queer as in fuck off

@imjustmeat

Peter, they/them, waiting for quarantine to be over so I can eat the rich.

877 posts

as much as the concept of Jesus being a fairly normal lad has its charms, im personally very intrigued by the idea of him being just… extremely weird. not even in a mystical sense, just…….staggeringly BIZZARRE.

you go to the well to get some water, and here’s Miriam’s boy, staring at the sky, completely still. his expression is unreadable. you hazard a hello and ask how he’s doing, and he slowly, unblinkingly, lowers his gaze on you (he’s 8 and is missing his frontal teeth, not that this is making you any less uncomfortable) and says “I cannot speak of the state of my being, Nathan son of Saul, my brother, but rejoice for the water you shall take today will be as pure as the soul of the children of Heaven”

…you start sweating

normal person in 1st century Nazareth: making my way downtown, walking fast

*sees J boy, 8 yo, staring at you from across the street*

normal person: walking faster

even funnier, the only person 100% on board with his Prophetic Kid Talk is his mother Miriam, an otherwise placid, absolutely normal woman around 25 or so

kid JC, coming home at twilight, a single white dove following him and chirping with weirdly human-like precision:

moth̫́er,̦͌ ̮̉i h͙̉av͔̽e ͓͗b̘̃r̞̓o̮͘u̲̒gh̟͒t̺́ you a do̗͐ṽ͙e̢͘ ͈̾m͒͢a͈̽dē̝ ỏ̘f ͈̓c̆͜l͔̂aỷ͇ aṋ̑d̳̿ g͢͞i̹̾fted̖͡ ̻͐it ͓͂w̖̿it̎͜h t̥̃h͙͒e ̨̒m̧̂i̡̍ŗ͒â̫cḷ̔è̤ ̛̻of̞̅ l̘̈i̛̦fè̳

Miriam: ! that’s my little boy :) now let’s go get ready for dinner :)

her husband Yosef, a carpenter who only marginally got signed up for this:

bargains-by-duckface

This post is so Christian, but it’s the spicy kind of Christian that gets you murdered by other Christians for heresy, so I’m torn.

literally biggest form of compliment i’ve ever gotten

that means the angels are babysitters then

here have more

patricia-von-arundel

You guys really need to read Christopher Moore’s Lamb, if you haven’t.

Always reblog Cryptid Jesus

I made more. cause it’s fun

I love that you guys used their actual names

I did not consider Eldritch Baby Jesus.

God I know you have a sense of humor because otherwise there’s no explanation for the platypus and I hope it extends to comics about baby cryptid Jesus

Wanna write, like, a super profound comic or poem or something but my words are chunky peanut butter and they are stuck to my molars

#writing #sometimes i just wanna say something #but the thing i wanna say doesnt exist in a way that i can write it down like i am painting a landscape #i have to find new ways of saying things and thats hard #when youre working with half dried acrylics you bought on sale from the middle school book fair

spiderman-homecomeme

never let anyone tell u how many commas can go in a sentence, u measure that shit with ur heart

HELLO MY FELLOW AMERICANS

#i am so hyper #im sleep deprived which means AAAAAAA #*shakes my head rapidly so it kind of blurs to the casual observer*

annabellehectorworldofweird

madcrafter1-deactivated20190322

Why am i laughing so hard?

THE FUCKING HANDS

the-real-fucking-daddy

help- i-

THIS SHOW IS SO PURE!

It’s worth noting that Kenneth spent the entire episode making the game (and the subsequent fight) as inclusive as possible for JJ and his disabled friends (all of whom were played by disabled actors/actresses).

BONUS:

Bonus #2

Of course I had to show the best part:

i am a:

⚪ man

⚪ woman

🔘 gorgeous youth

seeking a:

⚪ man

⚪ woman

🔘 equal opportunity death match

Diversity win! The gorgeous youth’s death match is equal opportunity

"overwatch means nothing to me" how could a game with such heavy LGBT rep mean nothing to you

ok so today we’re smoking crack

did someone say heavy lgbt rep

night-dark-woods

[ID: heavy from team fortress 2 with a machine gun and a rainbow ammo belt.]

diversity win! we have secured the control point

injuries-in-dust

PETA just ruins everything. Can we agree?

This feels like Alaskan Parks and Rec and that’s a compliment

thatsbelievable

woodlandvampire

Thank you to the skilled journalists at the NYT for uncovering this nefarious communist plot by China: winning gold medals in the Olympics

sweatervested-cat

Seriously this is taking anti-Chinese sentiments too fucking far. Of course a nation wants to win golds, what else do you think they want in the Olympics.

Some US college athletes who will never go to the Olympics went to special high schools, or were home schooled, so that they could train upwards of 8 hours a day while getting the bare minimum education required for college entry on a sports scholarship

The United States has got no business criticizing the “Chinese Sports Machine” when our high schools and universities- including ones that receive public funds- often devote as much or even more money to sports as they do education.

Obi-Wan Kenobi is a True Jedi. Not because he’s mastered himself and his emotions or anything (though, that, too) but because he’s a giant fucking nerd who wants to study literal brain worms and gets mad when Anakin stomps them to death and he probably thinks the height of a Saturday night is a grammar argument with another Jedi Master about some obscure text philosophizing on the Force. This is the only metric by which a True Jedi can be measured, I will accept nothing else.

ginathethundergoddess

Excuse you. True jedi are measured by how many Lego studs they collect.

This is the only correction I am willing to accept.

fandomsandfeminism

When people get pregnant, they will give up smoking, give up alcohol, give up coffee and soda, give up fondue and raw cheese, give up cold cuts and sushi, all because they have heard somewhere, from someone, that these things can be bad for the baby. They don’t know the research, haven’t looked at the studies, can’t talk about sample sizes and control groups. But their dedication to their future child’s safety is so strong, their caution is so overpowering, that they give up these things just in case.

