Incorrect Classic Book Quotes

Stuff that could have totally been said, but weren't. Cover photos aren't mine. Age: 28 She/Her

[incorrectclassicbookquotes]

Last night I made a list of all the books that are on my reading list. Under the cut are them.

Grimms’ Fairytales by The Brothers Grimm

Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift

Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson

Lady Chatterly’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Madame Bovary by Gustavo Flaubert

Middlemarch by George Eliot

Moby Dick by Herman Melville

Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen

Nostromo: A Tale of the Seaboard by Joseph Conrad

Notes From the Underground by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maugham

Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens

Paradise Lost by John Milton

Persuasion by Jane Austen

Pollyanna by Eleanor H. Porter

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen

Sons and Lovers by D.H. Lawrence

Swann’s Way by Marcel Proust

Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs

Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Tess of the d’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain

The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

The Hound of Baskervilles by Arthur Conan Doyle

The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

The Iliad by Homer

The Island of Doctor Moreau by H.G. Wells

The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling

The Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving

The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood by Howard Pyle

The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka

The Odyssey by Homer

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

The Portrait of a Lady by Henry James

The Prince by Nicolo Machiavelli

The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

The Tales of Mother Goose by Charles Perbault

The Thirty-Nine Steps by John Buchan

The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas

The Time Machine by H.G. Wells

The Trial by Franz Kafka

Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson

Ulysses by James Joyce

Utopia by Thomas Moore

Vanity Fair by William Thackeray

Within a Budding Grove by Marcelo Proust

Women in Love by D.H. Lawrence

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

If a book you want me to read is not included in this list feel free to recommend it. The only qualification is that it has to be a classic book. That means any classics not just books that are classics by American standards. This can include any classics from any countries as long as I can find a translated copy I will make it happen.

New rule: if the recommended book is based on a true crime story, even if it’s a classic I will not use it for the blog.

[incorrectclassicbookquotes]

I just read Briar Rose which is the closest thing to the Disney movie Sleeping Beauty. So in that there are twelve fairies and the thirteenth one isn't invited because they just didn't have enough golden plates for all thirteen. Briar Rose is cursed to die at fifteen not sixteen and the twelfth fairy makes it so that she only falls into a hundred years sleep instead. Also the thing about true love's kiss breaking the curse was never mentioned. The prince only did it because she looked so pretty and he couldn't resist. She would have woken up regardless of him kissing her. Disney probably saw the total lack of boundaries the prince had and realized that wouldn't look good in a movie marketed at children so they added the whole "True love's kiss will awaken her" so that Phillip could still kiss her but he had a legitimate reason to do so.

[ooo-silly-worms]

Pottery sounds terrifying to me. Every post I see is like "Here's this awesome art I made!! Pray for me that it survives The Kiln™ :')" I don't think I could cope with making art that could quite easily blow up and I have no way of controlling that. You guys are true heroes.

[incorrectclassicbookquotes]

Never even thought about that. I can’t do pottery because of the sensory issue I have with dry clay on my hands, but yeah also the fact that it could blow up is also scary

[kymeira]

[jinjeriffic]

Lets hear it for Malicious Compliance

[elkian]

*filming literal mold* “There is a bit of a damp problem…” The signs saying “DON’T BUY THIS” are a beautiful touch.

[silly-signs]

Official silly sign(s)

[incorrectclassicbookquotes]

The audacity of forcing someone out but first making them film a video for the apartment.

[amazing-aro-ace]

Anyone know how to slap people off the Internet? This statement has been pissing me off and it's on the first day of Pride Month too.

Anyways, asexuals are still queer by the way!

[incorrectclassicbookquotes]

I know on YouTube I’ve been so angry I reported people for misinformation when they say that Aromantic people are broken because they’ve been missing out on love and trying to say asexuals are broke because wanting to have sex is human nature. I don’t know if reporting does anything but it does erase their comment completely from me being able to see it which is what I want. Asexuality is queer and aromanticism is also queer. Both are also valid and doesn’t mean you are broken.

[princessgemma12]

If you like the word “queer” reblog.

[incorrectclassicbookquotes]

This feels like the start to a song that would go to the tune of “If you’re happy and you know it”

[freetobee1216]

If you like the word queer then reblog

👏👏

If you like the word queer then reblog

👏👏

If you like the word queer and it makes you wanna cheer

If you like the word queer then reblog

👏👏

[incorrectclassicbookquotes]

I love this so much

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 1 Part 26

Dangerous Crow Boy Who Eats Plastic

Count Von Count (Sesame Street)

Remaining time: 3 days 21 hours

[incorrectclassicbookquotes]

Didn’t know the Count had leveled up. Good for him

[incorrectclassicbookquotes]

Allow me to share one of the reasons that I stopped being friend with my best friend from childhood. There are a lot of reasons why but this one I had to share. So she works for Disney and the very last time we hung out she took me on the new Splash Mountain ride called Tiana's Bayou Adventure and it's designed after Princess and the Frog which is a movie I love. My friend was so annoyed that Disney took down Splash Mountain that she decided to say Princess and the Frog was racist towards white people because the only white people in it were rich. Now I had to do a double take for that mental gymnastics, but first no idea why that would be "racist" and second Lottie is a genuinely good friend to Tiana and just wanted Tiana to be happy. Also God forbid a movie have mainly non-white people apparently. Anyways one of the many reasons I chose to stop being friends. Some others are that she's still supportive of JK Rowling, she now acts like her horrible mother which is the reason I barely hung out at her house, and we don't really have anything in common anymore.

