hi guys bones here. I am so sorry to do this from a burner blog and also for this but there is no other way. (also my ex knows my art blog so this is just for safety.) Ko-fi.com/starifishbones

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hi guys bones here. I am so sorry to do this from a burner blog and also for this but there is no other way. (also my ex knows my art blog so this is just for safety.) Ko-fi.com/starifishbones
Ever wanted to use the deck of many things, but feared it’d ruin your campaign?
Well, anyone who wants to is welcome to use my homebrewed “deck of several things”. Many would be a better word for it than several, since it actually has more things than a deck of many things, but given the title was already taken it was the best I could do.
Basically, the idea was to make a 54 card deck (standard 52 playing card deck, +1 joker of each colour), and to make it have various effects of escalating potency without ever quite causing anything as disastrous and campaign-ending as the infamous Deck of Many Things does.
Without further ado, here are the details.
“A seemingly mundane deck of 54 playing cards in an ornate wooden box, including a red and black joker. Each card has a unique magical property, that applies when the deck is thoroughly shuffled, and the card is drawn. If the one drawing the card has an intelligence score of 4 or lower or is unaware of the deck’s magical properties, as well as the fact that there are potentially quite dangerous risks involved in drawing, cards drawn have no effect. If anything in any way diminishes the randomness of which card(s) will be drawn, such as the deck being intentionally poorly shuffled/cut, or the bottom card of the deck being looked at before drawing (as this gives the drawer the knowledge that one specific card will not be drawn), the cards have no effect. If any single card is removed from the deck, destroyed, or marked in an identifying way, the deck loses its magical properties until another card with the same suit and value (that cannot be distinguished from the rest of the deck while face down) replaces that card, the deck is shuffled, and the deck is placed inside its wooden box and the box kept shut for 1 hour. As soon as the card is drawn, the drawer gains the knowledge of what its effects are. The effects happen within a number of seconds. The suit of hearts represents blessings, effects that grant vitality or healing. The suit of diamonds represents treasures, mundane, magical, material and metaphysical. The suit of clubs represents chance, with each one having an equal chance of a boon or a bane befalling the drawer. The suit of spades represents curses, losses, and all manner of unpleasant things. Red. 1. Joker: Gift of the Crimson Fool. You feel imbued with power as memories from an ancient hero of your class fill your head. While you don’t retain these memories for long, the experience and talents remain. You gain however many experience points you still need to reach your next level.
Hearts. 2. Ace: Blessing of Vitality. Roll one of your hit dice (that of your highest levelled class if multiclassing, your choice if tied) and add your constitution modifier. Permanently gain that many hit points.
3. 2: Blessing of Healing. You gain possession of a small, red berry, full of life essence. Upon eating this berry, you can roll one of your hit dice and add your constitution modifier, regain that many hit points. This does not expend any of your unused hit dice.
4. 3: Blessing of Rest. You lose any levels of exhaustion you currently have.
5. 4: Blessing of Satiety. For the next week, you require no food or water.
6. 5: Blessing of Mana. You obtain a small vial of a blue liquid labelled ‘essence of Mana’. Upon drinking it, all your expended spell slots are restored. There is only enough for 1 dose.
7. 6: Blessing of Medicine. You gain possession of a small vial of dark red liquid, labelled ‘Panacea’. Upon drinking it, all hit points are restored and all diseases and poisons are cured. There is only enough for 1 dose.
8. 7: Blessing of Respite. You gain possession of a golden apple. Upon taking a bite of this apple, you gain the benefits of a long rest. Only one person can gain these benefits as the apple loses this property upon being tasted.
9. 8: Blessing of Talent. You gain +1 to an ability score of your choice, but it cannot be increased beyond 20.
10. 9: Blessing of Arcana. You gain one level 1 spell slot. If you know no level 1 spells, learn one of your choice. If this is the case, your spellcasting ability for this spell will be Wisdom. Otherwise, use the spellcasting ability of your caster class.
11. 10: Blessing of Power. For 24 hours, your spells do not expend spell slots.
