incorrect bundesliga quotes

a blog dedicated to things that have (definitely) been said on and off the pitch. (requests are always open)

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Alex: Do I look straight?

Nikki: Not in the slightest.

Alex: I meant my parking job.

Nikki: Oh, yeah, you’re good.

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Mats: Well, whats your ideal date?

Marco: Watching you get hit by a bus.

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Julian: I'm sending good vibes your way. They're coming. There's nothing you can do to stop them.

Kai: That’s the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

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Mats: Would you rather marry Manu or-

Thomas: Marry Manu.

Mats: Wait, you didn’t hear the second part-

Thomas: Your point?

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Mats: I just decided I don’t like you.

Marco: I just decided I don’t care.

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Jadon: Hey, Marco... why do you do this game? What’s it all for?

Marco: In a word?

Marco: Chaos

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Joshua: I think Leon is in trouble!

Serge: Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.

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Mats: I feel like I have died and gone to Heaven.

Marco: I have that dream too, but you go in the other direction.

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Marco: Mario and I don’t have pet names for each other.

Julian: Uh huh. Marco, what do bees make?

Marco: Honey

Mario, from the other room: Yes, baby?

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Mats: I never brag.

Thomas: You once called your face proof of God’s existence.

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Julian: Why were these hot chocolates in the oven, you could’ve burned the house down!

Kai: You asked for hot chocolate!

Julian: KAI, I SWEAR TO-

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Joshua: How dumb does Mats think we are?

Leon: Sometimes he leaves me pictures of food instead of a shopping list.

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Mats: *has a black eye*

Thomas: *walks over and sees Mats* holy crap! What happened to you?!

Mats: I was admiring myself in the bathroom mirror when some jackass snuck up behind me and hit the back of my head! I hit my eye right on the counter!

Thomas: Wait, how’d they sneak up on you in a mirror?

Mats: I was too distracted by my beautiful face...

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I wanted to make fun of stupid people while I get drunk. My two passions.

Manuel Neuer, probably.

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Jadon: Good morning.

Mario: Good morning.

Roman: Good morning.

Marcel: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Marco: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

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Mats: See? See, one day you’re gonna look back on this and laugh.

Marco: I assure you, for the rest of my life, every time I look back on this I will personally drive over to your house and smack you.

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Mats: Remember when I was being a bitch with you and you asked me why I was acting like that and I just screamed “CAUSE YOU’RE SO FUCKING ANNOYING?!”

Thomas: You need to be more specific, that happens all the time.