probably under your chair

gil / glass | over 30 | they/them talk to me about me tag list aesthetic blog

[noodles-07]

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

[shubbabang]

its not funny but i do think about it a lot

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

This made me think about this panel from Calvin and Hobbes:

But unlike the adult in this strip, Calvin’s dad actually APOLOGIZED for yelling at him when he saw how guilty his kid was:

[filmnoirsbian]

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

[filmnoirsbian]

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

[filmnoirsbian]

I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

[this-is-a-name-dont-worry]

gshsjb

[toadbreath]

👀

[eddieintheocean]

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

[frogmoss1]

Knuckle tattoo that says %APP DATA

[bells-lettres]

local matchmaker losing it over yet another unrealistic demand from the clientele 🤣🤣

Translation by me. :))

[byebyebabbus-deactivated2013050]

[vickorano]

Always make sure to start Wandows Ngrmadly.

[vassraptor]

#ia ia windows fhtagn

[teapotsahoy]

I don’t think this boot looks promising.

[cranialgames-deactivated2015103]

Wandows

[failedmathtest]

Safe mode wath fetwgrkifg

[1234523524234252342342431-deact]

Problem$

[inaturalist-unofficial]

[lesbianmarrow]

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

[tunnaa-unnaa]

taking notes

[toastyglow]

the backrooms are simply not as scary conceptually if there is Something In Them

[toastyglow]

the whole reason why they're so unnerving is BECAUSE there's nothing in them!! because they're unrelentingly liminal and lonely and uncomforting. there shouldn't be a monster guy in there chasing you. you should glimpse other humans (?) from a distance but they walk away before you can close the gap and then they're gone. things should run away from YOU. do u get it

[toastyglow]

"and there was a MONSTERowooowwohhhh" the monster is isolation and banal beige sameness and uncanny valley architecture. you fool. you rube. you're putting a hat on a hat and the second hat is not only unnecessary but it ruins the first hat!!!!!!! "there's a monster in there" great so now it's just another place for a monster to be. ridiculous

[auroblaze]

Everybody always so bold when dunking from the other parallel dimension 😔

"Redraw tumblr post" time of the year again, based on this one specifically that i found weeks ago but I needed to do something with it hfgjdh (with the original post being on tiktok). I just love canon Blaze being absolutely ass at cooking💜

[sirfowlman]

The charmingly animated witch dance from the 1987 anime film Grimm’s Fairy Tale: The Golden Bird (グリム童話 金の鳥). Directed by the late great Toshio Hirata (平田敏夫).  A hidden cartoony gem from Madhouse & Toei Animation, loosely based on the tale of The Golden Bird that was made famous by The Brothers Grimm.

Special thanks to Animation Obsessive on Twitter for bringing this movie to my attention. Follow them for more rare, interesting & underappreciated animation tidbits from around the world.

Keep reading

[luckykittycolor]

[toskarin]

ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal

[leckboba]

a lil bulbasaur on a lil plant

[chillyfeetsteak]

a few doors down from me my neighbors have a squirrel bar nailed to the tree in front of the sidewalk, not exactly this but something like this:

it's been there for years and they never "stock" it so it's just sitting there. anyway, i thought it would be cute to make a little squirrel out of sculpey and leave it on one of the stools in the middle of the night. i also made a little sculpey beer bottle with its own label.

it lasted exactly one day and now it is gone. it didn't fall off, i stuck it on with tape. what do you think happened to it? your most fantastical and wrong answers only, please

[chillyfeetsteak]

HUGE NEWS HUGE UPDATE

squirrel REAPPEARED today... NOW PAINTED

[chillyfeetsteak]

i wanted to provide another update because there has been more activity at the nut bar

a few weeks ago i sculpted a new patron:

and put him in the bar. the next day he was gone. a couple weeks later he reappeared painted... but with ANOTHER new guest: a 3D printed squirrel based on the first one i sculpted (with a bottle!)

:)

[wordfather]

do you fuck with my unwritten story

[wordfather]

do you fuck with the weird guy i made