[rcktpwr]

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

[ceeberoni]

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[yesiscandyskiller]

Can't stop thinking that if Jax transitioned inside the circus, she'd be Regina George 2.0 🩵🤍🩷

🟢 Commissions Open!!

[horce-divorce]

"I would never jeopardize the beans" pales in comparison to it's newest successor, "beans r not woke. How could u do this?"

[mortimer]

ibuprofen please save me from the dragon

[theehorsepusssy]

[teathattast]

[pantsu-ripper-deactivated202208]

[tpwrtrmnky]

The idea of Mario and Peach having any kind of relationship beyond the occasional kiss on the nose and "mama mia" is like viscerally incomprehensible to me

Not like in a prude way I just can't conceive of Mario experiencing... urges. He's a character outside the scope of that. I'm not saying he's asexual either cause positioning him on the allo/ace spectrum implies that it's a dimension of his character that at least exists, that he has at some point noticed it. I think he just jumps.

[tpwrtrmnky]

Luigi probably fucks though.

[tpwrtrmnky]

#op interrogate yourself about why you think this right fucking now

So unlike Mario, who continues to be essentially a void with no internality, I actually act with thoughts and intent and already did do that when writing this post.

Mario is a mascot of one of the most sanitized corporate brands in existence. He differs from real, full-fledged ace people in that his sexlessness is not queer, not transgressive in any sense of the word, just a void left by his position as a player character. He has no queer identity because he has no identity beyond the fact that it's-a-him, Mario.

[antigyro]

Ok but why is Luigi different

[tpwrtrmnky]

displays internality by being capable of fear. to fear is to have something to lose. and what does he stand to lose? fucking.

[jarmes]

Similarly, I don’t know if Peach could comprehend the concept of sex. There is no light beyond that blank stare. She doesn’t not understand anything besides baking and being a princess

Daisy fucks nasty

[tpwrtrmnky]

Peach lives a life that is almost entirely defined by her position as an object of other people's desire, wherein she is robbed of autonomy by Bowser and expected to reward Mario with signs of affection. I think if anyone in Mario has complex thoughts about sexuality to work through with a therapist, it's Peach.

[demilypyro]

What I'm hearing is Daisy needs to take Peach to a strip club

[tpwrtrmnky]

It's crucial to help her escape from comphet

[uredrunk]

[aninals]

just hallucinated only the bottom right panel and started giggling and decided i wanted to find the real thing to laugh about it again. and i couodnt so i had to go into my boyfriends dms and ask them if "do you have truckparts"

[grimoiremanifest]

gonna be so real i did not realize the bottom was about purchasing and shipping automobile parts. I thought they were straight up intending to kill and dismantle the UPS truck like some auto mechanic apex predator.

[eschocat]

Pee changing color depending on ur hydration is very intuitive game desigm

[transfemininomenon]

good god when the onions and garlic hit the olive oil..........

[bumblebeesnees]

Panties hit the FLOOR

[transfemininomenon]

you know it sister

[casgirl]

Smoking the shit that made you ship Larry.

[zangoonse]

a party of adventurers that are all equally convinced that they are in completely different forms of media

[zangoonse]

the mage keeps giving smug glances in the direction they assume a camera is in. the fighter keeps getting indignant about missing attacks because of "bad dice rolls." the rogue is doubtful that a villain is gone for good because "nobody ever stays dead in comics." the paladin attributes fortune to "good rng." none of them have even considered that "tumblr post" was an option

[what-even-is-thiss]

I think even when you make a cartoonishly evil villain they need some form of semi-understandable motivation. Even if it’s as simplistic as wanting to make money. Like Mr. Krabs.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Mr. Krabs is cartoonishly evil and what accomplishes this? Creepy obsession with money. It’s really that simple.

You’ve gotta ask yourself. Why does Mr. Evil want to blow up the moon? Well to impress his mother of course. There you go. Doesn’t need to be justified. Just needs to be explained.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Perhaps it’s not wrong to make evil scientist that wants to destroy the earth with his big laser but why does he want to destroy the earth with his big laser? What’s his motivation? Is it related to grape soda or not? These are questions that need answers even if they are stupid answers.

[rimdora]

girls keep trying to crack me open so they can feast on my delectable doll ichor

[evilvillain123456789]

I fail to see how the Monsters of Inc. were persuaded to care about the welfare of children who to them were no more than an anonymous, alien resource necessary for the convenience of their lives. They weren't even the same species of them. Yet they overhauled their whole energy economy to be more humane toward this hated other, which had no legal rights in their society, and which most of them had never even seen. It really makes no sense, if anything it's sort of a perversion, like if you actually lived with that level of concern and empathy you wouldn't be able to function at all. You would be, just, fucking debilitated. Just psychologically crushed. Idk it's just not that plausible to me. And Randall, the lizard. He isn't that fuckable either.