[incorrectclassicbookquotes]

So the fruit in the Bible that Adam and Eve ate is never said to be an apple and so I got curious and looked it up on several different sites and it all boils down "This is frequently explained as resulting from a misunderstanding of – or a pun on – two unrelated words mālum, a native Latin noun which means 'evil' (from the adjective malus), and mâlum, another Latin noun, borrowed from Greek μῆλον, which means 'apple'. In the Vulgate, Genesis 2:17 describes the tree as "de ligno autem scientiae boni et mali": "but of the tree [literally 'wood'] of knowledge of good and evil" (mali here is the genitive of malum)." I really want it to be because it's a pun because it would be so funny if the reason people think of apple today is because someone wanted to be really clever with word play.

[eebie]

I just ate one

[eebie]

You can lie when you name things

[incorrectclassicbookquotes]

I tried a red delicious once and was very confused as to why it was called delicious. That thing is not delicious

[ooo-silly-worms]

That thing looks like it was whatever Eve ate in the garden of Eden. But according to these reblogs, apparently it also tastes like the sin of rejecting your god.

[incorrectclassicbookquotes]

I never thought about it that way but that makes so much sense and I’m now adding that to my belief system as to why red delicious tastes the way it does

[just-aro]

sometimes it's so very draining that the majority of aro content is about fictional relationships.

irl, i live alone. irl, i am disabled. irl, that intersection and my lack of interest in partnering actively makes life really hard. everything is expensive. i can't always cook when i want to or have fresh ingredients, because my symptoms don't care if I want to cut up vegetables and eat something homemade before they go bad. if I have a bad flareup and getting up is not in the cards, that's it. i have what's next to me. the lack of social support for single folks, for disabled folks, for folks whose family care is inadequate or damaging... it's impactful.

I talk about how i once visited a place with an ex partner. i mention how our relationship started because i was pressured into it, and i wasn't really into the level of seriousness and 'forever' she treated it with. everyone says it's weird that i agreed if i didn't want it to be serious. i remember being 16, saying no, and a chorus of people telling me i was stupid and immature, that her family was rich, that we would be cute and to listen to them, not my heart. my heart was saying nothing.

i look at my current age and life goals. for many of my peers, dating and marriage and eventual kids are common goals. i am watching my rights erode and trying to practice good mental hygeine. my five year goal is to be alive. my next major life milestone is a nebulous desire to find a life i can tolerate living.

being aromantic significantly impacts my day to day. i want to see aro people living their lives, and doing so with joy. i want to see aro adults making it, ones like me. i want aro people to thrive. i want to live, aromantically.

i scroll the aro tag. it's fandom and shipping and asexual posts.

[incorrectclassicbookquotes]

I had a big win the other day. So my parents know I want to go into parenting along and have no interest in getting married. My mom said “But doing it with a partner is easier” and I said “Easier doesn’t mean happier.” Since then she hasn’t brought up me getting married at all and I count it as a win.

[princessgemma12]

If you like the word “queer” reblog.

[incorrectclassicbookquotes]

This feels like the start to a song that would go to the tune of “If you’re happy and you know it”

[eebie]

I just ate one

[eebie]

You can lie when you name things

[incorrectclassicbookquotes]

I tried a red delicious once and was very confused as to why it was called delicious. That thing is not delicious

[reckless-glitch]

[ramblingandpie]

[Video description: Gritty is turning the crank on a flagpole to raise the Progress Pride Flag. He gesticulates angrily that the flag is not blowing in the wind, then gestures offscreen. The flag begins blowing. As Gritty begins raising the flag more, the camera pans out to show a man in a suit and sunglasses, looking like a stern Secret Service agent, is holding a leafblower that points at the flag. End description.]

[slothful-rabbit]

I laughed so fucking hard at this

[paint-lady]

[creature-lala]

To this day, when i notice i slept all messed up i remember and think "i was just laying down all seductively"

Please give a list of other "seductive" things Edward claims Jonathan does!

Other than lying down, Edward thinks the following are also very seductive Jon behaviors:

Idk I think he’s like in love with him or something.

[apricops]

I think I’ve been reading too much about early modern Europe because I just heard someone go “of course Christians don’t think the communion wafer is actually the body of Christ, it’s a metaphor” and I said out loud “girl no they started wars about this.”

Which is kind of a pedantic thing to say! because absolutely that’s a benign and perfectly reasonable statement in the year 2026 but for a second I felt like there was an absolutely gobsmacked 17th century Austrian priest watching over my shoulder

[incorrectclassicbookquotes]

There was actually a story I learned in school, I went to a private Catholic school, that a priest called the body of Christ a metaphor and apparently one day it changed into actual flesh and the wine into actual blood to prove that it actually was the body and blood of Christ to him. This story haunts me to this day