Let's be honest here, there is no real theme...

I'm Emi. I'm a 20 year old girl who tends to obsess over many people and fandoms. I'm especially partial to pretty actresses, cute animals, and music related stuff.

[1softe]

ueong_onigiri

[dutchstore]

The sea lion is trying to eat my hand by Edward Kim

[desrted-deactivated20130602]

[wifi-wizerd]

LOOK AT HIM HE IS THE TEA

[bananajeph-deactivated20180116]

“van gogh ate yellow paint because-” he was suicidal, karen

[boggblog]

“If Van Goah had antidepressants, we wouldn’t have his artwo-” We’d have a lot more of his work, Karen, and who the fuck cares about what we get from him  he deserved to be well, karen. 

[arrowdite]

[splodey-goat-deactivated2018121]

Friendly reminder that we have first hand accounts from Van Gogh saying his art suffered when he was depressed, and that the time he spent in a mental hospital was the most productive of his life.  “Starry Night” is literally the view outside his hospital room window.  So even if you wanna buy into the “People are only as valuable as what they produce” mentality then getting Vinny on some Prozac is a win/win.

[sadboyfactory]

I just spent a good amount of time convincing my grandpa to let me have candles in my room.. talking about how I know about fire safety and shit,,, which I DO, right?

My power went out and I had some candles going. As soon as I blow them out to go to bed the goddamn fire alarm goes off…. because of the smoke trails….

That thing is so fucking sensitive… holy shit… holy shit…

[bytalosthiscantbehappening]

DUDE I FEEL THAT. That happens whenever our oven catches on fire, as soon as the actual fire is gone the smoke alarm will start screaming. I swear those things detect lack of emergency better than actual emergency.

[sadboyfactory]

Hold on, I’m sorry, you said your oven catches on FIRE as though it’s a regular fucking occurrence. Is this the same oven that got the door pried off by a fucking chicken nugget? What is it with you and ovens??

[bytalosthiscantbehappening]

Boi I am a curse to ovens and stoves, I’ve started more fires and other assorted incidents than I can count. Like ever since I turned fifteen our oven has caught on fire or broken once or twice a year.

OK THAT FUCKING CHICKEN NUGGET–I SWEAR TO GOD. Ok, so for those who have not heard this story, about a year or two ago I wanted food but my mum was out so I called her and she told me to make chicken nuggets. So I tried. I took the nuggets out of the freezer, put them on the cookie sheet and slid them into the oven, seems simple right?

Well one of those little fuckers fell, and not onto the floor, no, that would have been too easy. This nugget wedged itself between the oven and the door, in the crack between them. I tried to pry it out, but it was pretty stuck. I figured, “ok I’ll close the oven and it’ll break in half,” wHICH IS PERFECTLY LOGICAL.

BUT THIS NUGGET, NO, THIS NUGGET WAS A NUGGET OF STEEL. I close the oven door and I hear a metallic crack, and the oven door won’t close correctly. I try to open it back up and suddenly one hinge snaps and half the door hits the floor, twisting the other hinge beyond repair. The nugget falls, it’s still in one piece.

A week before that, we had to replace one of the coils because it exploded while making dinner.

[princesswitchy]

My whole family assumes I’m straight and it’s like if I say anything like “wow that girl is so pretty” they’re like “you’re pretty too don’t compare yourself’ like no mom the only thing I’m comparing is the width between her legs and how well I could fit.

[mikeyduss-deactivated20180207]

Literally best thing I’ve ever heard.

[sailorshelli-deactivated2017041]

[tokkiteeth]

reasons to love anna paquin: she gets bifurious on larry king’s ass

[rednines]

If you add two pounds of sugar to literally one ton of concrete it will ruin the concrete and make it unable to set properly which is good to know if you wanna resist something being built, French anarchists used this to resist prison construction in the 80s

[catgirlcaliphate]

I’m just gonna go ahead and reblog this for purely educational purposes.

[eggcup-deactivated20180129]

added bonus is that concrete now taste good

[protect-lgbtqia-kids]

Sugar does not really do that. What you need is citric acid (you get that to get the hard water residues out of your pots/water boiler/washing machine), looks like sugar granules. Or concentrated vinegar. Cement needs a high ph to bind properly. So if you add acid, it won’t properly set and/or needs 3-4 times longer.

[femonologue]

Speaking as someone who works in the concrete forming industry: the easiest way to severely fuck up any large concrete pour is to delay it at the wrong moment.

If someone is trying to build a huge fuckoff concrete thing - say, for instance, a giant wall - they’re going to need an obscene quantity of concrete, and that’s all going to have to be transported there from the nearest mixing plant. This means they’ll have multiple trucks coming by to decant concrete in consecutive pours while the workers place it and vibrate it to ensure it all intermixes and sets properly, forming a monolithic mass. If one pour is allowed to set before the next one is added, you get a big, ugly, possibly structurally unsound gap between the two called a “cold joint.” A bad enough cold joint can completely fuck your whole project because the next engineer or inspector who sets foot on that site is going to take one look at that motherfucker and immediately embark on a quest for blood vengeance. You will literally have to cut that whole section of wall out, slap some dowels in the nearest structurally sound bits, and re-form and pour the offending segment from scratch, which represents a fortune in cost overruns and will make everyone involved very upset. This is an especially bad problem in hot climates, because the concrete curing process is exothermic - that stuff sets much faster when it’s really hot out, and its 28-day compressive strength tends to be poorer as well.

So if, hypothetically speaking, you wanted to completely shit up a wannabe dictator’s enormous unfeasible poured concrete vanity project, you could literally just randomly hassle and delay every concrete truck on its way there. Dude’s gonna end up with a giant worthless pile of shitty crumbling concrete and exposed reinforcing steel, and an army of pissed-off contractors to boot.

[ten-and-donna]

reblogging for purely educational purposes nothing more

[fuckyeahcommunity]

Reblogging some fun facts, nothing serious

[ironinkpen]

tips for writing bilingual characters

there are different types of bilinguals

the All Around: speaks, reads, and writes both languages pretty well

the Conversational: one language is stronger than the other; can speak the other language a lot better than they read/write it (a lot of kids of immigrants are this type)

the High Schooler: understands what’s being said to them in the other language, can’t really speak it

don’t have your characters randomly drop words from their other language mid-sentence around people who don’t speak it lol

languages are a mindset thing. like if i’m around english-speakers, i’m speaking english and i don’t really switch

“hey chad let’s go to the biblioteca” sljdflsjf if i ever read this sentence i’ll probably spend 5 minutes laughing and then close your story

exception: the character is speaking in their weaker language and forgot a word (”where are the…? uh… chaves…. keys! keys, where are they?”)

otherwise really the only time your character should be randomly switching languages mid-sentence is if they’re talking to another bilingual

i’ve legit never heard a spanish speaker say “ay dios mio” to gringos lmao

conversations between two bilingual people can take a few different forms:

Pick One: they pick one language and kinda stick with it for the whole conversation (”you okay?” “yeah, i’m good. how’re you? “i’m fine, but your dad-”)

Back-and-Forth: someone says something in one language, the other person replies in the other (”tudo bem?” “yeah, i’m good. how’re you?” “tou bem, mais o seu pai-”)

Combo: they speak a combo of the two languages, like spanglish (”tudo bem?” “sim, tou bem. how’re you?” “i’m fine, mais o seu pai-”)

when in doubt: just ask a bilingual to look at your stuff and tell you if anything sounds weird

[phoenixyfriend]

One random thing that I don’t really see pop up in fiction, but definitely happens in my life: switching languages around friends who don’t speak the language for the humor factor, especially when you can assume that they can pick up the meaning based on context anyway.

I will absolutely tell my friends “požuri” instead of “hurry up” when I’m waiting for them on the stretor something, just because their eye-rolls amuse me, or “daj mi” instead of “give it to me” because the accompanying hand gestures will do the translation work for me.

I get that this isn’t something everyone does, but it’s still a thing to consider? Some people are definitely like me and deliberately drop foreign words into conversations with friends who don’t speak the language as a kind of… inside joke, I guess?

It also might be different for people who have a larger population of speakers of both languages in their area. There aren’t a lot of Serbs in the US, so it’s unlikely that a random person nearby will understand me when I do this.

[exemplarybehaviour]

It think it’s interesting to note that combo-speaking between bilinguals can look drastically different depending on if they’re native bilinguals or learned bilinguals. For example, I’m a native English who learned Spanish, and most of my friends are also native English speakers who learned Spanish. We all speak to each other in weird Spanglish that probably sounds completely different from the Spanglish a native bilingual might speak. “Cmon Chad lets go to the biblioteca” sounds exactly like something I would say to Chad, fellow English-speaker living in Spain (or…. I’d probably say ‘venga’ instead of c'mon because that’s like every third word in Castilian Spanish). Or earlier today my flatmate commented to me, “I don’t know how you can aguant that,” where aguant is some bastard child of aguantar (to stand) and probably completely ridiculous sounding to any native speaker. This style of speaking seems to be more or less the same amongst English-speakers who’ve lived in Spanish speaking countries (with some vocabulary differences based on where they lived). I, personally, frequently forget not every English speaker also has a decent grasp of Spanish, and I say weird things in Spanglish to friends and family all the time. Conversely, I think I’ve accidentally spoken English to a non-English speaker like…. twice.

The context of when a bilingual is used to using what language will also affect when they speak a language. I’ve worked at five different bilingual schools in Spain where the main language of instruction was the local language, and while in the context of school both students and coworkers can struggle to keep speaking Spanish, even when they know I don’t speak the local language. One time a coworker wanted to tell an anecdote to me and another teacher, but decided to tell it once in English (for me) and then again in Catalan (for the other teacher), even though ALL THREE OF US speak Spanish. Outside of school, however, the same people generally had no problem maintaining a conversation in Spanish because it’s the main language used in the larger towns. In a similar example, because I learned all the vocab in Spanish, I literally cannot read a menu of Spanish food in English. Like, I know the words, but… they just don’t make sense.

Not sure if that’s going to be useful to anyone writing-wise, but I think it’s interesting.

NO WAIT, I also wanted to note: it’s also possible to completely blank on the word in your native or stronger language.

[caturday]

[kitterjitters]

how do cats even work

[dorky-kazard]

Cats:

A cat can jump up to five times its own height in a single bound.

The little tufts of hair in a cat’s ear that help keep out dirt direct sounds into the ear, and insulate the ears are called “ear furnishings.”

The ability of a cat to find its way home is called “psi-traveling.” Experts think cats either use the angle of the sunlight to find their way or that cats have magnetized cells in their brains that act as compasses.

One reason that kittens sleep so much is because a growth hormone is released only during sleep.

A cat has 230 bones in its body. A human has 206. A cat has no collarbone, so it can fit through any opening the size of its head.

A cat’s nose pad is ridged with a unique pattern, just like the fingerprint of a human.

If they have ample water, cats can tolerate temperatures up to 133 °F.

A cat’s heart beats nearly twice as fast as a human heart, at 110 to 140 beats a minute.

 Cats don’t have sweat glands over their bodies like humans do. Instead, they sweat only through their paws.

The claws on the cat’s back paws aren’t as sharp as the claws on the front paws because the claws in the back don’t retract and, consequently, become worn.

Cats make about 100 different sounds. Dogs make only about 10.

Researchers are unsure exactly how a cat purrs. Most veterinarians believe that a cat purrs by vibrating vocal folds deep in the throat. To do this, a muscle in the larynx opens and closes the air passage about 25 times per second.