12. Jack: Blessing of the Undying. For the next 24 hours, you cannot be reduced below 1 hit point by any means except for effects caused by this deck. You still feel pain and sustain injuries, which do not heal any faster than normal.
13. Queen: Blessing of the Gods. You gain the features of 1 level Cleric, not counting proficiencies or hit dice. You are not sure which God has blessed you, if any. Your alignment does not change unless you choose for it to do so. Your exp does not change. This does not count as gaining a level. If you already have the features of a level 1 cleric, this card has no effect.
14. King: Blessing of Salvation. A small glass orb appears in your hand, inside which is a swirl of golden light. Upon breaking it, it allows you to cast your choice of ‘Raise dead’, ‘Greater Restoration’ or ‘Regenerate’ once without material components.
Diamonds.
15. Ace: Treasure of Divine Favor. The card summons the Avatar or Envoy of a God of good alignment of your choice before you, communicating with you in a language you speak. The representative usually takes the form of a small or smaller sized beast, a hovering sphere of dim light, or some other harmless phenomenon. You may attempt to make a good impression on this God, and if successful, they will grant you a favor of your choice so long as it is within their power and within reason. Failing to earn their good grace or offending them results in the avatar leaving, doing the drawer and others present no harm.
16. 2: Treasure of coins. You obtain a pouch containing 5d4 x 10 Gold Pieces.
17. 3: Treasure of gems. You obtain two gemstones worth 100 GP each.
18. 4: Treasure of Companionship. You gain a familiar as if by the ‘find familiar’ ritual. If you already have a familiar, this card has no effect.
19. 5: Treasure of Space. You obtain a bag of holding.
20. 6: Treasure of Friendship. For the next week, you have advantage on Charisma skill checks that are not Intimidation against any creature, even ones that are otherwise hostile towards you.
21. 7: Treasure of Might. You gain a magical weapon of your choice with a +1 to attack and damage rolls.
22. 8: Treasure of Resilience. You gain a piece of magical armor that grants you a +1 to your AC.
23. 9: Treasure of the Oasis. You obtain a Decanter of Endless Water.
24. 10: Treasure of Rarity. You obtain a random ‘Rare’ Magic Item. (Chosen by the DM).
25. Jack: Treasure of True Desire. You obtain a silver compass. The needle of this compass points you in the direction of whatever it is you desire most at that moment.
26. Queen: Treasure of Regal Shelter. You gain the ability to cast Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Mansion without expending a spell slot. You may do so 3 times under this card’s effects and may not cast it more than once every 48 hours.
27. King: Treasure of the Mage. You obtain a spell scroll for a random (alternatively, determined by the DM) spell of 7th level. You must provide the material components required to cast the spell normally, however, and these components are always consumed. The scroll is useable only once and cannot be copied into a spell book, as it becomes incomprehensible by any who try. Black. Clubs.
28. Ace: Chance of Treasure and Curse. Flip a coin. If heads, roll 1d4. If 1, gain the effects of the Jack of Diamonds. If 2, gain the effects of the Queen of Diamonds. If 3, gain the effect of the King of Diamonds. If 4, gain the effects of the Ace of diamonds. If tails, apply the same effect, but with Spades instead of diamonds.
29. 2: Chance of Change. Flip a coin. If heads, obtain a scroll of polymorph. If tails, automatically fail a saving throw against a polymorph spell the card casts against you and be turned into a sheep, as per the spell’s effects.
30. 3: Chance of Flight. You obtain a scroll of Fly that can be used to target up to 8 willing creatures. Have the DM flip a coin in secret and make note of the result. If heads, the spell is cast normally when you attempt to use the scroll. If tails, the targets are instead affected by the Hold Person spell and are treated as though they’d failed their initial saving throw.
31. 4: Chance of Drawing. Flip a coin. If heads, you gain the effects of a random card from the red half of the deck. If tails, you gain the effects of a random card from the black half of the deck, excluding this one. (Out of character, if using a physical deck, continue to draw until you draw one of the required colour, jokers included, and ignore all drawn cards except for the one of the required colour.)
