homotron 4000

this is for the shit i don’t want my sister to see on my regular blog… it’s mostly gay people

[illriseurdevil]

crazy to me that ive seen more scrutiny directed at hudson williams than at donald fucking trump. like if u thought a swastika was bad...

[emmcfrxst]

sam does this to bucky once and bucky fully shows up at his place in the middle of the night to cuss him out

[funnyao3tags]

fuck yeah

If you're curious about the fic here it is

[jimmysownworld]

yuna getting really lovely, thoughtful, sometimes extravagant mothers day and birthday gifts from ilya never really understanding why hes going through all this effort even if she does appreciate it and thinks hes so so sweet for it all, even after the boys tell her and david about ilyas mother and the irina foundation it doesnt fully click for a while. it only comes together on some random day, ilya has a game later that night and he’s had lunch with yuna and david planned for a while and he shows up with the good vodka david likes and this small package of candies that ilya hands to her very shyly for the first time probably in his life, definitely since shes known him, and he explains with shaking hands that they were his mama’s favorite, and it was her birthday today.

yuna feels her heart break a little bit when he tells her that she would have been younger than her, maybe too young for how old her children are considering he had an older brother, but he thought about his mama when he was happy in the hollander home, and wanted to share his mamas favorite candy with the woman who was mama to his favorite person in the world. like they got to meet, in a way. and yuna realizes very suddenly that he does the birthdays and mothers days for both her and irina because she is the closest thing he has to a mother, and she looks at him and realizes with it that he is in some ways still 12, finding his mother, and she has never met a little boy so tall and tired when she pulls him into a hug and doesnt let go till david suggests they get inside for lunch.

[dorzyao3]

During the situationship era, I don't think it ever occurs to Shane to be jealous of Ilya sleeping with other people. They're just hooking up. It's casual. He's not even gay, maybe. He hooks up with other people, too, sometimes. It's just easy. Safe. Convenient. Can't be jealous if you're not in a committed relationship with someone. When Ilya brings up Svetlana as another regular hookup partner, Shane's not jealous. He's self-conscious Ilya might be chirping him for not having someone like Svetlana, too. Jealousy doesn't even register. What he and Ilya do with each other is it's own straightforward thing, and what they do with anyone else is separate. Ilya on the other hand knows he has no logical reason to be jealous of Shane hooking up with other people. But he's jealous as fuuuuck.

Read my fic about this here!

[penandinkprincess]

okay but anecdotes about other people accidentally having other people's service dogs task for them because dog just went "oh you are doing thing i am meant to fix" has me laughing imagining shane just having a high anxiety day for some reason and someone's anxiety service dog (maybe still in training, so a lil confused still) continuing to try and approach and task, but shane is just CONVINCED that it's ilya somehow trying to get this dog to keep coming over, and he's already on edge anyway, so people noticing that this dog keeps trying to come closer just keeps winding him up more, which just makes the dog try to come back over, which just makes him tell ilya to knock it off again, which makes ilya say he's not doing anything, which makes-

and finally whoever the handler is just "sorry, she's still in training." and ilya is just "ah, a professional in training. what a smart girl." "yeah, she's training to be an anxiety service dog. :)"

and ilya just looks RIGHT at shane, who is suddenly

[lavenderprose]