A cat almost never meows at another cat, mostly just humans. Cats typically will spit, purr, and hiss at other cats.

A cat’s back is extremely flexible because it has up to 53 loosely fitting vertebrae. Humans only have 34.

Some cats have survived falls of over 65 feet (20 meters), due largely to their “righting reflex.” The eyes and balance organs in the inner ear tell it where it is in space so the cat can land on its feet. Even cats without a tail have this ability.

A cat can travel at a top speed of approximately 31 mph (49 km) over a short distance.

A cat’s hearing is better than a dog’s. And a cat can hear high-frequency sounds up to two octaves higher than a human.

A cat’s brain is biologically more similar to a human brain than it is to a dog’s. Both humans and cats have identical regions in their brains that are responsible for emotions.

And that’s how cats work.

[darneildtpg]

I learned more about cats in this post than I did in my freshamn biology class in college

[cady-nighthorse]

[theworld-onherhips-deactivated2]

“Women aren’t baby-making factories!” Okay I hate to be ~that~ anatomy nerd, but if you think of the human body as a factory, the female body is literally a baby making factory! From the way our organs are set up, to our hormones, and even our external parts, our bodies are geared toward baby making. So yes, women are baby making factories 😁

[officialclinicescort]

Fuck you.

[kiwianaroha]

@theworld-onherhips did you flunk high school biology or what?

The female reproductive system is actually extremely hostile towards embryos

Our species have hemichorial placentas, designed to weed out all but the fittest embryos. We develop thick endometrial linings from a ridiculously young age in order to aggressively protect ourselves from what is essentially a ruthless parasite that is literally sucking our blood; every time we have a period our body is shedding blood and tissue so that it can efficiently eject embryos deemed unworthy, which is most of them

On top of that, there is only a 12 hour window each menstrual cycle during which we can conceive - over the course of a year, there is less than a week of time in which we are in danger of conceiving. Which is why it is perfectly normal for a healthy couple to go 12 months or more without getting pregnant. 

The way our hormones are calibrated is to protect US, not the fetus. The wider pelvic girdle, extra fat, etc. is about minimizing the damage a fetus can do to the pregnant person

[howprolifeofyou]

I love getting biology lessons that also happen to shit on misogynistic anti-choicers.

[lintujasukissa-deactivated20250]

Also, I don’t know a lot about factories, but spending 9 months to make (typically) just one product and then not knowing when you can make another one sounds like a really poor business model.

[bathtimefunduck]

Also what we consider carrying “to term” would kill pretty much any other creature on earth? Babies are not fully developed when they come out, they’re helpless to predators and can’t even stumble their way to a food source like most baby animals. 

Scientists believe to “fully grow” a human, it would actually take 18-21 months, to equate the development of other primates’ babies.

 http://www.livescience.com/22715-pregnancy-length-baby-size.html

The female body literally cannot carry a child to full development. It would kill us. We’re more like… game developers at Ubisoft— we kick the product out before it’s ready and hope we can work out the bugs to make them playable as they get older. 

[puppiestotherescue]

[dxactivatxdusxr]

A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

[fitzefitcher]

#this is team skull

[its-just-a-phage]

The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying “You can pet me, but don’t pick me up!” One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him “did you see the sign?” He said “yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don’t pet them!” Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said “I didn’t read it right did I?” And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said “its ok, i know you’ve got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits” And I still haven’t gotten over that interaction.

[yallmightt]

I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He’s a little thing tbh we call him short and long. So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like “hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your’s is so small I think it’s a good place to start.” Ofc I was like “yes he’s very friendly!” So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks “can I pick him up?” And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two’s lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes “hey man, it’s okay just relax I’d never let anything hurt you. He’s a good boy.” I’ll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me (5'3 , glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like ‘ah yes the two least intimidating living things I’ve seen in Boston all day he’ll feel relaxed around them’ and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy

[mintycoolnessisrelevant]

A good post, pure.

