I am not actually a small hobbit

25 year old Christian dude • I really like foxes (and turtles) • married to @maysartcorner • occasional sanderson posting • known elsewhere on the interwebs as LePaul

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

Went to the grocery store with my kindergartener. We weighed some bananas: 2 pounds even. We weighed a watermelon: 4 pounds even. We weighed some mangos: a little over 1 pound. We weighed the watermelon AND the bananas: 6 pounds even.

“That’s funny” said the child “because 2+4=6 and two pounds and four pounds is six pounds. It’s like the same as math!”

“What happens if you add 6+1?”

“SEVEN”

“What if we put one pound of mangos on the scale?” <mangos added>

“IT’S THE SAME!!”

“OK, what’s 7-4?”

“Three?”

“What if we take the four pound watermelon off the scale?” <watermelon removed>

“Mama! Are you telling me math works In Real Life? Think of all the things you could measure!!”

[rohirric-hunter]

You know I hate the saying, "You can't have your cake and eat it too," because I'm pretty sure it's the only instance of the phrase "have [...] cake" in the English language that does not carry with it an inherent implication that what you are doing with the cake is eating it. In any other context if you say someone "has cake" then there is a very explicit assumption that the purpose of the cake that they have is to be eaten, that they wanted it for eating, that they acquired it with the intention of eating it in mind, and that they are imminently going to proceed with consuming that cake orally, and that this will be considered a success insofar as "having cake" goes. Except for this one smarmy little idiom that has decided the ideas aren't related at all and anyone trying to relate them is asking for too much. Guess what! You can have your cake and eat it too! That's the entire point of having cake!

[rohirric-hunter]

The Unabomber was right

[davereed]

Hang on I gotta go look something up

....

OK, this ONE time, he was right.

[anxietyproblem]

[zero-two-ten]

this site has one setting

[jenroses]

I’m laughing, but there’s a super useful corollary, which my husband calls “the Red Balloon.” He was a defense lawyer and had a fair number of drug addicts come through, and there is a thing where if you’re like, on your first offense, they’ll do a thing where you can go to treatment and if you complete it they’ll take the conviction off your record.  And he would tell his clients, “Look, everyone’s going to tell you not to do drugs. They’re going to say it over and over again. And it’s like, if people tell you not to think of a white elephant, you’re going to think of a white elephant. But the trick to not thinking about a white elephant is to think of a red balloon. So you need to find your red balloon. For some people it’s yoga. For others it’s woodworking. For some people it’s scrapbooking or gardening or any of a long list of things to do. They focus on that, it’s a lot easier to succeed in ignoring the white elephant.” So yeah, “watch yourself” is one thing… but the better idea is to watch something else. (Even if it’s fanfic about werewolves fucking.)

It’s a form of productive dissociation, and is super, super helpful. It’s easy for me to get bogged down in how much pain I’m in… but some of the most painful periods of my life have also been the most productive, writing-wise, because writing is one of my red balloons. 

[kittydorkling]

There is a phrase I use A LOT in my parenting and my son gets very sick of it, but it’s true:

The thing you practise is the thing you get good at.

You may not intentionally be practicing “being grumpy” but if you don’t put effort into practicing “not being grumpy” then I’m afraid that’s what you’re doing. It’s hard! It’s really hard! Sometimes, for some things, it’s pretty much impossible and that sucks!

But being carefully aware that you are going to get good at the things you do most of is a good way to be more careful of what those things are. If that makes sense.

[bogleech]

You gotta appreciate sometimes how tumblr works in such a way that everyone who wants to reblog this interesting or useful psychological advice is also forced to reblog the thing about werewolf fucking

[aceofpans]

”with shapes.inc you can talk to your ocs!!” Dumbass. I’m already talking to them. In my head. “B-bbut what about your favourite charac-“ skill issue. In my head as well. get fucked.

[rapidlydecayingcorpse]

reverse suicide note where everyone you write on it dies

[rapidlydecayingcorpse]

wait

[definitely-not-a-plant]

and we could call it something like... murder note.. or something.. Kill note.. die note... we can workshop it later

[omnybus]

The first rule of Fight Club is that fights can neither be created nor destroyed

[omnybus]

The second rule of Fight Club is to not take the Fight Club's name in vain

[omnybus]

Third rule: A Fight Club must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Rule

[cthulum]

Very relevant indeed

[paranormal-taters]

"i feel besquintled", said no one ever. because that's not a word.

[paranormal-taters]

okay nevermind it IS a word now and this is exactly what it means.

[paranormal-taters]

EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT THIS NEW AND BETTER WORD

[germaerobics]

My Hater Post. Sorry

[germaerobics]

ALSO THIS

[crocslederg]

I sentence you to thinking about dragons for 10 billion year

[crocslederg]

[fujoshisaiyan]

lets swarm mama

[whyenn-reader]

disabilities are not superpowers, that being said having auditory processing disorder my entire life made me insane at freestyling, cause my mental libary of homophobic phrases (rhymes) is massive and keeps expanding every day

[whyenn-reader]

HOMOPHONIC PHRASES HOMOPHONIC HOMOPHONIC SOUNDALIKES RHYMES ECHOS

HAVING AN EXTENDED LIBRARY OF HOMOPHOBIC PHRASES DOES NOT HELP YOU WITH FREESTYLING UNLESS YOU ARE EMINEM.

[whyenn-reader]

NOT THIS ONE IM BEGGING

[arikot27]

[mizeliza]

[importantpics]

[speakthewordonly]

in a kill it with your sword kill it with your sword amen mood today

[weirdreindeer]

[lydiardbell]

[robbie-is-a-bug]

“Are you saying that Jesus isn’t fully man” he’s literally not. He’s half deity. Why did you word it like that?

[creature-wizard]

“Jesus was fully human and fully divine” is conventionally accepted doctrine. It’s called the hypostatic union. It’s in the Athanasian creed.

[mcgravin]

Sounds like wormnoodless is recapitulating Eutychianism (Christ exists in one nature and of two), which was rejected by the Fourth Ecumenical Council in 451, instead adopting Dyophysitism (Jesus Christ is one person of one substance and one hypostasis, with two distinct, inseparable natures: divine and human), which is still the main belief of most major denominations.

Sorry, wormnoodless, you’re a heretic.

@apocrypals, do I have it (mostly) right?

[apocrypals]

Correct

Anything other than “fully God, fully man” is heretical

[squidspawn]

#sometimes the nature of tumblr is that someone accidentally reinvents the great schism (1054) all over again

[thepartyponies]

On a related note, calling Jesus a demigod is the worst kind of insult on multiple levels.

[leathergerard]

remembering that time i got drunk and told a guy he looked like a wrought iron gate

[leathergerard]

he didnt respond to my observation. just sorta stood there

[leathergerard]

... much like something else i know of

[eyecantread]