32. 5: Chance of Wealth. Flip a coin. If heads, all coins you’re currently carrying duplicate, doubling your wealth. If tails, half the coins you’re carrying disappear permanently, rounded down.
33. 6: Chance of Talent. Assign numbers 1-6 to your ability scores and roll 1d6. Flip a coin. If heads, the ability score that corresponds to the d6 result increases by 1 but cannot be brought above 20. If tails, it is reduced by 1, but cannot be brought below 3. This effect is permanent.
34. 7: Chance of Chatter. Flip a coin. If heads, learn a language of your choice. If tails, forget how to speak one of the languages you know. If this leaves you with no languages, regain the one you lost after 1d4 days. You can relearn lost languages the same way you’d learn any other.
35. 8: Chance of Gems. Obtain a random gemstone worth 500 GP. Flip a coin. If heads, the gemstone will be an ordinary gemstone. If tails, the gemstone will have been taken from the hoard of a random dragon, who will gain the knowledge of where it is and how it was obtained until such a time as it retrieves it. Have the DM make this coin flip in secret.
36. 9: Chance of Age. Flip a coin. If heads, you age 10 years. If Tails, you become 10 years younger. Either effect can be optionally ended by succeeding on a DC 10 Constitution Saving Throw at the end of a Long Rest should they choose to do so. Characters cannot die from aging this way, nor can they become any younger than what is considered the age of maturity for their race. The effect is purely physical, and characters retain their personalities, intelligence, and memories. However, they take a -2 penalty to their Strength and Dexterity scores if reduced below the age at which their race reaches adulthood.
37. 10: Chance of an Ancient Soul. Flip a coin. One of the weapons you’re carrying becomes possessed with the soul of an ancient hero if heads and an ancient villain if tails. The weapon becomes able to speak (and will do so at the DM’s discretion), becomes magical for the purposes of overcoming resistance to nonmagical weapons, and gains +1 to attack rolls and damage rolls. However, if the weapon is possessed by a villain, it may attack your allies. If you miss an attack on an enemy with the weapon while an ally is within your attack range, and the soul contained in the weapon is inclined to do so, make an attack roll against that ally as a free action. This does not count for attacks of opportunity. Heroic souls may impose the same detriment against known evil party members, or members that have committed acts the soul considers worth punishing while it was present. In either case, the weapon becomes indestructible and will return to you after 1 hour if lost or thrown away. Gold gained by attempting to sell the weapon magically returns to whoever you took it from. The weapon may choose to retract its magical properties and impose disadvantage on attacks made with it if it decides it does not like its wielder.
38. Jack: Chance of Twinning. A duplicate of you appears, and others become unable to tell which one is the real you superficially. Flip a coin. If heads, the duplicate will be of the same alignment as you. If tails, it will be of the opposite alignment (good becomes evil, lawful becomes chaotic). True Neutral characters’ duplicates will always have the same alignment as them. The duplicate will pretend to match your alignment if it is lawful or neutral evil and you are not, but will secretly work to sabotage you, and either way and will follow the party for 48 hours at which point it ceases to exist.
39. Queen: Chance of Royal Favor. Flip a coin. The King, Queen, or other governing body of the country you’re in will become aware of your existence. If heads, they will hear only good things about what you’ve done (not all of which will be true) and seek to reward you appropriately (rewards decided by the DM). If tails, they will be told rumors of your villainy and seek your punishment for your crimes. A Knight will find the party 1d4 days later and challenge the drawer to honorable combat, one on one. Regardless of who wins or loses, the effect ends, and the ruler becomes unaware of your existence once more. However, if the Knight is killed, you will earn a bounty in that country. (The DM rolls death saves for the Knight if they are reduced to 0 hit points). The affected ruler will not remember how they became aware of you, other than that they heard rumors about you.
40. King: Chance of Luck. Flip a coin. If heads, you gain advantage on all saving throws, ability checks and attack rolls within the next 24 hours. If tails, you instead gain disadvantage. (40) Spades.
