hogwarts as a slytherin ✧₊⁺🕯⋆.˚୨ৎ
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Mike Driver
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@incubiboi
hogwarts as a slytherin ✧₊⁺🕯⋆.˚୨ৎ
If you're in the US military or National Guard, and are given an illegal or unconstitutional order, the GI Rights hotline (1-877-447-4487) is there to help give you the support you need to do the right thing by refusing it. It would be good to think about this now before it becomes a live issue for you and it would be smart of you to memorize that number.
You can reblog this without your thoughts about the US Military, btw, that's allowed.
In fact: you SHOULD share it without your thoughts on the US Military. If someone in the military sees this number and is considering it, they already know. Just let them see the resource.
(no beers in) do you guys think i'm redeemable
"can you take care of this" i already did. an hour ago. i'm the fastest secretary in the west. i am the swiftest gazelle sprinting on the field of schedules and phone calls and emails. secretariat? the triple crown record holder? that was me too. seabiscuit get fucked. turning you to glue. i redid your dumbass filing system while i was at it. fuck with me
possession horror where the thing possessing the autistic character causes them to behave in a more neurotypical way. autistic possession horror where the thing inside you is easier to communicate with than you are, the thing inside you doesn’t have a flat affect, the thing inside you doesn’t let your body stim, the thing inside you is how you were told to behave and you can only do it when you are no longer you. autistic possession horror where you will never forget that everyone liked it better than you before they found out something was controlling you. autistic possession horror where they know what’s inside you isn’t you and debate whether it would be easier for everyone to leave you like this anyway. you agree. reblog.
“That’s why it’s hard to make friends when you’re older,” she said. “Friendship is rude.”
Her friend’s eyes widened. “What?”
“Think about it! When we’re kids we decide who we like and stick by them no matter what. As adults, we’re taught to be polite.
But, friendship is an imposition— at least, I want it to be. Call me after nine o’clock. Don’t think you’ll ever wear out your welcome. Overshare, show up at my door, go to the grocery store with me so we can waste another hour chatting.
We’ll never be friends if we spend all of our energy trying not to bother each other.”
“That’s why it’s hard to
make friends when you’re older,” she
said. “Friendship is rude.”
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
🌀 Hey piggy 🌀
🌀 Take a second to relax yourself, go on.
🌀 Sit back, get comfy.
🌀 I just want you to read along for a moment.
🌀 Don’t worry about anything else, just you and me.
🌀There’s something I want you to do.
🌀 Focus on breathing, deep breaths in and out, relax yourself.
🌀 Good work so far piggy, keep breathing.
🌀 Don’t overthink it, just let your mind slow down.
🌀 Focus on my words, nothing else matters in this moment.
🌀 Feels better this way doesn’t it?
🌀 There’s something else I want you to do.
🌀 I want you to surrender to gluttony.
🌀 Keep breathing piggy, nice and slow.
🌀 Just a simple request, I want you to eat for me.
🌀 I want your mind to light up in arousal when you think about eating.
🌀 I want your mind go blank like this as you gorge on everything unhealthy you can manage, filling up on savory meals, and everything between.
🌀 Keep breathing piggy, you’re doing great so far.
🌀 I want you to pay attention and use less words, be a good piggy for me won’t you?
🌀 Let yourself remember only what’s important, that you must become hopelessly obese. When I type in purple and pink, you’ll remember this feeling.
🌀 No control. Yet, blissfully unaware, and most importantly, your hunger will be maddening.
🌀 But most of all, you’ll eat whenever I say
🌀 EAT
🌀 Nod your head for me, so I know you understand.
🌀 Now that’s a good piggy~
🌀 I want you to remember this feeling of comfort and relaxation. I want you to feel this as your belly growls and demands more.
🌀 You’ve done wonderfully, I think you’re free to go. You’ll start to be more aware and realize where you are, and feeling oh so very hungry.
🌀 Good piggy..
🌀 Now don’t forget
🌀 EAT
🌀💿🌀💿🌀💿🌀
First try at something hypnosis related hope you enjoy~
Attention!!
if you're fattening up this is your sign to start drinking copious amounts of heavy cream / fattening liquids alongside water. do this at any meal, snack, or even just when you're not doing anything else. maybe if you do it often enough, the habit will stick. you know it's good advice when the status quo is "don't drink your calories." bonus points if you dribble creamer down your tits like a fat fuck
you have to do this now, sorry, I don't make the rules ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Dave Brandt was so much more than a meme. He partnered with universities to experiment with and expand soil conservation and cover crop techniques, worked to educate other farmers through worldwide conventions and direct mentorship, founded the Soil Health Academy, and was called the "Obi-Wan Kenobi of soil health" by the chief of the USDA's conservation department.
