John Brosio (American, 1967) - Two Earthlings (2003)
#oh so this is one of those paintings where itâs actually the title that knocks you into next tuesday huh (via astriiformes)
Claire Keane
we're not kids anymore.
ojovivo
Jules of Nature
No title available
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
taylor price
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸

Origami Around
hello vonnie
Misplaced Lens Cap
sheepfilms

romaâ

â
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One Nice Bug Per Day

Kaledo Art

oozey mess

pixel skylines

ellievsbear

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@infinitelyordinary33
John Brosio (American, 1967) - Two Earthlings (2003)
#oh so this is one of those paintings where itâs actually the title that knocks you into next tuesday huh (via astriiformes)
bitches be like âthis is my comfort showâ and itâs a show about a bunch of gay kids with daddy issues running around killing monsters from a different dimension.
its me, i am bitches
happy Thursday the 20th
Iâd have to wait months or even years for another chance to reblog this, so why the fuck not?
next days you can reblog this on a Thursday the 20th
August 2015
October 2016
April 2017
July 2017
September 2018
December 2018
June 2019
February 2020
August 2020
You know, just in case you wanted to set your queue for the next 6 years
TODAY
Since itâs now August 20, 2020⌠The next days you can reblog this on a Thursday the 20th:
May 2021
January 2022
October 2022
April 2023
July 2023
June 2024
February 2025
March 2025
November 2025
August 2026
If you wanted to set your queue for the next six years.
"Do you enjoy doing math?"
"I do not."
"How about live improv?"
"Not at all."
"Okay... but what if there are dragons?"
"...keep talking."
Here is a free pdf of the players handbook
Here is a free pdf of xanathars guide to everything
Here is a free pdf to monsters manual
Here is a free pdf to tashas cauldron of everything
Here is a free pdf to dungeon masterâs guide
Here is a free pdf to voloâs guide to monsters
Here is a free pdf of mordenkainenâs tomb of foes
For all your dnd purposes
with the DnD Spelljammer setting finally releasing it's 5e conversation this month, I've decided to spruce up and share a page that's been invaluable to me over the years: a set of tables for DMs to help create solar systems and planets.
Spelljammer is coming out soon, do you have any adventure ideas for Spelljammer? Or at least some open sea adventures you have that we could reflavor appropriately ?
Drafting the Adventure: Spelljamming
Itâs been a while since I penned my initial thoughts on sailing the astral sea, and since that time, a few things have changed:
WoTC revived the setting with kickass art and not much else, disappointing just about the entire fandom and yet again requiring us the players to do the design work for them.
I binged all of @dimension20officialâs âA Starstruck Odysseyâ, which not only got me really hype to run a space game but showed me a mechanical basis on which it could function ( seriously friends, go watch Starstruck)
 My Friend group decided to rewatch Treasure Planet, one of the formative pillars of my love of fantasy, and it got me thinking about how amazing the concept of space-pirate-fantasy is. I am and always will be a slut for cosmic wonder and thereâs just something about the combination of these concepts that makes my brain come alive.
And so, Iâve decided to take a crack at overhauling Spelljammer, partially to bring it in line with my own version of the d&d cosmos and partially because as a game designer I canât help but stare at all the negative space WotC gave us and imagine various possibilities. Mineâs not going to be a be all end all, and just like every homebrew fix I encourage you to look at different options until you find one that feels right to you and your table.
Now, below the cut Iâm going to go into things about the spelljammer setting and specific mechanics I think will be useful, but before I do Iâm going to give you folks a little preview of my opinions by going off on a meaningless tangent:
WHY THE HELL ARE SPELLJAMMING HELMS CHAIRS? No really, think about it. Apart from the fact that âHelmâ specifically refers to the wheel and steering apparatus of a ship, the fantasy that spelljammer is supposed to be pulling from is nautical adventure; steely eyed captains masterfully piloting their vessels along the edge of a storm, the ship and their body pulling as one against the elements. The decision to make the helms chairs that channel magic rather than a wheel that requires sill turns the act of cruising through the cosmos into a mostly passive act, which I suppose mirrors the design decision to not actually require any input on the part of the jammerâs crew in order to sail it. Itâs not even that the designers were trying to emulate other popular sci-fi properties like starwars/trek, because despite the fact that people sit down while piloting in those settings, ships have an entire crew manning different stations and doing things. Itâs almost like in trying to simplify a complicated game system, WotC decided that it would be better to remove ANY chance at interesting gameplay rather than put out a rules system that wouldnât please everyone.
I took a DND personality quiz and it fuckin nailed it
seems about right im a fuckin Noodle
cinderella: redo
so i was watching cinderella while doing my nails and waiting for them to dry which was clearly a Mistake because now i canât help but think -