41. Ace: Curse of Frailty. ** Roll 1 of your hit die (that of your main class if multiclassing) and add your constitution modifier. Permanently lose that many hit points.
42. 2: Curse of uncontrollable screaming. The drawer becomes unable to stop screaming for 1d4 minutes. They may still speak, but only by shouting words at the top of their lungs. In a town or city, this may result in trouble with the local authorities at the DM’s discretion.
43. 3: Curse of Criminality. In some random city in the country the character is currently in, a magical clone of them appears and commits a crime of varying severity, then disappears. Bounty hunters will pursue the character, proportionally as strong and aggressive as the size of the bounty warrants, and local authorities will likely fine or arrest them on sight if they visit the city in question. The bounty is equal to 1d20 x 10 GP.
44. 4: Curse of Swapped Sex. For 1d6 x days, a male character’s body physically transforms to that of a female, and vice versa. Their mind is unaffected. People familiar with the character will likely confuse them for a sibling they were unaware of, unless they are aware of the curse.
45. 5: Curse of the Scarecrow. ** A scarecrow (see the Monster Manual for stats) begins to stalk the party. Roll 1d12 when the party attempts to take a long rest, and the scarecrow attacks on a 12. The scarecrow’s corpse disappears on destruction. With every successful destruction of the scarecrow, the DC for the scarecrow to appear decreases by 1. The Scarecrow only stops appearing permanently once it appears and is defeated on a roll of 1 on the d12. When the scarecrow attacks, it is immune to damage from anyone except for the one who drew the card and also ignores all other possible targets. If the drawer is reduced to 0 hit points, the scarecrow becomes vulnerable to all damage and attacks all other targets indiscriminately, losing interest in its original target.
46. 6: Curse of Teeth. You grow teeth on every patch of your skin, not counting eyes, ears, mouth, nose, and other orifices. You take 1 damage every time a tooth is removed, and it immediately begins to regrow, fully regrowing within 30 seconds. All of these teeth fall off after 1d8 hours. During this time, you take a -10 to Charisma checks except for Intimidation, which you have advantage on instead, and others who are unaware of the deck and its effects will likely mistake you for a monster of some kind and become hostile towards you or flee from you, at the DM’s discretion.
47. 7: Curse of terrible luck. For 24 hours, you gain disadvantage on saving throws and attack rolls. Skill checks other than intelligence checks made to recall information also suffer disadvantage.
48. 8: Curse of Lycanthropy. You become a werecreature of the DM’s choice, transforming into your hybrid form every night when the sun is fully set and reverting at dawn. Your alignment changes to match the typical alignment of a werecreature of your type, as specified by the monster manual. The DM may optionally choose to take control of your character during these transformations. You are unable to infect others with your lycanthropy gained from this deck, and this effect lasts for 1d4 weeks.
49. 9: Curse of Greed. You feel an irresistible compulsion to draw two more cards. Do not shuffle the deck again before drawing, and do not replace this card in the deck until after you resolve the effects of the other two drawn. Their effects are activated as normal.
50. 10: Curse of Reversion. ** The drawer’s alignment shifts to its polar opposite. Lawful becomes chaotic, good becomes evil, and vice versa. True neutral characters are unaffected. At the end of each long rest, the player can choose to make a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw to end the effect.
51. Jack: Curse of the Fool. For the next 48 hours, the drawer must succeed on a DC 15 Charisma (persuasion) check every time they speak to any other character who was not present at the time of them drawing the card. If their check fails, the character they speak to hears whatever they’ve said as some kind of joke, or as utter nonsensical gibberish at the DM’s discretion, often laughing at them, but always dismissing whatever they said as ridiculous, unimportant, or just otherwise invalid.
52. Queen: Curse of Vanity. You gain incredible vanity for the next 1d4 days. If any creature says anything negative about you, you must succeed on a DC 15 wisdom saving throw or make an attack with a weapon or damaging spell of your choice against that creature. Additionally, if at any point you see a mirror, a still body of water, or anything else that shows your reflection, you become infatuated and stare at it without interruption for 1d4 minutes, forgetting anything else you were doing. If any creature makes an attack against you, you must use your next available action to attack them back. If any creature breaks the mirror or in any other way obscures your reflection from you, you must use your next available action to attack them.
