Misplaced Lens Cap
oozey mess
RMH
blake kathryn
JVL
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titsay
Janaina Medeiros
Origami Around
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art blog(derogatory)
Product Placement
Cosimo Galluzzi
PR's Tumblrdome
d e v o n
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Andulka
taylor price
ellievsbear
seen from United States
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seen from Germany
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
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@incorrectdccomicquotes
Batgirl: You know, I’m just so glad that I could just talk to you about anything. You’re like one of my best guy friends.
Robin: *inaudible*
Batgirl: What do you mean you have something you need to tell me.
*Grindr notification goes off on Robin’s phone*
Batgirl: Oh, what was - Oh. Ohhh! Okay! You can tell me anything!
Green Arrow: Hey, can I get a sip of that water?
Batman, lowering his suspiciously unlabelled water bottle: It’s not water.
Green Arrow: Vodka! I like your style!
Batman: It’s vinegar.
Green Arrow: …What?
Batman: It’s vinegar… Pussy.
Bruce Wayne, mumbling: Alfred can you help me get this stain off my shirt?
Alfred Pennyworth: Come again?
Bruce Wayne: No this time it’s sour cream
Alfred Pennyworth, stopping in his tracks: 🤨
Bruce Wayne, also stopping in his tracks when he realizes: 😳
First post! Based off of a tweet I remember seeing but can’t find for the life of me
Made a DC Twitter themed blog! I know there are tons of them out there but this one’s mine :)
Fake text messages from Alfred’s most evil joke ever
Original meme under cut:
Robin in the Wayne Enterprises board room: I’m glad you could all make it. We need to discuss finances today.
Kid Flash: …It’s just me?
Robin: I know. You owe me twenty bucks.
Commissioner Gordon: Oh isn’t it sweet how our kids are playing together?
Batman: Yeah, it’s adorable, they’re probably playing house together or something.
Commissioner Gordon: Oh yeah, probably!
Batgirl, holding a Kermit the Frog puppet and imitating his voice: Your father and I have called this family meeting to tell you… You tell him.
Robin, holding an Elmo puppet and imitating his voice: Elmo’s getting a divorce!
Robin, holding a Batman action figure and imitating his voice: What? No!
Batgirl, as Kermit: I’m sorry, honey, but we’ve already decided. You must choose,
Robin, as the Batman figure: Choose what?
Batgirl, as Kermit: Who to live with full time or who to visit on the weekends.
Robin, as the Batman figure: But what about Christmas?
Robin, as Elmo: See? Look what you’re doing to this family!
Batgirl, as Kermit: Well I wasn’t the one to sleep with Stacy from HR! And after our son Mario disappeared
Robin, as Elmo: Elmo made a mistake!
Batgirl, as Kermit: This marriage was a mistake!
Robin, bringing out a Mario action figure: Mama! Papa! It’s-a-me, Mario!
Riddler, aiming a gun at Robin: Don’t move or I’ll shoot!
Robin: Bet you twenty bucks I’ll survive.
Riddler: You’re gonna survive me shooting you in the head?
Robin: Every time I bet I’d survive something, I’ve won.
Riddler: Bullshit.
Robin: Motherfucker, I’m here.
Riddler: I mean I suppose but the situation has never been as dangerous as this.
Robin: Do you wanna make the bet or not?
Riddler: Hey, if I win the bet, who’s gonna give me the money?
Robin: Oh don’t worry, I’ll live.
Riddler: Alright, alri - no, cause then if you live, then I owe you money!
Robin: Exactly. If you shoot me, you have a chance of getting zero dollars or losing twenty dollars. But if you don’t shoot me, then you’re guaranteed not to lose any money.
Riddler: Well, I’ll do the second option, then. That’s the only one that really makes sense.
Robin: Yeah, that’s what I’m sayin’!
Roy Harper: Is your dick big enough for you to be acting the way you do?
Jason Todd: Yes.
Roy Harper: Show me.
Jason Todd: Check your phone.
Roy Harper: …He can keep acting the way he does.
Dick Grayson: Any of you guys know how to render?
Damian Wayne: I can render my enemies immobile.
Dick Grayson: I meant 3D computer renders but I’ll keep you in mind for future reference.
Dick Grayson: I hope I don’t wake up.
Damian Wayne: Same.
Dick Grayson: See you in the next life, then.
Damian Wayne: Oh no, I meant I hope you don’t wake up. I’m doing fine.
Flash: You’re a dreidel.
Green Lantern: No, that’s a Jewish top. I’m -
Green Lantern: Well -
Sequel to this post that I made up:
Batman, who happened to overhear the conversation: No the fuck you’re not.
Green Lantern: I’m literally Jewish. I know you researched everyone’s identities when the League started. You have to have known that I was Jewish.
Batman: Not that. There’s no way you’re a fucking top.
Wonder Woman, the only constant voice of reason in the entire Justice League: Please, I’m begging you, go to a doctor.
Batman, clutching his stomach: I’m sorry, is this our stab wound? Stay out of it!
*Batman turns around and takes a few steps, then abruptly passes out and falls to the floor*
*Batman and Commissioner Gordon outside the interrogation room at GCPD. Gordon is pacing, thinking about how to get information out of an uncooperative suspect*
Batman: Just smack him. Hard. With a phone book on a body part no one can see, you know what I’m saying?
Commissioner Gordon: So you’re suggesting police brutality?
Batman: …Haha, yeah, I guess so. Why?
Flash: You’re a dreidel.
Green Lantern: No, that’s a Jewish top. I’m -
Green Lantern: Well -
GCPD Officer: You’re under arrest for attempting to carry three people on a single motorcycle.
Jason Todd: Damn, Bruce is gonna kill - wait, three?
GCPD Officer: Yes, three.
Dick Grayson: Oh my god.
Tim Drake: Damian fucking fell off.
Tim Drake: You’re not special for reading The Great Gatsby, we all went to high school.
Jason Todd: Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone, just remember that all the people in the world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.
Tim Drake: Okie dokie, let’s town it down here, I was just making a joke.
Jason Todd: So was I. That’s one of the first lines of the book.
Tim Drake: What.
Tim Drake: I never read the book.
