Ich bin TUMBLR

I play with toys and look at silly pictures. Ididit.

[dankmemeuniversity]

[seabassapologist]

CRINGE Son’s FAIL Report Card Compilation (VERY FUNNY)

[gwynbleidd892]

God I feel bad for that kid

[betasunkern]

[nochannels-deactivated20211223]

god i cannot express just how fucked up you are if you watch/give a shit about ‘youtube families....................truly unhinged behaviour 

[blue-diamond-smokes-weed-now]

Imagine being a kid and your parents broadcast all of your failures and personal life to the world and you cant do shit about it because you're a child

[ich-farte]

Fuck that. This is truly emancipation territory. Make their next video “REACTING to our son serving us an EMANCIPATION NOTICE! WOW!!”

[bobertlutece]

this whole thing is way too good to be giffed you need to expirience it 

[lizatonix]

There are so many things that are TOP quality about this. The business with the mic rope. The bounding across the stage like an excited puppy or a newsie. The Voice™️ that is so synonymous with John, you know, the voice of a guy who sells ice cream at the soda fountain in the 50’s. The analogy itself.

It’s all so beautiful, such peak humor and content.

[mulaneysbutt]

Emmy Award Winning™️

[pharaohamunsadji]

I FOUND IT AGAIN.

[pomrania]

Here’s the “horse loose in a hospital” bit. Good news, it has closed captioning.

[theawesomeraccoon]

“I DONT REMEMBER THAT IN HAMILTON.” OMG

[impossiblerebelblaze]

God I’ve heard so much about this guy and this is my first time actually watching one of his bits. He’s as funny as y’all make him out to be tbh

[fangirlhaley]

This is my favorite video ever

[nonlinear-nonsubjective]

I’m going to be talking about this for the rest of my life. Because this? This is one of the defining pieces of culture from a time when life went from bad to worse. Everyone knows this sketch. Almost word for word. This four minute bit is carrying us through these times, and is probably the only piece of media to come directly from politics that is genuinely joyful.

You simply cannot talk about this era without mentioning the horse loose in a hospital. It defines the entire experience, and does it hilariously.

[angiethewitch]

I fucking adore this man

[getchapapes]

i love john edmund mulaney with my whole entire heart, and you may quote me on that

[your-tires-are-too-cold]

i just realized that this is going to be something that people look at in like 50-100 years when talking about this era of american politics and people are going to be interpreting it and its probably going to be on someones fucking dbq like no no one outside of this time period will every ever be able to grasp just how accurately this describes Everything

[enbies-and-felonies]

THAT’S WHERE IT COMES FROM

“that’s what I thought youd say you dumb fucking horse”

[neongreentoxicity]

HORSE IN THE HOSPITAL

[caffeinated-nightowl]

OHHH SO THAT’S WHAT THAT WAS ABOUTTTT

[math-is-magic]

Reblogging this in honor of the horse being sent to the hospital.

[dads-back-from-the-store]

if you even fucking look at the hospital I will stomp you to death with my hooves

[just-a-donut-who-reads]

You know what I want you to do it. I DARE you to do it goddammit so I can stomp you with my hooves. Go on.

[randomthingsthatilike1]

[gay-irl]

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

Sorry, himbo machine broke

[cipheramnesia]

McDonald’s milkshakes do not bring all the boys to their yard.

[ich-farte]

Shake machine broke

[ring-bearers]

lotr coming after the hobbit is so funny Tolkien was just like fuck ok I gotta think of SOMETHING. wait Ive got it. Bilbos funny invisibility ring he won in a riddle contest is evil now

[teaboot]

Like if the sticky hand you got from the dentist turned out to be possessed by the ghost of Musollini, and it could make you levitate, but every time you did, a skinhead got a text with your home address

[khealywu]

was sipping water and almost did a spit take reading the follow-up

[swolleneyeball-deactivated20170]

i fukcing hate this show

[sugarkillsall]

This is the best scene in the entirety of IZ imo it’s literally perfect

[partlysmith]

according to the staff commentary for this episode, the script actually called for heavy traffic to be rushing past Dib and Zim in this scene, which is why they’re shouting at each other, and you can even still sort of hear the sound effects but then, for whatever reason, in the finished episode they just forgot the cars

[2002-honda-crv]

[roliepolie]

@arr-jim-lad I’m CRYING is that actually a thing that happened, I can’t believe I’ve never heard this

[arr-jim-lad]

YES

[matronofthevoid]

I REMEMBER WATCHING THIS AS A LITTLE KID AND THINKING IT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY, ME AND MY BROTHER WERE DYING.

[ratliker1917]

the rules of this blog are very simple: 1) christian missionaries do not interact 2) of all the westerners i will only be conducting trade with the dutch 3) all daimyo must spend at least every other year at the shogun’s court in edo

[cowboypsyop]

[ants-are-fascinating]

When ants die, a few days later they emit oleic acid, which tells the living ants to dispose of their corpse.

A myrmecologist named Ed Wilson discovered this and dropped the chemical on a living ant. It was immediately carried off, despite the fact that it was still moving, and clearly not dead.

[periegesisvoid-deactivated]

“I’M GETTING BETTER”

[kuroba101]

Bring out your dead. Eh, close enough.

[glitterandgrunge]

IM NOT YET DEAD SIR

[lazorsandparadox]

You left out the part where the ant, believing HERSELF to be dead, stayed in self imposed exile in the ant graveyard until the acid wore off and she realized she was not supposed to be in the ant graveyard.

[silent-wordsmith]

@finite-experience, this seems like the sort of thing you’d like to see

[mister-christmas]

Ant 1: To the ant graveyard with you

Ant 2: But I’m not dead

Ant 1: You smell dead

Ant 2: Fair enough

[eric-coldfire]

Ant 1: “I thought you were dead.”

Ant 2, after acid wears off: “I got better.”

[ottermatopoeia]

Ant 2, returning to the colony: i lived bitch

[yehudah]

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[freakun]

[somecutething]

A cat waking up from surgery

[daco-broman]

I am losing my shit

[yeahiwasintheshit]

everyone trying to get me in the uber

[queerspeculativefiction]

My cat Nosse had tooth surgery, and had a very strong reaction to the drugs given so he was high as a kite for a lot longer than expected. Apparently he was so desperately cuddly for people that they put him around the neck of one of the nurses doing paperwork, and he just hung there for an hour, purring like a chainsaw, drooling on her shoulder.

[markv5]

Вставай, скоро молоко раздавать будут!…

[sergeantbabylegs-deactivated201]

[ranma-official]

the translation is significantly more Soviet in tone than the original, which is great

[porterr-robinson]

[catchymemes]

[ich-farte]

[fanotastic]

Soda is bubbly soup.

[crypticcunt-deactivated20230101]

Soup is boring soda.

[fanotastic]

Make your own goddamn controversial post

[crypticcunt-deactivated20230101]

you fuckin heard me.

[fanotastic]

[crypticcunt-deactivated20230101]

O hmy god

[fanotastic]

[fanotastic]

[fanotastic]

[shibari-babe-deactivated2019042]

I’m disturbed

[brightgreencrayon]

This is like reading of two people getting into an argument in a bar then one of them commits a war crime.

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[snugglebearinc]

[naamahdarling]

I’m losing my fucking mind.

[kittykat8311]

oh my god

[cryptid-sighting]

my favorite part is that the guys just go along with it in spite of confusion/misgivings because they don’t want to miss out on stickers.

[nogf]