the evil stepmother was always evil, okay. say her abuse of her own daughters was different than that of cinderellaâs - but it was still abuse. giving them impossible expectations, telling them they were never good enough, never pretty enough, never smart enough. and then she gets married, and anastasia and drizella are ecstatic because this man seems kind and warm and maybe just maybe he can temper their mother, maybe with him around she wonât be so cruel. so theyâre on their very best behavior in the beginning, they do just as their mother taught - they trot out their best upper court manners in an attempt to get their new stepfather to like them. but it just comes off as cold and snooty and theyâre trying, they are, theyâre just bad at it. and they see how he is with cinderella, the smiling girl their own age, and they are jealous. they donât mean to be, they try not to be, they know it isnât becoming of young ladies. but she gets hugs and kisses and affection and they get rulers slapped on their hands when they reach for desert and sharp jabs to their sides when they slouch and - soon they hate cinderella, not for anything sheâs done, but for what she has and they dont
but then her father dies. and itâs all a tumble of things and cinderella is crying and theyâve lost their only chance at escaping their motherâs clutches and itâs terrible. and everything settles and thereâs no reason to be jealous anymore but resentment is hard to let go of and they donât know what to do. theyâre only kids too after all. and theyâre so terribly bad at comforting people, they can do flowery words and know all the right bows but cinderella is so sad and they just donât know what to do with that, because theyâre supposed to be sisters but theyâre not even friends
and slowly but surely their mother starts abusing cinderella, starts making her a maid in her own home, and sheâs their mother, what are anastasia and drizella supposed to do? she rules them with an iron fist, and cinderella doesnât even like them anyway, itâs none of their business.
except one night anastasia crawls into her sisterâs bed in the middle of the night and wakes her up. âi was thirsty,â she explains, eyes wide and shiny, and theyâre bad at this with other people but drizella has no problems with pulling anastasia into her arms. the younger girl clutches her sister and continues, âi was thirsty and i went down to the kitchen to get some water and - and cinderella is still up! sheâs doing the dishes, and she should be asleep, mom is going to make her make breakfast in the morning and -â she cuts herself off with a hiccup and whispers, âitâs not fair.â
âlife isnât fair,â drizella says, echoing one of their motherâs favorite phrases. but her sister is staring at her with wet eyes, and itâs not like their mother is likely to get up before sunrise anyway, she hates waking up, so she pulls herself and anastasia out of bed and off they go.
Keep reading
Iâm a cis-gender man which basically means that, when I was born, the doctor went âItâs a boy!â and when I was old enough to understand I agreed with him.
The thing is, I donât know why I feel like a man. I was teased and bullied for it a lot when I was little. Iâve never had stereotypically American male interests. I never cared about sports or cars or guns. I was more interested in music and cooking and the arts. Iâve always been emotionally in tune and sensitive, even when I did my best to suppress my emotions to survive a childhood of abuse from other children.
Itâs not physical either. I donât feel like a man because I have a penis or a beard. If you put my brain in a robot body or any other body, my essence would still feel male (I assume). I literally canât imagine what being any other gender would feel like, since I feel so acutely male.
I think thatâs why the concept of being transgender always made sense to me. Iâm a man. I donât have any bloody clue why I feel like a man, but I donât feel that itâs tied to my body or my interests or the way that Iâve been treated. I feel like a man because of something beyond that. Something ephemeral. So, why couldnât others feel the same? Why couldnât a person whoâs been misidentified as a girl feel like a boy for the exact same nebulous reasons that I do?
And, since gender really doesnât make any sense to me anyway, why couldnât there also be people who feel as if they donât have one? Or who flow across genders like a ship on a map?
Are there people out there whose sense of their own gender is inseparable from their physical form? If you put those people into robot bodies or, simply, other physically different bodies, would their gender identity also swap? If so, why? Are they actually more lost in their gender identity than I am and they need to hone in on the physical in order to anchor themselves?
Why do people feel like they are the gender that they are?
This is very soul filling to read. Thank you
My grandfather, who had a difficult time coming to terms with it when I came out, has been working very hard to understand me and my experience. About 5 weeks ago, he asked me, almost offhand, âwhy are you so sure that youâre a man?â
And I replied, âwell, I could ask you the same thing.â And I moved on, continued, tried to explain why I feel the way that I do, but I donât think he heard any of those things that I said afterward.Â
Because six days later, we talked about it again, and this is what he told me:Â