53. King: Curse of Incompetence. You lose the effects of your most recent level up for 1d4 hours as your character becomes unable to recall what they learned to constitute that level up. You lose access to features and feats gained, but your HP and ability scores remain unchanged. (Curses marked with ** cannot be removed by any means save for the effects mentioned in their own descriptions if applicable.) 54. Joker: Disaster of the Ebony Trickster. You are suddenly wracked with terrible pain as a curse descends upon you. You are reduced to 0 hit points and fail one of your death saving throws automatically. You become immune to the ‘Spare the Dying’ cantrip until you finish a long rest. Medicine checks made in the attempt to stabilize you fail, as no physically injury has actually been dealt. Potions or other magical healing effects from spells of first level or higher function as normal.“
These
Tables
Are
So
Freakin
GOOD!
Shoutout to Lady Tiefling for being kickass.
Failing an Insight check
If the player rolled low, they know that they’re probably not going to get anything useful, and wouldn’t trust anything you give them. But what if there were things you could tell the low-rolling player, other than something that’s obviously false?
Pick something from the following list, or roll randomly, as you see fit. And if you think of another option, use that one too. Shake things up a bit.
1. by accident, completely accurate 2. not relevant to question at hand; inaccurate 3. not relevant to question at hand; accurate 4. right emotion, but aimed at the wrong target 5. wrong emotion, but aimed at the right target 6. as far from the truth as possible while being plausible 7. hard to read; no information gained 8. good intentions towards the PCs 9. hostility towards the PCs 10. roll twice, and present both as possibilities
Notes:
1. Even a broken clock is right twice a day, after all.
2 and 3. For example, “You’re not sure if the warlord is lying when she says she’ll let you leave alive, but you’re pretty sure she desperately needs to go to the bathroom.”
4 and 5. If the priest is contemptuous of the scholar, these would give “The priest is contemptuous of the guard” or “The priest is afraid of the scholar.”
6. The key here is for it to be plausible; that’ll keep the players from rejecting it out of hand.
7. Use this if you don’t have the mental energy to come up with anything else, or if you need to move the game along quickly, or if the player just barely failed the Insight check and you don’t want to punish that.
8 and 9. These are regardless of whether it’s accurate or not. On a higher (but still not making the DC) roll, the player might not know whether they failed or succeeded, and this is the kind of information that could come from a successful Insight check.
10. If you enjoyed coming up with obviously false readings, here’s your chance to still indulge in those; give the player THREE options, of which two are plausible, and one is ridiculously fake. (”You think the prince has just had a nice meal so he’s in a good mood, or maybe he likes you guys, or maybe he’s an alien shapeshifter who hasn’t yet figured out how to work facial expressions other than ‘happy’.”)
some dnd backstory ideas that give your character a reason to leave home that isn’t “everyone in my family died.” (just to say: i have nothing against those backstories (i use them a lot), but its fun to mix it up!)
family/friends/personal
someone close to you is sick. you need to adventure to find a cure
someone stole something important from you and you need to find it
you’ve received a message from a long lost relative and are trying to find them
someone that you love has been kidnapped (maybe you have to earn money to pay a ransom or complete some deed…)
adventuring runs in the family! everyone is expected to complete one quest in their lives
your family/culture sends people out to complete certain tasks when they reach a certain age as a rite of passage
another player’s character saved you in the past so you feel indebted to them and travel with them, protecting/aiding them
there’s a magical drought in your hometown and you have to fix it
your hometown doesn’t have a lot of jobs so you have to travel and send money back home
some childhood friends and you made a “scavenger hunt” where you try and complete a checklist of certain tasks (ie. defeat a barbarian in hand to hand combat, steal x amount of gold, slay a dragon, etc) in an allotted amount of time
quests/jobs
a god/patron has sent you on a quest to do something for them
you’ve been hired by someone to complete a task (and you get sucked into the big adventure along the way)
you’re on a quest for knowledge. maybe it’s to learn the best ways of fighting, maybe it’s something more academic related
your priest received a vision from your god and they sent you on a quest
you’re writing a book about the world and different cultures and you need first hand experience
you’ve found every map you’ve come across is shitty, so you decide to become a cartographer and make your own
you’re a detective who helps solve crimes and need to travel to solve a particular case
you’re a collector of a certain object and travel across the land to find it
you’re apart of an adventuring academy and have to complete a quest to graduate
you’re an artisan and you travel with your wares, trying to sell them. alternatively, you’re trying to spread word of your business and gain new business partners
you worked at a tavern your whole life where an old bard would sing songs of their adventuring party and that inspired you to go and do some adventuring of your own
feel free to add some of your own!
