones who cheat and lie and can never be satisfied with one partner and will always insist on forcing their partner into an open relationship or a threesome
the way ilya won’t read this shit but your bi friends will
bi ilya ❤️ bi monogamous ilya ❤️ bi ilya who loves shane and chose to build a life with him and is committed to him ❤️ bi ilya who is still attracted to women ❤️ bi ilya who is attracted to women more than he’s attracted to men ❤️ bi ilya who’s attracted to shane most of all ❤️ bi ilya who could’ve fallen in love with anyone but he fell in love with shane and chose him over and over again every single time ❤️
quite a few people who are really taking issue with the idea that ilya prefers women to men and i am gonna need you guys to reflect on why that upsets you so much 🤨
top five hugest most blow up fights shane and ilya have while married? pleaseeeeeeeeeee
this is such a beautiful question thank you so much for coming to me with this 🙏 I think most of their fights are like Ilya needling and Shane going, "Do you ever the fuck up?" and then they don't talk for 10 minutes to 2 hours and come back and give half-hearted apologies that are mostly more because they are embarrassed than actually because they're actually sorry, but here are my top five actual blow up fights not in any actual order:
Ilya is telling Shane about how he used to skip school on his mama's bad days where she wouldn't be able to get out of bed and make her tea and Shane makes a face and says, "You shouldn't have had to take care of her. You were just a kid."
When Shane finds out Ilya let him win at rummy one time (because he didn't want to play the stupid card game, Hollander) and it deteriorates into yelling about if he let him win here, where the fuck else did he let him win?
Reoccurring blow up fights about Ilya going on medication that usually something like "I don't want to rely on pills for the rest of my life, Shane." "Well its that or I fucking uninstall the locks on the bathroom, Ilya!". These get especially worse after Svetlana visits and lets slip the one time Ilya did swallow a bunch of pills and she had to break down the bathroom door and stick her fingers down his throat when they were 15.
They are already having a fight about something (Shane scheduling a sponsorship meeting on a day off, Ilya telling the Centaurs that he can't go out because Shane won't let him, if Shane is being too hard on Haas, etc.) and Ilya goes, "Why don't you just get on your knees, Hollander?" and Shane is immediately madder than he's ever been in his entire life.
Ilya accidentally sends a money transfer to Alexei (for his niece) from their joint account and when Shane asks about it and Ilya's like, "Oh, sorry that was supposed to be from my account." and Shane's like, "I just don't understand how you can send him money. He's just going to fucking snort it."
"hope next time we play you decide to show up"
"you're starting to sound like him"
yeah ik everyone and their cousin has drawn this but why not me too??
"I'M BISEXUAL. JUST TO BE CLEAR."
Hudson Williams The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon
cackling about the idea of the ottawa team doing challenges for social media because shane's first question would be, "how many did rozanov get?" and ilya's first question would be, "how many did my husband get?" because they want to beat anyone, but they ESPECIALLY want to beat each other
which means that over time, new challenges for each of them get prefaced with, "and your husband has not gone yet" or "your husband got X" because it is a GIVEN that they're going to want to know how the other did so they can try to beat him
and it's really just another point of evidence that at NO POINT did either of them ever consider letting the other person win ANYTHING
you think the motherfuckers locking the FUCK in to catch the most ping pong balls blindfolded are going to let the other win a deciding match for the cup?? be SO fucking for real
KSENIA DANIELA KHARLAMOVA as SVETLANA VETROVA
Heated Rivalry 1x04 — Rose