Ever, Never

Divinely Undivine She

[dismantletransmisogyny]

[melodies-stereo]

transmasc 'invisibility' is when theres no v-coding equivalent for trans men

[melodies-stereo]

transmasc 'invisibility' is when a tboy gets his feelings hurt because he doesn't get to have all the attention that comes with being stabbed to death while doing laundry

[recoveredcombatsister]

its fucked how much clarification you have to do as a transfem if youre writing a post criticizing tboys but want to stay on their good side. youve got girls bending backwards and doubling the length of their posts covering all their angles so that whiney men wont bruise their fragile egos reading it and throw a tantrum with the ultimate goal of socially murdering her. and these dipshits still dont think they have privilege for being men

[impurity-rabbit]

In the rare instance we hear of a transmasc being murdered or tortured, you'll notice the motive is never rooted in anti-trans hate, and sometimes even committed by other transmascs. That's still awful, but these stories aren't comparable to the rise in transmisogyny-based murders. Please stop bringing them up to speak over transfemmes, please.

[fox-faggot]

Read their names. Read the atrocities that were committed against them. Read the motives and consider the obvious purposes of these actions. Consider the rate at which transphobic violence remains erased and under-reported, especially in death. Remember that each and every entry is/was a human with the potential for a full and happy life, just like you and me.

Do this, and then look me in the eye and tell me again that we should sit down and shut up about the violence enacted against trans*masculine people, or that it's "never rooted in anti-trans hate". Bringing up this violence is not speaking over transfemmes, it's pointing out our oppression and the erasure of it. You not having heard of these and considering them insignificant is part of the issue, and exactly why that is needed.

This list is the laborious effort of one person (via @genderkoolaid, thank you), and I can assure you, it is very far from being anywhere near complete. There is one singular entry for my country – That is not the only incident in my entire country. This list is just a drop in the bucket.

The full list with links, I had to use screenshots since it's far too long for Tumblr's character limit. Obvious TW for just about every act of violence under the sun. (For block-listing purposes: murder / torture / mutilation / suicide / abuse / sexual assault / rape / graphic violence / long post).

Not putting it under a read more on principle. Take the act of scrolling as a moment of silence.

I'm sorry for anybody who might be distressed by this post but it is very important to be aware of these victims and the violence enacted against them. If you (general reader) want to avoid encountering this post in the future (it's alright, you acknowledged it once, I won't fault you for blocking it), add the randomly-chosen string #ZZRGT to your blocklist. On desktop you can also hit the "J" key to skip a post.

[impurity-rabbit]

I'll RB this, but you're missing the main point here: WHEN it's brought up. Either as a gotcha or to derail a conversation specifically mourning transfemmes. The transmisogynistic violence against us is increasingly recent. Weekly.

[uptownthots]

this isnt surprising in the slightest but cishet men, when talking about feminism, have this habit of assuming “women” means “cishet conventionally attractive [this means supermodel] white American woman who can live her life in luxury via capitalizing on her heterosexual conventionally attractiveness” and I’m realizing transandrobros are doing the exact same thing

[uptownthots]

“what if a man is queer AND disabled AND black AND poor?” and they like sincerely cannot conceive of women also being all of these things

[impurity-rabbit]

In the rare instance we hear of a transmasc being murdered or tortured, you'll notice the motive is never rooted in anti-trans hate, and sometimes even committed by other transmascs. That's still awful, but these stories aren't comparable to the rise in transmisogyny-based murders. Please stop bringing them up to speak over transfemmes, please.

[impurity-rabbit]

Advice: report the gofundme campaigns, ko-fi, paypals of TME grifters claiming to need help with "moving out of a transphobic state"

You are transmisogynistic self-victimizing cowards. My campaign was tarnished by transmisogynists. Why do you deserve help when this is how you treat us?

[impurity-rabbit]

There was also a detrans TME c/afab grifter doing a fund vaguely titled "help me get gender affirming care", possibly fooling non-followers into thinking they were transfemme. Do not tolerate it.

[impurity-rabbit]

Advice: report the gofundme campaigns, ko-fi, paypals of TME grifters claiming to need help with "moving out of a transphobic state"

You are transmisogynistic self-victimizing cowards. My campaign was tarnished by transmisogynists. Why do you deserve help when this is how you treat us?

