it's all good

An incredibly random blog entirely of whatever I feel like at the time :) she/they

[monochrome-stars]

big fan of telling people "have fun" when they say theyre going to the restroom

[atrusovaartist]

acrylic, canvas 40*50 cm „birds of the Ebro River Valley“ 2024

[coyotesmokebreak]

This isn’t the final edit but I thought y’all might like to see what I’m working on for @yellowis4happy 🫶

[coyotesmokebreak]

The base image is from Norman Lindsay’s A Homage To Sappho

This will be the second time I’ve switched up the genitalia on one of this series but is the first time I’ve hand drawn the addition of the body hair and genitalia. More adjustments made tomorrow but yeah!

This was the pervious piece I did!

[coyotesmokebreak]

Let’s fuckin GOOOO

[coyotesmokebreak]

Breaking to go eat dinner but hey!

[coyotesmokebreak]

I have some segments to redo, refining to do with a single thread going back thru, and graphite to carefully remove but per request some of the ladies got top surgery

I’m literally so stoked about this piece I’m so mad I keep having to take breaks bc whenever I concentrate for too long my jaw clenched up again and I start getting pain in my faceee

[coyotesmokebreak]

*dragging myself across the floor and covered in blood* it is finished…

My bad I’ve been in a mixed episode for almost two months and it’s made me have more episodes of lying in bed unable to move or do anything meaningful

But here we are!

[creekfiend]

if i might offer my opinion as a mixed race black person re: white supremacy and what failure vs success looks like? my number one wish for White People(tm) is that they realize that just because they're White (that is, a person that society has deemed to be part of the ultimate in group) does not mean they have to be White. I think a lot of white people who have not done the deconstruction work think that because of the literal color of their skin they cannot help being White(tm) and fail to realize that race is NOT a physical tangible thing that you can't change about yourself, the same way that biological sex is not one of two clean and distinct categories that means you either have xx chromosomes, boobs and a vagina, or xy chromosomes and a penis. I think a lot of White(tm) people even fail to realize that categorizing race as What Color Is Your Skin is not even the original definition and why there's so much dumb debate over whether italians are white or not. irish people did not used to be "white". this has never been always and cleanly defined as "how white is your skin".

anyway. the way that people choose to racialize each other aside, my reason for this being my number one wish is that Whiteness(tm) is harmful to everyone it touches; it is always *most* harmful to the out group, that is, black and brown people, but that doesn't mean it isn't also horrifically dehumanizing for the White People themselves. my partner had nearly all of her family history erased by her parents and replaced with Whiteness and while of course this is a thing that is done by White people to people of color, it also *necessarily* has to be applied to themselves. you must insist upon your Sameness with other White people, on your cultural homogeny, on your stamping out anything that might emerge as an actual honest to goodness Cultural Identity. when white people try to reclaim for themselves parts of their cultural identity, or even to appreciate and share in cultures that are not their own but are open, White People get BIG mad. i think your recent posts about how fucking weird folks are about appalachia are relevant here. i think once you realize that Whiteness is damaging YOU as a white person and not just something to wallow in guilt over while also thinking "it's a good thing for me though! only does good stuff for my opportunities in life and such :)" you can then begin to undo some of the damage it's done. yes, use the hell out of your privilege, but also recognize that Whiteness is trying to take away your cultural identity or even your conception of having a cultural identity, and go take it back.

i find it really difficult to explain this to people who have never left the US because despite how different we are from state to state it just is not the same as really seeing a Cultural Difference where very many conceptions of "that's just the way it is here" are completely overturned for people, but i hope this ask is at least somewhat accessible/understandable! i get really sad thinking about how, for example, my partner never received any stories about how her parents learned to cook from their parents (or from aunts or uncles or cousins etc; cultural identity is not reliant upon these things coming from a traditional family model) and i just wish for more people to be able to see that they can say "okay, so i will now find community in cooking. i will tell my friends where i learned to cook this. i will ask them for their recipes and i will share mine with theirs. i will explain to my friend's children why i'm chopping the garlic first and the onions second. i will let them wash the produce." or what have you with whichever relevant experience.

Yessssss! I have found the framework of whiteness studies to be useful in conceptualizing this but it's another case of something being sort of locked in an Academia Cabinet such that laypeople do not feel it is For Them. thank you for this because just yes yes. this is the work and you've laid it all out so well. white supremacy is antithetical to our well-being as human beings. everything you've described about the unnaturalness of "Whiteness" and what is required to attain it and perform it. phew.

