WE ARE NOT THINGS

Cecelia. 29. Multifandom blog. I'm not witty. Check out my AO3 account: eyesandarrows

[rockstar-vamp]

Don’t spoil the odyssey? Brother you’ve had 3000 years to read it

[sunderwight]

Thinking about how Luke basically saves the galaxy with heartfelt diplomacy, and Leia gets to strangle a Tatooine crime lord to death with a giant chain, and given their respective backgrounds probably no one would have correctly guessed which of them would go on to do which deed.

[greelin]

[as if this is not a normal and natural human thing to want] yeah i just really want to connect with people for some reason. Like some weird loser freak

[incorrectstarwarslegendsquotes]

Leia Organa: What the hell were you thinking?

C-3P0: Releasing birds at a wedding is romantic.

Leia Organa: You released ostriches.

[yetanothergreyjedi]

I refuse to believe Threepio would make this mistake. He probably has a chart of which birds are appropriate in which cultures

[i-think-in-metaphors]

Okay but what if that chart said ostriches were appropriate for the planet they were on?

[yetanothergreyjedi]

then Leia is gonna have to listen to a 30 slide PowerPoint about why it was not only an acceptable, but a culturally appropriate and good choice.

not a single slide has any pictures

[darkmaga-retard]

[querulousglare]

If only there were some sort of facility where teenagers could be taught new skills.

[grimthetransman]

Anyway, here's a helpful diagram. When I was hit on the temple this was one of the harder things I had to reteach myself. Don't be shamed into not asking questions, and it's alright if it takes you a while to figure it out. Don't let someone make you feel bad for learning new things, or relearning old ones.

Sometimes, unfortunately, you have to teach yourself. YouTube is a valid option.

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

yeah okay ill reblog that :]

[aqueerkettleofish]

And if you have trouble remembering which hand is which-- the minute hand has to be longer to make it easier to determine the actual minute, while the hour hand can be less exact.

[ficauthor]

[thememedaddy]

[forcearama]

Did the Jedi Order get all of their funding from the Republic, or did they also have to/choose to fundraise? Like what if they decided they wanted a new pool, or the creche needed some improvements, or there was an influx in new children coming into the Temple for a few years and so they needed additional dormitories? What if there was a budget shortfall for a handful of years and so the Republic was like "yeah I dunno what to tell you guys but if you want the archives repainted you're gonna have to get the money from somewhere else".

I bring all this up because all I want in this world is for the Order to host a bunch of charity galas where they very not-subtly trot out people like Obi-Wan and Anakin and parade them around in front of the moneyed upper class of Coruscant. 😄 I need those two assholes dressed to the nines, out there kissing peoples' hands and batting their eyelashes and offering to dance with dazzled old rich people so that the Order can finally get a pool table for the 4th floor community room. You know they'd turn it into a competition to see who can raise the most money, with hilarious results.

[forcearama]

Optional Spins on This/Additions:

* An Anidala & Obitine version where both couples are out for blood in Fundraising and Fashion Superiority

* Obikin version where Anakin almost kills someone for bidding on a dinner with Obi-Wan in the silent auction and eventually has to be taken to a back room and uh, subdued

* Obikin version where Obi-Wan only realizes his feelings after watching Anakin (awkwardly) flirt with other people all night and I dunno, probably shells out some of his own money to dance with him or something disgustingly sweet like that

* Version where every individual Jedi in attendance thinks they're going to raise the most cash, and Grogu quietly raises 100x more than anybody else there just by toddling around and staring at people

* Version where Sheev is the MC for the evening and keeps trying to undermine this whole thing and shit-stir by being like "yes, everyone, if you don't generously donate tonight, how will the Jedi Order maintain their ever-increasing influence and power within the Republic? You know, a lot of people like to say they're a cult, even, just because their...unusual way of life so clearly doesn't mesh with...contemporary society. But obviously *I* don't agree with that. [clears throat] Anyways, you all just use your best judgement when deciding what amount to write on your donation forms" while Mace and Yoda side-eye each other

Also there should be a silent auction and all of it is stuff the Order has made themselves: paintings, sculptures, jewelry, the Order's custom beer brew, 1200 poems Anakin's written about Padme and/or Obi-Wan...

[myboobsaresentientbeeings]

Anakin flirting with senators: "I don't like sand.It's course, rough, irrigating and it gets everywhere."

Obiwan: "Shit, I love this man"

[forcearama]

I keep reading this both ways: either as a positive, overwhelmed sort of "goddamn, I love this man and I must have him", like Obi-Wan is just so entranced by him he can hardly stand it, or as a disappointed "...oh shit, I love this man 😐" and obviously we all know the truth is both

[silverfyrefly]

I read a fix-it Everyone Lives where the Jedi end up taking the brunt of feeding/housing the clones after Palpatine is ousted so they do a nude calendar.

[forcearama]

I love the implication that selling nudes of the Jedi Order would generate enough money, for a long enough time, to support the ENTIRE CLONE ARMY. Like, even if we're just talking "just a short-term amount of time so that they are able to get on their feet and make some plans for their future", we're still talking about the kind of money needed to support high-thousands/millions of people here, right?