[catgirl-kaiju]

hey, if your conversations about intersexism do not include intersex transfems and refuse to acknowledge that intersex people are usually coercively assigned a gender at birth that will inevitably shape their experiences in life in a meaningful way, then you are not only transmisogynistic, but are yourself being intersexist. get fucked.

also transandrophobia does not exist in any meaningful way and has no place in discussions about intersexism. but for some mysterious reason y'all seem to talk about transandrophobia in posts about intersexism A LOT while avoiding bringing transmisogyny into the conversation.

i felt excited when i realized i had an intersex condition and wasn't just a weird freak and really wanted to connect with other intersex people and the intersex community here on tumblr. but y'all have made this community unsafe for transfems and i fucking hate y'all for it. go explode

[jaimiofalltrades]

"I AM intersex, dipshit!" is not a phrase I should have to use. But I've had to more than once because I've had people conflate "talking about transmisogyny" with being intersexist, "transandrophobic," and/or exorsexist

Like. No. I think y'all's should consider that intersex trans women (who aren't "afab trans women" whatever that means) exist.

[impurity-rabbit]

Why do some intersex TMEs call themselves "afab transfems"? De-masculinizing your body as someone c/afab is not transitioning towards femininity, it's moving _within_ femininity. You're cis! Perisex cis women get ffs and hrt too, you're not special.

[void-that-thinks]

I am not intersex, but I will try to summarize as best I can, so sorry if it is kind of vague!

This is because saying that it is transitioning *within* femininity is not really that accurate.

Being assigned a certain gender at birth is not equal to being that gender, right? It is an event that happened to them as an infant and it just means that "male" or "female" was written on a birth certificate when you were born.

For a perisex, cis woman this would mean that she gets raised as a woman, hormonally develops like one during puberty, and has the geenitalia that our cispatriarchial, binary-forcing society describes as female: an uterus, ovaries, a vagina, a clitoris, you get it. Society will perceive and treat her like a woman.

For an intersex afab woman, though, this will not be the same. Her genitals may be surgically altered at birth, or not. She may be put on puberty blockers or given HRT - which cis children do not go through. She may not develop the same way during puberty: she may grow facial hair, her voice may drop, her breasts and hips may not grow... In which case the society will not perceive her like a woman. She may be perceived as a man, or as a freak - and treated in ways that are more like how the world treats trans women.

She will have to take the steps necessary to transition from her perceived non-woman state towards femininity, which cis perisex women of her age do not need to be bothered to do. Because that is the difference.

You say that cis women go through HRT and ffs too, but do they do it in the same way? I mean, cis women may get vaginoplasty if they have, say, labia minora that are too long, or they can get plastic surgery if they don't like their facial traits, or they need to dilate because they suffer from vaginismus, or they get breast augmentation... but they don't go through these in the same way that trans women do. Their experience is different. And intersex afab women's experiences tend to be closer to those of trans women than to cis ones.

So then, calling an afab intersex woman cis would be less accurate, because it does not reflect her experience!

Does this mean that trans women who are perisex have to call themselves amab?

Intersex women people use these labels because it helps specify the experience that they have gone through, when they talk about said experience. An intersex person assigned female will not go through the same things that one assigned male does, especially if they were correctively assigned that gender. They would go through a different type of surgical intervention as an infant, assigned different types of hormonal treatment, seen differently by society as the result of these things.

In short, they do not bring up the gender they were assigned - often in form of infant genital mutilation - because they have an emotional attachment to the event, or to tout it around as a proof of "more genuine femininity"; they bring it up because it is relevant.

If a trans woman prefers to detach from what she was assigned at birth, she does not have to bring it up! In fact, I have met women who are perisex and have had sex reassignment surgery and who take estrogen... but do not identify as transgender. They feel like that label is irrelevant to their current identity!

Labels can be personal like that, and I feel like it is important to allow everyone a certain freedom of gender identification and gender expression.

I hope this was helpful!

[impurity-rabbit]

You are a predator supporting predators.

[autogynophelia]

On the "AFAB transfem" thing, a while ago I used to have a lot of sympathy for their position because I hadn't quite thought about the subject deeply enough back then. And I think a lot of people still don't really understand why "AFAB transfems" are a problem, so I thought it might be worth going into a bit.

Superficially it seems totally analogous to trans womanhood itself. There is an identity ("woman"/"transfem") whose boundaries are policed on the basis of AGAB, and part of the project of queerness is to break those boundaries. "AFAB transfem" advocates can't understand why a trans woman who has had to fight against transphobic cis women saying "you can't be a woman if you weren't AFAB" would herself turn around and say "you can't be a transfem if you weren't AMAB". It seems totally hypocritical to them.