There is no healthy planet without healthy ag practices, and this guy was a legend.
The A-horizon on his farm was 4 feet deep
You do not understand
Most modern Ag operations don’t even have a proper A-Horizon. They’re too busy turning the earth every time they replant. The A-horizon is the Black Gold that makes Soil Soil. It’s a structurally complex soil horizon that must be built in place by the interactions of Plants and Fungi and Insects. It is The Thing that soaks up rain and holds onto it for plants. The A-Horizon is The Thing that builds up when you let a field sit fallow. The act of tilling creates fecundity by breaking up the A-horizon. On a really good Organic no-till farm you might find an A-horizon between 3-6 inches.
His A-horizon was 4 feet deep. 50 inches.
I-
I have no context. His farm was covered in a living skin thick enough for a child to stand in.
Gives me hope for what we could accomplish if we got our collective heads on straight, you know? Like. This was one guy. A brilliant man, who knew what he was up to, but. The thing about brilliant ideas is they can be shared.
50 inches. The mind reels.
This is so much more impressive than I can understand and comprehend and I would love to know more about A horizon
Do you love the color of the Soil?
Humus, or Humic Compounds, are a cryptic and poorly understood set of organic substances. As the final metabolic result of once-living things being digested first by macroscopic organisms, and then by microorganisms, they resist most forms of analysis, and have cryptic structures. A few that we have managed to isolate and study are the Humic & Fulvic Acids.
Humus has a number of remarkable tendencies. It is capable of retaining water far better than any raw mineral clay; it also retains electrically charged clay granules, which themselves retain mineral ions, all of which is essential to make a soil a high-quality resource for Plants to grow in.
A composter is a box that contains an environment that is conducive to the production of Humus, but the best way to produce it is in-place, by laying layers of organic material down over an unbroken earth and growing things out of that. The interaction of the plants rooting, the fungus weaving itself through everything, the bacteria and archaea metabolizing as they do, and inorganic weathering forces all combine to gradually build up the microscopic equivalent of a complex megastructure capable of retaining far more water, and containing far more nutrients, than any inorganic substrate.
This stuff is black gold. This is the stuff that determines whether or not a plot of land is going to be “productive.” The knowledge of how to make it, how to care for it, is an essential piece of wisdom that our civilization needs to remember.
Fortunately, folks seem to have the right response:
Farmers are more important to the continuity of civilization than administrators, no matter what the elitists say. This knowledge is important.
Exactly
grab your nonbinary unspecified body part and do something vague to it
These ain't staying in the tags
This pokemon’s cells spark with lighting when startled or angered. Behind its static walls, it actually hides a rather sensitive heart.
(couldn’t decide which background color so you guys get both) (8/27 edited caption)
persimmon season
Had my suspicions but I have finally confirmed it this morning: The rival Pokémon Go team I have been beefing with, whose gym's total annihilation I have incorporated into my morning routine, is actually a group of local elementary school students
I always wondered why the Pokémon at this gym were so weak but today I left the house before the local students get picked up by the schoolbus and I saw a group of kids congregating around the gym pokestop and I was like "Oh no"
Congrats on being promoted to pokemon villain
I wouldn't say I'm a lapsed cultist. I still accept the basic worldview--I believe that Cthulhu lies in R'lyeh in a deathlike sleep, I believe his Star-spawn shall one day cleanse the earth and usher in an age of shouting and killing and reveling in joy, yada yada--but I'm not, y'know, religious about it. Cthulhu has lied sleeping for, like, countless aeons, he's probably not waking up in my lifetime. I doubt giving up my Friday nights to chant "Cthulhu fhtagn" with a bunch of naked old guys in a basement is gonna wake him up any faster. I mean, if I ever have kids, I'll probably start going again, but that's more about teaching good morals.
I want Christians to understand that this is what you sound like to me.
This is because I, a Christian, wrote it to make fun of Christians.
they're trying to make you hate sex and porn and hate being fat again therefore it is imperative that all fatties fuck nasty in the streets 2day