Ilya is so lucky that Shane proposed. Ilya would have been a nervous fucking wreck for the entire day beforehand. Wake up in the morning. Look in the mirror. Today's the day. Sob. Breathe. Okay I'm good! Turn around and Shane's hair is all in his face, still asleep on Ilya's pillow. I am NOT good. Cold shower. Breakfast that Ilya does not eat. Morning jog wherein Ilya runs like someone is chasing him. Lunch that Ilya does not eat. Drive out to the cottage. Make Shane pull over because Ilya needs to dry heave on the side of the road. "Baby we don't have to drive out today if you're not feeling well." "NO WE HAVE TO." Get to the cottage. Immediately send Shane on some kind of extended fool's errand. Shane wants to stay because Ilya is SHAKING and he is so worried. "No my love I'm fine it's just the breeze off the lake haha." It's thirty fuckig degrees Celsius. Shane finally gtfo's. Yuna, David, Rose FUCKING Landry all descend to help Ilya set up. Well. Ilya is supposed to be helping but he is standing on the deck fully dissociating. Yuna brings him tea. "Are you going to throw up the tea?" "Yes probably." Yuna takes away the tea. 800 electronic tea lights on the deck. In a parallel Ilya has no way of understanding, he both puts on and takes off a suit. Yuna fixes his curls into the hockey boy quasi-mullet that magnetizes Shane's fingers to Ilya's hair and says, "Oh, you're so handsome!" Ilya cries big fat tears. David tells a story about how his proposal to Yuna almost didn't happen because David went to the hospital for heart palpitations that morning. Thank You David That Does Not Help Even Remotely. Ilya slav squats on the lawn for twenty minutes. Shane's car pulls up in the driveway and everyone hides while Ilya vibrates in the entryway. Shane has no less than thirty grocery bags hanging from his arms, still complaining about why the grocery service cancelled their delivery last minute. Ilya leads Shane and all thirty of his grocery bags onto the deck. Shane is doing his favorite thing (bitching) and his second favorite thing (Follow Ilya) so he doesn't notice his own mother tiptoing behind him collecting the grocery bags he drops like breadcrumbs. There is an Oscar-winning actress hiding under his sofa and Shane does not notice because Ilya takes him on the deck and drops to his knees and Shane is like, "Haha, right now?" and then he sees that Ilya has a look on his face like he's just been told the sun is never coming up again and he has his hands on Shane's knees and he is saying, "Shane. Please?" and Shane puts his hands on his head and says "Oh my God baby what's happening to you" as Ilya melts and melts and then from the depths of the cottage someone who sounds a lot like Shane's very own father is whispering "The ring the ring" and when he looks back down Ilya is fumbling a ring box out of his pocket. The first picture of their proposal is Shane glaring into the middle distance with a hand cradling Ilya's curls like a baby while Ilya ugly sobs into his knee.

[livinglavidalesbian]

"hayden pike on the ottawa centaurs" this, "hayden pike on the ottawa centaurs" that... cliff marleau on the ottawa centaurs

[illriseurdevil]

yes

[powerfulweak]

Title: Flirting With Disaster Author: Powerfulweak Artist: thranduil-the-piemaker Fandom/Genre: Supernatural/ Romance/Comedy Pairing(s): Dean Winchester/Castiel, Sam Winchester/Jessica Moore, Gabriel/Balthazar Rating: Explicit Word Count: 64,285 Warnings: Slapstick style violence, Soulmate AU, Bottom!Cas, Top!Dean, Angst, self-worth issues Summary: Everyone knows that meeting the love of your life means disaster. Major injury, destruction of property, mental trauma… some sort of incident is expected when you first meet your soulmate. Dean wants none of it. He likes his job, his car and his life exactly as it is. He doesn’t want his so-called soulmate screwing that up. Until one day he stumbles upon a man stuck in a sewer hole and things go from bad to weird. Castiel Novak’s life is a disaster, literally (just don’t say the “C”-word). When he meets walking good-luck charm Dean Winchester, he sees an opportunity to turn his luck around and make his dream come true.

Art Masterpost |  Fic Masterpost

[colorlessjay-destielblog]

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND

I lost this fic LAST YEAR and I have been looking for it ever since!!!

[ao3feed-hollanov]

by reikawawritesTwelve year old Ilya comes home early on a fateful day. His mother Irina decides they are leaving Russia that night while Ilya's father is away for the weekend. She doesn't know where they are going, but running away is the only way to stay alive. This is Part One of a two part series about Hollanov. The first part is from 2003-2005. The second part will start somewhere around 2013 when the boys are adults. There is no romance included in part one.Words: 8095, Chapters: 1/3, Language: EnglishSeries: Part 1 of Asylum in QuebecFandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media TypesRating: Not RatedWarnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive WarningsCharacters: Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Irina Rozanova, Yuna Hollander, David Hollander, Alexei Rozanov | Andrei Rozanov, Svetlana Vetrova, Grigori RozanovRelationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov & Irina Rozanova, David Hollander & Shane Hollander & Yuna Hollander, David Hollander & Yuna Hollander & Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Irina Rozanova, Ilya Rozanov & Svetlana Vetrova, Alexei Rozanov | Andrei Rozanov & Ilya RozanovAdditional Tags: Teenage Ilya Rozanov, Teenage Shane Hollander, Friendship, Irina Rozanova Lives, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ballet, POV Ilya Rozanov, POV Shane Hollander, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Immigration & Emigration, Language Barrier, Hockey, Good Parents David Hollander/Yuna Hollander, BAMF Yuna Hollander, References Real Hockey Players, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Neurodivergent Shane Hollander, Protective Ilya Rozanov, No Romance, Asylum, Irina and Ilya escape, Angst, Ilya Rozanov is a Menace, Mental Health Issues, everyone moves to ottawa

