Roman around my mind

Dna | he/they/she | 🏳️‍🌈 | Fandom trash | I dunno, you're the one who's here

[ghostofmads]

rb to bonk prev with an empty paper towel roll

[ghostofmads]

rb to bonk prev with an empty paper towel roll

[ghostofmads]

rb to bonk prev with an empty paper towel roll

[ghostofmads]

rb to bonk prev with an empty paper towel roll

[ghostofmads]

rb to bonk prev with an empty paper towel roll

[ghostofmads]

rb to bonk prev with an empty paper towel roll

[kingoftheu]

One tragic aspect of the Odyssey that I've never really seen handled by any adaptation is the link between Odysseus' marriage and the Trojan War itself.

When Helen was of age to be married, all the Lords of Greece came to seek her hand. This was an issue for her stepfather the King of Sparta who could only pick one husband and then would have to deal with the far greater number of angry rejected suitors.

One suitor was Odysseus, then a younger man. He quickly ascertained that he had no chance of marrying Helen. Ithaca was too poor for him to even bring any proper gifts, let alone a dowry. But he did catch the eye of the King's niece, one Penelope.

Now Penelope was still a bit out of Odysseus' league, but not so much as Helen was. So he makes a deal with the King of Sparta. Support my bid to marry Penelope, and I'll give you a solution to this suitors problem. The King agrees, so Odysseus suggests all the suitors swear an oath to defend Helen's marriage from anyone who might strike against it. They all, including Odysseus, so swear, and Helen is married to Menelaus. The King proves as good as his word, and Penelope is wed to Odysseus.

Of course this means that Odysseus has now bound himself to fight for Helen and Menelaus. After an attempt to feign madness he is forced to fulfill his duty.

So his own plan, to marry Penelope and stop a hoard of ravenous suitors, ends with him forced to defend his own marriage from a hoard of ravenous suitors.

[hetaari-deactivated20230325]

Mama Mia it’s-a Wednesday

[hetaari-deactivated20230325]

WRONG FUCKING IMAGE

[its-your-mind]

HAPPY MAMA MIA ITS-A WEDNESDAY WRONG FUCKING IMAGE WEDNESDAY

[concoctionboy]

I have reblogged this post on previous Wednesdays without adding anything to it, but I figured to respect the artist it might be a good idea to add a link to the source of the photo.

Anyway, Happy Mama Mia It's-A Wednesday Wrong Fucking Image Wednesday once again.

[makingtrouble]

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

[makingtrouble]

Actually I've decided this is a poem

[morhath]

I hate when king arthur has all these fussy little steps in the instructions and you're like "no way do these fussy little steps matter" but you try it and they do. they matter so much.

[bookaddict7342]

I thought you meant Camelot quests and I was like "that's fair, 'never pick a four leaf clover on the last Wednesday of the month' IS a fussy little step that shouldn't matter" but then I was like "wait isn't that also a flour company"

[morhath]

nooo I am not a beleaguered knight of the round table I am making elaborate focaccia 😭

[copperbadge]

"I hate when King Arthur has all these fussy little steps" -- Camelot cleaning staff, probably

[ohwait-shesinspace]

@justcakethanks for you 🩷

[pukicho]

are you the founder of the tumblr dialect and language, dear and almighty pukicho?

I probably contributed a little bit to the speech patterns people use on this site, which is such a very very bad yucky terrible thing for everyone.

[fleetwood-mac-andcheese]

[itsbasil]

you put those tags on this post where they belong

[imgdist0000]

drawing people i see in the city (59/?)

[homunculus-argument]

Autism is some monkey's paw sort of shit, you've got the power to give people the most devastating rip-your-scalp-off level insults that will haunt them for life, with a completely straight face, but the catch is that you don't do it on purpose and also have no idea that you're doing it at all before people get mad at you for no apparent reason again.

[nikolaibrarian]

I remember when my older sister, who was not an avid reader when we were kids, "discovered" the Twilight books and got excited about reading for the first time. She finished the first one and recommended it to me (a known Book Enjoyer™️) as she started the second.

I blew through it before she'd made it 100 pages into New Moon, and let her know that when she finished, I was ready for the next one. Her face lit up, delighted to finally bond over a shared interest with her weird gremlin of a sibling, and asked "Yeah? Aren't they great?" and my autistic ass responded:

"I mean, I guess. They're probably good for people who haven't read a lot of books."

and at the time I did not understand why that had upset her.

[dragongirlsweetie]

it's actually so crazy how much the simpsons would fucking suck if it didn't have any of the simpsons characters. just a bunch of shots of empty houses and streets for half an hour while nothing happens. that would be so badddd lol

[auroroboros1]

yeah that tends to happen when you remove characters from media. without characters its all just background. i guess movies set in scenic locations would still land as kinda nature docs but even then

[dragongirlsweetie]

it only happens with the simpsons

[auroroboros1]

this same criticism could be applied to nearly any media ever.

[dragongirlsweetie]

it's just the simpsons. are you a troll?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Dragon's right, if you remove all the Simpsons characters from Death Note it hardly changes anything

[caffeinewitchcraft]

A 75 yo man proudly came into the cafe wearing an Ultra Maga hat. I excused my barista from the register to handle the transaction.

"The hat is customizable," he said, struggling with the velcro patch on the front. "If I need it, I have an ICE one too. I pick based off the business i walk into."

"Customizable is an important hat descriptor," I said. "what can I get you?"

"You wouldn't believe how offended people get these days," he said. "And I'm supposed to do something about it if you're offended? You chose to be offended!"

"We all have hundreds of thousands of decisions everyday," I said. I thickened my accent. "That's what my stepdad always said. But I can make one easier - we have a delicious Ethiopian roast available."

"Like if I told you you have a bull ring," he said, "because bulls have rings in their noses. Is that offensive?"

I laughed. "I've heard that before."

"It's a joke, but people get offended. Maybe you're offended."

I looked at him. I smiled. "You aren't trying to offend me though, right?"

Of course he was. I was being friendly and the friendlier I was, the faster he switched topics. He was saying anything inflammatory he could think of to see if I'd take the bait. After about 20 minutes of my redirecting and deescalating, he settled into a more normal interaction. He took up too much of my time showing me a product I'd feigned mild interest in to get him to stop talking about getting accused of inappropriate behavior at work. When we finally disengaged, he spent 10 minutes trying to catch my eye again. When he failed, he left.

There's this new breed of customer who insists on trying to incite political conversation through their clothing and, when that doesnt work, their snide little comments. If I owned my own business, maybe I would have given the guy the fight he wanted. But I work for a corporation and I love paying my bills so I deescalated.

Anyone wearing that type of shit and preying on workers for their own spank bank material is a brainless fucking sheep.