[unwelcome-ozian]

[roach-works]

when i was getting trained as a welder the guys started playing sneaky grabass with each other and with me. i almost hit a few people while holding dangerous tools in my hand because they wouldn’t stop grabbing me from behind, then laughing that i ‘almost’ hit them, so i finally had to go to the instructor and say, look, i’ve had years and years of self defense training due the fact i’m a very small weirdo who is in legitimate danger of getting hatecrimed and at some point one of these guys is going to goose me again and im going to bury a wrench in his eye. get them to stop grabbing me, because i don’t want to get kicked out for hitting people.

the next day i ended up punching someone in the face with a doughnut in my fist because she thought i was being a big fucking buzzkill who tattled to teacher about a harmless game, and, guess what, grabbed my butt. i got icing all over her hair. she complained to teacher...who let everyone know that this was why they weren’t supposed to be playing grabass in the fucking shop.

anyway don’t fucking sneak up on twitchy little queers with hypervigilance, it fucking sucks and you’re lucky if you get a doughnut to a face instead of a hammer.

[kyraneko]

given that this was a welding class, I was expecting this to end up so much worse

[akeussel]

[wizardarchetypes]

re: my last reblog. i have no flight or freeze response. it’s all fight and growing up i warned people not to startle me for fun (like fully grabbing me) because i’ll hit them. (hypocrite bc i loved startling people but i digress)

i eventually joined martial arts and after a couple years realized that not only was i able to temper my reaction but the one time someone DID grab me at a bar i got them off me without hitting them in a way that made me look very cool. i’m not afraid to say so and sound corny because the point of this post is a story of the exact opposite several years ago when i was living in wexford in the middle of NOWHERE and walking home alone one night at like 2 am and two small boys jumped fully out of a BUSH directly in front of me and shouted.

and all within 1.3 seconds i poised to punch one of them in the face, registered they were children, dropped the stance, needed somewhere for the adrenaline to go so i didn’t punch, and so i grabbed the chest of my dress as if literally clutching pearls and shouted in the voice of a 1950s tv grandma,

“YOU FRIIIGHTEEENEDD ME!!!”

obviously they descended into total fits of laughter as they ran off.

i think about that from time to time.

[wizardarchetypes]

yes i joined martial arts bc Saga had been in it for several years after i moved out. when i was home visiting we were in my former, now their, basement bedroom (where house centipedes lived) and Saga was standing in front of their queen size bed talking to me and i realized it was a rare setup to fully fly tackle them because we’d land on the bed unharmed. no reservations, a complete attack. i ran at them and leapt. saga grabbed me and used my own momentum to do a hip throw, tossed me over them and the bed, and i landed on a mug on the tile floor on the other side and shattered it with my foot and bled everywhere. saga was like “are you happy? is that what you wanted?” i joined a dojo that week.

and you might say that the desire to beat your little sister in a fight is not a good reason to learn martial arts. and to that i say ☝️ that’s not your business

[victusinveritas]

[black-crested-jaybird]

I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.

[makingtrouble]

Give yourself the treat before you start. I'm serious. And ideally during the task and afterwards too.

Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.

"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.

You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.

(Also read How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis)

[twwings]

I give my students a LOT of techniques for starting writing when it feels overwhelming or daunting, but one of them is exactly this: dopamine load BEFOREHAND. It may sound weird to people on tumblr dot com, but a lot of people seriously struggle with executive dysfunction when it comes to writing literally anything, to the extent that it can cause such symptoms as panic, depression, and AI chatbot use.

I usually suggest this technique as a "Reverse Pomodoro." In the original Pomodoro, you work for 25 minutes and then take a break for 5 minutes (the times vary, but that's the essential ratio). People with executive dysfunction often find this insurmountable, and they get even more frustrated, and then the task seems even more difficult. So instead, flip those times.

FIRST, spend 25 minutes doing something energizing and engaging that you like to do. Not scrolling social media passively, not watching tv, not napping. Try something like colouring, doing yoga, running/walking around the block, talking about your favourite tv show with someone in real time, playing with the dog or cat, making and eating a lovely sandwich, hula hooping, something active. Having a little treat absolutely falls in this category!

(on the subject of little treats: refusing yourself food until you do work is for fucking Puritans and you can be kinder to yourself)

Then, after 25 minutes (or however long it takes to eat the sandwich or finish the yoga routine, it doesn't have to be exact), spend 5 minutes writing (or doing whatever you're struggling to start). Most people can coax themselves into doing something they find difficult for five minutes, if they have already filled up the joy/energy/engagement bucket. You can put a timer on for the 5 minutes if you want, or if you find that annoying, just work for as long as you like.

