Im dryin up faster than lake mead just thinking about it
Futures
Made of
Ethical romantasy
God it's so exhausting because like. I actually do enjoy reading some low-stakes fluffy romantasy where the characters actually like each other sometimes. The problem is that whenever something advertises itself as that, it feels like the author is afraid of the characters ever conflicting or clashing or just... making mistakes with each other? That they talk out afterwards, like an actual person would???
Also like unequal power dynamics are like half the fun I'm sorry but navigating that is actually interesting why the fuck are you reading romantasy where everybody involved in the romance is exactly on the same footing???? Nobody is a fish out of water? nobody has some grand magical fuckery that poses existential risks to their lover in some way or another? Why are you here then????
I want to put in my two cents with this take.
On one hand, I can see where this article is coming from. There has been criticism of romantasy and romance books for romanticizing unhealthy relationships and power dynamics. Is it possible to create a healthy, grounded romantic relationship in a story and make it compelling? Oh yes, look no further than Pride and Prejudice, where the eventual love between Elizabeth and Darcy is lovely.
But here's the thing.
They didn't start that way. And they are not and were not perfect people. And that lovely relationship? It only develops in the last five percent of the book.
The other 95 percent? They're flawed.
They both had major flaws that kept them apart. Major flaws that kept them from realizing they were the right ones for each other. Major flaws that dampened them and blinded them. It is only through the story that they learn to cope with the consequences of these flaws and learn from them, and that they can go from having, well, pride and prejudice to having humility and empathy. That's all because they were well developed as flawed, dimensional characters with inner conflict and things they thought were right but had to be proven wrong about through the course of the story.
What this article proposes is that a healthy love relationship should be in these texts. But what if they're both great people at the start? Perfect people? My personal ick in books is when the love interest is a perfect person. They have no arc, nowhere to go, no place to grow and be challenged and learn through the story. Nothing about this new relationship or these new feelings challenges them to be better or do better- they're already a perfect sexy lamp served on a platter to our main character. They're technically Mary Sues with no flaws and no failings.
That makes for a very boring story, doesn't it? And it makes it unrealistic in the sense that this is a perfect person. And the implication is that you have to be perfect to be worthy of love.
Now, onto specifically romantasy and power dynamics. Yes, taste varies. I know a lot of people find the 5000 year old fae who falls in love with a human girl whos's 19-20 years old very icky (it never personally bothered me because they're never presented as mentally or physically as a huge age gap compared to humans) But let me just say something, let me address the elephant in the room- Fantasy and Romance books, including Romantasy, have a subconscious element of wish fulfillment. And a lot of people who read these genres and are passionate about them have the ultimate want to be wanted. That's why we romanticize obsessive, even villainous -or morally grey at least-characters who have this passion for their love interest. Who can't restrain themselves around the love interest or would do anything to have them. Because, in real life, especially when you go through puberty and bodily changes, you're made to feel gross. And when those you have a crush on don't seem to care about you, it makes you feel unwanted. So therefore, as long as there is a strong passion for the other person, we can overlook what they do. Because that passion is interesting and compelling. And villainous or morally grey characters, we find ourselves more subconsciously attracted to because we tend to find those dark sides more compelling. Because a relationship between two nice, green-flag people who are just healthy and good all of the time does not create conflict, and conflict is what keeps a story interesting and compelling. If there are no stakes, nothing to lose, and nothing that pushes a main character outside of their comfort zone, then we won't really worry about what happens or read further.
Since there is wish fulfillment in these books, it also means living out your fantasy. And a lot of people have these darker fantasies, fantasies about a toxic, passionate love affair and being obsessed over and even being ravished by some powerful fae lord because it makes them feel worthy of desire. But just because you fantasize about it does not mean you want it to happen to you.
So...yeah, you can write these books about two perfect people who are always green flags and have a healthy, perfect relationship, but if they aren't flawed people who have to learn to grow from these flaws or there is no element of desire, of being wanted, or there is nothing for them to lose or lessons to learn or stakes or nothing that pushes them outside of this perfect little bubble in this perfect little love...then it's not going to make for a very interesting or compelling story.
And let me add on one thing.
What is it about romantasy that people love? What makes it different than your average romance? Besides dragons and magic, of course.
In a romantasy, the stakes are higher, so the emotions are more intense.
What is the worst that can happen in a romance book? This varies from genre to genre, such as mafia or dark romance, but for most romance books that don't fall into those categories, the worst that can happen is that you can get your heart broken. Which sucks, but is not too bad.
The worst that can happen in a romantasy? Your lover could die in a battle. You could die in a battle. There is more to lose.
So if you remove the intense high stakes of romantasy, you also water down the emotions, the passion for each other...so it becomes bland, low-stakes stuff that makes the reader yawn and not worry about what will happen.
And again, that makes for a boring story no one wants to hear, right?
However, a morally grey shadow daddy who will burn the world down for you? That's interesting. That's powerful. And there are already stakes; there is already a sense of danger. And that is what readers will show interest in.
And the implication is that you have to be perfect to be worthy of love.
This is the most toxic thing I see in fandoms online. It bothers me a lot.
But the main problem here is the framing as "ethical," because of this weird idea that to be an ethical person you must read "ethical" media. Except what I'm actually seeing is people twisting themselves into knots to explain how some character is actually a "green flag" as they choke and murder people. Because if they like something, then it has to be ethical right?
I have read cozy fiction, it's fun. I'm sure some of the books on this list (which was taken down hours after it was posted btw) are good. But the very implication that some fiction is ethical and other fiction isn't is the problem here.
Jane Austen novels hardly contain anything problematic, except period normal patriarchy and some age gaps. They are awesome, I find them very interesting, but it's not like Jane Austen would have ever sought out to be on this list or called her novels ethical or moral. She was very against writing moral novels. So I have nothing against less dramatic plots however, trying to make things inoffensive...
Also, the idea of something being ick free is laughable. Nothing is ick free, because icks are unique and can be anything.
