Be Gay, Do Crime

Hot Mess and Proud Plant Mom she/her

[podcastwizard]

some royal jewels were stolen from the louvre which is unfortunate for historical reasons but you gotta appreciate a classic crime. so many crimes are online these days it’s nice to see heist culture is still alive

[wileycap]

I have no idea what to do with this, but wouldn't it be neat if Aang started doing all of his bending using the wrong style of bending? Just because he can?

Airbending? No, actually, it's humid in here. I used the water in the air :) nope, just manipulated the temperature with firebending. Common mistake! They look very similar!

Oh no, that wasn't earthbending. That was airbending. I'm basically just compressing the air! Sokka came up with that!

Avatar Aang comes in to give a bending demonstration, and immediately 60-year-old masters start gnawing the furniture because what do you MEAN that was waterbending!!! You made flames!!!? We've been studying this all our lives why would you come in and do this to us

[ai0lisauce]

Do NOT leave these in tags OP

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

nuclear power is impressive until you get up to why. "we use the most precisely engineered machinery ever created to split atoms to release energy" oh yeah how come? "boil water to turn a fan" get the fuck out

[darinaethelaianprophet]

The power of atom turns out to be, yet again, the power of steam

[kendoola]

[homunculus-argument]

A good rule of thumb for AI is "would you trust a trained pigeon to do this?"

"We trained a pigeon to recognise cancerous cell clusters and somehow they're really good at it" okay great, that's something that could plausibly be a thing.

"We trained a pigeon to recognise good CV:s and left it in charge of sorting through all our job applications" uh perhaps consider not doing that.

[veryfunnymemes]

[mortimermcmirestinks]

oh I get it

[veryfunnymemes]

[mortimermcmirestinks]

I don’t get it

[wav48k]

i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

[wav48k]

Do you need something.

[wav48k]

before this starts getting notes i have to add that this is not my dog. i dont know how he got in my backyard

[wav48k]

someone made a terrible youtube video searching for the source of this dog picture like it's lost media and he on-screen scrolls by a live tumblr link to this post before claiming i deleted my account, pulling up a wayback machine archived page, and then lying about contacting my ex boyfriend for more information

[vamptits]

they want you to make fried rice

[memser]

who is "they"

[vamptits]

the wok left

[solongandthanksforallthefish42]

how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left

[6qubed]

skillet issue

[androgynosaurus]

I love you so much I hope we get reborn as housecats who sleep together like puzzle pieces

[androgynosaurus]

This is us in the next life

[androgynosaurus]

Of all my posts to Do The Numbers over the years I think this is one of my faves because the notes are full of two things: people tagging their friends/loved ones, which is very sweet, and people posting photos of their own cats cuddling, which means I get to see more cat photos

[bumblebeebats]

Just saw an ad for fucking Kellog's cornflakes wherein a shirtless blindfolded man tied to a bed is like "Wait.. are you... eating??" and it pans across the bed to reveal that his partner is, indeed, too distracted to have sex with him bc she is chowing down on corn flakes. Now I've been caught up in wondering whether:

a) John Harvey Kellog would despise this ad; the mere proximity of bondage-play to his brand name and beloved anti-porn flakes is unforgivable

b) John Harvey Kellog would enjoy this ad, because it shows a young woman forsaking the temptations of the flesh in favour of eating a wholesome and nourishing bowl of cornflakes

Cast your vote

A - that crunchy old man is rolling in his grave

B - it's literally demonstrating the flakes' intended purpose

C - what in the goddamn hell are you people talking about

Voting ended onOct 10, 2024

[bumblebeebats]

"Are you sure you want to post this without tags?" What, pray tell, tumblr, would I add to this post to help it reach its 'intended audience.' #cornflakes #bondage

[polysucks]

Surely the tall, battle hardened, scarred, hairy, rude, vulgar, disheveled, but loyal and ferocious knight I have sworn in as my maiden daughter’s personal guard would not dare to look upon her fairness and her his roguish ways and dare to defy the marriage arrangement I have put in place for her.

[polysucks]

Alas! My maiden daughter!

[evelmiina]

I felt compelled to paint this based on a photo my friend took

[orpheusilver]

man with loophole fetish facing criminal charges gets off on a technicality

[codewitch]

Today I encountered an especially pathetic Italian greyhound. His owner told me that a gust of wind once blew him into a lake.

[memecucker]

I think it’s funny how Mormon God was like “look polygamy is super important and I am telling you my followers to practice it even in the face of persecution” and then 40 years later Congress said Utah wouldn’t be given statehood as long as the LDS practiced polygamy and Mormon God was like “Ok tell everyone I changed my mind”

[memecucker]

I just really like the idea that Mormon God like, basically caved into pressure from the federal government

[dramatic-dolphin]

you wanna see one of my favorite bots of new york posts ever?

literally everything about this is perfect. i can't believe this is a bot post.

[luimnigh]

Okay, here's my idea:

The British should put a time limit on the Monarchy.

Not like declaring a republic tomorrow, but deciding on a date in the future that ends the British Monarchy.

And there's a perfect date for it coming up!

October 14th, 2066.

A thousand years since the Battle of Hastings. A thousand years of this one specific bloodline ruling England.

Call time on the Monarchy after exactly one thousand years. Nice, and neat.

Even better: Charles isn't living 44 years. He'll be gone in about twenty. Now William? He's what, 40? Yeah, he can live another 44 years. His great grandmother was over a hundred, his granny was 96, William can make it to 84 barring accident or assassination.

So on October 14th 2066, William the Last steps down a thousand years after William the First won the crown.

Nice, neat, and fair. William gets the crown he's been waiting forty years for already, but ten-year-old George grows up without expectation of it.

Have a nice big abdication ceremony, even.

[lasrina]

Plus, what an absolute baller move to announce your regnal name as William the Last.

[roach-works]

the Final Bill

[embervoices]

This is actually a really good idea, I think.