by reikawawrites

Twelve year old Ilya comes home early on a fateful day. His mother Irina decides they are leaving Russia that night while Ilya’s father is away for the weekend. She doesn’t know where they are going, but running away is the only way to stay alive.

This is Part One of a two part series about Hollanov. The first part is from 2003-2005. The second part will start somewhere around 2013 when the boys are adults. There is no romance included in part one.

Words: 8095, Chapters: 1/3, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Asylum in Quebec

Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Characters: Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Irina Rozanova, Yuna Hollander, David Hollander, Alexei Rozanov | Andrei Rozanov, Svetlana Vetrova, Grigori Rozanov

Relationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov & Irina Rozanova, David Hollander & Shane Hollander & Yuna Hollander, David Hollander & Yuna Hollander & Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Irina Rozanova, Ilya Rozanov & Svetlana Vetrova, Alexei Rozanov | Andrei Rozanov & Ilya Rozanov

Additional Tags: Teenage Ilya Rozanov, Teenage Shane Hollander, Friendship, Irina Rozanova Lives, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ballet, POV Ilya Rozanov, POV Shane Hollander, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Immigration & Emigration, Language Barrier, Hockey, Good Parents David Hollander/Yuna Hollander, BAMF Yuna Hollander, References Real Hockey Players, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Neurodivergent Shane Hollander, Protective Ilya Rozanov, No Romance, Asylum, Irina and Ilya escape, Angst, Ilya Rozanov is a Menace, Mental Health Issues, everyone moves to ottawa

[military-newsboys]

Ilya: My fetish is saying some incredibly stupid shit and watching Shane speedrun the five stages of grief as he realizes with horror that he still wants me to fuck him.

[hollanovarchive]

okay i've read so many fics where either shane OR ilya's messages get leaked somehow and thats how we start the whole being outed/coming out thing HOWEVER i am wondering if you or anyone else has seen something where BOTH get their messages leaked (maybe as a part of a whole load of celebrity/athlete leaks) and people start realising shane's messages to lily and ilya's messages to jane have a lot in common 👀

I dont think there are any fics specific to what you are looking for, but I went ahead and did a list on leaked messages, whether it's both of them or just one of them!

Leaked Messages

🏒 #shanehollanderisoverparty | 1.0k

some of the leaked text messages that almost cost Shane's career and the internet reaction

🏒 Living nightmare | 1.5k

When Shane and ilya’s private text messages and photos get leaked for the whole world to see.how will they handle it?

🏒 What am i supposed to do? | 1.5k

Shane's entire icloud storage gets leaked and all of his photos and text messages are out for everyone to see

🏒 Leaked | 1.5k

What if their phones got stolen during the Boston-Montreal game in 2013 and the messages leaked?

🏒 perfect plan | 2.1k

🔒 Ilya's camera roll gets hacked.

🏒 Hacked | 2.1k

Heated Rivalry AU where the relationship reveal happens because David Hollander's phone gets hacked and approximately 5,000 pictures and videos of Shane and Ilya being cute (both together and individually) get dumped onto the internet.

🏒 The Call Is Coming from Inside the House | 2.6k

The messages were never meant to leave the chat. When they do, they expose the racism and homophobia festering inside the Montreal locker room, directed at their own captain. In the wake of leaked texts and public speculation, Shane Hollander chooses to go on record. Not to defend his relationship. Not to protect his reputation. But to set the timeline straight

🏒 if i fell, would you catch me? | 3.2k

Ilya's phone is hacked. Pictures of him and Shane and their life are leaked. Ilya can't believe he's hurt the man he loves, and Shane hates to see the man he loves hurting.

🏒 now we're in a freak storm every other weekend | 3.2k

 Some of Ilya's camera roll gets leaked in an iCloud hack. The internet reacts.

🏒 You’re an Angel, I’m a Dog | 3.3k

In which Ilya’s phone gets hacked and his photo album detailing his and shane’s relationship is leaked to the world. Shane doesn’t understand at first why he would have kept all the photos—the evidence, but he learns to understand.

🏒 Lessons in Two-Factor Authentication | 3.5k

Ilya Rozanov's gmail gets hacked in February 2021. To everyone's surprise, they find zero sex tapes, one Shane Hollander-shaped grocery list, and one list of travel notes.

🏒 What am i supposed to do? | 4.2k

Shane's entire icloud storage gets leaked and all of his photos and text messages are out for everyone to see

🏒 Let The Record Show | 6.2k

As friends and family close ranks around Shane and Ilya, the rest of the world starts catching up. The interview spreads, the leaked messages refuse to die quietly, and Montreal finds itself losing control of the story one reaction at a time

🏒 #FREELILY (shane hollander vs hockeytwitter) | 6.5k

bro if I had a nickel every time shane hollander was cancelled online because his weird ass texts with lily were leaked i’d have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice

🏒 I'll be Jane | 7.1k

After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

🏒 The leaked Rozanov chat | 7.8k

Ilya kept the messages, he archived them and saved them to his drive - the old ones. And then he gets hacked and his messages with Jane - from the very beginning until that summer at the cottage - are suddenly out there for everyone to see.

🏒 Shane Hollander is a (checks leaked texts) freak | 8.1k

Shane Hollander's sexts and sappy texts with Lily get leaked, twitter reacts

🏒 Nothing there...right?! | 8.1k

After a major hack exposing athletes for many (stupid/dumb/terrible) things, Ilya Rozanov's messages are laid bare for the world to see. Luckily for him and Shane, Shane is very paranoid (though can you still call it paranoia when the doomscenario you were preparing for actually happens), and Ilya has (very dutifully) deleted every text between them. So there shouldn't be anything to expose...right?!

🏒 Leaked messages are getting us in trouble | 8.1k

Shane and Ilya's text get leaked, luckily they deleted anything incriminating and now they're outed as friends.

🏒 inching across the great divide | 9.8k

Someone has hacked Ilya's iCloud account. Ten years of text messages have been published for the whole world to see.

🏒 #janegate | 10.5k

the internet reacts to leaked messages between Ilya Rozanov and the mysterious Jane

🏒 wishing you the best (in the worst way) | 12.1k

In which the Voyageurs’ secret homophobic group chat leaks, Shane decides it might be time to tell the world how long he’s been seeing Ilya, and said world loses their shit.

🏒 and i spit out the seeds | 24.2k

A video of Shane sucking Ilya’s dick is leaked. Over the next twenty-four hours, Ilya goes on an odyssey.

🏒 when the world sees (we run toward each other) | 26.8k

One security camera. One leaked video. One choice that changes everything.

🏒 something you can fix | 26.8k

Shane’s conversation with Rose is secretly recorded. Months later, after the All-Star game and Ilya’s confession in Russian, the video gets leaked online. Shane is outed to the world while Ilya is in Russia, and must now finish the 2016-2017 season with the entire world in on his secret.

🏒 When It All Melts Down | 143k

Shane was finally starting to get through all the trauma of the last few years when he's hit with something new: Rose's phone is hacked and intimate details of his sex life--and his autism diagnosis--are revealed. Somehow it's worse than the last leak when he was outed, and he ends up in the ER. Things get worse from there. A lot worse.

🏒 Snapping Birch | WIP

uhhh so im on r/shanehollander rn and some guy is claiming to have cloned shane’s dad’s phone and uploaded it to the internet?? has anyone else clicked on this link will it give me a virus if i do

If you have any suggestions, feel free to add (:

Make sure to check out other fic rec request here -> Requested Lists

[dropofbittersea]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/78109881/chapters/204709051

[ofteasandinks]

I know people refer to Tumblr as the "Shane website", and I'm here for Hollanov. However, at this point, could someone direct me to where an Ilya website would be? Because I am so tired of seeing Ilya being shit on, made the butt of jokes, and dehumanized in order to elevate Shane. I'm so tired of it. So maybe the Ilya website would be more apt to show them as the equals they are.

At this point I have to go back and reheat the show to remind myself that Shane actually does love Ilya and loves him as a person- a talented, smart person who is Shane's rival- because with how fandom is- Shane's merely tolerating Ilya, is Ilya's victim, or just has Ilya as a pet.

