Hunter Kimberly

Just a nerdy girl with sometimes somewhat good ideas and thinks of herself as funny. Enjoy!

[katestewartt]

Traditional Wilfred Mott wearing antlers Christmas post

[catchymemes]

[morepopcornplease]

i would die for grinch.

[midnightwinterhawk]

I’ve probably shared this before, but..

[retrogamingblog2]

Pokemon Console Posters made by Mylyom

[silverdragon-98]

Today the gävlebocken burnt down and I got some very good news.

Burn the goat for good and riches!!!

[thatlittleegyptologist]

[midnight-dice]

[chilewithcarnage]

[andhumanslovedstories]

Do you ever think about how staggeringly in bad taste it is that Gandalf brought a firework that turns into Smaug to Bilbo’s birthday party

Like how were you hoping that would go

[bilbobagginsbrainrotblog]

*gandalf voice* so bilbo lived to be 111 huh? it would be a shame if someone or something caused him to go into c a r d i a c a r r e s t

[rohirric-hunter]

Gandalf: I’m still not a hundred percent sure that magic ring is artificially extending Bilbo’s life, so let’s run some tests.

[whetstonefires]

i would note that bilbo was the only person at the party not even slightly alarmed, so possibly gandalf just knows him well

[missoyashirou]

“You know what would be the greatest gift I could give Bilbo on his 111th birthday? Making Lobelia and Otho Sacksville-Baggins shit their pants at the party.” 

[katistrophe]

@overthinkinglotr

[punkconcert]

John Mulaney, a true ADHD icon

[somewhat-honest-abe]

I love how he gave this bit at an autism benefit because it is also a heavy Autism Mood™

[gh0sthoodie]

This is the most relatable thing I’ve ever seen.

[vulpeculavolans]

TRANSCRIPT:

JOHN MULANEY: I normally don’t notice people. I zone out constantly. Have you ever zoned out for a few minutes? I’ve been zoned out since 2014.

AUDEINCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I just - all day long, I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin, listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast. 

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I can zone out anywhere - I was at the doctor’s office, he was reading me the results of a blood test, it was important I listened, and I zoned out! I was like, “nah, I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts”.

AUDIENCE MEMBER WHOOPS

MULANEY: I was like, “huh. None of the Beatles had moustaches… but then one day, all of them had moustaches.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “That’s weird, I can’t think of a time a group has done that”. Some people in my life don’t want me to zone out as much - they want me to focus, and they want me to be in the moment, and they want me to do this by meditating. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried meditating, but I’ve been trying it. This is how you meditate, okay? You sit on the floor with your back perfectly straight, which I hate more than ISIS -

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight! Alright?! It’s never gonna happen! If meditating was sitting hunched over on the toilet with your elbow on your knee while kind of looking at your phone, I’d be the Dalai Lama.  

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight. So you sit up straight, and you breathe, and this helps you stay in the moment. Don’t bother! The moment is mediocre at best!

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I mean, it’s fine. Let’s all try right now - let’s all be in the moment, in silence, right now. [A HALF-SECOND PAUSE] Sucked, right? Not fun at all! 

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: That was boring! You gotta zone out! You have an imagination! You have a movie theatre in your brain that plays fake arguments that you win.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: Have you ever just been sitting there thinking about something for twenty, twenty-five minutes, and all of a sudden you’re like “oh my god, I’m driving!” and you remember? You’re like -

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “I’m going seventy-five miles an hour! I have been for a while! I could’ve changed so many lives!” Sometimes, my wife - I have this wife - she’ll be like, “are you watching the road?” and I’m always like, “I am looking through the windshield.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “And I’m not gonna hit anyone, but no. I’m thinking about the Beatles.”

[whatsitnot]

Hey @vulpeculavolans added a transcript to this AND THAT IS SO AWESOME THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[worstseawitch]

“I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts.” Is my true ADHD/Autism experience lmaoooo

[missmentelle]

This is a big, giant list of Youtube tutorials that will teach you all the basic life skills you need to know in order to be a functional adult. There are a lot of important skills that aren’t included in this list, but this should be enough of a basic guide to get you started and prevent you from making a total mess of yourself. Happy adulting! Household Skills:

How to unclog a toilet without a plunger

How to fix a blown fuse

How to fix a leaky faucet 

How to clean soap scum from your tub and shower

How to escape from a house fire

How to make a budget and stick to it

How to sharpen a knife

How to clean a self-cleaning oven

How to clean red wine stains from carpet

How to clean blood stains from fabric

How to clean grease stains from fabric

How to do a load of laundry

How to iron your clothes

How to test your smoke detectors

Cooking Skills:

How to tell if produce is ripe

How to know if food is expired 

How to properly sanitize a kitchen

How to cook an egg

How to make rice

How to make pasta

How to put out a kitchen grease fire safely

How to use a gas stove

How to use a convection oven

How to cook meat safely

How to use a stand mixer

How to use kitchen knives properly

How to make mashed potatoes

How to make grilled cheese sandwiches 

Health Skills:

How to stop bleeding

How to treat a burn 

How to do CPR (on an adult)

How to do CPR (on a child)

How to do CPR (on a baby)

How to help someone who is choking

How to save yourself if you are choking alone

How to read a nutrition label

How to treat frostbite

How to recognize when someone is having a stroke

How to maintain a healthy sleep schedule

Mental Health Skills:

How to calm down during a panic attack

How to help someone who is suicidal 

How to meditate 

How to stop self-harming

How to recognize problem drinking

How to choose a therapist

How to deal with disappointment

How to cope with grief

How to raise your self-esteem

Relationship and Social Skills:

How to apologize

How to cope with a breakup 

How to accept criticism 

How to deal with bullying 

How to argue in a healthy way

How to ask someone out

How to break up with someone

How to recognize an abusive relationship

How to rekindle a damaged friendship

How to speak in public

Job Hunting Skills:

How to tie a tie

How to write a resume

How to write a cover letter

How to dress for a job interview (for women/femmes)

How to dress for a job interview (for men/masculines)

How to properly shake hands

How to nail a job interview

Other Skills:

How to sew on a button 

How to hammer a nail

How to change your oil

How to put gas in your car

How to jump-start a car

How to pick a good password

How to back up your files

How to write a cheque

[sacrificethemtothesquid]

If there’s ever anything you want that isn’t on this list…youtube it. Everyone always comments on my handiness, but everything I know comes from an old guy and his iphone.

[missmentelle]

This is a big, giant list of Youtube tutorials that will teach you all the basic life skills you need to know in order to be a functional adult. There are a lot of important skills that aren’t included in this list, but this should be enough of a basic guide to get you started and prevent you from making a total mess of yourself. Happy adulting! Household Skills:

How to unclog a toilet without a plunger

How to fix a blown fuse

How to fix a leaky faucet 

How to clean soap scum from your tub and shower

How to escape from a house fire

How to make a budget and stick to it

How to sharpen a knife

How to clean a self-cleaning oven

How to clean red wine stains from carpet

How to clean blood stains from fabric

How to clean grease stains from fabric

How to do a load of laundry

How to iron your clothes

How to test your smoke detectors

Cooking Skills:

How to tell if produce is ripe

How to know if food is expired 

How to properly sanitize a kitchen

How to cook an egg

How to make rice

How to make pasta

How to put out a kitchen grease fire safely

How to use a gas stove

How to use a convection oven

How to cook meat safely

How to use a stand mixer

How to use kitchen knives properly

How to make mashed potatoes

How to make grilled cheese sandwiches 

Health Skills:

How to stop bleeding

How to treat a burn 

How to do CPR (on an adult)

How to do CPR (on a child)

How to do CPR (on a baby)

How to help someone who is choking

How to save yourself if you are choking alone

How to read a nutrition label

How to treat frostbite

How to recognize when someone is having a stroke

How to maintain a healthy sleep schedule

Mental Health Skills:

How to calm down during a panic attack

How to help someone who is suicidal 

How to meditate 

How to stop self-harming

How to recognize problem drinking

How to choose a therapist

How to deal with disappointment

How to cope with grief

How to raise your self-esteem

Relationship and Social Skills:

How to apologize

How to cope with a breakup 

How to accept criticism 

How to deal with bullying 

How to argue in a healthy way

How to ask someone out

How to break up with someone

How to recognize an abusive relationship

How to rekindle a damaged friendship

How to speak in public

Job Hunting Skills:

How to tie a tie

How to write a resume

How to write a cover letter

How to dress for a job interview (for women/femmes)

How to dress for a job interview (for men/masculines)

How to properly shake hands

How to nail a job interview

Other Skills:

How to sew on a button 

How to hammer a nail

How to change your oil

How to put gas in your car

How to jump-start a car

How to pick a good password

How to back up your files

How to write a cheque

[sacrificethemtothesquid]

If there’s ever anything you want that isn’t on this list…youtube it. Everyone always comments on my handiness, but everything I know comes from an old guy and his iphone.

[worldcircus]

Snowstorm followed by a sand storm in Tabuk, Saudi Arabia. (SOURCE)

[yeahiwasintheshit]

THIS IS MONEY PENIS, REBLOG WITHIN 5 MINUTES AND MONEY WILL COME ALL OVER YOU WITHIN 24 HOURS

[prguitarman]

Shoot your money all over my face

[yeahiwasintheshit]

i just posted this stupid thing last night and i swear to god my brother came over today and said oh by the way heres the $300 i owe you. no fucking lie!

[jaimeworks-deactivated20240606]

I need money so why not? Let’s try 😋

[thestarfishdancer]

@meleedamage did you do this???

[delux2222]

“Doing drama is, in a sense, easier. In doing comedy, if you don’t get that laugh, there’s something wrong.”

Happy 99th Birthday, Betty White

[catchymemes]

[morepopcornplease]

i would die for grinch.

[midnightwinterhawk]

I’ve probably shared this before, but..

[docorwho]

M E R R Y  C H R I S T M A S 

[azriona]

It’s not Christmas unless this giftset has appeared on your dash at least five times.

[syrenpan]

It’s back 💕

[lizawithazed]

it’s not christmas without wilf on your dash 

[soaringsearingphoenix]

The worst part of human adulthood is being your own zookeeper

[soaringsearingphoenix]

Like... i have to make sure my meals are nutritionally balanced... i have to make sure that the space i occupy is big enough, and interesting enough, and provide enrichment to make up for the lack of novelty... i have to make sure i get exercise... i'm not qualified for this

[incarnate-clay]

Why would you abandon this in the tags? 

[littlenokia-deactivated20230802]

everyone…just watch this

[felinepurrrstory]

His name is Nino.

[baltdev]

@art–school–wannabe you can’t just leave this in the tags

[formal-leatherjacket]

@sleepnoises