I think a lot of non-transfems mistakenly believe that transfems are able to exempt ourselves from misogyny by bringing up our AGAB. They imagine that, if some guy assumes I'm a cis woman and sexually harasses me, I can reveal my AGAB and he will say, "Oh, I am terribly sorry sir, I will treat you like a normal man from now on, because I am a transphobe who doesn't believe in gender identity but only the primacy of biol*gical sex," or whatever. They think the reason I don't say that is because I want to be treated like a woman and not like a man. But that is not what would happen: if I revealed my AGAB to this sexual harasser he would step up the sexual harassment, the level of misogyny I face would actually increase, and he would also be much more likely to get physically violent too, he would start to be transmisogynistic as well as regular misogynstic. I cannot exempt myself from misogyny at all, because misogyny is not something that misogynists dole out on the basis of AGAB, misogyny is not "AFAB oppression", it's a denigration of femaleness and femininity in a very broad sense. Even a cis man who wears "women's clothing" will face some amount of misogyny, and he will only be able to exempt himself from that by asserting that he was wearing those clothes insincerely, such as a comedy actor on stage, or a man at a stag/bachelor/bucks party. That is to say, your assigned sex is no defense when the criticism is of your sincere expression of womanhood, because misogyny is not about assigned sex.

Now imagine an alternate scenario where an "AFAB transfem" is presumed to be a trans woman by some guy who then starts chucking transmisogynistic abuse at her. She can reveal her AGAB and his abuse of her will actually reduce. His criticism will likely switch from calling her a T-slur, to saying she's an idiot for presenting in a manner that might be mistaken for a T-slur. Whatever clothes, make-up, hair, etc that made him read her as a T-slur immediately stop being disgusting to him when he discovers her AGAB. This is what it means to be able to exempt yourself from transmisogyny.

My very first post on this blog was a screenshot of a Reddit comment where a transmasc non-binary person said they discovered that the reason no one talked to them at first when they started a new school is because they were mistaken for a trans girl. The comment implied that this misapprehension was cleared up, and subsequently people spoke to them again. That is exemption in action. Unlike misogyny, transmisogyny is specifically about AGAB, because it is entirely about the direction of our transition being a supposedly disgusting and shameful one.

And that's the difference between "woman" and "transfem" as labels. People of any AGAB can be a woman, and will face misogyny even if their AGAB is known. Being known to be a trans woman grants you no privileges, no exemptions from that, on the contrary it only makes things worse. We could theoretically also allow people of any AGAB to call themselves "transfem", but if we did, we'd end up with a situation where "AFAB transfems" would be heavily privileged within the transfem community because of their ability to exempt themselves from the form of oppression that currently unites us. We would need to invent a new identity label for "transfems who cannot exempt themselves from transmisogyny", say "transfem²", but even if we did that we would quickly find a small but determined movement of "AFAB transfem²s". It is risky for a marginalised group to expand the definition of that group to include those who can exempt themselves from the oppression that unites that group. Oppressed groups deserve to have the language to refer to just themselves and not anyone else.

[impurity-rabbit]

I'll be blunt. Afab "transfems" and Co. are predators. I have no sympathy for them or their false claims of sharing struggles with me.

[weapon-of-mass-feminization]

if you don't think trans men have male privilege, you don't see them as men. It's as simple as that.

[impurity-rabbit]

Don't apologise for how you reacted to the never ending abuse.

[frightenedandfawn]

I think trans women should be included in everything, actually. EVERYTHING. There is no valid reason to exclude a whole group of women.

Talking about periods, for example? Don't leave trans women out. Trans women get periods, too.

Trans women are just as oppressed as cis women, if not more. Trans women have to face misogyny and then transphobia on top of that. Don't stop talking about this.

[wound-tree]

Whenever people bleat and whine about the “invisibility” of trans men, I think about Heated Rivalry. The biggest show of the year had a trans man, Harrison Browne, cast in a prominent role where he appeared in multiple episodes and had a good handful of lines. Following the show he had a bunch of articles written about his role and the importance of trans inclusion, including one on CNN.

Heated Rivalry also features a trans actress. In one scene, in one episode, the one where Rose is getting her makeup done on set. The actress’s name is Miss Niki Nikita, her character is not given a name. She is given one line, with only one word: “Same.” Trying to track down the name of this actress requires you to dig through the guts of Google search results, and still the main thing that comes up is a reddit post where someone credits her. (Googling “heated rivalry trans woman” still just returns results on Harrison Browne.)

When you say “trans men are invisible” do you just mean that online spaces are constantly trying to raise awareness for the violence trans women face? Because from where I’m standing, trans men get to experience the joy and the limelight while trans women get the violence and the vitriol. But sure, I guess they’re “too visible.”

[impurity-rabbit]

Why is every other tboys OC literally just an idealized repressed trans woman? "my cute super feminine gay baby uwu" please let her transition 💔

[impurity-rabbit]

Trans TMEs have a repressed trans women fetish and I'll keep pointing it out. Stop writing about transmisogynized bodies as if they're your femby transmasc afabfemboy "transition goals" please and thanks. You'll never be "amab" You'll never have my body.

[impurity-rabbit]

Why do some intersex TMEs call themselves "afab transfems"? De-masculinizing your body as someone c/afab is not transitioning towards femininity, it's moving _within_ femininity. You're cis! Perisex cis women get ffs and hrt too, you're not special.