Cosimo Galluzzi
dirt enthusiast
No title available
Love Begins
Stranger Things
Discoholic 🪩
$LAYYYTER
Mike Driver
Keni
KIROKAZE
AnasAbdin
todays bird
hello vonnie
Janaina Medeiros
oozey mess
shark vs the universe
styofa doing anything
Claire Keane
macklin celebrini has autism
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@i-hit-things
ORC AFFIRMATIONS
My scars are COOL and TUSKY
My scars DO look like I got them during RITUAL COMBAT
My scars DO NOT look like I got them by tripping over a RUSTY FENCE concealed by TREACHEROUS UNDERBRUSH
MY SCARS ARE VALID NO MATTER WHAT GORM SAYS
Listening and nodding sympathetically: I dunno dude sounds like you should kill gorm
i should kill gorm
I can tell youre knitting with no love in your heart i can see the hateful intentions in every stitch.
it is like fucking spot the differences with you people
see what you both should do is get padded shirts and pants and then put on leather armor over it
these restrictions are really getting out of hand. Every single invention i've submitted to the mad scientist symposium this year has been denied on the grounds it 'could be used for fetish material'! What the fuck man! A shrink ray and a mind control helmet are like the most foundational mad scientist devices and now I'm not allowed to submit them to the symposium on the off chance someone is turned on by them? Whats next? Banning strapping your rival to a table and threatening them with a big laser? Banning the glowing green mystery chemical that turns you into a big monster? Soon they're gonna be banning lab coats and shiny black gloves!
My word! We can’t let this happen to us! From now on the only things we will approve are spells that could also maybe be about a fetish. You must find and bring the relevant freak to our offices for proof of concept.
hi mercenary here this has been the highlight of the entire guild's week this is so fucking funny. all we've been doing is hunting down various kinksters. we dont even have to threaten them.
I just know the Elf king is mad people like to go to Orcopolis instead of his forest that everyone gets lost in
the Elf King is always like why aren't we getting more tourism in our treetop city where the infrastructure is just wooden walkways and rope bridges built into the sides of ancient oaks hundreds of feet high and I'm like I don't know man maybe because nobody can get schwasted without plummeting to their death as soon as they leave the bar
have dungeon lords considered that MAYBE i DONT WANT TO GUARD THEIR TREASURE. I HAVE DEPTH OUTSIDE OF BEING LARGE AND SCAERY.
Decided to try baking but I think I did something wrong because I am pretty sure that this cinnamon torte was not supposed to come alive and start eating the silverware.
Or if that was supposed to happen I think the recipe probably should have mentioned it.
did you name it?
You know, that didn't even occur to me, but I guess maybe that's because I don't have a name myself. But that's no reason to withhold names from others.
What do you think would be a good name for a metal-eating cinnamon torte?
Tinnabun
Okay sure why not.
Now I've got to figure out a way to stop Tinnabun from eating all the doorknobs.
wrap in cloth? do sentient tortes have a sense of smell?
Decided to try baking but I think I did something wrong because I am pretty sure that this cinnamon torte was not supposed to come alive and start eating the silverware.
Or if that was supposed to happen I think the recipe probably should have mentioned it.
did you name it?
You know, that didn't even occur to me, but I guess maybe that's because I don't have a name myself. But that's no reason to withhold names from others.
What do you think would be a good name for a metal-eating cinnamon torte?
Tinnabun
Decided to try baking but I think I did something wrong because I am pretty sure that this cinnamon torte was not supposed to come alive and start eating the silverware.
Or if that was supposed to happen I think the recipe probably should have mentioned it.
did you name it?
merry christmas to being out of that stupid fucking cave
Hey, @i-hit-things, uh, sorry to bother you again, but I think the, uh, big day is coming any day now and I really wanted to let that adventurer know before it happens, so I was wondering if you'd had any luck finding him yet or if not how much longer you think it's going to be. Don't want to pressure you, just, uh, this is getting kind of time-sensitive…
honestly at this point I think he's avoiding being found. Which is understandable, but frustrating. A lot of people hear "massive orc looking for you" and panic.