[casper-the-friendly-being-blog]

Another adorable story has been added.

[sepulchritude]

my fav trope is like, nonhuman characters not understanding human needs/customs but still being super supportive of their human companion

“look what I found while exploring this planet’s surface!” “kilrak please I’m trying to sleep” “ah yes your human circadian rhythm. *stage whispering* I am supposed to be quiet during this time in your rhythm, yes?”

“the book I purchased on ragnok V says humans require physical touch when upset. therefore, I shall engage in a ‘hug’ with you.” *supremely awkward five-armed hug ensues*

*human sneezes* “OH MY GOD SIL'EEN GET THE MEDIC OUR HUMAN IS DYING”

“this pamphlet I received recently says that humans require companions and packmates in the form of small earth creatures. you should have told me this before we departed earth, but it is no worry. we will have to stop at the next trade planet to get you one of these ‘cats’ or ‘dogs’.”

[agentquinn]

imagine the aliens really purchasing a kitten for one of their rough and world-weary scifi badass human companions and watching in helpless wonderment what ensues 

“she’s been cuddling that small animal for the past fifteen minutes just going ‘kitty, kitty’. did we - did we break our human?”

a more seasoned alien puts one of their tentacles around the younger one as the rest of the team gathers to watch their human make kissy noises. 

“no, kilrak,” the alien says. “we did good.” 

[frowningfox]

“Human-Steve! I have heard that today is the anniversary of your hatching! According to my human culture pamphlet, it is customary to set a sugary pastry on fire while chanting your species’ growth incantation and presenting sacrifices wrapped in shiny paper. I am afraid to ask, in case this ritual is sacred and this request therefor insensitive… but may I be allowed to participate? It sounds much more fascinating than molting.”

[anexperimentallife]

“Human Steve, I have read about your ritual dance called ‘The Hokey Pokey,’ performed mostly at mate-bonding celebrations after the guests reach an elevated level of intoxication. But Human Steve, how do I know WHICH left foot to put in, put out, and shake all about? I do not… Human Steve, why are you laughing?”

[captainarwenpond221b-deactivate]

“Human-Steve, you are… you are eating, but it is not one of your ritual fueling times. Are you dying? Is everything alright? Have you not been receiving enough sustenance? Do I need to get you better things to eat? Human-Steve, why are you trying to hide that food?”

[rinneavicula]

“Human-Steve, my research has informed me of a grave oversight in your care that I, as your companion, have made! Thus, I have gathered collections of fictional human literature to read aloud at the time of your bed. Which is more to your liking: “The Care and Keeping of Cacti” or “1001 Crossword Puzzles?” Human-Steve? Human-Steve, I am serious.“

[hongbubs]

One of the things I love the most about this post is how “Human-Steve” makes me think that there is also an alien called Steve in the squad, and I just imagine the first meeting and introduction where there is the human guy introducing himself as Steve and then there is this huge blue guy with like 5 legs and bug eyes and apparently Steve is like a completely regular name on his planet too in some intergalactical coincidence

that was off topic sorry.

[aethersea]

that was the best possible tangent, thank you for this addition

[roachpatrol]

a comprehensive list of steves aboard the interplanetary tradeship felicitous sine wave:

-regular steve: nine feet tall. furry. six eyes. they are extremely normal. 

-extra-regular steve: human steve’s pet cat, gifted to them by regular steve

-human steve: six feet tall. no fur. two eyes. identifies as male despite all evidence to the contrary. very quirky. does not lay eggs. 

-tall steve: this is a joke. tall steve is a sentient three-inch diameter silicon wafer. xe’s extremely romantic, if you’re into silicon wafers (many are after meeting tall steve). 

-abnormal steve: do not call him this to his face. looks basically like regular steve but is male. unlike human steve, is obviously, observably, and obnoxiously male, and will show you pictures of all of his brood eggs if you don’t move fast enough. 