(via Vancouver Aquarium Marine Mammal Rescue Centre)
Idea: Nat 1s, don’t have to be a fail, (I mean they are, but lemme explain)
So like let’s say your rolling to intimidate, you roll a one, as a dm, you can say “well, they are so unintimidted in the slightest, that they let you pass” or “they’re so unintimidted, they don’t even wanna fight you”, just something to add some spice to your life
you roll a nat 1 on intimidate and the enemy goes
‘‘oh, actually… are you alright? i don’t really want to hurt you, you… you need a lift home or something?‘‘
There’s a concept in DMing called ‘failing up.’* In essence, its about making NAt 1s more than just about ‘well you failed’ in such a way as the momentum of the story stops dead. Let’s say a thief, with proficency and levels and lots of skills, fails to pick a lock - a nat 1. The lock cannot be picked, the door cannot be opened, the narrative and momentum stops dead as the aprty has to stand around and discuss what happens next. In failing up, however, the DM changes the parametres so that a nat 1 becomes less about failure and more ‘success with consequences’ (similar to what Monster Of The Week has as a built-in mechanic’). The thief rolls a nat 1 - he picks the lock, but the lock breaks loudly enough to alert the guards, and sudden this stealth mission is turning pear-shaped. The fighter rolls a nat 1: he moves the heavy boulder, but he throws his back out, and the party has no time to stop and rest - for the next while he’s going to be disadvantaged on a lot of checks. The wizard rolls a nat 1 on their arcana - they know enough to read the spell, but not enough to pick-up the curse built into the text, and so on. Failure should not be dead-end, narratively. *Okay, the exact name escapes me for the moment and I’m having a damned hard time figuring out if my source was Matt Coville or The Angry GM or someone else, but failing up works just as well.
The concept of taking failures - even if it isn’t a nat 1 - and making them more than just “that didn’t work” i think is a huge improvement to the quality of games. It’s the next big thing I’m trying to tackle in my own GMing.
It’s not because I don’t want to allow my players to fail - I do, but if the only way to kove the story forward is ti succeed then failures don’t do a service to the game. Plus some failures do not translate properly to the players and they’ll continue to try and find other ways to get what they were trying for (if they roll extremely poorly to investigate a room in a dungeon for potential hazards, telling them they don’t see anything wrong doesn’t ACTUALLY convey to the players the fact that their CHARACTER would believe they have sufficiently searched the room and it is safe.)
Ways to handle failures that I think service both the game and the players better are
Failures that bring unintended benefits (you slide down the cliff you were attempting to climb, and catch yourself on the branch of a decently valuable plant. If you manage to gather some of this branch you could sell it for a nice sum)
Succeed with consequences (you successfully intimidate the leader of the bandits in letting you pass, but his followers get angry at you for your insolence and ransack you when you next make camp)
Succeed at something unrelated to your intent (you look the priest over to discern if he’s lying about the werewolves, and are distracted by the edge of a dark, coiling tattoo just barely visible at the collar of his robes)
Think you succeed, but have instead failed in an unexpected way (you hear a satisfying click as the last tumbler of the lock falls into place. As you stand up and grab the door knob the floor below you snaps open and you fall into a pit)
Succeed, but so not how you wanted (you attempt to seduce the inn keeper for some free rooms, and in pretty he lets you stay for free in the room his wife and kids are in because “you seem lonely son… I know what that’s like. Why don’t you stay with my family tonight, yeah?”)