You think I could afford to live in Orc City? On a war drummer's salary? I commute an hour and a half from the outlying Orc Metropolitan Area.
Well it is certainly cheaper than living under the elf king LOL!
Brother, anyone residing under the elf king's banner might be Alive, but they certainly aren't Living! 🤣😂🤣
Character concept for an urban fantasy story:
A guy who looks 100% human but is dressed like an orc, walks like an orc, speaks the local Orcish dialect as fluently as a native speaker, and is covered in orc tattoos. One with a more educated eye on the matter could see that the tattoos are not human mimicry of orc tattoos, but the genuine real deal. Orcs do not tattoo anyone outside of their own tribe, and if you ask the guy how he got them, he looks insulted and says that his grandma made them for him. His last name is an orcish clan name.
On a second look, one could guess that he's a half-orc who inexplicably just managed to not inherit any physical traits from his other parent. He is, however, not a half-orc. His little sister is, though. Their mother doesn't have any family of her own, and he was two years old when the two of them escaped from his father. He has no memory of his father, and doesn't care to have a human family - his stepfather's family is their family now.
He doesn't know his biological father's name, where he lives, or whether he's even alive or not. He's entirely unaware that his father died years ago, alone in his home, from a mysterious spontaneous case of Orc Dagger Shoved Down His Throat.
So, uh, @i-hit-things, I don't mean to rush you and I really appreciate that you're willing to help, but, uh, any progress finding that adventurer? I think my, uh, due date is only a few weeks away, and I'd really like to let him know he's going to be a father before, um... you know, before it actually happens.
I've got a few neighborhoods in mind but I don't know what he smells like so it's kinda hard. Actually do you have any souvenirs or like. a hoodie that he gave you or something?
Uh, I mean... not really; the only souvenirs I have from him are, uh, the ones growing inside me. Aside from that, I don't think he left anything here.
Wait, actually, that may not be entirely true. I, uh, kind of gave him a new set of clothes for the Halloween party, and he left still wearing them, and I'm not totally sure what he did with the clothes he'd been wearing before? I mean, not that he had many to begin with; he was basically just the loincloth-and-sandals type of adventurer; but still, it's possible his original clothes are around here somewhere. I'll take a look and get back to you.
that's really helpful, actually!
Okay, yeah, turns out the loincloth and sandals he'd been wearing when he came here were still in the back of the wardrobe in the guest room all this time. I hadn't noticed them because I don't really use the wardrobe since I don't, you know, wear clothes. But yeah, hopefully with these you'll be able to get his scent and have an easier time finding him. Let me know how it goes.
ok, good.
So, uh, @i-hit-things, I don't mean to rush you and I really appreciate that you're willing to help, but, uh, any progress finding that adventurer? I think my, uh, due date is only a few weeks away, and I'd really like to let him know he's going to be a father before, um... you know, before it actually happens.
I've got a few neighborhoods in mind but I don't know what he smells like so it's kinda hard. Actually do you have any souvenirs or like. a hoodie that he gave you or something?
Uh, I mean... not really; the only souvenirs I have from him are, uh, the ones growing inside me. Aside from that, I don't think he left anything here.
Wait, actually, that may not be entirely true. I, uh, kind of gave him a new set of clothes for the Halloween party, and he left still wearing them, and I'm not totally sure what he did with the clothes he'd been wearing before? I mean, not that he had many to begin with; he was basically just the loincloth-and-sandals type of adventurer; but still, it's possible his original clothes are around here somewhere. I'll take a look and get back to you.
that's really helpful, actually!
So, uh, @i-hit-things, I don't mean to rush you and I really appreciate that you're willing to help, but, uh, any progress finding that adventurer? I think my, uh, due date is only a few weeks away, and I'd really like to let him know he's going to be a father before, um... you know, before it actually happens.
I've got a few neighborhoods in mind but I don't know what he smells like so it's kinda hard. Actually do you have any souvenirs or like. a hoodie that he gave you or something?
why didnt the skeleton go to the prom
I DONT KNOW, I WENT TO PROM
SOMEONE THREW A MUFFIN AT ME
FLESHLINGS ARE STRANGE.
you should throw a knife/your leg at them
