I was thinking "oh but I can't be autistic, I'm so good at eye contact and small talk! I know all the right ratios for looking/not looking and asking/answering questions! I even know the best posture to communicate low-stakes friendliness (about 15 degrees from facing them. weight on one leg. 70% eye contact. still hands.) everybody says I'm great!" before realizing I may be refuting my own point
A reminder that cis white man (and especially cis white boy) autism does not reflect the broader population, and never has. It is very much Its Own Thing and using it as a diagnostic basis has caused an enormous amount of suffering.
If you suspect you're autistic, there are tools you can use to help you figure it out. Self-diagnosis is a real thing in the community; don't let pants-shitting gatekeepers tell you otherwise.
NOTE ON TESTS: because many of the traits described are cis white man oriented, you'll need to think laterally about some of the answers. Arm-flapping may be something different for you personally, and things as simple as brushing your nails against your palms to outright nailbiting can count as a replacement form of more overt stimming.