-steve (just steve): was hired first. five feet tall. also has five feet. is somewhat star shaped and somewhat spider shaped. human steve is scared of her. 

-evil steve: the captain. you can call it evil steve all you want, if what you want is not to have a job anymore. 

[midnight-femme-deactivated20201]

the cis are getting out of hand

[umblrgumblr-deactivated20201112]

fucking furries assigning their children fursonas before they’re even born

[casfucker]

i just had to add

[w0wls]

It hurts

[rar3kain]

when you’re kid turns out to be non binary 

[chaotic-cosmic-horror]

THE LAST ONE IS MEEEEEE

[pussylightlytoasted]

I demand to see more “gender revealing” cakes

[pinpronk]

so i did a google search and lemme tell you the cishets are fuckin weird

guns and glitter was a recurring theme

[thehotgirlproject]

YYYYYYYY THO

[domsoldblog]

why would guns even be apart of a cake describing a human infant anyway…how is a deadly weapon cute

[jaethemermaid]

Let me clarify for y'all this some WHITE cis shit

[thedarkestdearie]

^^^^^ For real

[infiniteglitterfall]

ARE computers flammable? I feel like they’re probably not?

[arionwind]

This depends entirely on how much uncooked rice you have shoved in the floppy drive.

[infiniteglitterfall]

…Ok I feel like there’s a story behind this.

[arionwind]

There is, yes!

After I quit school, I worked briefly as a computer repair tech.  Going to people’s houses or businesses, fixing their various bugs, etc.  While I would rapidly decide that field was not for me because of the one businessman who needed multiple “cup holder” replacements (you know, you push that button and that plastic holder thing with the hole comes out … I think it is technically call the “Cup Depository Tray”?  CD, right?), he is not the most memorable encounter.  No, that goes to one of the nicest ladies I ever encountered on this job.

She called us out because her computer had stopped turning on, and wouldn’t even make a noise when she tried to push the button.  One day it had just shut off while she was using it and stubbornly refused to come back on, and could we please see what we could do to fix it?

So I go out there expecting some wire had gotten loose and there was no power getting to the machine or something.  It happens sometimes if a machine gets banged around enough, or if someone fiddles with it wrong or is careless putting it together, computers are finicky like that.  But as soon as I get to the box itself, I know it isn’t that simple, because of the smell. I have smelled computers with dust all up in them, that isn’t uncommon, but this is just vile and, more importantly, entirely new.

I am now more curious than afraid, so I open it up and there is a mass of goopy off-white mush spilling all over everything, parts of it are burnt to circuits, there is almost nothing untouched by the mass.  But by far the worst off is the A drive.  That is the obvious source of the problem, and the thing has … not “exploded”, but more burst from the pressure of whatever this stuff was.

So I ask the woman if she had used the floppy drive recently and noticed any problems, and she says no, not until the whole machine stopped working.  But I come to find out what she used it for.

Turns out this woman was a devout Shinto practitioner and believed that her computer (among other things) had a soul that needed to be respected an honored.  Which, fair enough.  But she chose to honor it by feeding it a grain of rice every time she had to wake it up and disturb its rest.  For years this kindhearted woman had been putting a grain of rice into the A drive every time she turned it on or woke the thing up from sleep mode.  And eventually that was enough pressure to break the drive and start spilling out onto the internal bits, where the heat melted it all and caused no end of problems.

After that it was a simple enough thing to explain that there are better ways to honor and take care of your computer’s needs, what with virus scans or defrags and the like, but that poor device was entirely lost.

I guess the moral of the story here is that you can try your best to be good and still wind up hurting people?  Maybe?  Or else it’s that even the most horrible out of context problem isn’t nearly as frustrating as one middle aged jerk who won’t freaking listen when you tell him that CD trays are not for your dang coffee cups!

The end~

[hollowedskin]

ok but im so taken with the fact that she was feeding her computer to apologise for waking it up?? thats so sweet????