So it baffles me when those same people will insist on spanking their kids.

Even when they are shown the research.

Regardless of what the experts in the field say.

No matter who says it.

Or how it is said.

People are so invested in this ability to hit their kids without judgement or consequence, that it absolutely confounds me.

fandomsandfeminism

I’m just going to say this- if you come on this post, which specifically critiques spanking children, ignore all the links which provide evidence for why spanking is bad, and argue that you either DO or WILL spank your own children -

You are either an intentionally bad parent and/or a deeply damaged child.

We can forgive our parents for fucking up in their ignorance and acting out on their own damage. You don’t have to condemn them or hate them for it. They loved us, and they weren’t perfect.

But you are your own person and you have an obligation to be better.

rpepperpotshipssciencebros

I think most people agree that hitting a baby hard enough to make them cry is not OK. In fact, you could be brought up on abuse charges for it. Non-consensually hitting an adult hard enough to make them cry is illegal as well; it’s assault/battery.

So why do some people believe that there is there some nebulous age in which it’s perfectly OK to hit someone hard enough to make them cry? Someone who is too young and too small to even defend themselves against you? Someone who you are supposed to protect?

“When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor’s wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn’t believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking–the first of his life. And she told him that he would have to go outside and find a switch for her to hit him with. The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, “Mama, I couldn’t find a switch, but here’s a rock that you can throw at me.”

All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child’s point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone. And the mother took the boy onto her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because violence begins in the nursery–one can raise children into violence.“

- Astrid Lindgren, Never Violence

That nebulous age is “old enough to have done something to “deserve” corporal punishment but too young/vulnerable to hit back.” This child did something I didn’t like and instead of being a parent I’m going to traumatize it right out of them.

Babies are entirely helpless, we can’t manipulate them into behaving a certain way (mostly) but once a child is old enough to have their behavior shaped by an adult its easier to just hit than have to deal with the reality that sometimes being a parent means dealing with things you don’t like, because just like that baby, children can’t help the things they do.

Parents that strike children were never taught how to cope with their emotions. That’s what it comes down to.

Timmy is having a temper tantrum, something must be very distressing to have a person acting this way. Lets try and figure out what’s wrong with Timmy and then we can fix it and come up with better ways of dealing with it instead of having a temper tantrum.

Timmy’s parents take ten minutes to discover Timmy’s major melt down was his sock felt funny in his shoe. Timmy’s parents teach Timmy to tell them these things in the future instead of getting upset first. Everyone goes home happy.

Meanwhile, Peter’s parents can’t handle Peter having emotions and needs that aren’t absolutely immediately obvious and since Peter is just a tot he can’t simply explain his predicament to his parents.

His parents have never learned how to communicate with anyone about their needs and emotions and so their own override their child’s. Let us strike Peter and he will learn that temper tantrums will not be tolerated. Peter shuts up but his problems are never solved.

But his parents go home happy.

Peter needs therapy in the future to unpack a Lifetime of Oppressed Emotions.

I hate to break it to parents sometimes, but unfortunately, your entire point is to make sure that child is the most functional adult it can be. How do you do that? By letting them act like children now, so they don’t act like children later.

bendingsignpost

My grandmother once told me why she was so anti-spanking, both as a parent and as a social worker:

The only times she could remember being spanked were times when she was absolutely certain she was being unfairly punished. The only lesson you can learn from that is not one parents mean to teach you. And as a very much older woman stubborning her way through life, she is to this day pissed.

genuinely on the floor over this

actually that fits w my theory that fanfiction is closer to literary analysis than it is to creative writing. like i feel like so much of fanfiction is more about “this is my interpretation of the text, and i’m teasing out the complexities of this interpretation by writing it in the format of a creative writing piece” than it is about an original piece of fiction

I have often commented that so much of my fanfic is either “here are all of my headcanons about this setting, in 30k (or 300k) fic format” or “I spent 10 hours of my life trying to get into the head of this character to make sense of their motivations, and y’all get to read the conclusions”

The tag “You gotta GET the original before you can translate it” is SUCH a Very Good Take

This actually fits with what I’ve understood of actors who read fan fiction about their characters. Nearly always it’s someone who wants more analysis of the character than they’re getting from the scripts, so they look to what fans are producing and find those deep dives there.

pocketsizedquasar

ID: a screenshot of tumblr tags that reads: “see my word splurge the other day about transmuting elements of canon to an AU. you gotta GET the original before you can translate it.”

full offense but none of you would have ever survived fanfiction.net in 2009

remember when writers had to be all like: “omg omg lemon starts HERE” y’all are lucky that ao3 has tags and filters you can set

domicileensnared

Sometimes shit was marked “lemon” and it’d just be them making out, and sometimes they’d just start pissing on each other

No rules, no laws, you took your life into your hands opening fics

A/N: this contains SLASH, that means TWO MEN, if that makes you uncomfy, DON’T READ!

A/N: please don’t sue me, o anime overlords, I’m not making any money off of this! I’m just a broke student! I don’t have any money!

A/N: I totally wrote this while high off 10 Red Bulls wheeeeeee!!!!!

A/N: COMMENT if you want me to continue the next chappy!!!

No, no, no

remember when there’d be interactions with the author and the characters?

InuYasha: I don’t get why I have to be here for this

A/N: Because it was in your contract!!1!1 *revs chainsaw*

god those were lawless times.

ff.net is the ancestral homeland

i m p o r t a n t u p d a t e

Holy shit, Dr. Tingle, go OFF!!!!

witharsenicsauce

That’s not all!

Bless Dr. Tingle!!!

queer as in fuck off @imjustmeat - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag