I Don't Need a Parachute Baby, I've Got You!

An incorrect Jason Todd quotes blog. We take submissions as well.

[incorrect-jasontodd]

Tim: Roy brings Jason flowers everyday. You should be more like him and follow his example.

*Next day*

Kon: *Gives Jason a bouquet of flowers*

Jason:

Kon: I'm not sure, you'll have to ask Tim.

[incorrect-jasontodd]

Jason: I may not have a lot to my name right now, but I do have one thing.

Dick: Self-respect?

Jason: No! Lots of badass mums.

[incorrect-jasontodd]

Jason, going to sleep: Good night, Bruce. I love you.

Bruce: I love you too, Jay.

[silence]

Jason: We love you too, Dick.

Dick, in the middle of the bed: Thanks, I was feeling a bit left out.

[incorrect-jasontodd]

Jason: I donated 4 liters of blood today. Never doing it again though. They ask way to many questions.

Jason: Who’s blood is this? Where did you get it from? Why is it in a bucket?

[incorrect-jasontodd]

Jason: When I said I wanted to be held, I didn't mean accountable.

[incorrect-jasontodd]

Dick: ♩Oh my God, look at that face~♩

Jason: IF YOU’RE FEELING SUICIDAL THEN YOU’VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE

[incorrect-jasontodd]

Red Hood *crossing paths with the batfam*: oh look it’s the bitch patrol

[incorrect-jasontodd]

Roy to Jason: You can't be dumb and smart at the same time. At least pick a struggle.

[incorrect-jasontodd]

Artemis: Well the knife missed your femoral artery

Jason: That’s good

Artemis: No....that’s the opposite of good, Jason.

Jason *sigh*: Yeah, I wish they wouldn’t have missed too but Bizarro said I had to be positive

Artemis: Jesus, Jay, I meant that it’s not good that you were stabbed.

Jason: Oh...um....don’t tell Biz?

[incorrect-jasontodd]

Cass : What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Babs: 'Prettiest Smile'

Dick: 'Nicest Personality'

Steph: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Jason: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

[incorrect-jasontodd]

Y/N: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Jason: You mean literally or figuratively?

Y/N: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

[incorrect-jasontodd]

*Dick's helping Damian out after they get injured, while the others are watching*

Tim: How does Damian look?

Jason: A lot better than you, actually.

[incorrect-jasontodd]

Tim: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Damian: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Tim: Yes!

Jason: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

[incorrect-jasontodd]

Jason: I'm hungry, do you have snacks?

Bruce: Jason we eat dinner less than an hour ago.

Jason: Well jeez B, if you wanted me to starve you should have just left me on the streets and saved both of us the time and trauma.

Bruce: 😶

[incorrect-jasontodd]

Jason: Wanna go out for ice cream?

Cass: I'm lactose intolerant.

Jason: Okay? Just tolerate the lactose.

Cass:

Jason: Sorry.

[incorrect-jasontodd]

Jason: Hey I found this cat on patrol last night. It's staying in my safehouse for now but do any of you want it?

Duke: You picked up a cat on patrol? Why?

Jason: It bit some goon so I decided to keep it.

Tim: Then why are you getting rid of it now?

Jason: About to move, don't wanna stress it out too much.

Dick: How old is it?

Jason: Old.

Damian: I'll take it.

[incorrect-jasontodd]

Roy: He's a 7 but he spent all your money on a new tool set because it looked super awesome.

Jason: 8