The other key is: don't push yourself to keep going when you're frustrated or tired—that will just reinforce the negative belief that you already have, which tells you that this task is painful to do, and needs to be avoided. If you've commonly had to force yourself to do this kind of task, that's likely part of why you think of it as painful and have trouble starting it now. Also, you should just, at a basic level, try not to put yourself in pain for the sake of productivity. So just do it till the good feelings run out. Then start hula hooping or colouring again for another 25 minutes. When the tank's refilled, try another 5 minutes of work, if you can. Adjust times to taste.

Not every technique works for everyone, but I've seen this one work for many students who are genuinely and seriously disabled by executive dysfunction. And many people find themselves getting more and more excited and engaged in the "difficult" task—because the good feelings from the hula hooping carry over, and because they're suddenly able to do the task without feeling pain, and feel accomplishment without feeling pain.

[elodieunderglass]

Dr Glass had been idling in unmoving traffic for several minutes. The stream of traffic was unable to enter the roundabout, which was full of unyielding cars in an unbroken stream. Roadworks and other bewilderments had somehow combined to create a solid stream of traffic cutting off this entry to the roundabout, creating an immovable backlog. The phone map showed a solid red line creeping ever farther through the town as the queue of cars lengthened and froze up.

Dr Glass was only three cars back from the entry point. After pondering the problem in this unexpected pocket of leisure, he got out of the car.

The other drivers looked at him, astonished, censorious. Was this muppet just up and leaving his car? Abandoning a vehicle in congestion? Were they about to witness someone making their day WORSE?

Dr Glass walked to a pedestrian crossing, a few feet upstream, and pressed the button. He turned around and got back in his car.

Enlightenment, and a cautious hope, dawned on the faces of the other drivers in the queue.

The pedestrian sequence unrolled. The red light cut off the oncoming stream of traffic. The queue was freed. The roundabout was freed.

You don’t get “and then everybody clapped” in the British Isles, but you DO occasionally get a row of driver’s side thumbs-ups, and a large northern bloke hollering, “you CHEEKY bugger!” in approval.

[wizardarchetypes]

when i was 13 i made up a group of ocs who were gifted the ability to teleport but with caveats that made it really irritating for them and everyone else. i can’t remember all of them but two. one of them could only pass from place to place through water. they could jump into something as small as a cup of tea and come out the other side through a puddle or something but notably they did get wet. so any time they teleported anywhere they arrived soaking wet. they had to go everywhere with a waterproof paddling bag as a purse. the other could only teleport between occupied bathrooms. any bathroom in the world was fine but it had to be in use. they could just ask a friend to go in first and cheat it that way but in an emergency they’d just have to barge in on someone with their eyes closed and yell “SORRY! SORRY!” and disappear immediately from existence.

[lizardho]

When I came out, I was SO scared I was gonna get disowned. I wrote a letter to my parents, sent it to their emails, put a physical copy on the counter, and left the house for a few hours to give them time. In that time I tried coffee for the first time, which was a dreadful idea, and got all jittery. I kept waiting for a text or something but nothing happened.

After a few hours, I didn’t hear back from them so I went home. My parents were home and had stacked a bunch of groceries on top of the letter without opening it. They said “hi” and I said “hi” and went down stairs to the basement. I held my dog and panicked about what to do. My sister, who knew that I had written them a letter of great importance, told me they hadn’t read it yet. She also told me she could ask them to do so. I consented to this and stayed in the basement. A few minutes later my dad knocked on the door and poked his soft smooth little nerd head in and said “hey buddy” and I started crying so hard I almost vomited. He came over and gave me a BIG hug and said that it was gonna be OK, he was OK with this, he knew it must have been hard but he was here for me. He told me he and my mom had already talked years before they had me about how if they had to pick between their faith and their child they’d pick their child. It was a very sweet moment. I came out to my mom later that evening and we were both bawling the whole time.

The day after I came out to my parents, I came out to my brother @inbabylontheywept at a Mexican restaurant and he took it like a champ. That evening my mom took me for a walk and looked almost angry - she said she wanted to make sure that I didn’t use being a woman as an excuse to not go to grad school. I told her I wouldn’t and she instantly looked relieved and happier.

My dad, on the other hand, seemed to struggle with it. He kept asking me if I had a boyfriend, and I told him I did not. He kept asking me if I wanted to go clothes shopping with him and I did not. He kept asking me if I would let him go to some of my shows, and I had NO idea what he was talking about.