Failure that creates a new problem - allowing another player to take the lead (you hear a strange chime as you wirk the tumblers of the luck, and suddenly a magical barrier ripples across the door as you trigger a secondary magical lock mechanism)
This is all I can think of off the top of my head
A good way to come up with fantasy names/words in fantasy languages (without pulling a Tolkien)
I wanted to share how I come up with fantasy names because sometimes it can be hard to do so. Here’s a easy way to do it!
For an example, in my d&d campaign, one of my characters was a dragon. The dragon was the head of an arcane research institute, but turned out to be performing inhumane experiments on the residents of a city that supposedly fell to an earthquake, so I wanted her name to be draconic for “light in the darkness” (because on the one hand, light is often connected to knowledge and darkness to ignorance, on the other, sometimes a light in the darkness is connected to an angler fish).
So, let’s take the first word of that “light” and replace each letter with an adjacent letter on the keyboard
l -> k i -> o g -> t h -> y t -> r
Okay so now we’ve got “kotyr” I’m gonna stick an “i” on the end of it because I like the way it sounds, and boom! My character’s name is “Kotyri” You can assign pronunciation however you see fit, I went with koh-TEER-ee
If your character’s name doesn’t mean a specific phrase in some language, just take an aspect of them, for example, I once played a tiefling barbarian, and started with the word “brave”
b -> v r -> t a -> e (“a” and “e” don’t have vowels adjacent to them on the keyboard, so I generally just replace a’s with e’s and vice versa) v -> f e -> a
so now I’ve got “Vtefa” which I cannot pronounce… so let’s add a vowel here… Vitefa I don’t really like that f… Vitea r sounds are generally seen as intimidating so lets put an r in there… Vitrea Cool, let’s assign pronunciation vih-TRAY-uh
Give your players a “disintegration gun”. What it actually does is shoot people into the future. In the final session all the people they shot with it blink into existence around them at once.
OP please change your url
do u remember those fuckers those…
those WEEGGh gHOGH stick fuckers
And theyre called….. oh no-
Hey baby ;)
Wanna touch my Groan Tube
Neon Groantube Evangelion
God that’s so ominous
I prepared myself. I prepared myself for the unholy utterances I was certain would be cast at me, as though they were being cast from hell, and yet I was so, so defenseless for the real thing.
God damn
Meltans new evolution: Melmetal
I’ve never seen this with the update and it makes it so much funnier
i found it guys
the worst phone case ever
BEHOLD
you can buy it here. but i have no earthly idea why you’d want to
oh my god omgod oh mY GOD
a COMB
a RING
A MIRROR
A COMPACT
AND FINALLY
FINALLY
i’m losing my mind
please unmute this
When I was like, 9 years old I thought sponfebob was attractive and sexy and I said I wanted to marry him and my dad frowned really hard af me and said ‘don’t say that’ then he got up and went to his room and shut the door
did he ever come out
Tama: gives Luffy a bowl of rice when he needs it instead of eating herself Luffy: showers her starving town in literal mountains of fresh food and water in repayment me: Monkey D. Luffy operates like a fucking fey and for everyone he meets is the random supernatural encounter in a parable about karma starring them. In this essay I will—
#HOLY SHIT YOURE RIGHT #WHERES THE REST OF THE ESSAY OP (via officialhigashikatajosuke)
Actually there is more. Luffy things:
strong weirdly rote devotion to wild feasts w/ dancing
follows rigid but alien blue and orange morality
rebalances the scales wherever he goes so most people get exactly what’s coming to them beyond the bounds of reason (when Luffy is not nearby, the One Piece universe very much does not operate like this); most major exceptions: both his sworn brothers, who might be of similar stock and obviously don’t count somehow
on rare occasions spirits people away from their lives on whims
does not always give them back
avoids calling people not among this number their real names
What the actual fuck is One Piece.