I mean, don't get me wrong, I AGREE that it would work, but also DEAR LORD. 😄

[artemisthehuntress]

Wait wait wait so my first thought here was: well we all know summer months are the hottest people so would Obi-Wan or Kit Fisto be July

And then I was immediately hit with the semi-truck thought of: Anakin is also hot—

Followed by:

Mace, looking Very Annoyed: Obi-Wan, the Order has voted for the calendar and it seems Skywalker is going to be Space August. We think he’ll take the news best from you.

Obi-Wan, choking on his tea: you want ANAKIN to pose for a NUDE CALENDAR?!?!?

Mace, confused: you’ve already agreed to be July, why are you surprised?

Obi-Wan, wheezing: this is the worst idea ever, I love it, please let me be there when you get the test prints

One Week Later: Obi-Wan is literally on the floor laughing, the entire council looks like they just swallowed lemons. Anakin’s test prints are on the holo table. They are the most awkward pictures anyone has ever seen. Based on these, it’s actually not clear whether Anakin even knows what a camera is. Aayla ends up being August

[forcearama]

LOL ANAKIN BEING BAD AT IT. Oh my God. I'm dying.

Anakin Skywalker, one of the most beautiful creatures in the entire galaxy. He's like a god come to life. He's so pretty. People hit on him wherever he goes. He's perfectly sculpted; his hair is like spun gold. What's not to like? Everyone's sure his photoshoot will be 🔥🔥🔥. The Order assumes the Anakin month alone will bring this fundraiser above their target.

Anakin, however, has no idea what he's doing. At first he's just standing there like he's getting an ID photo taken. He tries to lounge seductively on a platform in the photo studio and ends up falling off. The wind machine just makes him stand there squinting. They try giving him props that he ends up holding awkwardly, dropping, or, in the case of the lollipop, somehow choking on and then ending up in a 5-minute coughing fit, which doesn't exactly make for a sexy snapshot.

The photographer is like "uh, could you try to be a little more...? Or a little less...? Could you kind of pose, you know, like a...person?"

Obi-Wan buys every single negative. He's going to treasure these forever.

[darthbecky726]

literally every other Jedi posing: perfectly sculpted, beautiful people, insanely sexy, this plan is working 👍

Anakin posing:

[forcearama]

I swore I wouldn't reblog this giant post again already but I have no choice

[thememedaddy]

[thememedaddy]

[dead-dove-ble]

Actually you SHOULD make problematic content. You SHOULD explore dark or taboo topics. You SHOULD have a space where you can cope with your traumas or explore sensitive topics in a way that doesn't hurt anyone.

[shiptillyoudie]

Also you should make problematic content for funsies. You don't need to have had trauma or need to be coping in order to explore dark creativity. You can just be a human who wants to explore dark and taboo topics because you want to. That's completely normal, btw.

Every single person on this planet thinks about dark and taboo things. It's literally the most normal thing in the world.

Go draw the horror porn and be free.

[zooophagous]

I didn't ask if it made sense to keep going. I said I'm going to kick your twisted evil ass.

[bitchydragondoodle]

i dunno what fandom this is from but it also gives me reasonable hope to keep fighting for a better future and i like it :)

[zooophagous]

That would be the "Ancient Egyptian Mythology" fandom

[ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa]

For those who don't contain a vast knowledge of Green Day lore like myself, I don't think it is hitting just how much of a "fuck you" the NFL is giving djt/the white house. This is a band that is:

Made entirely of openly bisexual/queer men

Made entirely of men who are vocal about being raised by single mothers on welfare

One of their members was adopted and raised by a Black woman and has said he "understands how his mother could hate 'the white man' and love him with her whole soul."

Were the first band to say, "No Trump, No KKK, No Fascist/MAGA U.S.A." on live television without ANY warning.

Literally released a song last year called, "The American Dream Is Killing Me"

Only hires ALL FEMALE bands to open for them to address inequality in the music industry

OPENLY tells trump supporters they are not welcome at their concerts.

Anyway, Enjoy Feb. 8th Magats! You're gonna hate it. :)

[capetown-devotee]

My favorite band for a reason <3 (after being talented and awesome, of course)

[detectivehole]

i'm not actually mad i just like the comedic delivery of righteous but pointless anger

[animatedamerican]

[theroyalsavage]

[throwupgirl]

finn starwars we will never forgive those movies for what they did to you. i saw your lightsaber. i saw your force sensitive. i saw your secondhand chanel boots that unbeknownst to all of us were put in the thrift store bin by luke skywalker but you rock them twice as hard.

[rimpyspinkeye-deactivated202406]

[krudman]

[tundrakatiebean]

[undeadentropy]

Never have I seen the perfect application of two memes back to back so that both can stand without any alteration but the lack of words itself. This is a work of art. I would call this meme poetry.

[christopher-milkmoon]

I’m gonna loose my fckin job if I would continue in the same way (if my English is understandable (｡•́︿•̀｡)) Refuse to think that Billy is an absolutely bad person