Y'all I'm so tired I haven't even updated my fic in 2 weeks. Maybe I'll start a community or something.

[illriseurdevil]

if u do start a community PLEASE let me know.

[sozvezdiyay]

Obsessed with the idea of Shane randomly encountering Bad Bunny at a bar just like he encountered Rose. (Because he has the BEST luck.)

But he doesn't know who Bad Bunny is, and Bad Bunny doesn't know who Shane is... So they're both just making small talk with this hot guy they met at the bar while they wait for their drinks. They're enjoying talking to someone who doesn't know their celebrity status. And Shane is getting a little flustered despite being married, because damn if this guy isn't his type, and Bad Bunny is lowkey flirting with him.

And then Ilya shows up and has a heart attack. Alternating between fanboying over Bad Bunny and wanting to fight him. Just standing there frozen with this bonkers expression on his face.

And Shane is completely oblivious. "Hey, you're back! I ordered you a beer. Oh, and this is Benito. Benito, this is my husband Ilya........... Baby, are you okay? Why do you look like that?"

[gaynehollander]

Shane has always been a big napper. When he was young, school really tired him out. So many different people around him for such an extended period of time, expectations of certain behaviour, having to socialise, having to pay attention, having to answer questions, the constant hum of fluorescent lights overhead. He came home exhausted and in need of a nap more often than not. There were also the panics. Sometimes they were big, sometimes they were small, but they usually left him feeling wrung out and he didn't really function well until he'd had a nap after one. Becoming a professional hockey player hasn't changed this, if anything it's made it a useful skill. A little post-practice nap is sometimes just the thing he needs and a pre-game nap can make all the difference to his play. With the constant travelling and endless timezone changes, napping becomes a necessity.

Ilya, however, never quite got the hang of it. He knows a lot of his teammates nap whenever and wherever, falling asleep before games in hotel rooms or resting up on the road, snores filling the team bus or plane, but Ilya can't quite get there. It's probably a remnant from childhood, from not feeling safe enough to let his guard down like that. He can't even imagine what the reaction would have been if his father had come home to find him asleep on the couch. He was certainly quick enough to accuse him of laziness without Ilya handing over additional ammunition for free.

But Ilya loves holding Shane when he naps. He loves how quickly his body grows lax, loves the gradual shift in the depth of his breaths, loves the warmth of his body pressed against him, loves his sleepy little sounds and scrunched little face when he wakes up, loves that Shane trusts him enough to be that vulnerable around him. Shane doesn't really know that Ilya doesn't nap, not with how often Ilya's the one to suggest one, not with the way Ilya makes sure to feign coming out of sleep as soon as he feels Shane shift in his arms in that particular way that suggests he's waking up. He doesn't want to risk Shane feeling like Ilya's doing him a favour with holding him through his naps, doesn't know whether he can admit how much he loves their naps even though they never include Ilya falling asleep. He likes the way things are. He doesn't want to risk it changing.

Eventually it does change though. Not because Shane discovers Ilya's secret of never actually falling asleep but because, a few years into their marriage, Ilya start... actually falling asleep. He never plans to. He loves getting to spend that time resting with Shane while staying alert enough to catalogue his every sleep-muddled sigh, his every shift. He just feels so warm, so full of love, so incredibly safe that one day he just... drifts off. After that it keeps happening. He has Shane in his arms, he's enjoying his breathing, he's loving this moment, he doesn't want to lose consciousness, he wants to stay in it, but his eyelids are drooping. He lets them shut, just for a minute, but then he wakes up to Shane's smiling face, his eyes soft and sleep-warm, his hands gentle as they cradle Ilya's face and run through his curls, and he can't be mad at himself for having missed out on those precious moments if this is what he gets to wake up to. Time is no longer a limited resource. Safety is no longer conditional on remaining alert. He has the rest of his life to enjoy this, to let himself be lulled to sleep by Shane's breathing and waking up to his soft touches. He can let his eyes drift shut and trust that Shane will still be there when he wakes.

[scunthotter]

I think Ilya has a little fantasy of being snuggled up on a couch with Shane under one arm and Sveta under the other watching a hockey game and listening to the two of them eviscerate the two teams. It's not even really sexual (although Shane and Svetlana are the two hottest people Ilya knows), its just if he could be one place at any given time with any given people it would be there with them.