#jim gordon

[nyukaart]

[thebat-musicman]

Commissioner Gordon: So you were with your brother at the time of the murders? What were you doing?

Tim: We were…buying.. alpacas

Commissioner Gordon: You were buying alpacas?

Tim: For our alpaca farm

Commissioner Gordon: You have an alpaca farm?

Tim: Well not yet, that’s why we were buying them

Commissioner Gordon: You know what? I have 5 other suspects to interview. Good luck with your…alpaca farm, Tim

Tim: Thanks Commissioner

*Gordon leaves*

Jason, walking out of the closet, holding the leash of an alpaca: Are we good?

Tim: Yep!

Jason: Good. I killed a lot of people for these alpacas

[robs-your-robins]

Bruce being completely oblivious to when the kids start dating and just not getting it because he himself wasn't remotely interesting in dating until he's in his 20s or so and just assumes the kids are the same.

Bruce who wonders why Jim Gordon pulls him aside at a gala and tells Bruce that under no certain terms is Barbara having a sleepover with Dick and Bruce is like, 'they're friends?' and 'are you doubting I'm a good parent?' and just not getting it until Jim underlines his very pressing desire to not be a grandfather.

Clark who walks in on Tim and Kon fooling around and immediately hurries to tell Bruce that they're probably dating and they should let the kids know that they're totally OK with it, only for Bruce to be like, 'nah'. Alfred then has to break it to both of them that Tim and Kon have been dating for like a year.

And it happens over and over again and Bruce just can't comprehend that his kids are ready to date or are even thinking about dating. Bruce who has to have the news broken to him gently as possible and explained in the most basic terms because he can't compute these facts.

[minnow-doodle-doo]

Gordon did Bruce a solid 10 years ago, and now he and his flock leave him gifts (criminals) like stray cats. And they like to hang out on his roof; he just wants to be alone and smoke somewhere.

[angicoforest]

No anatomy just darkness

[bats-and-gordo-bestie-propaganda]

[krmillia]

Bruce, giving teen!Jason the shittiest car driving lesson ever: And remember, if you still hadn't figured out how to park, and a police officer tries to fine you for that, just tell your name backwards. The CGPD has too much job to actually search for you afterwards. They will just have a pile on your name in their department. And I didn't tell you that, but their system hadn't been updated well for ages. So, they won't be able to tell for sure if you are lying about your name or not. 16!Jason, nodding: Sounds cool. Bruce: ...It is not cool, but Alfred said it works, so we listen to Alfred.

(Years later, pre-reveal)

Batman, standing on the rooftop: So, Jim... anything new? Jim Gordon: Yeah, you know, nothing, actually. Except for an asshole, whose parking fines are filling my whole fucking cabinet. He keeps putting his bike anywhere he wants, especially next to our building - an audacity! - and then, disappears after receiving a fine. I can't find him anywhere. Batman, chuckling: That's smart. Jim Gordon: Yeah, fuck him. Tason Jodd, my ass. Who fucking names their kid like that? Batman, with his smile disappearing: ...What. Jim Gordon: What? Batman: ...Jim. I need you to call me the next time this guy appears. Jim Gordon, concerned: Hey, this is just a teenager. It is fine, no need to break his spine or something- Batman: Use Bat-signal next time you see him. I am serious. Jim Gordon: ...What the hell. Sure?

[getanshi]

batman #153

top tier silver age brucie face here. not a single thought between those ears