Finally, 6 months after coming out, of awkward misgendering and questions that didn’t make sense from my dad, he excitedly pokes his soft smooth little nerd head into my bedroom again and says “I found a movie about Your People.” My people. I was absolutely bewildered, but he was so excited and I knew he had been trying SO hard so I watched it with him. It was The Birdcage, and it was amazing. It also was revelatory in that I finally realized why my initially-supportive father seemed to be having such a hard time with my pronouns and stuff - he didn’t know what the difference between trans and doing drag was. After the movie he again asked if I would invite him to one of my shows, and I said, “Hey dad, you know how about half the world is women?” And he said “yeah,” and I said “Well, see, I’m on that half now. I’m not doing drag.” And it was like a switch flipped in his brain. He was like “omg that’s so easy? I was so confused about what to call you when?”

Anyway, my parents are charming and my family has been so kind and patient with me, I like sharing the stories of my little wins with them.

[lizardho]

A story I didn’t share from this time with my papa was that sometimes he’d try and guess if I was using he/him or she/her pronouns based on how I was dressed. Like, more femme = drag = she/her. So one day he was introducing me to someone and he goes “Hello! This is my…” and he looks me up and goes “son!” and I sighed and said “daughter, dad” and he just looks defeated for a second and said “but you’re wearing jeans?” like he was legitimately confused and now that quote just kinda pops into my head sometimes and it makes me laugh 😅

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

A difficult thing about complex trauma is that there may not be any specific events that you can point to as something bad that Happened™️ and explain why you are weird at parties. Maybe there were small things that were mundanely bad but don’t justify the scale of your reaction. And maybe someone else describing the situation makes it sound laughably trivial. “I felt unsafe” never feels sufficient for something to have a profound effect on you. You feel like a phony, you feel unreasonable, you feel like acknowledging it would be stolen valor. Or maybe you wind up with an unscrupulous psychologist who tells you that something hugely, cinematically awful must have happened and convinces you that your mother’s bridge club made you eat gentile babies on the full moon for 13 months.

But. Well! Simply feeling unsafe/insecure/scrutinized/etc for prolonged periods inherently messes you up. Even if it’s with good intentions.

[creekfiend]

for a child, feeling unsafe around one's guardians or in one's home is in fact an emergency. kinda like "for most of human history having a whole bunch of people violently mad at you at once meant you were gonna die," I think. evolutionarily, a child who is not safe with guardians or in the home environment is very likely to die.

[vintageandroid]

right, so. listen. y'all. when posting to wish a beloved elderly actor (or other famous person) a happy birthday, can we all agree to put the happy birthday wishes at the TOP of the post and not UNDER the long memorial-like string of photographs? THANKS.

[wonderlandleighleigh]

Happy 100th to this short king.

Who gave us:

A hero to many. A legend to most. But also the guy who, in his youth, accidentally peed out the window of his apartment and onto his mom and her friends, and the blamed it on his brother. <3

[basuralindo]

So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)

Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.

So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.

But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.

It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?

So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:

Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.

And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.

So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".

So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.

I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.

[basuralindo]

Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:

My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.

Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.

Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.

Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).

Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues

(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)

[basuralindo]

ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:

According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.

Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.

For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.

So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.

[basuralindo]

Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.

Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life

Aaand a close-up:

The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace

[basuralindo]

HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE

via @kagaminilen

[mysteryteacup]

[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]

[ardanelvilyafeanturi]

Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic

[mousidy]

very strange cottage industry on youtube of giving exhaustive "critiques" of harry potter that amount to things like "the magic school is dangerous and that's bad!!!" and treating that with equal severity as the fatphobia or the slavery apologia, then patting themselves on the back as if this amounts to some kind of praxis

cinemasins is not praxis lol. how about materially supporting and protecting trans people from joanne and forgetting about her wizard books

[mousidy]

I loved harry potter growing up. it made me feel seen as an abused and closeted kid. I idolized and looked up to joanne, wanting to become an author like her

then she started funnelling all her wizard book money into destroying the rights of my people and I resolved not to give her any more of my money

I didn't have to reevaluate the quality of her writing to do this. whether she's good at keeping her worldbuilding consistent or whatever has nothing to do with my decision to boycott her work. who cares how good or bad her writing is. she's killing trans people

[jayalaw]

OP, you get it. This is exactly the problem.

[averyterrible]

The children's show villain is a figure who sadly is not seen outside the children's show. There are few stock characters who as succinctly declare, from sheer stage presence, "the world is unloveable and it is painful to live here; that which delights mankind is like ash on my tongue" without being too fucking whiny about it.

[averyterrible]

maladaptive suicidal ideation: "i'm going to kill myself"

productive, growth mindset: "i'm going to steal all the instruments from Musictown!"