âI couldnât stop thinking about what you said last week. Because all my life I identified it as âthese are the parts that I have, and so I am a manâ. But youâre living proof that gender is not limited to what is attached to your body, so I asked myself, why am I a man? And all I can say is âbecause I have no idea what it feels like to be anything elseâ. I cannot imagine what itâs like to be a woman. Or neither, or both, or any other gender. I have always been a man.â
And I replied, âthatâs exactly what it feels like for me.â
So, shoutout to my cisgender grandfather, for stumbling upon the essence of being trans accidentally, with very little help from me. I love you, grandpa.
watching cis folks suddenly and comprehensively grasp the inessential nature of gender is always a joy
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
not a lot of old-ass movies hold up in terms of comedy but sleeping beauty is fucking hilarious. âthis is the 14th century.â âthatâs because itâs on you dear.â the king at the end being confused af. fucking amazing
ok yeah im watching it again and nobody ever points out but. when merryweather says âyou canât sew and sheâs never cookedâ that like highkey implies that merryweather was the one in charge of actually taking care of the fucking kid which is hysterical. if merryweather was the main parental figure itâs a wonder aurora isnât down for murder 24/7
see itâs easy to say âflora fauna and merryweather are a polyam coupleâ but tbh i think just flora and fauna are married, they both seem vaguely maternal towards merryweather, who in turn seems a lot younger and less experienced. so i have the headcanon that over in the fae realm these two were put in charge of training merryweather as their fae apprentice or whatever which somehow makes âmerryweather was the one to take care of auroraâ even FUNNIER. imagine youâre trying to train under these two powerful fairies and then before you know it youâre in the middle of the woods raising a baby and it turns out that without their wands your mentors are useless lesbians who donât know how to cook. no wonder sheâs so pissed all the time
i never liked the criticism that âaurora doesnât do anything she only has like 10 lines thatâs not #feministâ because. the main characters of the movie are the fairies, she just happens to get marketed more nowadays cause of the disney princess lineup, if you actually watch the movie itâs clear sheâs not the protagonist, neither is phillip, i think he has roughly equal screentime to her. gender equality theyâre both useless
but anyway when disney was doing that thing where they made one-shitbillion sequels they have serious untapped potential in post-movie aurora main character. because listen. listen. first of all she went through the most wild life-changing shit all in like two hours so sheâs gonna be dealing with the fallout from that
but more importantly. girl was raised in the WOODS. she runs around barefoot petting wild animals and eating shit she picked up off the ground. she now lives in a castle as the future monarch. WHERE is my comedy sequel about that. where the FUCK is it. where is my scene of the servants and royals like âweâre so happy our beloved, perfect princess is finally back :)â and then she walks in covered in mud, smelling like riverwater, carrying a live fish and saying âi caught dinnerâ phillip sees nothing wrong with this
prince phillip is quietly and intensely goddamn grateful that he managed to be the first man aurora ever saw because like she is the most incredible woman heâs ever seen in the entire world and heâs a dude that hangs out in the woods talking to his horse which is also her favourite activity
like, their parents are all very smug at what a great love match theyâve made in hooking their kids up together somehowâthere was a dragon involved? ok??âexcept it turns out that the reason they get along so fucking well is theyâre snarky little shits with no tact and less patience who spend as much time as humanly possible ditching out on court duties to fuck around in the woods
the kings and queens can only hope that the prince and princess are literally fucking around in those woods, because at this rate their only hope for a halfway functional heir to the throne is going to be kidnapping their own grandchildren
or maybe just crowning the damn horse
me, reaching into my dresser drawer for black pants: I hope this isnât the pair with big holes worn in the inner thighs
Marie Kondo, gently over my shoulder: why is a pair of pants you find unwearable still in your dresser drawer
me: oh shit thatâs right!! The dresser is for clothes that under some circumstance I might conceivably wear!!
Marie Kondo, beaming proudly: Yes, thatâs correct!! These pants must have been your favorites. How wonderful that they were so comfortable and practical that you wore them out. But now since they no longer function as pants, you should move them from the drawer where you keep your functioning pants!
me: Yes thanks I got it theyâre in the fabric basket now
Marie Kondo, fading back into the darkness: I love what youâve done with the kitchen!!
The notion of KonMari as some creepy semi-embodied but entirely benevolent spirit, like a well-intentioned Bloody Mary, is so perfect and wonderful.
Marie Kondo has the same powers but the exact opposite energy of the Duolingo Owl.
YES.
Marie Kondo: Your room isnât very clean, but thatâs okay, I love mess! Does this spark joy?
Duolingo Owl: I wrote the ransom note in Spanish, and if you have to use Google Translate to read it, your kid gets it. You broke your streak. Iâll break your neck.
Marie Kondo holding your child, while standing on the remains of the Duolingo Owl : The Bird did not spark joy
my circle so small i almost cut myself off